The Thirty Year Old Male Virgin…
Monday, June 11, 2007Posted in: I Heart Harlequin Presents, Male virgins
Over at the I Heart Harlequin Presents blog, they were talking about the fact that so many Presents titles seem to have the word ‘virgin’ in them. (Ya don’t say?) The actual post was a mite boring, as many of the posts over there tend to be, but I came across an interesting comment that caught my eye:
“I love to read about virginal heroines, and when it comes to reality, believe me, there are virgins over the age of 18. I was one of them. I had my first boyfriend (now my husband) at the age of 21. And he was 30 at that time, and guess what, a virgin himself! Of course I expected him to be experienced (because I read so many Presents books:)), but he soon told me he was not, and I thought, ok, why not? Let’s learn and have fun together!”
I was quite fascinated at the notion that there are males over thirty out there, who are virgins for non-religious reasons. Do you guys know any?
Anonymous
June 11
8:25 pm
There is a show premiering on A&E this month a ( a woman who helps out people dating and one of the guy on the show is a virgin and I think she asks him if he gay, which I think is an insult.
I was a virgin until 25, wished I would have waited though.
Indida
June 11
8:50 pm
Never known any.
On top of that, I have never known any who were for religious reasons either. And I have been to a ton of churches.
My own time limit is 30. I guess guys don’t make it that long.
Eve Vaughn
June 11
9:40 pm
I once read an old Harlequin Presents that had a male virgin, actually it was kind of hot because although he hadn’t had sex before, he thought about it a lot an the heroine found him satisfying.
Sharon Cullars
June 11
10:29 pm
Now, Karen, you know I had to go find a Salon.com article for you on the growing demographics of over-30 virgins, most of them males. This is different than the other article I posted here (I think).
I was a middle-aged virgin
Jenn
June 11
10:30 pm
I think that book was by Susan Napier Eve and it was hot!
I was surpised. I thought it would be kind of boring.
I guess I am cynical and my first thought was what a line that guy spun her. I mean it is not like a woman where most of the time you can tell if the a female had ever had intercourse.
Shelly @ Bewitched
June 11
11:54 pm
I haven’t known a single virgin that wasn’t one because of religious reasons. I have to be honest and say I would be a little worried if someone was 30 and hadn’t had sex yet (and not because of religious beliefs). I’d wonder about him….
Monica Jackson
June 12
12:40 am
What she said. The only 30 year old virgins I’ve known were gay and they were only virgin as far as … you know.
Jaynie R
June 12
1:51 am
Nope – don’t think I’ve even met anyone who made it past 20
Sex is one of the best things in the world – denying yourself seems like some sort of weird self-punishment to me.
Anonymous
June 12
2:52 am
I would prefer to cut my veins before reading a Harlequin romance. Having said that, I’ve never met a 30 year old virgin, BUT I did meet one who was 26. In my ignorance, I married him. And even a couple of years later he had not gotten any better…
Karen Scott
June 12
5:39 am
In my ignorance, I married him. And even a couple of years later he had not gotten any better…
Is it a bad thing that I laughed out loud when I read this? *g*
December/Stacia
June 12
5:50 am
Suuuure, he was a virgin too. What a coincidence!
Lila Dubois
June 12
7:33 am
Every guy I’ve ever met who was a virgin past 20 was a virgin because no self respecting girl would take off her clothes in the same room as him. Social retardation is SO ATTRACTIVE. You can’t pay attention to me when we’re talking I’m not going to bet that you will retain an attention span long enough for me to have a good time.
CindyS
June 12
9:37 am
My best friend married a guy who was over 30 and a virgin but then, he had no social graces, was short, fat and partially bald with that combover and no, he was not rich. I’m sure he wasn’t bald and stuff when he was younger but he is crass and crude and thinks nothing or farting, coughing up flem etc in any setting.
He’s a good guy at heart but there is not one iota of sex appeal to this guy and I’ll never understand what she sees in him but that’s life.
CindyS
Teddy Pig
June 12
11:40 am
So would the non-religious 30 year old male be living in his mothers basement with a severe alcohol problem playing WOW till 2 in the morning every night?
