So, I finished reading Betting Hearts last night.

Without further ado, here’s the blurb

When Cassandra Bishop’s ex-fiance shows up with the prerequisite, blonde haired, big boobed bimbo in tow, and announces that he’s getting married, she’s absolutely gobsmacked. Not because she’s still in love with him, but because, he broke their engagement a year ago, after telling her that he was gay.

Things go from bad to worse, when Bastard Ex-Fiance tells Cassandra, that the real reason he broke up with her was because she wasn’t woman enough for him. The swine!

Cassandra being the fiery tempered broad that she is, decides to rearrange his well-placed nose.

Devastated by this revelation, Cassie gets drunk as a skunk, and ends up at her best friend, Burke Halifax’s house at stupid o’clock. A ritual which Burke has long become familiar with.

For the past twenty-two years, Burke Halifax has made it his life’s ambition to make sure that nobody hurts Cassie. She’s the best friend he’s got, and he’ll be damned if a snivelling little fuckwit like Bastard Ex Fiance is gonna hurt his friend.

Things start to get out of hand when BEF issues a wedding invitation to Cassie, out of spite.

Burke foolishly bets Cassie’s prized car that she’ll be the hottest woman at Bastard Ex-Fiance and Big Boobed Bimbo’s wedding. Cassie herself is determined to prove that she is woman enough for any man, least of all BEF, and thus the make-over of one Cassandra Bishop begins, with a few mishaps along the way, to keep things interesting.

Will Burke and Cassie finally work out that they float each other’s boat, or will they keep looking for love in all the wrong places?

My Verdict

I. Loved. This. Book.

I don’t ask for a lot in romance. Seriously, I don’t. I don’t give a fuck about dangling participles, definite articles or prepositions. I’ll leave those worries to editors. As long as the book is written in plain common-sense English, I’m happy. I want good characterization, an interesting plotline, and a writing ‘voice’ that doesn’t compel me to hang myself from the nearest lampost.

This book met all my requirements, and so much more besides.

Betting Hearts was an extremely well written book. I loved the dialogue between the hero and heroine. I loved that Tenorio had put a different spin, on a much re-hashed plot device, and she also had some cracking characters.

It’s been absolutely ages since I laughed so much I nearly wet myself, (not literally of course because I do actually have excellent control of my bladder) but Betting Hearts had me laughing from the first paragraph, to the last.

Tenorio’s voice appealed to me because she kept it simple. She didn’t try to wear her brains in her book, as so many authors try to do, and she had the ability to let me (the reader) come to my own conclusions, rather than insulting my intelligence, and explaining everything from the thread to the needle. She was able to draw me in from the very beginning, and kept me reading until 3am in the morning. It’s been a while since I loved a book that much, I can tell you.

I loved the two central characters in this book.

Cassandra Bishop was a woman who I could be friends with if she’d been a real person. She was laugh out loud funny, and regardless of her bad choices when it came to the BEF, she was actually a woman in control of her own life.

Although she was a tomboy at heart, I could relate to her. She wasn’t a Mary Sue-Goody-Two-Shoes type heroine, far from it in fact. She could be very manipulative, especially when it came to pushing Burke’s buttons. She also had a wicked temper, but she was very funny, and hugely endearing.
I loved the fact that when she realised that Burke was the man for her, she didn’t waste any time pontificating, and instead, just went for it. My kind of heroine.

Burke Halifax was also my ideal hero. Rough around the edges, but loyal as hell. I’m partial to male leads who make me envious of their heroines. He was manly, without being an asshole. His obvious feelings for Cassie was one of the most attractive things about him. I loved his reaction to discovering that his best friend had breasts, and the guilt he harboured over his new, lewd, and lascivious thoughts about her.

Cassie’s friendship meant a lot to Burke, and this is something that Tenorio managed to convey brilliantly within the opening pages of this story. It’s not often I go all girly over a book, but I did find myself tilting my head to the side, placing both hands on my cheeks, and sighing in appreciation at Tenorio’s ability to mentally and emotionally, take me along Cassie and Burke’s tentative voyage into previously uncharted territory.

