I’ve often waxed lyrical on how much I admire author bloggers who are up-front and to the point, but never in a month of Sundays would I expect an author to go to these lengths.

Sandra Scoppetone, is a mystery writer who’s editor has decided to quit the business. Sandra is devastated by this fact, and wonders who her new editor will be, and whether or not, she’ll be offered a new contract. This is what she writes:

“This doesn’t put paid to my earlier anxieties as everything I worried about still applies and in fact adds to my worries. Who will my new editor be, if I’m going to have one?

Not to insult anyone, but this editor is the last of a certain breed…a gentleman and a man of experience. I don’t know for sure, but I’d say he’s in his early fifties. He mentioned the possibility of one editor and I asked how old the person was. Twenty-nine.

I know any editor is probably going to be younger than I, but twenty-nine? He/she could be even younger, not only at this publishing house but almost everywhere. I’m not saying an editor of that age has to be horrible, in fact I know that someone so young could be the best editor I’ve ever had. Still, it gives me pause.”

She’s just basically announced to the world that she hopes that her new editor wont be a young know-it-all twenty something.

An anonymous commentator lets her know exactly what she/he thinks about her honesty.

“Sandra, I’m a first-time reader of your blog–arrived through a link of an old favorite, GalleyCat–and I have been looking through your archives with interest.

I thoroughly sympathize with your anxiety about whether or not your publishers will offer you a new contract. However, I wonder whether you realize how far you’ve gone in making sure that they do NOT do so. In one post or another, you’ve insulted the art department, the copyeditor, your own editor, and the company itself. You haven’t restrained yourself to making specific substantive complaints, either, but have gone on to imply nasty things about intelligence, general competence, and so on.

In other words, you’ve gone some distance towards making yourself look like what editors call a nightmare author, the kind of person who makes coming into work every day a burden rather than a pleasure.

Of course, if you’re John Grisham or Dan Brown, you can be as nightmarish as you like, and it won’t affect your contract. But if your numbers are only mediocre, then you’ve put yourself in a bit of a fix: you’re now in a position where your publishers are looking for an excuse to drop you, rather than fighting for the chance to keep you on. In other words, if your sales aren’t strong enough to overcome all the other negatives involved in dealing with you, then you may indeed be looking for a new publisher soon.”

Pow, take that beeotch!

That’s enough procrastinating for me, I’m working late tonight, and I want to go home sometime tonight. Anybody know any nice non-hotel meeting venues in Downtown/midtown New York?

Video footage allegedly showing two kidnap victims

Can anybody tell me why we still have western aid workers out in Iraq?

Another four aid workers have been kidnapped in Baghdad. Two Canadians, a Briton, and an American, were snatched in the western area of the city last week.

One of the aid workers, 74 year old Norman Kember (the Brit), was an ardent campaigner against the war in Iraq, and he along with the other three, worked for an organisation called the Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT). Do the monsters who abducted him care? I think not.

I know that these people are there to help, but have they learned nothing from the Ken Bigley-type stories?

It doesn’t matter to the the Islamic fundamentalists out there that these people are specifically in the country to help their people. To them, all westerners are infidels, whose lives have no value.

The CPT had this to say:

“We are angry because what has happened to our team mates is the result of the actions of the U.S. and UK governments due to the illegal attack on Iraq and the continuing occupation and oppression of its people,”

Okey dokey then…

So I ask the question again, why the f*ck are civilians still out there?

Thinking about it, why can’t our soldiers come home too?

Author Name: Susan Kearney
Website: www.susankearney.com
Genre: paranormal romance
Latest book in shops now: Beyond The Edge


Before we begin this interview, I need to check that you’re still grounded and that your head isn’t swollen from all of your success, so with that in mind, what was the last thing you bought at Walmart, and do you know how much a loaf of bread costs?

The last thing I bought at Walmart was iguana food. And since I’m on a low carb diet and don’t eat bread, I have no idea what bread costs:)

You have an iguana? Cool!

What were your favourite books as a child?

Biographies and the Noddy Books.

What does a typical day as a writer consist of?

Six pages—get them done—any way I can. Sometimes it’s an hour, sometimes half the day. The rest of the day is spent either with promotional work or play time.

Name your top five favourite books of all time.

Atlas Shrugged, Time Enough For Love, The Challenge, Warrior’s Woman, Synonym Finder.

Synonym Finder? *g*

Which authors are you glomming at the moment? (reading a lot of?)

I don’t have lots of extra time for reading so I end up reading my critique partner’s work. But they are all fabulous writers. Julie Leto, Charlotte Douglas, Jeannie London

Do you have other close romance writer friends, and if so who are they?

