I think somebody somewhere is wanting some link lovin. Well I’m too contrary for that shit, so I’ll just shamelessly take the piss out of her for being an attention seeking twat twit, and copy and paste her scribblings on here.

I wouldn’t mind, but she’s not even getting mad over a review of a book she wrote, she’s getting mad over a less than complimentary review of somebody else’s book.

Why would you expend that much energy on somebody else’s behalf? Increased blog traffic maybe? (g)

Anyway, she starts:

I’m still gritting my teeth over two reviews I read recently. I behaved though; I didn’t morph into a blog idjet and stomp my feet and foam at the mouth all over someone else’s blog. Nah – I reserve that pleasure for here. Okay – the cursing spewing from my brain right now is harsh even for here.

OK, she at least had the good grace to warn us, we here at Karen Scott Central love us some good manners.

She then continues with this slightly obvious tirade:

On Bam’s blog, there’s ANOTHER review of Bitch Mountain. Pretty much the same review Bam did but with more NASTY (rhymes with tasty – see blog dictionary) tossed in for flavor. It’s one thing to review a story and say you didn’t care for it and poke some fun at it in a snarky, humorous way.

It’s another to drop your drawers and take a shit all over it. All I could think when I read the review was “you Mean bitch.” I like bitches. Some of my best friends are TOTAL bitches. I enjoy refining my own bitchiness into an art form. That was just pure ugly bitch.

Bam hunny bunny, is she talking about you? How dare she? You’re not ugly at all, you’re hotness personified, and if I was that way inclined, I’d totally do you. Can I set her pubic hair on fire for telling such dastardly untruths? Can I, can I? No? Ok then.

Anyway, she carries on, cuz ya know… she’s reeeeal mad, and she .. ya know… wants us to know how mad she reeeeally is:

AND (oh yeah – we’re not done with this rant) if that wasn’t bad enough, the reviewer made at least two references to how “Surprised” and “OMG!” she couldn’t BELIEVE she liked Darragha’s story. Was that supposed to be a little sugar covering the stink of that review? PUUULLEASE!

She seems to forget that authors clamour for Bam to read their books. They know the score, the problem is, they think that their book is soo good that everybody and his pet mouse are gonna love it. *Sigh* When will these people learn?

I particularly liked this next bit, it made me want to laugh out loud.

Another review that torqued me off because the reviewer was just plain old-fashioned dense was the review of Megan Hart’s “Dirty” which just came out. I’m almost finished reading it now and when I read the review on Dear Author, I was stunned and thought WTF?

Jayne totally trashed the novel. Okay. So she REALLY didn’t like it. Fine. But her comments made me wonder if she had read it or did a speed read skimming. Or has her life been so perfect and without the slightest taint of trauma that she couldn’t comprehend the character’s struggle to overcome the psychological scars she’s carried since childhood.

Dammit Jayne, you’re such a total bitch. How dare you not love, LOVE the freaking book? How dare you! Now go and stand in the corner until you can play nicely with the other fucktards.

Anyway, she goes a little pyschotic, and tries to explain what was so freaking fantabulous about the book that that bitch, Jayne, hated. It went on for a while, so I just kinda skimmed. I have this short excerpt for you to enjoy however:

Megan Hart did a phenomenal job in writing this story and touching on a topic that just isn’t discussed, by those who are broken, those who broke them or those who silently watched and didn’t do a damn thing to help.

Yeah.

You know, I’ve never read a Megan Hart book, but that paragraph alone would have stopped me from ever picking one of her books up. I’m contrary that way.

To top it off, she finished off with this little gem:

Oh, oh! And THEN to top off what was a completely ignorant review, the reviewer takes jabs at another author in the comments portion that had praised the work. Lauren Dane (another author I read EVERYTHING she writes) is a friend of Megan’s and wrote a strong, positive review.

Somehow the fact that they are friends was an issue for the reviewer. So she not only crapped all over Megan’s book, she started crapping on her reviews. Not someone I can take seriously from now on. It must be nice to be so perfect.

Hee hee hee.

You know honey, it really is OK for people not to like the same things. Really, it is. Now get back into that lovely beige-coloured, lace-up jacket before those temperamental people in the white coats come lookin for ya, go on, quickly now. There’s a good girl.

