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Over at the I Heart Harlequin Presents blog, they were talking about the fact that so many Presents titles seem to have the word ‘virgin’ in them. (Ya don’t say?) The actual post was a mite boring, as many of the posts over there tend to be, but I came across an interesting comment that caught my eye:

“I love to read about virginal heroines, and when it comes to reality, believe me, there are virgins over the age of 18. I was one of them. I had my first boyfriend (now my husband) at the age of 21. And he was 30 at that time, and guess what, a virgin himself! Of course I expected him to be experienced (because I read so many Presents books:)), but he soon told me he was not, and I thought, ok, why not? Let’s learn and have fun together!”

I was quite fascinated at the notion that there are males over thirty out there, who are virgins for non-religious reasons. Do you guys know any?

62 Comments »


  • cm
    April 22
    12:36 am

    B, we’d like to hear from you on the post about you…
    http://karenknowsbest.com/2011/04/21/why-are-girls-women-so-very-very-crule/

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  • Anthony
    May 24
    9:56 am

    I know of a over 30’s virgin, me. I’ll be 35 this year and still a virgin because I’m not very bright and don’t have any good looks and very unsuccessful with the ladies.

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  • Jee
    January 26
    4:59 pm

    I’m a soon-to-be 37 year old vigin male. I’m not religious at all. And I’m not the type who wants to save his dumb precious virginity until after I’m married.

    I just want to get laid with a pretty girl. That’s it! And perhaps have a pretty, sweet girlfriend. I’d want to have one-night stands if I could. You know, experience all this casual sex that I missed out on in my youth. Nothing wrong with that.

    But due to my mild schizophrenia and social anxiety I’ve been friendless and unkisssed virgin all my life. I even have problems getting friends, let alone a romantic interest. I just don’t know how to.

    The people that can pull this off are truly super-humans in my book.

    I’ve been told I’m quite handsome. But this counts as ZERO if the confident, social aspects are not there.

    People on the net tell me “wow, you’re 37 and a virgin. How did you do that? Gotta be hard. Must’ve been so many temptations out there along the way?”

    My answer. NO. Not at all. What temptations. I sat in my room all the time, in front of the PC. Never had any friends to go to a party with or meet girls.

    In other words, IT’S NOT HARD AT ALL to be an old virgin. Just don’t go out!!! Simple!

    I see sexuality and romantics to be my nemesis, my enemy. It’s caused me so much unbearable pain by it’s absence. I’m not meant for a sexual life. That much is obvious.

    And let’s face it. It’s kinda taboo, but I don’t give a fuck: Women at my age are not exactly what you’d call hot. Whenever I see young girls (18-25ish) I think, oooh man I wish I had a girlfriend. But when I look at women my age and older, I think, YUCH. HA! I’m not missing out on much am I.

    And I’ve never been fond of children. They stress me to no end. Even my nephews. It’s the energetic, busy nature of them that I just can’t stand. So from a clinical, scientific point of view, I shouldn’t have sex either. Because the purpose of that is, let’s face it, to have children. We humans make it out to be so much more than this, but it’s a lie. It’s a way to make us produce children. And I don’t want that.

    So will be the Eternal Virgin.

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  • Freedom2U
    August 2
    4:58 am

    When someone understands and Loves, they will love you weather you have a colostomy bag or not. Mike has bigger things to address than his virginity. Could it be during the colitis time (weak point) in Mikes life, that this is when an evil spirit invades the thoughts and starts the whole twisted ideas, that has obviously taken over in Mikes mind. Mike is Catholic and made a statement that is not biblical about divorce. Turn to the Word for wisdom (study bible), NOT religion. Religion is man’s way (doctrine) to get to God. Non denominational and biblical is God’s Word to you (God’s way). Back to Mike. Confusion, fear, and pride, are all courtesy of the devil. Profiling women, generalizing, bearing false witness projects a superiority and falsely accuses. Not good to imitate the accuser(dark). Turn to LOVE. Focus on your monetary value as worth is opposite of what true richness is. Statistics: sure you can follow the world and embrace all the statistics you want. Does this make you worldly smart? Does it make you feel better about your virgin insecurity? Does it lead you down that road that promotes hate (or begins to) toward women while making you think you sound so intelligent? After all you have statistics. I wasn’t asked and I’m sure millions weren’t. Every time a generalization to women as nobody leaves your lips (or typing), you offend and falsely accuse many innocent women. Read no. 9 commandment. Isn’t the devil crafty, sir? Not only that, but Mike can proclaim all this and attract men to spread all these twisted self notions along with worldly attributes and facts to influence the younger men who are virgins. For what exactly? Give up on Love, diminish a womans worth (and at specific age,too), teach younger guys to give up, etc. He was rejected at a church because of age. Suggestion: join a non-denominational church that offers group ministry. Start a relationship with God. It takes ONE person to change things. Talk to a pastor, tell him you would like to start a 40 or 50 plus single group. Give, rather than receive. Does Mike want to know what true love is? Read John 1. Do you want to know what makes a wise man? Proverbs : King Solomon. Do you want unparalleled Truth? Turn to the Word, John. ….and the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. LOVE. PEACE. HOPE. FAITH. WISDOM. …Let you heart retain my words;

