Here is some additional info from Helen:

It launches in January 2006. The covers are amazing. They’re looking for novellas and single titles. The basic word counts are 25,000 for novellas and 90,000 for single title but they are open to anything. They even said that if you have a 15,000 word manuscript, send it and they’ll see if they can make it work. They are buying. Let me repeat that, they are buying.

Some folks are talking about getting 6 book contracts. People who tried to get in with Brava but the books were too hot are finding a home with the whatever-we-call-it line. Don’t send to Kate Duffy because she said this isn’t her thing.

Hillary Sares and Audrey LaFehr are the folks to write to. Don’t bother with synopsis and waiting for a response to a query - send in chapters. Unsolicited and unagented - as with all of the Kensington romance lines - are welcome.

For more information on what’s hot and what’s not in romance, you’ll need to read the rest of Helen’s post. Oh yeah, she’s giving away free books too.

One of the readers of her column made a comment that I thought was very interesting, as did quite a lot of other people, thus the discussion went completely off topic after this:

There is an underlying dialogue in this issue that is really beginning to bother me. That is the assumption that anyone who is uncomfortable reading erotica is somehow ignorant, closed-minded, or prejudiced.

Consider this: If a person is uncomfortable with interracial marriage, does that make him a racist?”

My answer to this question, is pretty much a resounding yes.

Mostly because in my mind, when something makes you feel uncomfortable, there is usually a reason for it. The discomfort comes from a place that you may have never thought existed, and probably would never openly acknowledge, even to yourself, but it’s there all the same.

As human beings, we constantly make snap judgements on various situations, and sometimes, the conclusions we draw can lead to feelings of discomfiture.

If somebody looks at a black and white couple, and it makes them feel uncomfortable, what other conclusions can be drawn from that?

You can argue that they aren’t racist, that it’s just something they are unfamiliar with, but that’s simply not true.

We just don’t want to admit to being racist, because admitting it would be like saying that we are bad human beings. Which wouldn’t be necessarily true either.

The fact is, all of us, have it within us to be racist or predjudiced towards certain people or certain situations. We may not acknowledge it, but it’s there all the same.

Even I have it, and I’m pretty much perfect:) It’s not desirable, nor is it something I would usually ever even think about, but I know that deep, way deep down inside of me, those undesirable feelings are there, waiting to be triggered. But the difference is, the feelings aren’t strong enough to make me act on them. After all, I’m basically a good person.

Racism isn’t just about looking at somebody and actively or even inactively disliking the colour of their skin. It’s way more than that, and in my opinion, it has many forms.

I actually finished it last night, and unlike Season of The Sun, I had to look back at the blurb, to remind myself what the bloody book was about.

This is how the story goes:

Girl Abused is sold to Absolute Bastard Husband by her half-brother, without her knowledge.

Absolute Bastard marries Girl Abused, but is too old to get it up, so he subjects her to giving him oral satisfaction. (His dick still manages to stay limp though)

Absolute Bastard Husband treats her cruelly, and constantly whips her when he thinks she’s out of line. (sound familiar?)

The only person in the house that gives a toss about her is Girl- Interrupted Nanny. (actually she’s an old hag)

Girl Abused decides to grow a backbone and runs away to her half-brother, whom she mistakenly thinks will look after her, after learning of her husband’s cruelty.

Greedy Twat Half-Brother pretends to be sympathetic to her plight, but in actual fact, he calls Absolute Bastard Husband, and offers to return Girl Abused to him for a further five thousand pounds.

Absolute Bastard Husband agrees, and whilst Girl Abused is pleading her case to Greedy Twat Half-Brother, he is actually in the back room holding the belt that he usually whips her with.

Absolute Bastard husband drags Girl Abused home and gives her a jolly good beating. She doesn’t try to run again.

Absolute Bastard Husband is desperate to have more children, but as he has a limp dick, he invites his son over to the house with the intention of making Girl Abused have sex with him, and hopefully get her pregnant at the same time.

Absolute Bastard Husband, makes Girl Abused give Randy Step-Brother a blowjob. (Not nice)

That night Absolute Bastard chokes on a herring bone and dies. (Tragic)

Boy Hero Soldier has been in love with Girl Abused for years, but when they first met, she was just a wee young girl of 15, and he was too much of an honourable man to take advantage of her. He decides to wait before he makes her his wife.

Boy Hero Soldier, then gets called away to Toulouse on active duty (something to do with Napoleon), and doesn’t return to England until a few years later, which brings us up to date.

Girl Abused has inherited everything that belonged to her husband, and is now the lady of the manor.

Randy Step-Brother is still at the house, and insists that he will have her, as his father had wished. (shudder)

Girl Abused is having none of it, and orders him out of her house with his tail between his legs.

Randy Step-Brother goes to Greedy Twat Half-Brother, and between the two of them start hatching a plan to get her.

In the mean time, Boy Hero Soldier returns home, to the consternation of Girl Abused, who is very wary of all men, and their animalistic passions.

Boy Hero Soldier tries his best to woo her, but she’s not the same girl that he left all those years ago. This woman is much harder, and less trusting (ya think?)

