Sarah, I was going to respond to your comment in the previous post, but it got way too long, so I decided to make it into a blog post of its own.

This was the point that I was originally responding to:

”I have to say that I have never been asked to add more sex in a story at EC, nor have I ever been told to add it earlier.”

The thing is Sarah, I think you’re one of EC’s most talented and probably successful writers. Plus like you mentioned in a later post, you would soon tell them where to get off, if they started messing with you. You can do that because, they know you have far more options, than a newbie just starting in the business.

I’m sure that authors like Jaci Burton, Lora Leigh, and Shiloh Walker have probably never been asked to add more sex to their books, because, like you, they are in a far more powerful position than a lot of the current crop of authors. And let’s face it, it’s not like they’re releasing lots of books with EC at the moment anyway.

What I think is more worrying are the newer editors who, in my personal opinion, wouldn’t know a good book, if it got up and did the jig in front of them.

I know that one woman’s meat is another woman’s poison, but in my opinion, there is a difference between disliking a book, because it was badly written, and disliking a book, because you didn’t appreciate the storyline, and the heroine pissed you off, etc, etc.

Ben’s Wildflower, was the most inept, amateur, ridiculous, and absurd book, that I’ve come across in a very, very long time. I’m not even going to take the route of fully blaming the author, because the fact is, the editor felt it was good enough to, not only publish it in the first place, but allegedly, felt that the author was deserving of a 12-book contract. I’m still trying to get over that one.

In my opinion the editor messed up, big time. That book was so bad, that a 10 year old probably could have done a better job. It was porn in the purest sense, with a happy-ending thrown in, so that it could earn the label, ‘erotic romance’. I can’t even describe how utterly ridiculous it was.

Of course there are people who will have enjoyed Ben’s Wildflower, but in my opinion, the reason for their enjoyment would have less to do with with the quality of the book, and more to do with the high titillation factor.

I can’t think that it’s mere coincidence that things (for me at least) started nose-diving when Crissy Bashear left to form Samhain. According to a couple of EC authors, things have been on a downward spiral for a while now, and the changes that have been rung, haven’t pleased everybody, on the contrary, some of these authors have been privately shaking their heads, and discreetly making plans to change publishers.

Also, although as reader, I love it when publishers offer up more books, I’m still scratching my head at EC’s decision to release their books on a twice-weekly basis.

I’m sure it was a financial decision, but at what cost? Have they taken on more editors to cope with the number of books being released each week? More to the point, are the editors that they are taking on, able to do the job? In the case of the editor who pubbed Ben’s Wildflower, clearly not.

Admittedly, she may have been having a bad day, when she gave the thumbs-up to Ms Lynne’s second book, and maybe her next book will be stupendously well-worked. I seriously doubt it though.

I mentioned earlier that I know a few talented, (in my opinion at least) unpubbed writers, who have been refused by EC, whilst they seemingly embrace authors who clearly struggle with the English language. Harsh I know, but as a former staunch advocate of EC books, I can’t help but feel very disappointed about the quality of the books that they are spewing out.

I still recall feeling dismayed when Ashleigh Raine announced over a year ago, that EC had made the decision to not continue with their Talisman Bay series. I generally hate paranormals, but the Shadow Walker books were actually really good, and definitely a lot better than the dross that’s currently being published.

I’m aware of at least one EC author, who has one book left on her contract, and she’s been trying to get that one book released for the past eighteen months. It still hasn’t been accepted for publication. Apparently, there were massive edits, which isn’t a problem per se, but when I see the crap that’s being let through, I can’t help but wonder if there are any clear standards that the editors are supposed to be working to.

The newbie authors at EC will probably feel quite safe, and happy there at this present time, they’re still experiencing the Just-Published, rosy-hued honeymoon period. Utterly grateful for their first publishing contract. Who can blame them? Not I, that’s for sure, but sooner or later, the worm will turn, and it will be interesting to see what they have to say about EC, once that happens.

