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Romanceland is full of nutters, and crazies not too dissimilar to The Right Honourable Betty Boozer.

Carol Lynne responded perfectly to my review. She said nothing. I admire that.

I’m not the only person who doesn’t understand what the Lotus Circle is about.

Reviews are not for authors. They are for readers.

The subject of reviewing will never die.

A Newbie author who’s book gets ripped apart will realise in five years time, that the blogger was probably right. That book did indeed suck Great Big Hairy Donkey Balls.

Some authors truly believe that bloggers / reviewers buy books just to rip them to shreds.

Until the crap that was Ben’s Wildflower, I hadn’t posted a negative review since November 2006. This must not happen again.

I’m not the only person who’s fed up with Vampires, Shapeshifters, Paranormals,and effing BDSM books.

Racism in romance isn’t considered as big an issue as homophobia in romance.

Awarding a 12-book contract to unproven newbies is not sound business.

Some authors will happily stick their tongue up your arse, and take a long lick, as long as it’s not their book or their publisher that you are dissing.

I’m suspicious of anybody who peppers their posts with “Lololololol!!” all the freaking time.

Some people are better at sucking up than others.

People who take the trouble to post that they wont be visiting your blog ever again, are usually lying.

Just because you got published, doesn’t mean that you deserved it. Your editor may have been high at the time.


Romanceland is full of passive aggressive women, and hypocrites.

Authors will always Google themselves, no matter how much they say they don’t.

I’m not the only person who thinks EC standards have gone waaay down.

Some popular bloggers seem to feel threatened by other popular bloggers, and refuse to mingle with them. You know who you are.

Some people should not be let out in public, without being fully medicated. You know who you are.

The Slash and Burn Reviewer/Blogger is an urban legend, cooked up by authors who’s book (s) got dissed, and dismissed.

Reviewers/ bloggers who personally attack authors are also an urban legend, cooked up by the same group of people.

Authors can be trolls too. You know who you are.

Some authors can be snarky too, they are just less honest about it. You know who you are.

Negative reviews will always generate more column inches, than positive reviews.

Nobody ever remembers gushingly glowing reviews.

There are certain people who always seem to hijack other people’s blogs. I recently got rid of at least one of these PWTTAFBA – types.

Anybody who writes that “Snarks go for an obvious joke just because it’s funny, not because the book really doesn’t work.” just doesn’t get it.

Some authors don’t understand that it’s not all about them.

‘Nice Girl’ Review sites hate bloggers like me.

I hate pussified bloggers who hold themselves up as a shining example of how other bloggers should behave. You know who you are.

A lot of authors hate bloggers like me.

Women don’t rule the world because we cry far too easily and exhibit pussy-like behaviour in the face of adversity.

Some books suck more than others.

Authors should understand that readers like me don’t really care how much effort they put into writing a book. All they care about is whether they enjoyed it or not.

It should take longer than two weeks to write a book. Unless you are Nora Roberts.

Rabid Fangirls will always tell you that “You’re just jealous because you’re a frustrated writer with no talent!”, if you diss their favourite authors.

I hate the phrase “If you can’t say anything nice”. People who believe that, have no business reading this blog, yet they continue to do so.

Some ladies in Romanceland will talk about respecting other people, whilst they secretly send e-mails trashing you to their buddies.

Good editors are worth their weight in gold.

Bad reviews wont kill you, but the Rabid Fangirl stalking you might.

52 Comments »


  • Jane
    May 7
    7:45 pm

    Lololololol!!

    Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

    ReplyReply


  • Bev (BB)
    May 7
    8:06 pm

    It should take longer than two weeks to write a book. Unless you are Nora Roberts.

    For some odd reason, my first reaction to this one was to crack up laughing. My second was to think “Hey? Now that wasn’t very nice. Funny, though.”

    Do I have my priorities reversed or what? You people are a bad influence. :D

    The subject of reviewing will never die.

    Cause if it could die, I would’ve shot it years ago and I don’t even own a gun. Just saying.

    Sigh.

    ReplyReply


  • Dionne Galace
    May 7
    8:11 pm

    there you go, riling up the beehive again. You are such a wicked little devil’s advocate.

    … and my sole reason for waking up in the morning.

    ReplyReply


  • Kate R
    May 7
    8:19 pm

    This stuff is news to you?

    ReplyReply


  • Shiloh Walker
    May 7
    8:20 pm

    I’ll have you know I try very hard not to google myself. No more than once or twice a week. Three times, max. ;p

    However, I dont’ expect people to love every word I write so I can handle the negative stuff I see on my googles. But if you’re going to break into tears at something negative, just back away from the google machine.

    And Karen… this image…
    Some authors will happily stick their tongue up your arse, and take a long lick

    is just so gross. Man….

