I’ve discussed heroines swallowing buckets of love juice AND enjoying it, in my To Swallow Or Not To Swallow blog entry, but I read a book last night that made me question a certain fetish that kinda creeps me out.

Shaving. What’s so sexy about shaving? Not just the shaving of the heroine’s bush either, but her hair too. Apparently there’s something about having a buzz cut that’s sensual. What? I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.

There is a certain author out there, who always has in-depth shaving scenes in her book. These scenes have been known to last for up to 4 pages, and usually culminates in the hero going down on the heroine’s freshly shaved love-box.

Have I missed a popular growing trend here?

I think I’ll ask The Tall Guy, if the thought of shaving me turns him on, although in all honesty, I can’t see it, as far as I’m aware, his preferences when it comes to pubic hair, is that he doesn’t find any unwelcome visitors whilst he’s down there. (grin)

*Sob* we can’t get a flight or a train to Paris that wont end up costing us over £600 ($1050) for just the journey there and back!! (The last time we were there we paid £99 ($173) each, so I refuse to fork over that much money just because it’s a bank holiday!

I’ve told hubby that we cant justify spending that much money for a two night break, so we’ll either end up in Amsterdam, or we’ll book a proper holiday to either, Egypt, Mexico, Brazil Cuba or Dominican Republic, and go for a week next month.

I would love to go to Egypt, but I don’t think hubby is too keen. He has visions of us getting kidnapped by fundamentalists. (trainspotter, yech!)

Can you believe we can get a package holiday to Egypt for just £225 ($394) per person? How fab is that!!

Hubby is still considering Cuba, I’ll let you know where we decide to go once it’s been booked!!

I know for sure that I dont want to go to Amsterdam, I’d rather stay home. After you’ve been to the red-light district, and marvelled at old women flashing their pussies at you in their respective windows, what’s left?

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I watched the most amazing football match last night!
Liverpool Football Club produced an incredible comeback to win the Champions League on penalties in one of the most remarkable finals of all time.

Trailing 3-0 after a first half dominated by AC Milan, Liverpool club scored three times in six minutes early in the second half to take the match into extra time and eventually a penalty shootout which they won 3-2.

I’m a staunch Manchester United supporter, but I have to take my hats off to the boys in red across the motorway, they were absolutely magnificent in Istanbul, and dare I say that last night’s match, was even more gripping than our injury time come back against Bayern Munich in 1999.

They say that it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, but as far as I was concerned, the bitch had started warming up her tonsils before the end of the first half, when AC Milan lead the Reds by 3-0.

The Scousers showed guts and immense determination to overturn this deficit. Unfortunately for the Italian side, they’d started polishing the Champions League cup, before it was won, and hence paid dearly.

I’m happy as larry, the Cup has returned to the North of England once again!! As bitter Italian, Gabriel Marcotti said last night, God was a Scouser for 120 minutes!!

God Bless Steven Gerrard and Jerzy Dudek!!!

So The Tall Guy comes home today, and casually asks me if I’d like to go to Paris for the weekend, seeing as it’s a Bank Holiday, and he’s not at work until Tuesday.

I, of course very casually say, “Why not, we’re not doing anything else”.

So there ya have it, we’re going to Paris for the weekend, now all we have to do, is to book the flights, and organise which hotel we’ll be staying at… Or we could go via Eurostar, but to be honest, I hate the thought of being underground for any length of time, so we’re gonna plane it I think. Sheesh, decisions, decisions..(grin)

I recently read an article written by Karin Gillespie, on Romancing the Blog, that grated on my nerves a bit, and thus, made me ask the question, do N.Y.C publishees consider themselves above authors who are published by E-publishers or small/vanity press?

I’m not really sure what the answer is, but I can tell you something, there is a definite air of superiority amongst some traditionally published authors vs authors from lesser known publishing houses. Karin’s comments probably shouldn’t have really surprised me.