Honestly I even think most religious guys saying they are virgin at that age lie. Lie lie lie like a cheap rug. Just because they are bad in bed does not mean that ex-girlfriend might not still pop up some day.
Anonymous
June 12
12:41 pm
My husband was a virgin through his mid-20s. He said what kept him out of bed was the AIDS scare. Mind you, he’d lived in a metropolitan area at the time, so it’s understandable.
Clare Stanton
June 12
1:33 pm
Damn it! I deleted my own post.
Elle has an article in this months issue about asexuals. Apparently, there are plenty of people who don’t want sex. Enough people, that Doctors are now hesitating to call a lack of libido a ‘disfunction.’ Could it be a new sexual frontier? The Land of No Sex. Yep. A-Sexuals even have their own dating site. A place where they can get together … and not have sex.
MERLIN
June 12
2:18 pm
I imagine you’ll be shocked and stunned to learn that I wasn’t a virgin at 30.
I suspect that I work with a few genuine computer geeks who are though.
“It’s not all about sex you know ?” as one of my ex-girlfriends told me (about 30 seconds before I dumped her).
M.
Karen Scott
June 12
2:34 pm
“It’s not all about sex you know ?” as one of my ex-girlfriends told me (about 30 seconds before I dumped her).
Shit that was funny.
MERLIN
June 12
2:39 pm
Actually in a way I agree with her Karen. With an intelligent woman it’s not necessarily all about sex.
The problem was – that in this particular instance – the young lady in question had a stunning body and virtually no brain and it was all about sex.
Yeh, I know, I’m “shallow” sometimes. It’s a man thing.
M.
Marianne LaCroix
June 12
7:34 pm
I agree with Jenn, if a guy told me at 30 he was a virgin, I would immediately think it was a fib. LOL
Jenn
June 12
8:34 pm
Yep. A-Sexuals even have their own dating site. A place where they can get together … and not have sex.
That is so funny!!!!!!!!!
Eve Vaughn
June 12
9:35 pm
Jenn, I think it was Susan Napier. I like her stuff. I really did enjoy that book. I think it really depends on the author and how it’s conveyed as to whether the book will be enjoyable or not.
roslynholcomb
June 12
10:44 pm
I like male virgin stories. One of my WIP has a guy in his mid-twenties who is a virgin. I’ve met several guys like that. But none at thirty. I dunno, I think its kinda sexy, as long as its not a religion thing. I like socially awkward Jimmy Stewartish kinda guys. Especially when they meet a really, really bad girl. I read a Harlequin a long time ago about a professor and a showgirl. He wasn’t quite a virgin, but definitely lacking in experience. It was very steamy. I’ll have to check out this Susan Napier book.
roslynholcomb
June 12
10:50 pm
Oh goody, RT compiled a list of virgin hero books.
http://www.romantictimes.com/books_themes.php?theme=90
Anonymous
June 13
6:36 am
Do I know one? I am one. (currently 34)
While in my teens I hid under the religion umbrella for safety, I realized it was just a defense mechanism. (caught one parent in the act cheating on another)
I worked out my trust issues a while back, but it put me behind the social curve in a lot of ways. Now, the difference isn’t that great…but in college it was huge.
So if it isn’t for religious reasons…why am I stll a virgin? I think the big reason is that the woman I date has to understand that it’s not something I will just jump into…and that is increasingly harder and harder to find. I also don’t drink, which probably doesn’t help with the perceptions either.
In the end, she has to understand and accept me for who I am. And if she is used to sex being an important part of the relationship, she’s probably going to go elsewhere…either because she doesn’t want to wait, thinks I have no sex drive, thinks I’m gay or, as seen in other posts, it just seems weird.
If people want that sexual part of the relationship sooner rather than later, more power to them as we all have our list of what is important in a relationship. At the same time, I’m still going to wait for the woman who will wait for me.
MERLIN
June 13
8:24 am
Dear Anonymous,
I don’t drink either.
Does it affect my sex life ?
Yes – it makes me about 10 times randier.
M.