Besides my critique partners? Oh my. Virginia Henley got me started in the business. But there are so many that to name only some, I’d be afraid of leaving out others.

When did you realise that you wanted to write books, and who or what inspired you?

I started to write a book in college and never finished. Then when I read Johanna Lindsey’s Warrior’s Woman, I loved it and wanted to write books like her. I finished the book. The Challenge was the first book I ever wrote and the 38th book published.

If you could have a one-to-one conversation with a famous historical figure, who would it be with and what would you talk about?

Neil Armstrong. I’d like to talk to him about his flight to the moon.

What is your ultimate goal when it comes to your writing?

Goals in writing seem almost a set up for failure. I prefer to set goals about the part of my life I can control. But specifically for writing, each book is my best in the time I’m allotted to write it—that’s the most I can ask of myself.

How has the romance industry changed from when you first started writing, and which of these changes were you happiest/unhappiest with?

The industry has finally expanded in paranormal. That means lots of publishers are buying paranormal that weren’t before and that I can write what I love.

In this day and age, do you think it’s possible for new romance writers to make it without having some kind of presence on the internet?

I could argue that one either way. I really don’t know.

In your vast experience, what would you say was the most effective method of marketing a romance novel?

First the book had to be great. Then the publisher has to give it a terrific cover, buy placement in the stores and finally print enough copies for readers to find the books.

Your books generally have a level of heat that seems to surpass a lot of other Blaze books, is this intentional? (I’m specifically thinking of Bordering On Obsession, which I loved by the way.)

I like hot. And my new book, Beyond The Edge is the first Extreme Blaze. In addition, my Tor books are also hot and spicy. While I really like hot sex, I also like good plots and characters. I want my books to be good—even if all the sex is taken out.

Have you ever thought of writing erotic romance?

Yes. I was even offered a contract but turned it down. At the time, the offer was as lucrative as other genres.

Which of your books is dearest to your heart, and why?

That would be The Challenge, because it was the first book I wrote and the 38th published. I waited ten years to see it in print. And I love the characters—two alpha people. Stubborn, brave and fiercely at odds with one another. And the sex—oh my—the sex is way out there.

I’ve always wondered about this, but as an author, once your books are published, do you actually go back and read them yourself, and if so, are you able to enjoy them, or do you perhaps see things that make you want to chew your own arm off in frustration?

I don’t go back and read them. I’d rather not see all the errors.

Has anything a reviewer or reader said or written about you changed the way you write?

No. I have to write to please myself. Case in point—on one of my books one reviewer said there was no characterization, the next reviewer loved the characters. I prefer to believe the second reviewer. And the first—I obviously didn’t match her taste. She wanted more backstory, I like more in the moment action and dialogue. As a writer I can’t please everyone—it’s impossible. So I write what I would like to read.

Earlier this year, RWA attempted to try to define romance, and it caused a bit of a furore round the blogosphere, due to the limitations of the definitions. What were your thoughts on this at the time, and do you think it’s possible/necessary to define romance in a way that doesn’t exclude other sub-genres?

I don’t see why we need a definition.

When was the last time you went overseas and where did you go?

Last time was to England, France, Spain and Italy for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. We took a cruise and had lots of fun.

Who are your favourite romance hero and heroine of all time?

That would be Tessa and Kahn, characters in The Challenge.

What kind of characters would you say you typically wrote?

Intelligent ones. I like characters that make good decisions. For example, in The Ultimatum, my Feb. 06 release, the characters are ancient enemies. Both have lost family members in a war—but because they are intelligent, they may not trust one another, but they don’t hold the other personally responsible for the loss of lives.

If only one person could read your book, who would that be? (as in the person who you would want most to read your book)

My mom. She always loves them!!

If you had to pick, who would you say has been most influential within the romance genre?

Without a doubt, Nora Roberts. She’s written straight romance, science fiction/mystery romance, suspense, paranormal and she’s highly prolific and successful. I believe her mainstream success in paranormal has helped open up the market for others

What was the last movie you saw?

Serenity and it was great.

Name your top five favourite romantic films.

Films really don’t stick out in my mind like books do. Sorry.

What was the last book you read?

Lisa Jackson’s Deep Freeze

Have you ever written a book that you didn’t particularly care for, and do you cringe if you see people picking it up to read it?

Of course there are books I don’t like. But we all have different tastes. I don’t believe mine are right and other people’s are wrong. Just because we like different things, doesn’t bother me.

