My brother’s getting married tomorrow! Whoopee!
So that you don’t miss me too much, I’m going to leave you with an interesting pic. WARNING, THERE IS NUDITY THUS NOT SUITABLE FOR UNDER 18′S OR THE EASILY OFFENDED!
Why?
I was hoping this was photoshopped, but I’m not so sure.
Don’t bother reading on if you’re easily offended, because you probably will be. Offended that is.
I’ve decided that I’m not overly fond of the term ‘eating out’.
No, I don’t mean, as in going to a restaurant. Indeed, I am actually talking about the sexual act.
The Tall Guy and I discussed this last night, and he disagrees with me. He kinda likes it. The perve.
I’ve always suspected that ‘eating out’ is a term that a man must have invented. Every time I read it in a book, it kinda takes me out of the story, and I find that I end up squeezing my legs together, and not in a good way either.
I think my problem with its usage, is that it reminds me too much of how The Tall Guy some men like to spend hours down there, kinda like they’re having a five course meal. Some days a gal only wants a starter, especially when she already went ahead and had the main course. Know what I mean?
I told TTG that I thought it was quite a vulgar term, even for me. His answer was that it beat using ‘muff diving’, or ‘minge-eating’.
Who says romance is dead?
I went to the hairdresser’s today, and because I knew I’d be there a while, I took a book with me. Anyway, there was a girl probably in her early twenties, sitting next to me, browsing through a hair and beauty magazine. I think she was getting her roots done. They certainly needed doing anyway.
I felt her burning stare, so I looked in the mirror and asked her if there was a problem.
I think I took her by surprise, but she gamefully asked me what I was reading. So I tell her. Linda Howards’s Dream Man.
Her name was Sandra. This was how our conversation went: (more or less)
S: What’s it about?
K: It’s a romance book
S: It doesn’t look like a romance book
K: It is
S: What’s it about?
K: A woman who has psychic visions of murders being commited
S: Doesn’t sound like a romance to me:
K: It is
S: Is there any sex?
K: Some
S: How much sex?
K: Enough
S:Still doesn’t sound like a romance to me
K: Ever read a romance book?
S: Silence
K: Well?
S: No
K: *Rolls eyes*
S: I thought romance books always had couples kissing on the cover
K: Not always
S: Barbara Cartland’s does
K: She’s dead
S: Silence
K: Silence
S: There’s usually lots of sex in ‘those’ kind of books isn’t there?
K: *Mentally runs S over with a garbage truck*
K: Silence
S: Don’t you get embarrassed reading them in public?
K: No
S: Really?
K: Really
S: Silence
K: So what do you like to read then?
S: Dan Brown
K: *Rolls eyes*
S: The Da Vinci Code was out of this world
K: So I hear
S: You don’t look like a romance reader
K: Oh?
S: You’re not old or anything
K: *Stupefied silence*
S: Can you recommend any good ones?
K: Yeah
S: Nothing with lots of sex though
K: *Evil grin*
K: Sensation, by Thea Devine. You’ll love it.
Yes, I know, I should have recommended a really good book, in order to promote the genre, but for fucks sake, she interrupted me when I was on a really good bit. I swear, I read the same page about ten effing times. Sigh.
The moral of the story? You meet ignorant twats everywhere.
This week’s popular search phrases:
Sperm+fart - Hmmm…
Karens hole.com – Maybe it’s the name of a pub…
Karen love kate – The people who put this in as a search phrase always find my review of Kate Rothwell’s book *g*
Jehovah’s witnesses and chronicles of Narnia – What’s one got to do with the other?
Girl’s blog on giving brother a blowjob – Sick bastard, I bet this is a guy.
How many really swallow cum? – Erm, I have no idea…
Karen Scott married name – What?
Guys who want to meet to suck cock in S California – Interesting, George Michael anybody?
Karen fucks kate – No I didn’t. Seriously.
Ejaculating in a woman’s face – another popular one
Swallowing too much cum – Erm….
What does bukaki mean? – I’m still not sure about this one, I thought I knew what it was, but apparently not.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Dominant, Submissive – I wonder who the dominant one is *g*
Do women really like the taste of sperm? – One more for the road!