Amie Stuart
June 13
2:48 pm
WOw Anonymous that was kind of sweet. There’s something to be said for having sex with someone you care about–vs a one night stand.
I’ve never met a male virgin over the age of 18, but I have a friend who had female virgin friends in their early to mid 20′s.
Merlin you made me laugh……..
MERLIN
June 13
5:27 pm
Just for the record (and as we’re being honest about things here) I don’t do one night stands either.
I only ever sleep with women I like and it takes me a while to get to like them.
Then they start getting “funny” ideas about moving in…….
M.
paul
February 2
10:04 pm
hi there, i’m 36 comming 37 and still a male virgin..never bothered me, never will. its just soemthing i never think about, i prefere to have nice times with everyone and share my love around!!
Karen Scott
February 2
10:08 pm
Paul, I suspect you are indeed pulling our leg.
cumhitherglobal_admin
February 3
12:43 am
With my looks its a miracle I wasn’t one of these. God bless sympathetic hookers and fat-walleted fathers of homely teen boys!
~Capo
Anon
February 18
9:44 pm
I am a male virgin who turns 30 this summer. This bothers me a lot, not only because it makes me feel “nervous” around women (I AM attracted to them), but mainly because I find it hard to approach women I genuinely do like and would like to get to know better. I didn`t think much about it when I was younger as I was an “emotional” guy, but now I just wish I`d gotten it over it, instead of it being a major problem for me today.
I need to try to do something with this issue, because it makes me real unhappy and I don`t see it changing any time soon if I don`t address my “problem”. Happy for any advice, especially from females.
Karen Scott
February 18
10:30 pm
Hey Anon, if you check back tomorrow, you’ll see that I’ve thrown the question out to the readers of my blog.
Fear not, these ladies will be gentle with you!
William Robinson
August 15
6:24 pm
Hi there all!
Ok here goes. I am a fit, healthy male, English, world-travelled (been to 62 countries), hard-working, 6ft 5ins tall (always banging my head on doors lol). I will shortly be 50 years of age (in less than two months). I adore women, but you’ve guessed it – I am still a virgin.
Why? I guess I never had the chance to lose it. I am not particularly religious, although I’m no atheist. I work with mostly women and I get on great with them. I don’t really know why I am still a virgin. My looks aren’t film-star great but they are not that bad. I am known as a very polite and courteous person. What can I do? I fully expect to be a virgin on my 50th birthday, which will be very soon.
This is all true, I sincerely promise.
ras jay
April 20
3:45 pm
I myself am a 30 year old man and a virgin. I’ve always been extremely shy, and I now have spent enough time without love or sex to view it objctively and rationally. I never want children, and so there is no need for me to fin a woman. I’m not gay (in fact, i’m downright homophobic), and I’m not lying… and my reasons for celibacy are not grounded in religion, but in simple logic. Love is a series of chemicals that make us feel closer to another person long enough to raise our children (who need constant care for many years- from which arises the biological need for the parents to remain together). Sex is not spiritual (and I am an intensely spiritual, not religious person), but is a couple of sentient beings reducig themselves to base animal activity for the sole biological purpose of procreation. And so not all 30 year old male virgins are religious or gay… some of us are merely rational.
Mike L.
September 22
8:01 pm
I’m a 53 yr. old virgin. I never thought life would work out this way. Here is my backstory-no I’m not gay, but I was always shy around women.I never had the confidence to ask for a date. I got colitis at 20, and I never owned a car until I was 33. First date was at 35, and the last one was 8 yrs. ago. I dated 5 times in all. I never enjoyed it. At the time in life when most folks get laid and pair up, I had to fight a tough illness and had no money. Today I’m worth six figures, and it’s nice to have that, but there are NO dating prospects anywhere. I did not know you can and will “age out” of the dating market.
After 40 it’s pretty much over. I kept hoping, but I was fooling myself. In the USA only 5% of men over 40 ever marry, and only 1% of all women over 40 marry. The partners aren’t there. I must learn to be single and enjoy it. I’ve handled many divorces as a paralegal, and I see what married people go through. I’m sorry I missed out on all that great sex. I do feel thankful I didn’t contribute to fatherless America or the welfare rolls.