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    May 7
    8:38 pm

    I’m pretty new to your blog (and other romance blogs) but I have become totally addicted with all these shenanigans. The people of Romanceland are truly crazier than a bag of cats.

    I’ve got to second your comments on the paranormal stuff – ENOUGH ALREADY!

    I’m such a luddite – I can only work out how to leave this post anonymously…

    JOJO

    ReplyReply


  • Barbara B.
    May 7
    10:07 pm

    Karen, I suspect you knew all of this before this latest bit of fuckery. I think maybe you just didn’t know the degree of the madness. I sure as hell didn’t. I absolutely agree with everything you said, especially the part about EC.

    ReplyReply


  • Anne
    May 7
    10:42 pm

    Oh man, you seriously crack me up! God, I love you Karen!

    And paranormals and BDSM, I’m with you… ENOUGH ALREADY!

    I think it takes Nora a little longer than two weeks to write a book. If it doesn’t take people longer than two weeks to write a book, they deserve reviews like Ben’s Wildflower. And what IS with that title anyway? God!

    Smooches!

    ReplyReply


  • Camilla
    May 7
    10:52 pm

    Racism in romance isn’t considered as big an issue as homophobia in romance.

    *Sigh* Ain’t that the truth?

    ReplyReply


  • Marg
    May 7
    11:35 pm

    And here I was thinking that you only needed to learn one thing a day!

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    May 8
    12:06 am

    Okay, on the BDSM thing. It sucks because it’s not real. As someone who identifies as part of the real BDSM community, I read some of the shit that’s put out there as “BDSM” and just cringe. Now, there might be a lot of “your kink is not my kink” stuff going on, but there’s also WAAAY more wish-fulfillment and outright fantasy being written as BDSM contemporaries than there are sometimes in paranormals or fantasy novels.

    Good “real” BDSM: Joey Hill. Um…Joey Hill. Chris Owen now and then. There are some I’m still checking out, but, yeah, the BDSM is just bad from the BDSM perspective, let alone from the writing perspective.

    –Roseread

    ReplyReply


  • avidbookreader
    May 8
    1:21 am

    Karen wrote:
    Just because you got published, doesn’t mean that you deserved it. Your editor may have been high at the time.

    I can add to that:

    Not all writers are talented.

    And what I’ve learned in blog land is that there really are people who spend way too much f. time on the computer. Sometimes, you just need to step away and get a life.

    Keishon, offline so I can read

    ReplyReply


  • Emily Veinglory
    May 8
    1:33 am

    “http://karenknowsbest.blogspot.com/2007/05/forty-things-ive-learned-in-romanceland.html”

    ditto

    ReplyReply


  • Emily Veinglory
    May 8
    1:34 am

    Bugger, I meant to quote the ‘wtf is Lotus Circle about’ line not the link. But my cache fu was bad.

    ReplyReply


  • Barbara Sheridan
    May 8
    2:57 am

    Come on people, Paranormals rock!

    Hey, I’m a child of the late 60s & early 70s who grew up with no cable and lots of Dark Shadows, The Addams Family, Twilight Zone, the Munsters and Saturday nights full of schlocky horror flicks hosted by oddball local folk.

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    May 8
    5:03 am

    Hear hear to all of your points! Right on the nose.

    And even though I also like Dark Shadows, Twilight Zone, etc. I get what Karen’s saying about paranormals. I’ve gotten to the point where I want a good, down-to-earth contemporary with a real guy hero.

    ReplyReply


  • Mrs G
    May 8
    6:52 am

    Okay, on the BDSM thing. It sucks because it’s not real.

    Actually, even conventional sex isn’t real in romance novels. Witness heroines experiencing multiple orgasms during their first sexual experience, rakes that don’t have STDs or illegitimate children when they are not being very careful, condoms being used apparently only to prevent unwanted pregnancies, drunk heroes who manage to nonetheless give sexually inexperienced heroines multiple orgasms in their inebriated state, oral sex in the morning following a night of vigorous sex without cleaning the body parts involved… I can go on and on, but I think you get what I am trying to say here.

    BDSM is just the latest casualty of the romance bandwagon, I’m afraid. Like many authors who have no idea what they are doing trying to write science-fiction romances, we have too many people trying their hands at yaoi, BDSM, and gay romances when they have no interest in the subject matter other than how much money they can get from writing such a book.

    ReplyReply


  • Kat O+
    May 8
    7:48 am

    A few days ago, I would have agreed with you on the paranormal thing, but I just read Shana Abé’s The Smoke Thief, and I’m so very glad that Romanceland has authors who can write like she does.

    ReplyReply


  • MERLIN
    May 8
    7:54 am

    You can’t count : that doesn’t add up to 40.

    Lololololo – I couldn’t resist it either and I’ll never post here again.