Dontcha just love having your own blog? You can say lots of mean things, and if anybody bitches about it, you can just tell them that it’s your blog and you’ll say what you want to. *Happy sigh*.

Life is good.

How are you doin today? (g)

Whenever I get to a point where I’m sick of romance, I really should read the following paragraphs. They remind me why I love romance books so much. They remind me that words can truly be beautiful, when handled by the right person.

His mouth trailed over her like a benediction. Cheeks, throat, shoulders, then pressed delicately on the slope of her breast to linger where her heart beat.

‘I love you’. His lips formed the words against her breast. ‘I’m lost in love with you’.
Not lost, she thought, and smiled in the dark, even as her pulse thickened. Found. We’re both found.

He cradled his head there a moment – cheek to heart - and closed his eyes until he was sure he had his fiercer emotions in check, until he could be sure his hands would be gentle on her.
He had a searing need to be gentle.

She sighed, soft and sleepy, and was content, he knew, to be wakened like this. No matter what had been done to her, her heart was open for him, and that open heart lifted him beyond anything he’d expected to become.

Lovely, just lovely.

The book and author…?

Oh I love this.

I could just listen to Nora Roberts talking all day. I wasn’t so interested in Eloisa James, but only because I don’t read her. I have to say though, it was interesting to see her hubby.

Courtesy of Sybil and the Dear Ja(y)nes.

Can we say, sucks great big hairy donkey balls?


It’s official. Changeling Press have some of the suckiest covers on the fucking planet. Doesn’t ths half-man, half-lion turn you on? Hubba hubba. Not.


Man-on-man love should not look this bad.

And, I’m not sure what the hell is happening with this slightly anorexic dude. Is it me, or is the hand leaning against the wall, almost non-existent?

Thanks to Katie for sending me the link to the last cover.

Kate and Wills

I realise I haven’t blogged for a couple of days, but I’ve been seriously busy with work commitments.

I finally managed to see all of Kylie Minogue’s concert on Tuesday, with a friend. She very kindly rescheduled her dates for those people who’d only caught an hour of her show a couple of weeks ago. She was faahbulous darlings. The whole show was tres camp.

The next concert will be The Pussycat Dolls. I’m looking forward to seeing them.

I’m still in a reading slump. I went past Borders book shop today, and I wasn’t even tempted to go in. That has to be a first.

My TBR pile is huge, but nothing appeals. I’ve read a couple of Tami Hoag books which were great, but that’s it as far as reading goes.

I was watching a documentary about Kate Middleton’s relationship with the papparazzi, earlier, and I just can’t believe how intense the media pressure is already. Her and Prince William aren’t even engaged yet, and she’s already being hounded by the paps wherever she goes. Bastards. Seriously, why do people want photo’s of her taking the rubbish out?

If I was her I’d ditch William quick smart, and find myself a nice normal billionaire’s son. Who needs the pressure of dating a prince?

What have you guys been up to? Any updates on Venus Press? Have they gone bankrupt yet? How many other authors have left them since the VP stepped down?

Anyway, I’ll try to post a review tomorrow, but I’m not feeling particularly motivated, so I might not get round to it.

We’ll see…

So, does anybody know what’s up at Venus Press? According to my site stats, I’ve had a flurry of people looking for stuff about them. These are some of the searches that have landed people on my blog:

Venus Press rumors

Venus Press going out of business

Venus Press in trouble

Venus Press

With so many Venus Press searches in one week, I knew there must have been something funky going on, and there is. Again.

Apparently the Vice President stepped down, and a further four of their authors have withdrawn their books.

They seem to have a hard time keeping their authors, in fact, I would say they excelled at losing them.

The following statement was posted on Carol Mckenzie’s Xanga site:

I’m sadly announcing today to my readership that I am leaving Venus Press. I’m afraid something is going on there that I cannot explain.

I wish I could give you readers more information. Many, if not most of Venus Press’s authors are leaving. I enjoyed my stay there immensely but I guess it is time to move on.

In a previous post she wrote:

It is my sad duty today to tell all my readers that due to unforseen circumstances, I have left Venus Press. I am not alone unfortunately. Many authors from VP have taken leave. I don’t want to discuss problems in public regarding this publisher.