The secondary characters in this book included, Cassie’s brother, Hayne, who was sweet, if a little dumb, Bastard Ex Fiance’s new fiancee, Sally, and Cassie’s father. They all had their part to play, without taking anything away from the central characters. I do hate it when authors present you with so many secondary personalities that you forget who the main squeeze’s are.

What I loved most about Betting Hearts was how romantic it actually was. I know that this should be a given in a fictional romance story, but I’ve read a fair few books in the past, which although were romance books, were actually not very romantic. I know that you guys will know exactly what I mean.

My one and only complaint about Betting Hearts, was the feeling that the ending had been slightly rushed, in an attempt to meet the deadline and the word count, but fuck it, I’m not even gonna go there, because I was still able to totally look beyond that, and enjoy the story.

I’ve always loved the friends to lovers theme, when written well, and Dee Tenorio certainly did herself justice with this book

Well Dee, I had no idea who you were, before I read your book, but if you keep writing stories as good as Betting Hearts, then I’m gonna keep buying. Unless of course you do an Elizabeth Bevarly. Then all bets are off. *g*

*Karen selflessly steals Hawaiian Surprise ice-cream back from Dee, in an attempt to save her from expanding hips*

PS, the cover sucks Big Fucking Hairy Rhinoceros Balls.

You can visit Dee Tenorio here, and buy Betting Hearts here.

I was truly only expecting a couple of books, so to receive this many was a real treat! I still think you’re as nutty as a fruitcake, but I really appreciate you keeping your word, and sending me the goodies!

Anybody else want to send me freebies, you’re quite welcomed to do so. My goodwill is easily won, and bribery and corruption doesn’t bother me one bit. *g*

Friends-to-lovers stories are my fave plot device. So I’m looking forward to this book.

I don’t particularly like this cover, it feels sterile somehow, the premise calls for something softer methinks. Let’s hope it’s not a reflection of the book. Dee, I’ll be posting the review tomorrow, hopefully. In the mean time, you may want to get some ice-cream in…. you know… just in case things don’t go well *g*

You can read the blurb here.

I’ve always thought that the name of this blog was fairly self-explanatory. I could have chosen a much funkier name when I started blogging. You know, something like, My So Called Life, or Hell Hath No Fury, that kind of shite.

But I didn’t. I chose a name that would indicate the kind of blog this is. Somehow, people still seem to get confused. Go figure.

I have an opinion on absolutely everything, and I’m not afraid to say what I think, this generally means that people know where they stand with me. Some people think I suck great big donkey balls, some people think I’m ok. That’s just life.

My love for romance books doesn’t necessarily extend to the authors of romance books. If you’re an author, and you act like a dick, I will vote with my money. I find it hard to read books by authors who have annoyed me in the past. Some people can look beyond an author’s online personality. I can’t. End of.

People will sometimes not agree with my viewpoints, I get that, and to some extent, I welcome differing opinions, but you need to know that if you come on here to diss the blog, don’t bother, because invariably, you wont like what I have to say to you.

If you’re an author, and I snark about one of your book covers, please don’t tell me that my opinion is wrong, and certainly don’t bother telling me that it’s hurtful to diss, because the artist sweated blood and tears trying to make it perfect. I really don’t give a flying scrotum.

I’m not afraid to tell people to fuck off, if I think they deserve it. It rarely ever comes to that, but I thought it was important to highlight this point.

I rarely involve myself in fights on other people’s blog. I’m much more likely to bring any issues to my own blog, rather than bleeding all over somebody else’s. That’s just bad form.

I’m not a professional reviewer, this is something that I do for fun. My negative reviews aren’t written with the sole purpose of pissing authors off, I’m far too busy for that shit.

If I review your book, and I’m really mean about it, either say nothing, or do a Daisy, because otherwise you’ll just come off looking like a twat.

If I spend my hard earned money on a book, and it’s crap, I’m entitled to say so, and no, I don’t have to be mindful of the feelings of the author, because guess what, I still paid for the bloody thing. Also remember, it’s just one opinion, and means very little in the great scheme of things.

If you’re not familiar with my blog and you surf in because somebody else gave you my URL, you need to check yourself before you come waving your shitty stick at me. I‘m likely to highlight your actions, and give you the type of headache that you could well do without. It doesn’t take much to become the subject of one of my blog posts.