Realising that Boy Hero Soldier will not give up easily, Girl Abused decides to sell the manor, and run away to Boston, where her sister lives.

Boy Hero Soldier scuppers her plan, and pretends to be a highwayman and kidnaps her, in order to prevent her from leaving the country. He takes her to a hunting lodge.

Unbeknownst to them, Greedy Twat Half-Brother, and Randy Step-Brother had hatched the same plan, and was waiting for her horse and carriage to arrive so that they could kidnap her. Of course Boy Hero Soldier got there first.

At the hunting lodge, Boy Hero tries to persuade Girl Abused that he loves her and that he wants her to marry him.

Girl Abused is not convinced and tries to run away from him, but it’s raining and she soon develops a fever that could kill her. (you can but hope… just kidding)

Boy Hero suddenly realises that her husband must have treated her really badly (give the man a badge) during their marriage, and vows that he will treat her well.

Close to death, Boy Hero, orders a minister to marry them, whilst she’s basically in a coma (don’t worry folks, he worked out how to make her say “I do”, whilst she was unconscious… it was a genius plan)

Girl Abused of course gets better, and Boy hero takes her home (she wasn’t too pleased that she woke up married to him).

Boy Hero takes her to his home, and begins the long road of trying to win her heart and trust by fair means or foul.

To cut a long story short, they find out that Girl-Interrupted nanny was the one who actually killed Absolute Bastard Husband, and is as nutty as a fruitcake. When Girl abused and Boy Hero start having consensual sex, she goes even more loopy, and tries to stab her whilst she’s sleeping with Boy Hero. (sigh)

Randy Step-Brother finally succeeds in kidnapping Girl Abused, and takes her back to his father’s old house, where he’s enlisted the help of Girl-Interrupted Nanny. (who escaped after trying to kill Girl Abused)

Girl-Interrupted Nanny kills Randy Step-Brother, whilst he’s trying to hump Girl Abused. She then sets fire to the house. (once again, sound familiar?)

Of Course, Boy Hero Soldier gets to Girl Abused in time, and drags her out of the house, leaving Girl-Interrupted Nanny to burn in her madness.

They rediscover their love for each other, and live happily ever after.

My Verdict

I’ve noticed that Catherine has a habit of conveniently killing off the evil husbands who wed her heroines. The problem of course is that most of the time, the murder just doesn’t come across as plausible. For instance, the heroine’s evil husband choked on a herring bone. Come on now. WTF?

It could be me, but what’s up with making all her heroines go through the kind of abuse, that would generally guarantee that they would end up in a nuthouse?

Also, the whole making the heroine give her a step-brother a blow job? Totally unnecessary. I could have perhaps slept better if that scene had been omitted.

Night Fire was obviously more interesting than Moonspun Magic, but it was basically the same story as Season of The Sun, but with marginally less drama.

I certainly hope the rest of her historical romances aren’t along the same lines of Abused Child Bride, and Old Fart Husband Who Croaks, as per Night Fire and Season of The Sun. I just don’t think I could cope.

I started reading this on Friday evening. Didn’t manage to read more than ten pages before my mind started wandering. I finally gave up for the night when I got to page twenty-one. Sigh.

On Saturday morning, hubby and I had a lie-in, and once again, I tried to read. This time I got to page 68, before I decided there were better ways of spending my Saturday mornings. I then spent the next three hours cleaning house. Sigh.

Hubby and I had plans on Saturday evening, so reading was out of the question.

Sunday Morning, I tried again with Moonspun Magic. I got to page 104, when I suddenly decided that this was a good opportunity to watch Terminator 3: Rise of The Machines, which Paul had bought on DVD, and I’d forbidden him to watch in my presence. It was actually better than I thought it would be. Sigh.

I was half-way through T3, when I realised what the problem with Moonspun Magic was. It was f*cking BORING as hell. Sheesh.

I was happy at least until I learned that he was totally innocent. He was a Brazilian man who’d been at a house that the police had been watching closely.

Apparently they followed him to Stockwell tube station, where they shouted for him to stop three times, but instead, he took off running, and jumped onto a train.

The police chased him, and proceeded to shoot him five times at blank-point range. They were under orders to shoot-to-kill suspected suicide bombers.

The intelligence on the other hand was fatally flawed. How did they get it so wrong?

The only problem was that I spent most of the film on the edge of my seat frightened out of my skull. Damn it was scary, I can’t believe it’s only been certified a 12a. If I had a twelve year old, I wouldn’t let him/her watch this film, that’s for sure. They’d be bed-wetting for a year.

Tom Cruise was brilliant as usual, and Tim Robbins was scary as the batshit crazy guy whose family had been killed by the ‘visitors’, but I’ve gotta say, Dakota Fanning totally made the film for me.

All the Lindsey books were out on loan, so I looked for Ms Coulter’s books instead. I found four of her books, so I borrowed all four:

Season of The Sun
Night Fire
Moonspun Magic
Jadestar

I had no idea what any of the books were about because I didn’t even bother reading the blurbs. (You can do that when you’re not paying…).

Whilst I was there, I also picked up Linda Howard’s ‘To Die For’.