She starts off by writing:

“There’s another author that lives in my same city. We’ve both been on the same noontime talk shows: we’ve both been featured in articles in the newspaper. At the bookstore both of our hardcover novels are displayed together at same local-author table. Most people assume we are colleagues, but there are some very important differences between us.
My novel was published by a large New York City publisher; his novel was published by a vanity press masquerading as a legitimate publishing house. As a result his novel is rife with errors, lacks a plot and is clearly the efforts of a novice. I doubt it would have been accepted by a traditional house.”


Do you get the feeling she doesn’t want to be associated with this author? (grin) When she states that she’s been published by a large N.Y.C company, is it me, or does she come off sounding a little superior?

She then goes on to add:

“I spent fifteen years learning to write until I felt ready to submit my work to an agent. I went to writers conferences, read tons of craft books and joined a novel critique group. He’d never written anything before his first novel and pounded out it out over a period of six months.
So why does this bother me? His novel will probably go nowhere beyond the small city where we live, and he won’t make a dime off of it. But still the situation grates my nerves.

When I was recently introduced to him at a party, the host said to me, “Bill is an author, just like you!”
“No, he isn’t!” I wanted to retort.”

Wow, you go Karin!! I get the fact that she honed her craft to the nth degree before she submitted her work for publication, and maybe it pisses her off to see somebody who obviously isn’t as talented as her getting a free ride, but come on, she’s made it, that’s good right? Why worry about a lesser mortal than herself? She’s already admitted that he probably wont make a dime, so what’s she so worried about? Him tainting her work? Hello?

She assumes that because of his publishing status, he’ll probably amount to nothing, which really annoyed the hell out of me. I can’t imagine that there aren’t really talented writers out there who for one reason or another have been refused by some of the big publishing houses, what are they to do then? Curl up and die, until Mira comes a-calling?

“Writing a book doesn’t make someone an author anymore than applying a Band-Aid to a skinned knee makes someone a doctor. Reviewers of large newspapers, publishing people and most media outlets can spot these so-called “authors” fairly readily, but how can the average Joe tell the difference between a real writer and a dilettante?”

If someone truly believes that they are talented, and they manage the great feat of finishing a book, why can they not be considered an author? The book that they’ve written may not be very good, in fact it might be flush-down-the-toilet bad, but that would just be an opinion, wouldn’t it, because as we all know, one man’s meat, is another man’s poison. Who’s to say that people won’t enjoy his book, as badly written as it may be?

The comment about reviewers spotting the chaff from the wheat, also hit my hot button, have I told you recently that I think reviews are just other people’s opinions, and that they NEVER influence my buying choices?

As an Average Joe, does it matter to me that an author is published by a main house, or by a vanity press company? Not really, do you know why? Because if the book sucks, I just don’t buy that authors stuff again. It certainly doesn’t make me turn me against a whole genre, or judge other authors on somebody else’s crap writing. I think I know better than that.

“I know I sound petty, but as a writer who went through a great deal of trouble to learn my craft, I’m annoyed that my efforts and other authors’ efforts are diluted by not-ready-for-publication authors.”


You know what Karin, I think you do sound petty, in the great scheme of things, how is this small guy gonna affect your sales and readership? People aren’t as stupid as you may think, they buy what they like, and if it’s a big disappointment, they shrug their shoulders, and never go there again.

“After all, the public is deluged with plenty of traditionally published books; it shouldn’t have to sort through the efforts of amateurs as well.”

Karin, I hate to say this, (ok, no I don’t) but there are plenty of crap traditionally published books out there, it may be that the ‘amateur’ one is just the thing that we’re looking for to get us out of a reading rut. Who’s to say otherwise?

“If I sound like a gatekeeper to an exclusive country club, I apologize. In fact, I’m glad to help aspiring writers and always take the time to answer their questions and give advice. I’m also thrilled when authors I’ve counseled finally see success in the publishing world.”