I’m not in the habit of apologising for other people’s misconceptions. If you feel that I’ve dissed you in some way, and you want to discuss it, I suggest that you e-mail me privately. I promise, it wont become a blog topic, unless you give your express permission for me to make it public.

If you post a comment and I don’t respond, don’t take it personally, I’m a fairly lazy blogger. It’s not you. I promise.

Finally, if you really hate me, and you hate my blog, I suggest that you visit other blogs. There are plenty to choose from.

England 1 - 0 Ecuador!!

Woo hoo!!! We’re through to the quarter finals!! Well done Beckham!!

Bring on Portugal!!!

England 2-2 Sweden!!

Well, we won the group, even if it was in unconvincing fashion. Sven got the usual shit from the press, although, this time it was kind of justified.

Michael Owen went off injured within the first minute of the game, and the poor sod wont be taking part in the rest of the world cup, due to a torn ligament. Poor bastard.

Beckham went MIA during the game, he’s been on fire lately, but for some reason he totally failed to show up on Tuesday. Sven really should have subbed him in favour of Aaron Lennon, at least he’s able to run past defenders.

Oh well, we still won the group, and Ecuador is next up. Please God let us at least pretend we’re a football team on Sunday!

Jaynie, did you watch the Aussie match yesterday? I’m ashamed to say that the ref, Graham Poll was an English guy. The funny thing is, when I heard that he was going to be one of the refs this year, my first thought was, oh fuck. Having watched him week in, week out in the Premiership, I knew the game was doomed before it even started. Fancy leaving a player on after awarding him two yellow cards. Pillock.

The Aussies, played amazingly well, and I was routing for them all the way, so well done for qualifying through to the knock-out stages!

As for the Americans, where did it all go wrong? Team USA were completely outplayed by Ghana, but for neutrals like myself, it was a pretty good game to watch. Oh well, maybe 2010 will prove to be a better year for them. Sorry boys.

My money is on Spain to lift the World Cup this year, I think it’s too obvious to go for the Brazilians or the Argentines. England could win it, but only if we learn to defend set pieces, and do better with penalties. I told Gamblog that I’d run down my street naked if England won the World Cup.

Methinks that my clothes will be firmly staying on, if our recent performances are anything to go by. Sigh.

If you’re an author, and you feel the need to ask me to review your book, please think about it before you do. In fact, my advice to you would be to think about it at least three times, before you send me the e-mail request.

Just because you sent me the book free doesn’t mean that I’m going to be nice about the baby that you spent months trying to deliver. If I like it, I’ll shout it from the rooftops, but equally, if I hate it, then please be prepared for your baby to be stomped on, and decimated on a public forum.

Of course there are nice ways to say that I didn’t like your book, but here’s the thing: I’m just not that type of blogger.

You have been warned.

It never fails to astonish me how quickly authors who feel that they’ve been slighted, wade in with their size 7’s in an effort to bitchslap a reader who dares to say what they feel.

In the post below, Shelby Morgen wrote this: (And no Shelby/Margaret, no permission needed because you posted it on my blog)

I’m Margaret Riley, AKA Shelby Morgen, owner and publisher of Changeling Press. I’ll admit to being more than a little ticked off at the cover art rant.

Of course Coffee Man looks like a cartoon. Did you pay ANY attention to the genre? It’s under Comic Book Heroes. It’s SUPPOSED to look like a cartoon. As for Kiss, it’s supposed to look like a fairy tail storybook. Because it is.

Of course the cover art is computer generated. The only other options available to small presses are stock photography — care to see your cover on 6 other books? NO thank you. And since we’re primarily Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Paranormal, all you’d get is head shots that have no relevance to the books whatsoever. Individual hand done art work at $2000 to $3000 a cover is simply not an option in our market. You don’t see it in New York any more, either. Most of what’s coming out of New York is either stock photography or CGI. Without CGI we’d still have sets for movies with space ships made out of Frisbees hung on a string.

Changeling is a community of authors and writers working together to produce a product. It’s never OK to insult people, and when you insult their work, they take it personally. When you insult our product, I take it personally.