    M.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    May 8
    11:11 am

    Merlin, you can’t read, the title of the post clearly says 40+, so there!

    ReplyReply


  • MERLIN
    May 8
    2:09 pm

    Karen,

    You should add to your list :

    Before you criticise someone you should walk a mile in their shoes.

    That way, when you ctiticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

    I think that would be 42 (the meaning of life as we all know by now).

    M.

    ReplyReply


  • thelotuscirclejerk
    May 8
    2:40 pm

    what is – PWTTAFBA? I start at pussified for P, then writers for W. After that, nothing else suggests itself.

    ReplyReply


  • Dionne Galace
    May 8
    2:41 pm

    It should take longer than two weeks to write a book. Unless you are Nora Roberts.

    For some odd reason, my first reaction to this one was to crack up laughing. My second was to think “Hey? Now that wasn’t very nice. Funny, though.”

    What Karen is saying is that NR is so prolific and brilliant that if she churned a book out in two weeks, it’s still brilliant.

    That’s how I read it. But then again, I believe NR can do no wrong.

    ReplyReply


  • Dionne Galace
    May 8
    2:50 pm

    Before you criticise someone you should walk a mile in their shoes.

    That way, when you ctiticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

    I think that would be 42 (the meaning of life as we all know by now).

    And Merlin is my new best friend.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    May 8
    3:42 pm

    Before you criticise someone you should walk a mile in their shoes.

    That way, when you ctiticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

    Loved that piece of advice dearie!

    LotusCircleJerk it stands for Pussies Who Think They Are Funny, But Aren’t.

    Bam, that’s exactly what I meant, Nora can do it, and still produce something readable, but nobody else can!

    ReplyReply


  • Casee
    May 8
    3:48 pm

    I have to say that Carol Lynne should actually be thankful for that review. A lot more people probably bought the book. I know that I had to read it to see if it was as truly awful as your review said.

    One word:

    YES.

    I agree with you, reviews are for readers. Bring it on.

    ReplyReply


  • HelenKay
    May 8
    4:42 pm

    Some authors will happily stick their tongue up your arse, and take a long lick, as long as it’s not their book or their publisher that you are dissing.

    First, ewwww. Second, it’s funny and true and isn’t that tragic?

    HelenKay (an author who promises NEVER to stick her tongue in anyone’s arse no matter how excellent the promised review might be)

    ReplyReply


  • MERLIN
    May 8
    5:03 pm

    It would have helped if I’d spelt “criticise” correctly the second time around.

    At least I have a new BFF.

    LOL.

    M.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    May 8
    5:20 pm

    Hey Merlin, you’re cultivating your very own fans on my blog, what’s that about!

    I got offered tickets to go to Stamford Bridge tomorrow by the way, but I turned them down. Seems a bit pointless seeing as the Championship has been won already.

    Damn it feels good to say that!

    HK, I’ve never felt your tongue anywhere near my rectum, so you’re off the hook!

    ReplyReply


  • Shiloh Walker
    May 8
    6:04 pm

    You know, I’m almost afraid to keep reading this thread.

    The rectal licking references are freaking me out.

    That is just so not an image I want in my head.

    ReplyReply


  • Anne
    May 8
    9:31 pm

    Karen-

    I can’t hold back any longer… name calling tactics are a pitiful attempt at trying to best you–one that SO failed–and I believe all that author did was made herself look childish. You’re a Troll! You’re a Snark! You’re a critic! Sticks and stones, baby… sticks and stones. :-)

    ReplyReply


  • Ann Bruce
    May 9
    5:18 am

    Authors will always Google themselves, no matter how much they say they don’t.

    I much prefer checking my Amazon.com stats. Sad, pathetic. Yeah, but I can’t stop my fingers. (Now that sounded dirty.)

    ReplyReply


  • Sandra Schwab
    May 9
    7:09 am

    Some authors can be snarky too, they are just less honest about it. You know who you are.

    Clever authors get only snarky when they’re chatting with their friends in private (which, obviously, excludes the hotel lobby during a RWA conference…)

    Ann, you only check your amazon.com stats? I check mine on amazon.de and amazon.co.uk, too. I’m not yet checking those on amazon.jp, though. That should count for something. (Should I add some maniac laughter here?)

    I have to disagree with reviews being not for authors: of course they’re for authors in the sense that reviews are a form of promotion. And as has been proven time and time again, even bad reviews can be good promotion (it only becomes bad promotion when the authors follows up by implying the reviewer has a lower IQ than her). Just the same, authors shouldn’t expect everybody to like their stuff (but a girl can hope, can’t she?)

    ReplyReply


  • MERLIN
    May 9
    9:00 am

    Karen,

    You’ve got me sussed – I’m a serial blogjacker.