What do you enjoy most about being a writer?

The freedom to work when I want, dressed how I like.

What do you least enjoy about being a writer?

Being under deadlines when I’d rather play.

As you’ve been there, done it, and have the badge to prove it, what is the number one advice that would you give to aspiring writers out there?

Be persistent.

Finally, when’s your next book due out, and what’s it about?

The Ultimatum
Market Paperback
ISBN: 0765354489
Publisher: Tor Romance
Pub. Date: February 2006

Dr. Alara Calladar needs a man…
….but she sure as krek doesn’t want one.
If Alara doesn’t make love soon, her cells will fail to regenerate and she’ll die. Unfortunately, her only option is an enemy—Rystani starpilot Xander, her abductor…and a member of the race who has been battling hers since the beginning of time.
Insufferable smug, Xander issues an ultimatum: He’ll make love to Alara only if she will use her psi-talent of identifying DNA to help him find the cure for the deadly Terran virus spreading across the galaxy.

Alara is trapped. She gives Xander what he wants—and gets what she needs. But Alara holds a pair of secrets: the more they make love, until the only person she can make love with is him—and the more time they spend together, the more Alara likes Xander.
When it seems that all the forces in the universe have aligned against them, can Alara trust Xander with her life…and her heart?

Read and excerpt
Order from: Barnes and Noble

Sounds great Susan! Thanks so much for taking the time out to answer my questions!

That’s it for now guys, next week’s author will be Lisa Valdez!

Ciao for now!

“In its function, the power to punish is not essentially different from that of curing or educating.” Michel Foucault

I was reading about the David Ludwig and Kara Beth Borden case, and I couldn’t help but wish that some of the methods of discipline that used be popular in the olden days, would be brought back.

Corporal punishment in school should make a return. Teachers should be given the rights once again to punish children properly, who misbehave or bully other kids. One day they may be pulling Mary-Sue’s hair, the next thing you know, they’ll be shooting Mary-Sue’s parents because they pissed him off.

My town’s hardly a sprawling metropolis, but even here, schoolground atrocities are becoming more and more prevalent. Recently, a little boy was stabbed in the head with a fork, by a girl in his class.

How does that happen?

When I was about nine years old, my best friend stole a bike from a neighbouring village, and because I was with her at the time, a policeman came to my parents house to let them know that I’d been seen with Becky and the bike earlier that day.

My father looked at me, and calmly told me to go outside, and choose my own birch. I knew what that meant.

Yes, he beat me with a stick that day, and I imagine that all the social-worker types out there would have been baying for his blood, but the fact is, I never forgot that punishment, and even though I hadn’t actually stolen the bike myself, I sure knew that a life of crime wasn’t for me.

On the other hand, my friend’s parents grounded her for a week, but she actually only stayed at home for one day, before she was let out again. When she came round to my house, my parents told her not to come around anymore.

I was heartbroken at the time, but I really appreciate their actions at that time now. I know that Becky has been in and out of trouble with the police since then, for a whole host of misdemeanours, such as robbery, assault, and drug-associated crimes.

The last I heard, she’d had three children to different men, and all of them had been taken into foster care.

I can’t help but think that a little discipline from her parents, would have gone a long way in helping her stay on the straight and narrow.

I know all the arguments against corporal punishment, and honestly, I don’t give a shit. The fact is, when corporal punishment was allowed in the classroom and at home, how many kids went out and killed other kids? Not as much as these days, I would wager.

I know it’ll never happen, due to the ridiculous amount of yogurt-knitting, tree-hugging vegetarians out there.

The fact is, in the world we live in today, there is a total lack of respect from kids, and something needs to be done about it, or pretty soon, the world will have far more people like Charles Manson than Mother Theresa polluting our already fucked up world.

“If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale

On the arrival of your brand new baby boy, Nigel Rowan!! May he make your days much brighter, and bring you nights filled with peace and serenity…

Last night, we watched The Wedding Date, starring Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney.

I loved it. It was a total chick flick of course, but as a lover of all things romantic, it was right up my alley.

Basically, Kat (Deborah Messing) is anxious about attending her sister’s wedding (in London) because her ex-fiance, who dumped her after stringing her along for seven years, is going to be there. He’s the best man.

So Kat does what every single gal who wants her ex to feel very sorry for dumping her, would do. She hires a male escort to attend the wedding with her, as her date.

Debra Messing’s character was pretty much a reincarnation of Grace Adler from Will and Grace, but it’s a part that she plays well, so I don’t have a problem with her doing the Jennifer-Aniston-plays-Rachel-Green-from-Friends in-every-movie thing. Really.