I never had to deal with the agony of divorce either.
I guess I’m weird. I grew up with a large dysfunctional family, and my parents never encouraged me to date let alone marry. If you don’t get laid by 21, you are moving in the wrong direction. I wouldn’t want anyone to end up in my shoes. Date early, find someone to be with in bed, or you will feel terribly lonely at the end of the trail.
The regrets of what I missed will haunt me forever.
Karen Scott
September 22
8:29 pm
Hey there Mike, I’m really sorry that you feel your sexual life is over at the tender age of 53. If you come by tomorrow, you may be able to get some advice from some of the readers of this blog.
I hope you can make it.
Chris
November 10
9:15 am
Well, I’m not sure why Karen would think Paul up there is joking but I guess that is just how society in general behaves these days. Quite pathetic, imo.
I never understood why sex is such a big deal to so many people. If you don’t have it by 20 you are a loser. May I ask why? I never went through a messy divorce. I’m not going to die of a hideous sex related disease. I don’t have kids with 8 different women that I never see and can’t afford yet I’m the loser. Go figure.
In any case, I’m 36 going on 37, a male and a virgin. Much like ras Jay up there I don’t see the point of sex. I’ve never been interested in kids nor marriage. In fact, due to that I’ve never been on a date. Never needed to. If I dated, I would be leading people on and that would be a waste of their time and my own not to mention that it wouldn’t be particularly fair to either one of us. I just never got the “I have to have it” mentality. I have to eat and sleep but I’m pretty sure not having sex won’t kill me. If it did, I would have died 20 years ago.
Anyway, you asked if there are virgin men over the age of 30 for non religious reasons and I’m one of them.
Virgin, atheist, male and over 30. Disease free, kid free, loads of free time and most importantly, happy.
Whether you believe that or not.
T
December 28
5:18 pm
Hi, I had a brother inlaw who lived with his parents until 37 and yes a virgin. He was and still is a very good looking guy. Lots of women would approach him, but he would just joke around and never persue the chance of going on a date. Over the years it did bother him, and all his buddies had moved on and got married. Then low and behold a friend of mine had him come to a party to meet someone. Normally he’d shy away from this “set up” but this time he accepted. His brother and I encouraged him to go on a date so he accepted when the woman called. Over a month of seeing each other she got pregnant. My brother inlaw loves kids, as my kids adore him. So over a course of a year, he bought a house and provided a home, this woman had been married before and 7yrs divorced working mother also provided in sharing the finances. Everything was going great for him. After living together for over a year, they decided to marry.
So now it has been just over 3yrs, his wife is concerned. He is not interested in having sex. She is concerned she is not attactive to him. This women is a well experience person who loves sex. So for a man who had been a virgin at 37 and go on and make a life willing to risk it all? His wife is a wonderful person, she really loves my brother inlaw and knew he was a virgin. What gets me, when we are at his parents he will affectionately start kissing his wife, but she tells me, it is all a show. He does go to his parents alot to help out as well have his child visit gramma but, not to want to go to bed with his wife seems odd.
Karen Scott
December 28
6:35 pm
He’s either gay or asexual methinks.
I have a friend who’s husband was exactly the same, they are now divorced. He turned out to be a sociopath.
Mike L.
March 2
9:48 pm
A final word to all: everyone matures at different rates. What you want sexually in your teens or 20s will be different as you get older. Since I never had intimacy at any stage of my life, I’m many steps behind anyone in my age range. My life experience in terms of dating and sex is virtually zero. The prospects you do find as you get older usually come with assorted varieties of baggage. If you can adjust to their baggage, and they to yours, maybe a relationship can happen. Again–you only get one chance to be young, and the hormones then won’t be as strong later on. Having confidence both in yourself and in your sexual skills makes a huge difference in terms of being able to attract or keep any potential partners. For me it’s over, and I can’t go back. Don’t end up like me. I’d give anything to start again at 16.