In the meantime, I hope the quality of the books improve, because if they don’t, then sooner or later, sales will probably be impacted.

Also, is it simply coincidence that Elloras Cave haven’t won any major accolades since they won Best Publisher in the Preditors and Editors poll in 2003?

Oh, by the way, if anybody has any juicy gossip for me re the happenings at EC, then you can e-mail me at hairylemony @ gmail. com. Confidentiality guaranteed. Go on, you know you want to. *g*

Amended to add:

If you are a regular buyer of EC books and feel that you’ve been getting a shoddy deal lately, the best thing you can do is to write and complain. The more readers complain about the current quality of books being produced, the greater the chance that some of the higher-ups will sit up and take notice.

If you can be arsed, their customer services e-mail address is service@ellorascave.com It would be interesting to see if we as readers are able to force them to change things up a bit.

And don’t get me started on the new crop of pornographic cover art.

Interesting cover…

Please note, the following review contains spoilers and excerpts.

This review was painful to write, but it had to be done. Carol Lynne, if you happen to come across this review, whilst googling yourself, I’d recommend that you don’t read any further. It’s not a gushing lovey-dovey review, in fact, it may be a tad… harsh? I’m sorry.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the blurb from Elloras Cave.

What would make a woman cut herself off from the town she grew up in for seven years? For Kate the answer is one man, a powerful man.

When Kate is in danger of losing her ranch to the bank, she enters into a partnership with Ben. This six-foot seven-inch, overly endowed ex-Seal is looking for a home. He finds a home and love with Kate. When problems on the ranch begin to escalate, Kate points the finger at one man, the man from her past who is determined to drive her out of town.

What’s an ex-Seal to do but bring in the rest of his team? Ben summons a few members of his team to help protect Kate from a man who believes he’s above the law.

My Verdict

Jesus. Effing. Christ.

I can honestly say, it’s been a while since I read a book so bad, I had to review it.

I’m almost sorry to do this to Ms Lynne, but I can’t imagine who thought it was a good idea to put this book out for public consumption. Seriously, I don’t even know where to begin.

I should have known things were gonna be bad when the hero insisted on calling the heroine ‘Wildflower’. Could the author be more corny?

The sheer amateurish nature of this book, lead me to conclude that the author was fairly new to publishing, and looking at her website, it seems that I may be right, unless of course she publishes under another guise Please say it aint so!.

For the love of all things Oprah, please let her be a newbie author, because if she aint, then she’s got no fucking excuse for the pile of steaming horse manure that I’ve just subjected myself to.

The characterisation was poor beyond belief, I couldn’t get over the ridiculously stilted dialogue, the slightly bizarre storyline, and the whole host of secondary characters, who all seemed to be either gay, or at least thinking about it.

Ben and Kate (the hero and heroine) have some friends who are involved in a menage relationship. The woman in the menage is pregnant, and the two men are denying her sex because apparently pregnant women can’t indulge in carnal activities.

Now bear in mind that this is a contemp set in a town called Junctionville, but there’s a strange old scene where Ben is lamenting over the issues that Kate has been having, to his friends, when suddenly, the two men, who form part of the menage start tonguing each other in public, and feeling each other’s cocks. Huh?

Not only that, but at one point Ben, who’s obviously a manly heterosexual man, is on the phone to one of his buddies, and he turns round to find that the two men, unable to keep their passions below boiling, start going at each other whilst he’s sat there. And when I say going at each other, what I mean is, one guy sticks his tongue in the other guys arse, and starts licking him out.

What. The. Fuck?

Now I’m not saying that shit like this doesn’t happen, but considering that one of the men was the local sheriff, and the other one had an equally ‘masculine’, public minded job, I just don’t think they would behave like that in a straight bar, in a town called Junctionville, know what I mean?

I’m sorry, I’m usually willing to suspend disbelief when reading erotic romance, but this was just something I couldn’t see happening. This is the equivalent of TTG and I having dinner with friends, then me pulling down my knickers, and letting him feast on my womanly bud. I think not.