Yep Karin, you do sound like the gatekeeper to an exclusive country club. Not everybody has your patience, some people want success yesterday, and are maybe willing to pay to get it. This doesn’t make them bad people or in fact bad writers, but if they can’t get their work out there by traditional means, who’s gonna know how brilliant they actually are?

I think that everybody deserves a shot at their dream, and I think it’s pretty harsh to look down your nose at somebody just because they’ve chosen to take a different route to you. If they suck muchos big time, then they wont sell anyway, and the world can be free of such dastardly heathens.

So my question is, do you think that there is an almost sub-conscious snobbery amongst N.Y.C published authors, about small/vanity press or e-published writers? I know that some authors are probably too polite/politically correct to tell me what they really think, but readers, what do you think?

Well I’ve had another fairly busy weekend, I wont bore you to death reiterating the ins and out of everything that I did this weekend, so here are just a few of the more noteworthy activities.

The way the contest works (for my American Amigo’s) is that each European country selects a singer or a band to represent them in the finals. On the night, each nation then cast votes on who they like best.

To cut a long story short, what generally happens, is that instead of voting for who was the best, all the voting countries award points to their neighbours (e.g. Greece awards maximum points to Cyprus, and vice versa, all the Baltic countries stick together, Andorra awards maximum points to Spain, and they in return do the same) Nobody ever votes for United Kingdom these days due to the fact, we’re such a force in world politics, and also because of our involvement in the Iraq War. It’s all very political, and completely farcical, and I’m not sure why it continues, but from a British point of view, I do think most people tune in just to hear Terry’s witty repartee.

This guy, who was called Edward, was the minister of her church group where she attended regularly (Church of England no less, I tell ya those religious types, yech!) and had been calling on her for ages (apparently he did all the chasing when they first met).

Last week a couple of new ladies joined the church group, (Flora seemed to think they were there just to find men, the Jezebels), and these “mutton, dressed as lamb” (her words not mine) made a beeline straight for Edward (Floozies), and apparently last week, Aida, who’s a friend of Flora’s saw Edward with a lady (who wasn’t Flora) at a concert.

That completes my tales for the weekend. I’m off to see my mother in a while, to see if she’s cooked anything worth stealing. If so I’ll bring said food item back home and pretend to hubby that I’ve made it myself.

I was tagged by Meljean Brook


Last Book I Bought:
Princess By Jean P Sasson, A true story about the life of a Saudi Arabian Princess

Total Number of Books I own?
Erm…. 2.5 rooms worth?

Last Romance Books I read
Arm Candy, By Jo Leigh

The Last New To Me Read
The Sweet Gum Tree, by Katherine Allred, fabulous book

Last Non-Romance I read
Keane, the Autobiography – Roy Keane, (Manchester United’s Captain) Only Soccer fans will know who he is

5 Books that mean a lot to me

Anne of Green Gables, L.M Montgomery
This is a love affair that’s been going on since I was ten years old. I recall disobeying my parents when I was 11, and running all the way into the nearest town centre (12 miles there and back) to fetch Anne of Avonlea from the library.
I have every single ‘Anne’ book that was ever written by L.M Montgomery.

Just William, Richmal Crompton
I remember always laughing hysterically at Williams antics, plus I won an art contest in which I drew a fabulous picture of William!

The Way To Yesterday, Sharon Sala
A Fabulous book that when the world is grey, and books are crap, I turn to, to help rejuvenate my love of romance.

Rats, by James Herbert
The very first book that I read that had the term “her moist warmth” in it! I didn’t sleep for weeks after I read this book.

The Secret of Little Tanglewood
I read this book when I was 8, and I haven’t been able to find it since, I can’t remember who wrote it either! All my google search just comes up with Tanglewood Tales, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, but this was not the same book I’d read at 8!