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  • Freedom2U
    August 2
    6:34 am

    B, do not throw your life away. The devil wants nothing more than to rip you away from the everlasting Love of the Father (God). For you to think that because you are a vigin, nobody wants you. This is a HUGE LIE. Another HUGE lie is that if you take your life you will be happy. Far from the truth and misled you are. The devil is preying on your mind. If you throw yourself into the world, it will regurgitate at you. You have love and God will protect you if you turn to Him. God created you. He created man. He created woman. Turn to the loving arms of God. Seek Him. Son, God loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for you. Please go to a non-denominational church. Please do that and go to a worship service. Please. You are worth so much. Some women are cruel, but because we are all individual, not one of us is a carbon copy of another. Let the offenders LOSE! Persevere in Love, and turn away from hate. Replace your sorrow. You can rise above this. Turn away from the world (includes addictions to PC games). Keep on skating (you have a gift). Do you teach, too? Turn to God’s Truth. Ask Jesus into your life. Be accountable to God. He knows every hair on your head, every desire of your heart. He is all knowing. Put yourself in His care. If you cannot afford a NKJV study bible ask at a church and someone will give you one. There are loving people who want to love you. You must turn away from the world and desire the love of God. BE WISE. LEARN WISDOM. FAITH. HOPE. LOVE. Don’t be fooled by the world.

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  • Why Me?
    May 13
    3:51 pm

    Hello Karen.

    I found this blog searching to see if there was anyone else similar to me. I figured I’d share my story for your ‘male virgins’ section.

    I’m a walking movie title…The 36 year old virgin. Never had a girlfriend, been on a date or even kissed a woman. No, I’m not a Christian saving myself. I’m actually an atheist. I never intended to be a 36 year old virgin.

    All throughout school I was a socially awkward and an ugly kid (picked on a lot). I had a terrible stuttering problem growing up all way up until my early 20’s (I had to take speech therapy classes). I don’t know, maybe that hampered my ability to start talking to people and developed some sort of social anxiety. As a result, when I reached adulthood I didn’t have any friends. Although I don’t stutter nearly as much as I use to, I don’t think much has changed since I was kid. I’m still an ugly guy, probably about 3 or 4 out of 10. How do I know this? Well, every time I try to approach a woman they either ignore me or suddenly start doing something (look away, get up and leave, text or talk on the phone, etc). They give no sign that they are at all interested. I have absolutely no experience in speaking to women. Even if I did approach, what would I do? What would I say? Science, science-fiction, computers, video games and classical music are my topics of interest. I’m guessing that doesn’t get too many women excited.

    On the few occasions that I did muster up enough courage to say hello, I was quickly rejected. It’s pretty clear to me that women just do not view me as a viable option. I tried to change that once. I started exercising, eating healthier and lost some weight (50 lbs to be exact). I bought new clothes, stopped playing video games and starting going to a few different local events. Nothing changed. Still ignored, still rejected. I now have gone back to playing video games most of the time. It helps the days and nights go by.

    I have never considered paying for it…but I don’t want to die a virgin either. But I’m starting accept, that’s just how my life is going to play out. It’s just who I am. I wish I had someone that I could relate to around me.

    I have joined dating sites before. I send messages but rarely get any responses. When I do get a response, I would try to start a conversation, but they would never respond again.

    Only one person knows I’m a virgin. A female friend of mine, we was co-workers. I didn’t tell her, she just figured it out somehow and just asked me if I was. I didn’t answer but she said, “that’s good”. She has tried to give me advice but she wouldn’t ever try to set me up with one of her friends. This is when my other issue comes in. The reason why is she’s a christian. And she just wouldn’t set an atheist guy up with any of her friends. She insists that I’m a good guy and not bad looking. I think she just says those things to be nice and to keep my confidence up. Not that it should matter but I’m a black guy. And I don’t know any other black atheists. It’s just something else that makes me different from everyone.

    Anyway, it is what it is I guess. Have a nice day.