Not bad for an eighty year old eh? (Photograph by Lord Snowdon)
The Changing face of the Queen
She was 80 years old on Friday. She still looks pretty good, although I suspect she would look better if she smiled more.
I often wonder if she ever feels trapped in her life. I would if I was her. Fancy being married to that horse’s arse, Prince Phillip, and having at least two sons who are mad as ten badgers.
I sincerely hope Charles doesn’t become king. I may have gotten over the fact that he’s an unfaithful rat, who talks to plants, but envisaging Her Royal Horseness, Camilla, at his side as queen, is enough to make me lose my breakfast.
I’m not sure what my feelings are about the monarchy as a whole. Sometimes I think they are a burden this country can ill afford, but then I always get the argument that they’re good for tourism.
I wonder though, do people come here just to see the royal family? They are a tourist attraction, certainly, but to what extent are they important to our tourism industry?
What do you guys think of the British royal family?
AngieW is looking for people to review e-books published by Samhain Publishing, as a way of generating interest. Why not pop over and volunteer? There are free books involved if you’re lucky enough to get chosen!
By the way, no gushing reviews unless the book deserves it!
Hmmm… So maybe I wont leave him just yet then.
Well, I’ve just come across the most fucking disgraceful thing ever.
Apparently, in order for Millennia Black’s next book to be published, she has to change her white characters to black. Why? Because she’s black, and the publisher wants her stuck in AA fiction ghetto hell.
Her first novel, The Great Pretender featured black characters, and so, she’s now been neatly labelled, thus no-colour swapping allowed. What. The. FUCK?
How the frigging hell does this happen in this day and age?
To the editor or indeed publisher who thought this was a smart move, YOU RACIST TWATS ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORONIC ARSEHOLES!
Millennia, they fucked you over on your first book, and now this? Seriously, you need to find a more enlightened publisher.
Ok, I’m done.
You know, if there’s anything guaranteed to piss me off, it’s romance readers who get all hoity-toity about the use of profanity in romance books.
A reader at the All About Romance Yahoo Group, recently wrote:
This obviously annoyed the hell out of me, so I had to throw my tuppence in. What? Did you really expect me to do any less? *g*
My reply to her comments were:
What about plot devices that involve military men and women? Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know that the F’ word is used frequently amongst soldiers, cops, detectives etc.
As for not understanding why a woman who hasn’t grown up with men who swear would marry one, I suggest you take a look at the different types of people who get married everyday, all over the world. Dare I suggest that the other reason for marrying a man who swears, even if you don’t would be for love? Just an idea.
If you’re reading lots of books with profanity in them, may I suggest that you change to sweet historicals, or even Mills and Boon Tender romances. I believe they’re devoid of excessive swearing. In real life, people swear. That’s just the way it is.
Now, I guess the question of how much swearing is too much, is totally subjective, but seriously, how many people have grown up without hearing the odd swear word here and there?
God knows, I don’t expect a girl who was brought up in a convent to use words like twat and cunt, but by the same token I certainly don’t expect an army ranger to substitute the good old F word for something as inane as ‘oh fudge’.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating the use of the F word in every other sentence, (seriously) because that would just be overkill, but for instance, in a situation where the hero, (in a romantic suspense) has just been shot in the arm by a perp who’s trying to kill him, I certainly wouldn’t’t expect him to say “ Oh dear, I’ve been shot”. Would you? Seriously?
I obviously don’t mind swear words in books at all, but they do have to be used in context, and they should gel with the character who’s using them. In other words I don’t expect to read about a little old lady screaming “Drop it mother-fucker!” at the top of her voice. I suspect that that wouldn’t really work.
Most of us are grown-ups, we know the score when it comes to swear words. Some of us swear like sailors, others only cuss in highly stressful situations, whilst there are some people who just wont use profanities at all.
Regardless of your own personal stance on this subject, I would assume that anybody reading romance books wouldn’t be so naïve as to think that swear words have no place in them. That just doesn’t make sense.
Are there really people out there who think it’s ok to use sexual words like cock and pussy, but get offended by the use of the F word?
The F word has been around since the 15th century, and I dare say it will be around as long as man-kind still has the propensity to get annoyed.
What say you?
Posted by Karen Scott · 