I know that these kind of scenes happen a lot in erotic romance, but this was a contemp set in a town called Junctionville for fuck’s sake, if that doesn’t scream redneckville, I don’t know what does.

What I couldn’t understand was that there was this raving lunatic, who was obviously going round causing Katie-Did trouble, and kept trying to kill her at every opportunity, whilst leaving big-assed clues that he was the guilty party, yet for some reason, nothing was ever done about it.

Erm… hold on, on second thoughts, that doesn’t sound so far-fetched. That shit happens in England all the time.

Oh by the way, did I mention that Ben (our hero) had a problem with his overgrown dick? No? Well he did. What clued me in on his little problem, I hear you ask?

Oooh, let me count the ways:

Immediately he was rock-hard, which for a man of his size was definitely not a good thing. Ben had to turn back toward the truck and reposition his cock to run down the leg of his jeans. If not the damned thing would be sticking up out of the top of his pants for everyone to see. Ben’s ten-inch cock had always been the bane of his existence

Clue number one: He has a ten inch dick.

“Look down, darlin’. Do you see what I see? You’re only about an inch and a half from fully taking me. I think a few more

Clue number two: He has to stick it to his heroine, itty bitty inches at a time, so that he doesn’t rip her in half.

“I’ve already proven I can handle your cock’s circumference. The only question left unanswered is can I take your length. Would it really be so bad for you if we tried now and I couldn’t take all of you?

Clue number thr… fuck that, more to the point, I want to know who the fuck says something as stupid as ‘I can handle your cock’s circumference’? Blech.

“Ben lifted Kate off his lap and stood. Cree took in the front of his jeans and swore. “God damn, Ben. How do you manage to lug that thing around all day?”

Clue number four: Even Ben’s friends have noticed the size of his pecker.

Ben had discovered when he was seventeen just what kind of damage a cock as big as his could cause a woman, especially a woman as petite as Kate, and the experience had permanently scarred him.

Since that horrible day he’d fucked only big, very, very experienced women.

Good fucking lord. *Head-desk*

I get it, Ben has a big dick, and it’s been the bane of his life, now please move on with the fucking story.

*Ahem*, I digress…

Not only were the primary characters totally lacking any kind of depth, the villain, was just sooo over the top evil, I almost found myself sympathising with him. He was a crap baddie, and it didn’t help that he didn’t seem to be the brightest tool in the box either.

Anytime he did something evil to Kate, he left great big fucking clues that anybody with half a brain cell would have been able to figure out. He might as well have taken out an ad in the local rag, telling everybody that he did it. Sigh.

I just remembered that there was a sub-plot involving a couple of Ben’s friends, that seemed to have just been dumped in the middle of the book. There was simply no rhyme or reason for it, so my best guess was that the author was doing her utmost to meet her minimum word count. Oh the pain.

Another thing that bemused me was Ms Lynne’s apparent love for the phrase, ‘Little Fucker’. I wonder if she realised just how often she used said phrase, when referring to the villain of the book? I was tempted to count, but I couldn’t be arsed. Anybody who buys Ben’s Wildflower will quickly see what I mean.

I briefly mentioned the stilted dialogue before, but it was gems like the following that had me nearly peeing my panties. I’m not sure that was the intended reaction though:

“Speaking of fucking. I’ve been giving it some thought and if you’re still interested I think I’d like you to fuck me in the ass.”

I loved how the author wrote the above in such a way that Kate could have been easily asking for more sugar in her coffee. Did I mention that the heroine was nervous about sex when she met the hero? And that for some reason she had bras with the nipples cut out, even though she was scared of S.E.X?

This book was so badly written, that it made Thea Devine’s Sensation seem positively wonderful. My regular readers will know that this is not a good thing. Seriously.

There were so many things wrong with Ben’s Wildflower that the problem would be knowing when to stop listing my issues with the book. It was craptastic in way that I haven’t experienced in a long while.

