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You know, in this here Blogland, there are many things that amuse me greatly, but this post (Anon 6.05 comment) has to be the funniest damn thing I’ve come across in a good while.

The author, whoever she is, obviously didn’t read my previous post on authors and publishers who get caught with their dangling participles, around their ankles. Oh actually, looking at the date of the post, I was possibly too late to help her. Dearie, dearie me. Some people never learn.

Full rant after the cut…

“jadensinclair
Sent: Tuesday, 28 August 2007 1:14 PM
To: MGP_Authors_Loop@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [MGP_Authors_Loop] I have been quiet long enough!

SON OF A BITCH!!

DOES THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO SAY?? IT IS FUCKING SICKENING HOW ONE PERSON MAKES A MISTAKE AND YOU ALL
FALLOW SOMEONE AND GO OUT FOR BLOOD. ARE WE IN THE DAMN STONE AGES?

I SENT OFF ONE MESSAGE TO ONE PERSON AND SHE ACTS LIKE SHE
IS GOD.

I TALKED TO TERESA TONIGHT IS EVERYONE HAPPY NOW???????

THE COMPANY IS CLOSING. MOST HAVE HELPED IN THIS MATTER BY NOT SELLING, DEMANDING PRINT BOOKS THAT DONT SELL AND NOW THIS. IF I SOUND PISSED I AM!

WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT US? THAT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH, WHEN A PUTER GOES DOWN LETS TAKE A HEAD? WHO WANTS US WHEN WE DO THAT.

YOU WANT THE FUCKING SCOOP HERE IT IS…

TERESA HAS NO NET. HER DOG CHEWED THE CABLE, ONE PUTER CRASHED AND SHE IS BROKE. IS SHE GOING TO SHIT OUT A PUTER, OR BEG TO GET ON AT THE LIBARY WHEN KIDS ARE USING THE PUTER TO STUDY? THINK PEOPLE!!!! FOR CHRIST SAKES.

THE COMPANY HAS LOST MONEY. SHE TIRED TO KEEP IT TOGETHER AND FIX THINGS EVEN WHEN OTHERS WERE UTTING THEIR NOSES IN WHERE IT DIDNT BELONG. EVERYONE MAKES A MISTAKE AND YOU ALL WANT HER ASS.

SHE IS GIVING EVERYONE THEIR BOOKS/ CONTRACTS BACK ON SEPT 1. AFTER THAT THE COMPANY WILL BE FILING A CHAPTER 7. SHE IS MAKING SURE YOU ALL ARE NOT TIED UP LIKE TRISK IS WITH CONTRACTS. SO HOWS THAT FOR FUCKING YOU LIKE YOU SEEM TO THINK??? IF SHE DIDNT GIVE A SHIT THEN SHE WOULD TIE US ALL UP AND NOT LET US GO.

WHY YOU COULDNT GET IN TOUCH, SHE GOT A JOB. AND FOR ALL OF YOU WHO THINK THEY WOULD KNOW, YOU KNEW SHIT. I KNEW AS SOON AS SHE GOT IT BUT KEP MY MOUTH SHUT FOR HER. TERESA IS MY FRIEND.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER AGAINST HER THATS YOUR CHOICE, BUT STOP PUTTING ME IN THE MIDDLE HERE. I WAS FRIENDS WITH HER BEFORE SHE STARTED THE COMPANY AND I WILL BE AFTER.

IF YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN OTHERS, THEN GO AWAY QUIETLY. STOP TRYING TO HURT SOMEONE.

REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT HER GETTING TO ANOTHER PUTER IS SHIT. SOME PLACES CHARGE FOR PERSONAL USE ON A PUPLIC PUTER.

NOW THAT THE DIRT IS OUT LET THE DUST SETTLE. GETTING LAWYERS AND SUIEING WONT SALVE ANYTHING BUT GIVING YOURSELF THE REP OF BEING A TROULBE MAKER. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A CHANGE.

THIS SHIT HAS GOTTEN SO OUT OF HAND, AND YOU ALL NEED TO STOP LOOKING FOR A LEADER. IF YOU CANT THINK FOR YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE A MOJOR PROBLEM.”

Dear fucking Lord.

By the way, just in case you didn’t guess already, she’s a best selling e-book author.

Dear fucking Lord.

39 Comments »


  • Anonymous
    August 31
    7:34 pm

    The shit never gets old! Everytime I read that, I start laughing all over again.

    ReplyReply


  • Anne
    August 31
    7:41 pm

    Nice spelling… NOT. Sheesh.

    ReplyReply


  • emdee
    August 31
    8:03 pm

    Did she miss her medication?