It’s very hard to reverse being trapped in a virgin status once you get past 40. Your sex prospects then aren’t very appealing or plentiful. Early in life girls then women seemed to have a very negative impression of me. What caused that I never could understand, and if I’d known what was the problem I’d fix it. Sorry, some of us just won’t have any demand in the sexual arena of life. When you find that out, it’s a devastating feeling.
sallahdog
March 3
6:26 pm
Mike, have you thought about asking and really listening to what people,especially those of the opposite sex think about you?
Sometimes its hard to hear, and maybe you won’t want to know, but its a thought…
My own husband was a virgin till we met, he really had a crippling shyness around women and didn’t understand at first that I was hitting on him… He completely missed every signal.. He now gets it, but it took time..
I had another male friend who was a virgin until his late 30s who came off as a pompous idiot (he really wasnt, but his Dad was and he used the same kind of speech patterns)… It took him realizing that he was extremely off putting through the help of a therapist that allowed him to open himself up for a relationship..
It seems to me that just from reading your earlier posts and being the armchair psychologist that I am (so I could be completely wrong, and if so, I apologize) that you may tend towards the negative side or have such low self esteem that you don’t attract people…
Everyone in this world has baggage, its rare that we get a chance (and take it) to lay it down and form new (hopefully better) baggage with someone… Don’t count yourself out…
Having a husband in his 50s, who got a late start, let me tell you… the fires still burn… maybe not a hot, but they still burn and life can still be great…
We have a different relationship than we did 20 years ago, in some ways a lot better. he isnt perfect, and neither am I… I have a feeling if you saw me you would see an aging woman who wouldnt interest you because of her baggage (got kids, dogs, jobs, bills) but if you looked deeper you would see that I still have a great life and hopefully a lot more of it to live…
Your the same Mike, your older, but your not out… Don’t count yourself out so soon…
Mike L.
March 15
8:58 pm
Thanks Karen for the encouragement. I live in Houston, Tx, and generally in the South, most folks will be married by 25 if not earlier. What is left to anyone 40plus in this region would really amaze or scare you.
It’s very hard to consider dating young grandmothers, or
unhappy divorcees. You have your best and largest pool of prospects 18-30. After those years are gone, you are really gambling to find anyone worthwhile. Too many damaged people start showing up. The dates let alone partners simply aren’t there. I recently met two lovely engaging and delightful women. Both were married, one had kids and the other didn’t. I know if both were single, I still wouldn’t have a chance with either one given our age differences. Sorry–it’s not a question of giving up.
It’s facing reality of a very small dating pool out of which very very few people of either sex can find someone of value or quality. Talk to 50 plus women who are trying to date–they aren’t a happy crowd.
Hah
May 7
12:03 pm
I’m in the exact position of Chris #38. Hilarious how similar our stories are. Although, I have been on several dates.
I basically gave up on women in my 20s for that very reason. I got a late start as it is–only started dating in my mid ’20s. But by that time there was no such thing as ‘dating’, for the females it seemed like some kind of panicked progression on the ladder to marriage/kids that I wanted nothing to do with.
There have been a few close calls, but I could never seal the deal because I was pretty honest about me being a biological dead end.
It’s funny because occasionally I’ll attract some random chick out of the blue but once she finds out about my V-Card status it’s all over. I must be some kind of FREAK! The heroin addict, wife beater, or violent felon you were dating before meeting me was totally normal though. : ) Hilarious–but utterly predictable.
I recently got into shape (used to be really fat) and seem to attract attention from females, but I don’t have that pavlovian response to vagina that would get me to act on these supposed signs I’ve been noticing. Which is why I advise all men to get laid before they’re 20–if you plan on having any kind of passion at all.
Anyway–athiest, mid-30s, childfree virgins unite!
Karen Knows Best
May 7
12:24 pm
Letters From 30 Year Old+ Male Virgins, Part IV……
Yet another over thirty year old male virgin writes: I’m in the exact position of Chris #38. Hilarious how similar our stories are. Although, I have been on several dates. I basically gave up on women in my 20s for that very reason. I got a late …
CC
May 30
10:12 pm
Can you share your thoughts on this ‘Yahoo’ question
about the incidents of mockery (often done by some
‘churchgoers’) against some of the many “older” (i.e.