I have to say, it isn’t often that I come across a book so bad, that I have to question what the editor was smoking when she agreed to publish it. I’m sorry Ms Lynne, I pray that you aren’t somebody I actually like. but this book was so technically inept that it leads me to indeed wonder what the fuck your editor was shooting up, when she offered you a contract for it.

It really was that crap.

You can visit Carol Lynne’s very interesting website here, and buy Ben’s Wildflower in e-book format, here.

Ok, that’s enough from me, I’m just going to gargle with mouthwash to take the nasty taste of this book out of my mouth. I feel so dirty, I think that a bath is also in order.

So, I was on the phone with my little sister yesterday, when she casually drops into the conversation, that her boyf wants them to go to Bahrain for their hols this year.

Bahrain. This year.

This is how the conversation went:

Sis: P wants to go to Bahrain in July, for a couple of weeks.
K: Silence
Sis: He’s got a friend over there, who’s got a lovely big house, and says we can stay with him.
K: Silence.
Sis: Silence.
Sis: Erm, what do you think?
K: You do know it’s a middle eastern country don’t you?
Sis: Um.. yeah
K: You do know you can’t wear short skirts there don’t you?
Sis: What do you mean?
K: They don’t like women wearing sexy clothes in public.
Sis: Why not?
K: Stupified silence.
K: Are you on a drugs?
Sis: What do you mean?
K: You do know it’s an Islamic country, right?
Sis: Um… yeah.
Sis: P sez it’ll be good.
K: Silence
Sis: He sez that at least it’ll be sunny all the time.
K: Silence.
K: You do know they hate Americans right?
Sis: But I’m not American
K: Babe, you’re black, they’ll just assume you’re American.
Sis: Oh.
K: You wont be able to kiss P in public over there.
Sis: Silence
K: You wont be able to drink either.
Sis: I’ll call you right back.
*Hangs up, then calls back 5 minutes later*
Sis: Are we ok to go to Cuba?
K: *Head-desk.*

I’m sorry, no offense to Bahrain, or any of its inhabitants, I just don’t want my sister stepping foot anywhere near the middle east, no matter how progressive they are. It’s nothing personal. Really. I just happen to like her head where it is.

*Make note to slap Sister’s boyfriend into the middle of next week the next time I see him.*

Anne Marble, over at the AAR group list is asking the question, “How Dark Is Too Dark?”

She writes:

I love dark and tormented heroes, not to mention books with dark themes, books about “issues,” and so forth. Also, a lot of readers look for these heroes, and they’ve been disappointed with recent romances being too light for their tastes.

But how dark is too dark? Years ago, Megan McKinney’s “Gentle from the Night” was controversial among readers because the hero verged on being evil. Some readers would say he was evil. While I still liked it, I know some readers loathed that one because they didn’t think the hero was redeemable.

- Also, is it possible for an issue book to get so deeply into the “issue” that the romance is lost? Or to try to deal with too many issues at once?

Now I do love me some dark and tormented heroes. I love heroes who have experienced real pain in their life, because as far as I’m concerned, these very struggles are what enables the author to hook the reader in.

I want to see the hero overcome his problems. I want to see him find the woman that he was meant to be with. I want to see the character develop, as the book goes on. It seems easier to do this with these kind of heroes, than with their fluffy counterparts.

One of the reasons why I love Nora’s J.D Robb’s Roarke so much is because although he’s in a pretty good position as far as his wealth etc, he had to go through pretty torrid times to get to where he’s at right now. I love his whole backstory. I love the fact that he came from nothing, and made something of himself. I love that he wasn’t always whiter than white, and wasn’t above operating outside the law.

When I think of my favourite books, a lot of the heroes were dark, or tormented. Anne Stuart’s Bastien Toussaint totally floated my boat because of his lack of scruples. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m convinced it’s because he was so far removed from the typical romance hero.

I recall being totally enthralled by Linda Howard’s hero in Cry No More. When I think about it though, Diaz seemed to have similar characteristics to Bastien Toussaint in Black Ice, so that may explain why.