I read a blog that hinted that the problem may be a communication issue, as in authors not hearing from editors and senior staff for long periods. I’d be nervous too if I kept hearing rumours about the firm I worked for, rumours that weren’t dispelled by editors or senior management. You know that saying about smoke and fire? It’s usually right on.

If anybody knows what’s really going on, please feel free to e-mail me with the gossip. hairylemony @ gmail . com, I promise, I wont tell a soul. *G*

UPDATE:

This e-mail was has just been forwarded to me:

I wanted to let you know that Dominic’s Tempation and A Christmas Threesome are no longer available to purchase at Venus Press.

These two books will make a re-appearence in 2007 or 2008. If you noticed, I wasn’t the only one from Venus Press who decided to pull the books. I bear no ill will towards Venus Press and I do wish them the best in the future.

Thanks to all the readers who have been there for me.

Jade James

The e-mail was preceded by this explanation from the source:

My understanding is that the person who basically ran the business stopped answering emails from everyone—including the owner—back in the fall.

Rumors have been flying since the beginning of the month, but it seems as though she had all that was needed for the operation of the business, since the owner was non-involved in running the company.

No one’s been paid or offered an accounting of sales so authors are claiming breech of contract and pulling their books. Their editors were job hunting

Curiouser and curiouser…

It’s official.

I’m in a reading slump. A romance reading slump.

I picked up five romance titles today, and promptly put them all down, after reading a few pages. One of the books was called Immortal Bad Boys, a Brava anthology.

The first tale was by Rebecca York, whose stories I usually like, but like I said, I got to about ten pages in, and just lost interest.

The same thing happened with the other two stories. I might just take the bloody book back because it cost £9.99 ($18.00), and I do so hate wasting money on crap.

The second book I picked up was Evelyn Vaughn’s A.K.A Goddess, which has been languising in my TBR forever. Same thing happened.

I then tried a Natasha Rostova book, and it bored me stupid within the first three pages.

As with Liz Carlyle’s, Beauty Like The Night. That book has been in my TBR for longer than I can remember, but I’ve always been resistant to reading it. No change there then.

The last book I attempted to read was Tara Janzen’s Crazy Love. I bought this when it first came out, but I decided to leave it on my TBR for a rainy day. I obviously wasn’t in the right frame of mind to appreciate it today, so back to the shelf it went.

I don’t know what’s the matter with me, I’m just not feeling the romance at the moment, I could do with a book that’s so unbelievably fantastic, that it starts me reading again.

I think that perhaps I’ll start reading the Clive Cussler books that I bought last year. Actually, no I wont, I’m not in the mood for him either.

Tami Hoag is usually a comfort read, so I think I’ll revisit some of her books. I’m going to stay away from romance for a while, unless somebody can recommend a stupendously fabulous book.

Big effing sigh.

What the hell? This is sooo not my idea of the perfect penis.

You have got to watch this video, it’ll definitely make you cross your legs. I’ve never seen a manroot shaped like the one on here. It’s enough to make one’s eyes water. *Shudder*

Thanks to Eve, for drawing this to my attention. (g)

I usually don’t bother with these things, but I thought this was quite amusing.

Dear Staff

Familiarise yourselves with the new company rules as approved by the Partners this week and closely actioned and monitored by us the Department managers.

Effective from 1 January 2007

Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holidays

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Regards,

Chairman of the Executive Board

What? I thought it was funny, so there! (g)

When we were in Las Vegas last year, a taxi driver who we got talking to, told us that only about twenty per cent of all Americans have passports.

I asked him why he thought that was, and his answer was that most Americans felt that they had everything they needed in their country, so why go somewhere else? Oooookay then.

I’m sure this isn’t true for everyone, but what other reasons are there for people not actually owning a valid passport? Even if they can’t afford to travel.

If what the taxi drive says is true, then surely that makes America a very insular country. (yes, I realise you guys have had this charge levied at you many a time, so bear with me.)

I know at least two Americans who don’t have a passport, and were quite proud of the fact.

Personally, I think it’s weird.

I can’t imagine not experiencing other countries, other cultures, other ways of life.

So, come on fess up, how many of you guys own a valid passport? Also, when was the last time you left your country?

Incidentally, you don’t have to be an American to answer.