When I got home, I closed my eyes and randomly selected my first read, which was of course Season of The Sun.

Evil Step-Daddy had gone after Girl Orphan’s mother, but apparently found her and her lover dead when he arrived. (Likely story)

Evil Step-Daddy returned with Girl Orphans sister, but not before striking her so hard, she ended up losing her hearing. (What a wanker)

Girl Orphan and her sister end up living with Evil Step-Daddy who wants to shag her, but tries to hide his lust under the guise of fatherly concern. (Perv)

One day Viking Warrior spots Girl Orphan at a well, and instantly knows that he has found the love of his life (yeah, yeah, so I had to suspend disbelief temporarily).

Viking Warrior goes up to Girl Orphan, and tells her that he want to marry her, and he wont take no for an answer.

Girl Orphan realises that this is a chance to escape her Evil Step-Daddy, plus it helps that the Viking Warrior is well packaged, yum, yum…

Viking Warrior goes to Evil Step-Daddy, and asks for Girl Orphan’s hand in marriage.

Evil Step-Daddy is very angry, and vows to never let anybody take his precious Girl Orphan from him. He hates Girl Orphan’s little five-year old sister, so he kidnaps her, and blackmails Girl Orphan into refusing marriage to Viking Warrior.

Girl Orphan pretends to Viking Warrior that the only reason she accepted marriage was because she wanted to sample his cod-piece. (The harlot!)

Viking Warrior’s pride is hugely dented, and soon his love turns to hate.

Evil Step-Daddy weds Girl Orphan, to the fury of Psychotic Daughter-in-law. She fears that Girl Orphan will get all of Evil Step-Daddy’s riches, whilst she and her weak-assed husband scratch around for scraps.

Psychotic Daughter-in-law poisons Evil Step-Daddy, and when he dies, Girl Orphan gets blamed for it, and gets hurled into prison.

Viking Warrior comes back, and buys her as his slave, and takes her back to his home in Norway with a slave collar round her neck.

Viking Warrior is still hurt and angry over what he sees as her betrayal, so he treats her like shit and forcefully ‘seduces’ (rapes) her night after night.

If Girl Orphan thought that Psychotic Daughter-in-law was bad, she was in for a real treat with Viking Warrior’s Jealous Raving Lunatic Sister (for the purpose of this blurb, we’ll refer to her as Raving Lunatic Sister) who hates her and feels irrationally threatened by her.

Raving Lunatic Sister whips Girl Orphan with a belt to within an inch of her life for daring to help herself to some porridge, and was going to do the same to her little sister, when Viking Warrior intervenes.

One day, Girl Orphan decides that enough is enough and takes her Little Sister with her, and tries to escape from Viking Warrior in a boat.

Viking Warrior is so angry that he jumps into the water after them. Girl Orphan’s Little Sister, thinks that her beloved Viking Warrior is going to die, and jumps into the water to try to save him (she’s five years old…) but goes under water, and her body is never found.

Girl Orphan is sickened with grief, and blames Viking Warrior for her death.

Viking Warriors son goes missing, feared dead. (Damn bad luck).

Now it’s Viking Warrior’s turn to be grief stricken. In their mutual misery, the two lovebirds turn to each other for comfort, and Viking Warrior stops forcibly ‘seducing’ (raping) her every night. Instead he makes wondrous love to her, and they co-exist in relative peace together.

That is, until Raving Lunatic Sister (who is out of favour with the family) runs away to Very Bad Man who had been raping young girls and pillaging and burning nearby villages. (No accounting for taste).

Very Bad Man kidnaps Girl Orphan and attempts to rape her. (At the request of Raving Lunatic Sister)

I could go on forever, but basically Very Bad Man eventually gets his come-uppance, and they all live happily ever after (well, except for Raving Lunatic Sister, who went clinically insane after setting fire to Very Bad Man whom she’d loved like no other)

My Verdict…

Well if I’m honest, I actually found this book very hard to put down. I feel like I should go to Confession after reading Season of The Sun, but I can honestly say that it was really interesting. *waits for lightning to strike her down*

I’m not sure what I enjoyed about it, because there were so many improbable situations that occurred in the book, that at times I found myself, laughing out loud.

In retrospect, if I’d been Girl Orphan, I would have probably killed myself long before her happy-ending. Some people are just born damn unlucky!

I suspect I liked this story, because it was different to what I’ve been reading lately, although I have to say, I HATED the forced seduction scenes.

The reasons I avoid historicals set in my country are because, A, the heroes are always bastards who make me want to shove an arrow up their arse, and B, the heroines are always so damn flaky, and virginal, and stupid.

In an effort to combat this predjudice, I would like some recommendations of good historical writers. Apparently Johanna Lindsey is a good writer of historical romances, but I can honestly say I’ve never bought any of her books. I think this is mostly because her covers are somewhat cheesy, so being somebody who generally does judge a book by it’s cover, it’s not surprising that I haven’t picked up any of hers yet.

When I was in Borders last week, I did actually pick up a historical, with the intention of buying it, for the life in me, I can’t remember who the author was, but then I spotted some Jeffrey Archer books that I hadn’t read yet, so back on the shelf it went.