The movie was pretty funny, and the most hilarious part had to be when Grace…. err, Kat, is trying to seduce Nick on her Dad’s boat after a drunken night out at her sister’s Bachelorette party. Take my word for it, you have to watch it, to appreciate it.

My favourite thing about this film was the hero, Nick. He was to die for. I didn’t think he was particularly good looking when we first see him, but I found that he got much better looking as the film went along.

I think that Dermot Mulroney played the part of Nick perfectly. He was charismatic and charming, somewhat broody, but in a really good, take-me-now-I’m-yours kinda way. He wasn’t arrogant, and he had a hot body. What more could you ask for in a hero? Happy sigh.

My favourite line in the film was the part where Grace… err Kat, says to Nick “I’ve been spilling my guts all weekend and I don’t know anything about you.”

Nick then replies:

“I’m allergic to fabric softener, and I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies and I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met.”

I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met… What an utterly romantic line, and delivered perfectly too. Ranks right up there with when Johnny Castle says to Frances Houseman, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”. Happy sigh.

So, is there a particular line from a film, or book, past or present, that was particularly memorable for you?

Manchester United Legend 1963-1974

May you finally find the peace that eluded you for so long…

UPDATE
Just heard that Karate Kid actor, Pat Morita, (Mr Miyagi) has died. He was 73 years old. I still remember him being in Happy Days. May he rest in peace.

So, I finally got round to reading Thea Devine’s Sensation.

Have you ever read a book that when you got to the end, you were no wiser as to what the book had actually been about? No? Well, let me introduce you to Sensation.

Without further ado, here’s the blurb, done in my lazy-assed KarenS stylie way.

Girl Annoying F*cking Whore (an American Debutante) is desperate to lose her virginity because she doesn’t want to marry the English viscount that her Daddy has chosen for her. She’s hoping that he will not make her marry Viscount Pigman once he finds out that her cherry has been popped.

So, like any other self-respecting slut-ho virgin, Girl Annoying F*cking Whore goes to a bordello in London, looking for a man to pierce her plums.

It is here that she meets our hero, Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake.

Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake has just spent the past twenty-four hours having sex with the employees of the illustrious Bullhead Manor whorehouse, in an effort to rid himself of the pain of losing the love of his life to his brother. Somehow he manages to secrete shitloads of semen without gaining full satisfaction.

That is, until Girl Annoying F*cking Whore, enters the sex-submerged room, and orders him to deflower her posthaste. For some reason, Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake decides to become a gentleman, and refuses to take her virginity, telling her, that her maidenhead is her most precious commodity, and how dare she willfully throw it away on a stranger. (WTF?)

At this point, I admit to wondering why he gave a shit. He’d just spent the last few hours poking various pussies and erupting like a volcano in several orifices. What difference would one more have made?

Anyway, Girl Annoying F*cking Whore eventually persuades him to thrust into her throbbing womanhood, and just like that, she gets rid of her precious maidenhead.

After the dirty deed is done, (and I mean dirty. Hairy thick bush included and everything) the pair go their separate ways.

Girl Annoying F*cking Whore returns home to find her father gleefully making plans for her imminent betrothal to Viscount Pigman, and she smugly informs him that she can’t possibly marry Pigman, because she is no longer a virgin.

As you would imagine, Adoring Papa, goes ballistic and demands to know who it was who “pierced, pricked and pummelled” her.

She of course refuses to enlighten him, so Adoring Papa almost has an apopolectic fit, and instead of telling her that the wedding is off, he promises that she will marry Pigman, the only difference being that she would no longer receive any money from him, and she was to remain chained up in her room until the wedding.

Girl Annoying F*cking Whore can’t believe the turn of events, so she decides to turn psycho, and lashes out at her Adoring Papa.

Her fury makes no difference to him, he still ends up chaining her to the bed. Fatherly love at it’s best.

Meanwhile, Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake is tasked with investigating the murder of an up and coming politician, who although is dead, seems to wield more power and influence than when he was alive.

To the locals Young But Dead Politician was a demagogue, and wherever Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake goes, he seems to hear the same reverential tones accorded to this inexplicably iconic figure.

The whole city is in deep mourning over the loss of Young But Dead Politician, and Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake can’t fathom out why.

There has been talk of a secret society, and Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake knows that in order to unlock the circumstances of Young But Dead Politician’s death, he must infiltrate this society somehow. Yawn.