Tag 5 people to do this: Sheesh I don’t know… erm… Oh well, here’s my list::

Sarah McCarty

JaynieR

Sam Winston

AngieW

Monica Jackson

I haven’t read so much this week, but I did enjoy Isabel Sharpe’s book, sheesh, I forget the name of it, I think it was a Blaze title. I have read quite a few autobiographies this week, I read Victoria Beckham’s ‘Learning To Fly’, which was very interesting, mind you, the pictures of a gorgeous looking David Beckham helped hugely. I also read Roy Keane’s autobiography (He’s the captain of Manchester United Football Club), which was a revelation.
Apart from the obvious ‘Sweet Gum Tree’, which was worthy of it’s very own blog, I can’t say I’ve read anything else noteworthy, so I’ll give you a list of the books that I’m looking forward to buying as soon as they come out.

Sarah McCarty’s

‘The Others’ from her newly birthed ‘Conception’ series, hurry up and finish it already!
Lori Foster’s ‘Jamie’ , it feels like I’ve been waiting for this book forever Lori!
Jaci Burton’s ‘Spring Rain’ this is the final book in the Storm for All Seasons series.
The next Patricia Cornwell ‘Scarpetta’ novel, ‘Trace’ didn’t live up to the other books, so I’m looking forward to the next one!
Chey McCray’s

next ‘Wonderland’ book featuring Lord Kir.

I haven’t read any books that I wanted to flush down the toilet this week, so, we’ll keep my Worst Book of the Week award, till next time. I can almost hear the sighs of relief from here (grin).

I can’t be bothered going into chapter and verse about the latest idiot to hit the blogwaves (yep, my blog, I can now be as rabid as I please) I believe JaynieR perfectly echoed my sentiments in her blog, but the one thing I learned in the past 24 hours, is that there’s some really stupid people out there.

I’m not an author, so the worst thing that can happen to me if I piss somebody off, is that they stop talking to me (and let’s face it, sometimes that’s more of a blessing than a curse) but as an author, NO, NO, NO. NO!!! You can’t say just say what you want, or should I say you can, but what happens, is that you lose readers. There are huge double standards at work here, but let’s face it, this is the way things work, you have books to sell, I don’t.

If Ms Buy Yourself a Clue, had critiqued certain elements of the erotic romance genre, I don’t think many people would have had a problem, because many of the things she had to say, do apply to some erotic romance books, but she didn’t really do that did she? She put every single erotic author out there in the same boat, which was mistake number one. Mistake number two, was calling erotic romance readers Fetish-Ridden Verbal Crack Whores, yep, nice going Bitch! Can I interest you in a copy of Dale Carnegie’s, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’?

And Melissa Alvarez at NAD, yeah actually, I do think that the Preditors and Editors Poll was an absolute farce. You won 8 of the categories including Best Art Cover,(cue burst of laughter) Best Editor, and Best Publisher in your first year, even though nobody could actually figure out who you were, and had twelve top ten places? Whatever! I thought it was fishy at the time, before I actually cared, now I know it’s definitely fishy, yeah I’m calling you on it, wanna know the name of my lawyer?

If anybody disagrees with me, that’s completely ok, it’s a free world, but do me a favour, don’t post anonymously, because that kind of negates anything useful you have to say. Have the courage of your convictions, and don’t hide behind a false name either.

I like Renee Zellwegger , she always strikes me as being a genuinely likeable person, BUT what I do not like is how damn skinny she is.

Having watched both Bridget films, I’m absolutely astounded by the comparison. In Bridget, she looks like she’s been well fed, but it certainly doesn’t detract from her sexiness. Post-Bridget, she seems to turn into a skeletal ghost.

For some reason she seems to think that the see-through and bony look is the new black, no honey, Halle Berry’s beautiful curves are this season’s must-have item.

Whenever I see Ms Zellwegger, I want to introduce her poor skin to a sun bed, and sit her on my table and feed her fish, chips and curry sauce, until her arse pads out a bit, and her boobs, go past the eggs-on-an-ironing-board stage.

Renee, the emaciated look went out with Dave Chapelle’s mental health, so I suggest you get yourself a family sized KFC bucket, and proceed to eat it all by yourself, I promise you, Kenny will love the results.