The only time I recall really hating a dark hero, was in JW Mckenna’s Darkest Hour. Now he wasn’t just dark, the man was cruel beyond belief. The fact that he whipped the heroine to within an inch of her life (and no she most definitely didn’t get off on it!), as punishment for some BDSM related misdemeanour, made me so mad, I wrote to the author, asking him why he’d labelled the book a romance when it so clearly wasn’t. (The heroine spent about three quarters of a page with this twat of a man, then ends up with a ‘nicer’ guy in the last twenty or so pages of the book, wtf?)

He was gracious enough to write back and tell me that it was one of his earlier works, and that it probably shouldn’t have been labelled romance, but I have to say, Darkest Hour remains at the top of my Top Ten Worst Books of all time, to this day.

Apart from the above example, I can’t recall reading many romance books where the hero was so dark, he bordered on evil. What about you guys?

Also, is it ever acceptable for the hero to actually hit the heroine? Have you read any romance books where this happened, yet somehow the author was able to sufficiently redeem the hero?

If so, the guy needs to be horse-whipped. This is not amusing in the fucking slightest. Sick fuck.

Courtesy of Eve’s Yahoo list.

I got this from Monica’s blog. Effing hilarious. Seriously, you need to click and listen to this woman talk.

I couldn’t be arsed checking out Wikipedia for the answer to this question, but do women have more than one official G spot? *g*

Count me in as one of the gals who likes clitoral stimulation too!

I like this broad, (even though I don’t actually know what she’s talking about half the time) but what’s wrong with being screwed into submission anyway? *g*

Effing hilarious.

Now I don’t particularly mind them, in fact I do like that Anchor and Storm cover, but they are kinda close to the knuckle aren’t they?

Like I said to Bam, I wouldn’t be caught dead reading these books in public, so it’s probably just as well they are in e-format, no?

As pornographic (yes they are) as some of these covers are, I bet they’re selling like hotcakes though.

If these come out in print, I suspect EC will have to change the covers altogether. No self-respecting woman is gonna read any of these books on the train, or any other public (heheh, I just accidentally wrote, ‘pubic’) venue.

I came across this rant by Jennifer Crusie earlier today, and I must say, it tickled me pink. I do like that woman. Seriously.

Her rant was basically about the hoo ha caused by the alleged rape scene in Courting The Courtesan by Anna Campbell.

She starts:

”There’s a huge hoo-ra (not Hoo Ha) going on right now about rape in romance, spurred by a book whose title I will not mention because I’ve never read it and neither, I think, have a lot of the people who are outraged by it.”

She’s probably right, the people complaining are probably the people who haven’t read the book. Have you noticed that that seems to happen a lot?

This was my favourite bit:

“And while we’re on this, any romance novel that makes God more important that the romance story is not a romance, it’s an inspirational novel with a romance subplot, and I don’t like them, either.”

God, I love her. Anyway, I’ve got nothing else to say on the matter, and had it not been for her eloquent rant, I would have totally ignored the subject, so go read for yourselves, if you haven’t already.

Go Lewis, go!

TTG and I watched the Bahrain Grandprix yesterday, and I must say, I was very impressed with young Mr Hamilton. He finished second to Felipe Massa, and is in joint first place in terms of championship points.

We got our very own Tiger Woods, woo hoo!

What a difference a day makes. They were alive yesterday.

I always wonder about the person that just seems to go crazy and shoot as many people as they possibly can? Why today? What triggered the rage that was responsible for this massacre?

You know that saying about guns not killing people? Well it’s not strictly true is it? Check out this timeline of worldwide school shootings.

It strikes me as very telling that 30 of the 45 shootings happened in the States. I’ve always been of the mind that selling guns in the same place that one gets their baked beans, is nothing but pure madness.

It creeps me out to think the number of guns out there that are in the wrong hands.

What an effing tragedy. Does anybody know who the shooter is?