+30 & +40′s year old / most definitely “not teen-aged”)
Christians — that (both) are, and that have also
chosen to remain, ‘of-virgin-status-until-married’?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100530101949AAfhMrd
From what I have witnessed and observed — it does,
sadly, seem that this type of thing is being reported
rather frequently by many very ‘devoted Christians’
who say their biggest source of mockery, scorn, shock,
discouragement and even humiliation (referring to reactions
received to their decision to follow the commandment of the
Bible to wait-until-marriage to engage in sexual activity)
tend to come from the people of “the church” (yes, even
the conservative, bible-believing family-values-based,
abstinence-teaching churches) and not from the people
of “the world” (many of whom have expressed a ‘respect’
for — rather than any ‘shock’ at and / or ‘suspicion’
regarding — the devoted Christian person’s decision).
Mike L.
July 22
10:56 pm
If you are a virgin, male or female, over 21, and not having success in relationships or with dating–please get some help or advice. The WORST thing you can do is ignore your situation. At 54 I’m hopelessly out of luck in the dating world. 50 plus women are not looking for men my age, and I’m not hot enough to attract younger women. Even going down 10 yrs. in age would be tough for me.
Please don’t get into middle age and not have resolved this issue. Sexuality is one of the most crucial aspects of your life. If you don’t have a happy sex life, or can
accept voluntary celibacy–you won’t enjoy your life.
The regrets of what you missed will give you many sleepless nights and generate needless anxiety and insecurity. Learn dating skills, then practice them, or you will get left behind. Don’t end up like me.
Mike L.
September 14
10:01 pm
A final word: you can do everything right and still not land a partner out there. Looks, confidence, money, still count for a lot,but in the end no one owes you a date or relationship. If you are lucky enough to find just one person you can commit to, you’re blessed. Don’t blow it. Youth lasts a very short time. Once 30 hits, the clock runs very fast. Middle age is NOT the time to be out looking. Very few people get a second chance for a great relationship. Date early, be selective, and find a good person to build and share your life wife. My life didn’t work out that way. You DO NOT want to end up lonely in middle age. It’s very painful and almost impossible to escape from. Your dating pool is empty, and what you do find is usually not worth your time.
ashton
January 2
8:34 am
im a 33 year old male virgin! i cant really say why im a virgin i just am. I’ve kissed girls and stuff and im not dumb or slow by any means its just that right moment hasnt happened or i screw it up somehow not really sure on that. I am by no means a homosexual. There’s nothing wrong with that but i’m into women. I’m not the most attractive guy but im fairly charming and sexy from what people say. I am also not a recluse, although the older i get the less i am likely to take a chance on someone. Maybe its just a fear of the unknown or maybe i feel a lil inadiquite for lack of experience. I’m just glad to know that im not the only one out there. Kudos to all yall!
B
April 16
8:50 pm
Im a 30 year old male, semi pro skater. Ive got a very good job which pays very well but again i work from home. I play computer games ALL the time, its like an addiction. I only leave the house to go skating which i use as a form of fitness. $40,000 in debt, no friends, no family and ive also never had a girlfriend. The last and only girl ive kissed (not passionatly, never in my life have i kissed passionatly)was my mom. Im not good at socialising because i cant keep conversation going, i really have nothing intresting to talk about and loose intrest if im not being spoken to, about things i like e.g. skating & computer games. Im in great shape as ive always been very self-consicous, look after my body like a listed building, always smell great (adidas sponsorship – thanks guys for the tops trousers and shower gel etc…)
For some reason all my life ive chased girls and not one of them has been interested in me. My confidence is now non-existing due to all the negitive put downs ive delt with. So im now very, very, very, very loneley, depressed and i only thing i have to live for is my job, which i need to pay of debts. Why are girls / women SO VERY VERY crule?? They can ruin a mans LIFE. Now ive lost my mom i get no attention/love at all and i think in time i may just turn to sucide, unite with my mom and i think i’ll be happy again.
cm
April 22
12:36 am
B, we’d like to hear from you on the post about you…
http://karenknowsbest.com/2011/04/21/why-are-girls-women-so-very-very-crule/
Anthony
May 24
9:56 am
I know of a over 30′s virgin, me. I’ll be 35 this year and still a virgin because I’m not very bright and don’t have any good looks and very unsuccessful with the ladies.