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  • shane
    May 4
    1:15 pm

    Hello. i am a 33 year old virgin male. Its strange for me for i was always tall and good looking and had friends, not a geek growing up and was initially a athletic person. But, i was very very yery shy and low on confidence overall.
    i think back and in high school i had friends and played sport. In high school i wasnt overly popular with girls at first but then i went to a new school and i was very popular.
    In fact in my second high school i was very popular, i had like a fan club and girls would ask me out and give me letters and apparently it said i was hot in the girls toilets yet for some reason i was incredibly shy around girls and always nervous.
    I remember in primary school one pretty girls seemed to like me and i had a pretty girl friend t age 12 i had a pretty girlfriend.
    My second school lots of girls liked me, all sorts, pretty and hot, mostly younger than me, some clearly sexually experienced, hotties and some not so hot but for some reason, despite having lots of friends and girls liking me i was very shy and low on confidence.
    I left school and when i was 17 i had my first (real) kiss with a very pretty girl. we ended up going out and i had some experience with her but we didn’t go all the way and i blew it(the relation ship).
    Ok so i admit in my younger teens i had some experiences but i don’t really count them, inappropriate and all….(my sister and a friend)
    i went from no confidence to LOTS of it. i have memories of going out and to parties and kissing girls, i have fingered girls, ate girls, had blow jobs but i have never had sex.
    I feel like i went from no confidence and being shy to being very confident and not shy at all.
    BUT, i just didn’t know how to treat girls and i think then my drinking came into play.
    I had a GF that i adored and was so pretty but at first it was all about her and her friends and i stayed sober, but then i got high n drunk around her n killed it.
    I went on to get some other kisses and some times where i gota blow job or got to a girls vagina but every time i was drunk and/or high and never went all the way. There were times where i couldn’t get it up or keep it up.
    I think i had my standards set high too.
    i also remember i only seemed to attract young girls. Seriously, everywhere i went, my school, on the street, parties, out and about, young girls liked me.
    i was popular and i would get girls asking me out or waving, saying hi or whistling etc yet i really did waste it all.
    I think this makes it worse for me, i wasn’t obese or a geek or had pimples or short or bad teeth or ETC yet for some reason i had no confidence.
    Them i was so confident but alcohol destroyed me. It ruined my sex life and relation ships.
    And then i got so into anime i was more attracted to anime girls than real girls.
    i was way too into video games and played on line games allot.
    My drinking was almost my first love too.
    Anime, video games, drinking, etc consumed alot of my time.
    Now iam older, not slim like i was, not as in a cool/in group as much as i was, i live alone, dont have as much $ as i used to, let myself go a bit, etc.
    I dont go out as much as i did for a while there.
    My penis isn’t big. I have a beer gut, play video games, watch anime and i dont go out as much as i sued to.
    i like humiliation porn so that holds me back.
    So, iam stuck with regrets of being popular and having attractive girls like me ( i was really popular everywhere i went for a period there yet didn’t gain confidence some how and even when i was very confident i wasted it) i always liked and wanted to be alone but now kind of regret what i wished for.
    Don’t get me wrong i like having my own place and my own freedom, not being tied down or controlled but at times i get bored and feel like there needs to be more to life.
    i love my solitude and freedom but life gets boring and depressing.
    YET, i masturbate to small penis and virgin humiliation porn clips and it is a perverted means of wanting to stay a virgin.

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  • shane
    May 4
    1:30 pm

    I guess long story short i was so very shy but very popular to then not shy but blew it to now not very confident because not so young,not in perfect shape nor wealthy and i am attracted to girls too young(for me) and my penis isn’t BIG(no porn star) and i got into porn to much, including anime porn and then porn clips that basically tell me that i will be a virgin for life and it turns me on….

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  • Bee
    May 9
    2:46 pm

    @cm:
    ??

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  • Cool Blue
    June 17
    9:27 am

    I am NOT a virgin,but actually feel like one,as my sexual life has been very limited. I am tall,muscular kind,and good looking.Thick hair,gifted body. Even been in show business. People THINK I have had tons of women, but no ! Only two brief encounters. I am very particular,and I guess slimmed down the prospects. But I must be attracted. Plus, living in a damned Conservative area(That thought system,with religion,is a plague) people get married really young,or have kids out of wedlock,and are OUT of circulation. Funny,hot married women approach me all of the time ! One gorgeous one called me for YEARS. Than I cut it off,in anger. Unfair to me,and her husband.I have been told that I intimidate women. Today, so many have lost the art of conversation,and are not approachable .”Women love you”. I am told to my surprise! But who ? LOL Married,fat,too young,too old ! Plus I will NOT pursue ! Hey girls;Quit the hard to get! Life is short. I will NOT chase a coy women,and latter perhaps, be accused of stalking ! Some of us just don’t get the breaks. As JFK once observed:”Life is not fair” . So I just stay fit,groomed,and cool about it all. It can be hard,but better that,than misery.

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  • K M
    September 12
    2:35 pm

    @CindyS: I am 38 now , i am short , fat , bald head ( have hair only on sides), bankrupt. I mostly stays at home , dont go much outside of my room in home. In public place i avoid any eye contact with females. In my old school mates if ever they accidentally meet me in public place i show off as if i am happily married.In net I use pic of other handsome guys to talk with females and mostly i prefer ladies who are stress in life coz they are easy to talk. Since my 30’s i prefer talking ladies (in net only) who are in 50’s and more.

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  • KM, no need to reply three times with the same text.

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