Shortly after the death of Young But Dead, his followers decide to go on a pilgrimage to his apartment (don’t ask, cuz I have no idea why) and Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake decides to go along in the hopes of finding out more about Young But Dead Politician.

Whilst he is there, he spots a familiar face. Girl Annoying F*cking Whore. She is with Adoring Papa, and Viscount Pigman, and Boy notices that she is closely guarded by the two gentleman with her.

Girl manages to mouth the words, ‘help’, to him, which obviously leaves him puzzled (because he’s too stupid to come to the right conclusions on his own), but he decides that investigating Young But Dead is far more worthwhile a project, than getting involved in Girl’s domestic affairs, and leaves her to her fate for the time being.

It is whilst he is searching for clues that a stranger comes up to him and in hushed tones tells him to look out for sevens. (I didn’t get it either) and that the Bullhead Manor was the key. (Don’t strain yourself trying to figure that out.)

Anyway to cut this short, cuz I’m getting annoyed, Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake and Girl Annoying F*cking Whore eventually get together when Girl escapes from Adoring Papa and Pigman.

Boy Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake decides that the only way to keep Adoring Papa and Pigman off Girl Annoying F*cking Whore’s back, is to marry her himself, which he does (at least I think he did anyway, because by this time, my brain had turned to mush.)

Oh shit, I forgot to mention the whole mystery angle. Erm…, it was solved eventually, with the villain of the piece being the last person you’d have suspected (OK that’s not exactly true, but wtf do you expect?)

My Verdict

Jesus. Effing. Christ.

The use of the word ‘seven’ (even though it was supposed to be integral to the plot) really got on my tits. When the mystery was solved, I still didn’t get why it had been so important in the first place. I guess it was symbolistic and lent itself to the smokes and mirrors effect that Ms Devine was obviously aiming for. Here’s an example of some of the paragraphs that I had to live through:

“Sevens everywhere. Maybe that was important. Maybe he was missing something. How many sevens. The whore, tracing circles and lines on his chest, whispering seven. The Sacred Seven. Venable’s address – Seven Park Lane; the number of letters in his name and in Angilee’s – seven; the Seven Cups Tavern; the park of the Seven Sisters…”

Devine also seemed to be fond of disjointed sentences, the book was full of them. One word sentences that made no sense, incomplete sentences that were probably meant to add to the overall feel of the book, but somehow left the reader feeling even more confused.

Here’s an example:

“Nothing was too extreme to be considered.
… a number, a slash, a fishhook…
Wait – where had he heard those words…?
…fishhook…
-mark that down-
Mark?
No, death mark-
I live
Check
Right – check-upside down-seven…
Where? Where? He grasped for the memory – checks…
No checks, only sevens
He was right at the edge, teetering with the certain knowledge that-
The Sevens were playing with him…
And then he fell- deep asleep…”

I read the above sentences in context, and I still didn’t understand what the hell was going on. Sigh.

See for yourself:

Mrrrrrww. Emily again, pacing into the dining room. I will take care of her.
Rrrrroww. Emily, emphatically. I’ll watch over her.

See? I just didn’t get it. At one point, I felt as if I was reading Dr f*cking Dolittle for Oprah’s sake. Sigh.

And talk about purple prose. This book was one big FAT purple prose. Here’s yet another delightful example:

“And then he lusted to come, to pour his cream all over her luscious body. He wanted to rub it into her skin, her breasts, her slit: he wanted to taste her and lick her, and burrow his tongue into the chocolate between her legs”

Aaaaarggghhhhh!!!

Would I recommend it? Whatever.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU GUYS OVER THE POND!!

So that I too can experience the joys of thanksgiving, I give (conditional) thanks for the following:

For The Tall Guy, as long as he leaves the toilet lid down, if he doesn’t then all bets are off.

And lastly, for being me, because I’m so utterly fabulous darlings! (grin)

How do you guys feel about epilogues in books? Me personally, I love ‘em, especially the ones that are done well. I like being left with the warm cosy feeling, that only a truly happy ending can give you.

Linda Howard writes some cracking epilogues. She’s the queen of the world anyway when it comes to writing, but I just love the way she lets you peek into the future of her heroes and heroines.

I have noticed though, that when she writes for MIRA, and those other formulaic-prone publishers, her endings aren’t as tight, and sometimes they actually feel rushed.

I’m always left with the feeling that the author has over-run on her word count, and has to come up with something snappy to finish off with, which, more often than not, leaves me, the reader, feeling cheated.

So, do you guys like ‘em, or loathe ‘em?

BTW, does Linda Howard have a website or what? If she does, I haven’t been able to find it yet, Godammit!