Jee
January 26
4:59 pm
I’m a soon-to-be 37 year old vigin male. I’m not religious at all. And I’m not the type who wants to save his dumb precious virginity until after I’m married.
I just want to get laid with a pretty girl. That’s it! And perhaps have a pretty, sweet girlfriend. I’d want to have one-night stands if I could. You know, experience all this casual sex that I missed out on in my youth. Nothing wrong with that.
But due to my mild schizophrenia and social anxiety I’ve been friendless and unkisssed virgin all my life. I even have problems getting friends, let alone a romantic interest. I just don’t know how to.
The people that can pull this off are truly super-humans in my book.
I’ve been told I’m quite handsome. But this counts as ZERO if the confident, social aspects are not there.
People on the net tell me “wow, you’re 37 and a virgin. How did you do that? Gotta be hard. Must’ve been so many temptations out there along the way?”
My answer. NO. Not at all. What temptations. I sat in my room all the time, in front of the PC. Never had any friends to go to a party with or meet girls.
In other words, IT’S NOT HARD AT ALL to be an old virgin. Just don’t go out!!! Simple!
I see sexuality and romantics to be my nemesis, my enemy. It’s caused me so much unbearable pain by it’s absence. I’m not meant for a sexual life. That much is obvious.
And let’s face it. It’s kinda taboo, but I don’t give a fuck: Women at my age are not exactly what you’d call hot. Whenever I see young girls (18-25ish) I think, oooh man I wish I had a girlfriend. But when I look at women my age and older, I think, YUCH. HA! I’m not missing out on much am I.
And I’ve never been fond of children. They stress me to no end. Even my nephews. It’s the energetic, busy nature of them that I just can’t stand. So from a clinical, scientific point of view, I shouldn’t have sex either. Because the purpose of that is, let’s face it, to have children. We humans make it out to be so much more than this, but it’s a lie. It’s a way to make us produce children. And I don’t want that.
So will be the Eternal Virgin.
Freedom2U
August 2
4:58 am
When someone understands and Loves, they will love you weather you have a colostomy bag or not. Mike has bigger things to address than his virginity. Could it be during the colitis time (weak point) in Mikes life, that this is when an evil spirit invades the thoughts and starts the whole twisted ideas, that has obviously taken over in Mikes mind. Mike is Catholic and made a statement that is not biblical about divorce. Turn to the Word for wisdom (study bible), NOT religion. Religion is man’s way (doctrine) to get to God. Non denominational and biblical is God’s Word to you (God’s way). Back to Mike. Confusion, fear, and pride, are all courtesy of the devil. Profiling women, generalizing, bearing false witness projects a superiority and falsely accuses. Not good to imitate the accuser(dark). Turn to LOVE. Focus on your monetary value as worth is opposite of what true richness is. Statistics: sure you can follow the world and embrace all the statistics you want. Does this make you worldly smart? Does it make you feel better about your virgin insecurity? Does it lead you down that road that promotes hate (or begins to) toward women while making you think you sound so intelligent? After all you have statistics. I wasn’t asked and I’m sure millions weren’t. Every time a generalization to women as nobody leaves your lips (or typing), you offend and falsely accuse many innocent women. Read no. 9 commandment. Isn’t the devil crafty, sir? Not only that, but Mike can proclaim all this and attract men to spread all these twisted self notions along with worldly attributes and facts to influence the younger men who are virgins. For what exactly? Give up on Love, diminish a womans worth (and at specific age,too), teach younger guys to give up, etc. He was rejected at a church because of age. Suggestion: join a non-denominational church that offers group ministry. Start a relationship with God. It takes ONE person to change things. Talk to a pastor, tell him you would like to start a 40 or 50 plus single group. Give, rather than receive. Does Mike want to know what true love is? Read John 1. Do you want to know what makes a wise man? Proverbs : King Solomon. Do you want unparalleled Truth? Turn to the Word, John. ….and the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. LOVE. PEACE. HOPE. FAITH. WISDOM. …Let you heart retain my words;
Freedom2U
August 2
6:34 am