I read this, this morning, scratched my head for a while, and then I suddenly realised that my throwaway post from yesterday had caused all this hullaboo. All of a sudden, a rant that I’d read on a blog yesterday, naming no names, made more sense. Without the blogger saying so, it was a reaction to the post below. Sigh.

Anyway, Shelby Morgen went on to add:

“Please note that all Changeling cover art is property of Changeling Press and copyright and may not be used or reprinted without my permission.”

So for the first time in my blogging history, I’ve had to remove some books covers from my site. I could ask for permission, but I guess you know that’s not gonna happen.

The post below was actually a public service blog, and the main intention was to let people know that Changeling Press hadn’t actually closed down. I guess that bit got totally bypassed. It happens.

The snarking on the covers was just that, snarking. I think the covers below are sucky, regardless of whose sensitive little soul I destroy. It always amuses me when writers get all in my face about what really amounts to just one person’s opinion.

Seven Wolves wrote:

“Everytime I see someone write something so inane as “I could do better with my eyes closed” I just have to say this: DO IT AND SHOW US.

I’m waiting.”

Methinks you’ll be waiting a while because I don’t have to prove anything to you or anybody else in blogland my lovely.

The most sensible comment that was expressed, came from Sahara Kelly:

“So in defense of Changeling, I would urge everybody to remember that variety is truly the key to cover art and that although all of them may not be to your taste, others might well find them appealing.”

Exactly. So why did a few of the Changeling Press authors decide to gather on my blog to give me what for? Since when did that tactic ever work in blogland? More to the point, since when did that ever wash with me?

I’m sorry, but if you’re not interested in what I’ve got to say, or if my opinion pisses you off to that extent, I suggest you visit other blogs, (there are many to choose from). I’m not in the habit of curbing my thoughts just because it may bother some people. If any of you have visited my blog more than once, then this is something that you should be aware of already.

Seriously guys, some of you really need to grow thicker skins, yes, we all know that some authors are extremely sensitive when it comes to their work, but if you put it out there, you’re automatically inviting people’s opinions. yes, I could have easily said something PC like “the covers below aren’t to my taste”, but that’s not really me, and if you were a regular visitor to this blog, you’d know that already.

By all means tell me that you disagree with me, it wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m sure it wont be the last. Telling me off for having the nerve to say something negative about your work on my blog, is something else all together.

Especially when I know that the cover snarking thing would have passed by peacefully had my blog not been bombarded by Changeling authors lining up to give me a peace of their mind. Suck it up, and move on, if not, go and read this. She puts her point across far more eloquently than I could right now.

Hunting in packs is just not a good look for Changeling. Especially, when the original post was meant to assist, rather than hinder.

Apparently, there’s been rumours circulating that Changeling Press (erotic fiction publishers) are going under, I didn’t know anything about it, until I received this e-mail:

We’ve had several notifications from readers attempting to order our paperbacks from Borders saying they were told we’re going out of business. News to me. We’ve just officially opened our new office and are ready to start on the next wave of paperbacks. We’re not going anywhere! Obviously I’ll be spending Monday making many interesting phone calls. Sigh. Pray for me that I don’t get arrested for choking someone through the phone lines…

All Wrapped Up is NO harder to get than any of our other books. All any bookstore has to do is order it. From the number of sales, I’d say most bookstores aren’t having ANY problem doing just that.

Margaret Riley
Changeling Press LLC

So there ya go folks, the good folks at Changeling aren’t going anywhere just yet. Erm, so they say anyway.

It’s been a while since I visited the Changeling site, and now I know why. They seriously need to reconsider whoever designs their front covers. They suck great big hairy donkey balls. I could do better with my eyes shut.

Here are some shining examples:

UPDATE: Had to remove covers due to not having permission from Changeling Press - See Shelby Morgen’s comment below.

Seriously, whoever came up with these covers were smoking some hard core wacky baccy. I sure hope they’re not actually getting paid for this shit. Sigh.

USA 1- 1 Italy!!

The American boys should have beaten the Italians, but seeing as they couldn’t keep all their men on the field, it was never gonna happen. But hey, you guys are still in with a chance of qualifying into the next round.

You just have to beat Ghana, and hope that Italy beats the Czech Republic. Simple eh? *g*