    I hang around on blogs where the traffic is predominantly female and dangle some bait (!) and see what happens.

    As for Chelsea it’s all a bit of an anti-climax now isn’t it ?

    (A bit of a metaphor for life in general !).

    M.

    ReplyReply


  • Sandra Schwab
    May 9
    10:23 am

    I got offered tickets to go to Stamford Bridge tomorrow by the way

    Gaaah! Don’t tell me: the Vikings are invading Britain once more! (Sorry, just couldn’t resist! *g*)

    ReplyReply


  • Gwen
    May 9
    9:41 pm

    Merlin – if what you’re dangling isn’t huge and fully erect, we don’t want it!

    That’s another thing I’ve learned from Romancelandia – male parts are always LAAAAARGE.

    Thanks for the giggles, Karen. I know that’s what you live for – right? ;-)

    ReplyReply


  • Amie Stuart
    May 9
    10:19 pm

    Your editor may have been high at the time.

    *howling*

    See no LOLOLOLOL

    Gwen..if it’s danging I’m not sure I want to mess with it *ggg*

    And Jojo that crazier than a bag of cats comment is SO going in a book someday.

    ReplyReply


  • sybil
    May 10
    3:59 am

    Hey I am a nice grrl and I like you just fine.

    lololol

    and really I always try to be well medicated when I come here *g*

    But hey I do get out.

    ReplyReply


  • ammie
    May 10
    4:08 am

    Could this be on the list too?

    No matter what anyone says good writing isn’t subjective. It’s not to each his own — some writing is just bad and if you like it, it just means your tolerance for crap is a lot higher than it should be.

    ReplyReply


  • Shiloh Walker
    May 10
    1:55 pm

    and really I always try to be well medicated when I come here *g*

    Personally, I don’t think Sybil should be allowed anywhere without being medicated, but that’s just me. (sorry, syb, couldn’t resist… smooch!)

    ReplyReply


  • Teddy Pig
    May 10
    4:56 pm

    “Racism in romance isn’t considered as big an issue as homophobia in romance.”

    Why do you consider these two things mutually exclusive?

    Most people willing to justify one are usually not above justifying the other you know.

    I like that fact that RT documented for our benefit their discriminatory practices against homosexual content for everyone to see. It gave a great big “kick me” sign right on their collective butts.

    I would not put it past them for a minute to practice other nasty prejudicial behavior …for business reasons of course.

    Why is this a negative in your mind?

    ReplyReply


  • Jackie
    May 10
    5:57 pm

    ::dies laughing::

    ReplyReply


  • Gwen
    May 10
    6:18 pm

    Personally, I don’t think Sybil should be allowed anywhere without being medicated, but that’s just me. (sorry, syb, couldn’t resist… smooch!)

    Shi – did you see this week’s House episode? His friend has been dosing his coffee with drugs to make him happy. Are you saying you do that to our Sybs?

    ReplyReply


  • Teddy Pig
    May 10
    6:19 pm

    Oops,

    Sorry I did not complete that thought.

    I should have said… Why is the uproar over RT’s apparent homophobia a negative when it seems to support a lot of hidden prejudice accusations that have been made.

    Need more coffee.

    ReplyReply


  • shiloh walker
    May 10
    6:46 pm

    Shi – did you see this week’s House episode? His friend has been dosing his coffee with drugs to make him happy. Are you saying you do that to our Sybs?

    Drug Sybil… me? Would I do that….hmmm…hhhh…. hmmmmmm…. yes?

    But wait, if I do that, she won’t be as fun as she is now… decisions decisions…

    ;p

    and dang, no, I missed it! I almost always just end up watching House on reruns cuz I never rememner when it comes on.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    May 11
    7:36 am

    I should have said… Why is the uproar over RT’s apparent homophobia a negative

    I don’t recall suggesting it was a negative Teddy.

    ReplyReply


  • azteclady
    May 11
    3:48 pm

    On the subject of reviews–negative, positive, etc.–I really like Roger Ebert’s attitude.

    (don’t know how to link properly, sorry)
    http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070507/COMMENTARY/70507001

    ReplyReply


  • sybil
    May 16
    5:04 am

    shi I do believe we are in agreement there *g*.

    ReplyReply


  • Alexa
    May 19
    1:28 pm

    Hi, I was just wandering if you’d allow me to highjack your “Bad reviews wont kill you, but the Rabid Fangirl stalking you might.” line and make an icon out of it?

    I won’t if you’d rather I didn’t.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    May 19
    2:08 pm

    Hi Alexa, go for it, as long as I can borrow it some time!

    ReplyReply


  • Alexa
    May 19
    8:05 pm

    Thanks! And of course you can borrow it!

    I’ll post a link once I finish it – – which might take a while – I’ve not done any creative desighns on icons before…

    ReplyReply

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