B, do not throw your life away. The devil wants nothing more than to rip you away from the everlasting Love of the Father (God). For you to think that because you are a vigin, nobody wants you. This is a HUGE LIE. Another HUGE lie is that if you take your life you will be happy. Far from the truth and misled you are. The devil is preying on your mind. If you throw yourself into the world, it will regurgitate at you. You have love and God will protect you if you turn to Him. God created you. He created man. He created woman. Turn to the loving arms of God. Seek Him. Son, God loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for you. Please go to a non-denominational church. Please do that and go to a worship service. Please. You are worth so much. Some women are cruel, but because we are all individual, not one of us is a carbon copy of another. Let the offenders LOSE! Persevere in Love, and turn away from hate. Replace your sorrow. You can rise above this. Turn away from the world (includes addictions to PC games). Keep on skating (you have a gift). Do you teach, too? Turn to God’s Truth. Ask Jesus into your life. Be accountable to God. He knows every hair on your head, every desire of your heart. He is all knowing. Put yourself in His care. If you cannot afford a NKJV study bible ask at a church and someone will give you one. There are loving people who want to love you. You must turn away from the world and desire the love of God. BE WISE. LEARN WISDOM. FAITH. HOPE. LOVE. Don’t be fooled by the world.
Why Me?
May 13
3:51 pm
Hello Karen.
I found this blog searching to see if there was anyone else similar to me. I figured I’d share my story for your ‘male virgins’ section.
I’m a walking movie title…The 36 year old virgin. Never had a girlfriend, been on a date or even kissed a woman. No, I’m not a Christian saving myself. I’m actually an atheist. I never intended to be a 36 year old virgin.
All throughout school I was a socially awkward and an ugly kid (picked on a lot). I had a terrible stuttering problem growing up all way up until my early 20’s (I had to take speech therapy classes). I don’t know, maybe that hampered my ability to start talking to people and developed some sort of social anxiety. As a result, when I reached adulthood I didn’t have any friends. Although I don’t stutter nearly as much as I use to, I don’t think much has changed since I was kid. I’m still an ugly guy, probably about 3 or 4 out of 10. How do I know this? Well, every time I try to approach a woman they either ignore me or suddenly start doing something (look away, get up and leave, text or talk on the phone, etc). They give no sign that they are at all interested. I have absolutely no experience in speaking to women. Even if I did approach, what would I do? What would I say? Science, science-fiction, computers, video games and classical music are my topics of interest. I’m guessing that doesn’t get too many women excited.
On the few occasions that I did muster up enough courage to say hello, I was quickly rejected. It’s pretty clear to me that women just do not view me as a viable option. I tried to change that once. I started exercising, eating healthier and lost some weight (50 lbs to be exact). I bought new clothes, stopped playing video games and starting going to a few different local events. Nothing changed. Still ignored, still rejected. I now have gone back to playing video games most of the time. It helps the days and nights go by.
I have never considered paying for it…but I don’t want to die a virgin either. But I’m starting accept, that’s just how my life is going to play out. It’s just who I am. I wish I had someone that I could relate to around me.
I have joined dating sites before. I send messages but rarely get any responses. When I do get a response, I would try to start a conversation, but they would never respond again.
Only one person knows I’m a virgin. A female friend of mine, we was co-workers. I didn’t tell her, she just figured it out somehow and just asked me if I was. I didn’t answer but she said, “that’s good”. She has tried to give me advice but she wouldn’t ever try to set me up with one of her friends. This is when my other issue comes in. The reason why is she’s a christian. And she just wouldn’t set an atheist guy up with any of her friends. She insists that I’m a good guy and not bad looking. I think she just says those things to be nice and to keep my confidence up. Not that it should matter but I’m a black guy. And I don’t know any other black atheists. It’s just something else that makes me different from everyone.
Anyway, it is what it is I guess. Have a nice day.