    ReplyReply


  • Nora Roberts
    August 31
    8:06 pm

    ~GETTING LAWYERS AND SUIEING WONT SALVE ANYTHING BUT GIVING YOURSELF THE REP OF BEING A TROULBE MAKER.~

    To any and all e-pubs or those aspiring. When you’re afraid to speak out for fear of being labeled difficult, read the above. Consider the source.

    If something like the rant the above is excerpted from is part of the fear, you really, really need to develop a thicker skin, and a sense of the ridiculous.

    ReplyReply


  • Cara
    August 31
    8:54 pm

    Stop looking for a leader?

    What does that mean? Don’t look to the owner of a company for leadership? Or something else?

    ReplyReply


  • Sarah McCarty
    August 31
    9:00 pm

    I would even go so far as to say that being known as an author who meets their contractual obligations and expects their publisher to meet theirs is the kind of reputation an author wants. The kind that says this is my business, and I run it well.

    ReplyReply


  • shiloh walker
    August 31
    10:13 pm

    oh man. some people really do need to learn when to keep their yaps shut.

    Everybody has a right to their opinion. But just because you have the RIGHT to speak up in such a manner doesn’t mean you should.

    It’s that professionalism thing again. Even if it was justified, and I don’t know one way or the other, but even if it was justified, would anybody speak like that to an employer, co-worker, or even employees if you’re in a supervisory position, you’d lose your job before you even finished said rant.

    If you shouldn’t say it in the day job, you shouldn’t say it while wearing your writing hat either.

    Man, all this crap is making some of us epubbed authors look really, really bad. We’re not all nuts, I promise.

    ReplyReply


  • shiloh walker
    August 31
    10:15 pm

    dang, forgot to preview…

    that third paragraph should have read

    It’s that professionalism thing again. Even if it was justified, and I don’t know one way or the other, but even if it was justified, would anybody speak like that to an employer, co-worker, or even employees if you’re in a supervisory position? If you did, you would lose your job before you even finished said rant.

    ReplyReply


  • December/Stacia
    August 31
    10:26 pm

    So, would I see a regular GP about my mojor problem, or do I need a specialist?

    ReplyReply


  • Barbara B.
    August 31
    10:37 pm

    I hope Jaden Sinclair’s not one of those authors/editors. That would be sad, yet unsurprising.

    December, when I had my mojor problem a course of penicillin cleared it right up! No need for a specialist. Unless you’ve got stage III mojor. Then you’re just shit out of luck.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    August 31
    11:01 pm

    So, would I see a regular GP about my mojor problem, or do I need a specialist?

    I wondered who would be the first to crack a joke about Jaden’s Mojor problem, heheh.

    Anon 8.34, I’m exactly the same, I’ve never laughed so much in my life! Precious, absolutely precious!

    ReplyReply


  • December/Stacia
    August 31
    11:08 pm

    It was a toss-up between that one and something vaguely dirty about getting my mojor working.

    Mr. Mojor Rising, perhaps?

    ReplyReply


  • Emily Veinglory
    August 31
    11:34 pm

    I think ‘puter’ sounds more like a name for something rude…

    ReplyReply


  • HelenKay
    September 1
    12:05 am

    Every time I read this stuff I love my publisher a little more. Too scary. And, the out-of-control rant just adds to the trainwreck.

    ReplyReply


  • Ann Bruce
    September 1
    12:17 am

    Spell Check must be her best friend.

    Wish she used it on the rant before sending it out.

    ReplyReply


  • Nora Roberts
    September 1
    12:18 am

    THAT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH,
    WHEN A
    PUTER GOES DOWN LETS TAKE A HEAD?

    I thought when a puter went down, it was to give head.

    ReplyReply


  • Sarah McCarty
    September 1
    12:41 am

    **
    I thought when a puter went down, it was to give head.**

    Okay, LOL! there’s just no way to ask for a spew alert on that without opening up a whole other tangent.

    ReplyReply


  • Lucy Christie
    September 1
    1:38 am

    First I spew from La Nora’s comment, then as I inhale and read Sarah’s “punny” one I choke! Stop. It.

    ReplyReply


  • Kayleigh Jamison
    September 1
    1:54 am

    Holy crap, Nora, you owe me a new monitor for that one. I just spit all over mine.

    And yes, this just boggles the mind on so many levels.

    ReplyReply


  • Kat O+
    September 1
    4:22 am

    I’m a bit late to this party, but I agree with Emily. Whenever I see the word “puter” it feels like a dirty word to me. Especially a “public puter”.

    ReplyReply


  • Teddy Pig
    September 1
    9:08 am

    TERESA HAS NO NET. HER DOG CHEWED THE CABLE

    Did her dog eat her business plan and all those royalties too?

    Poor dog! I say we start a fund to feed that dog properly.

    ReplyReply


  • Teddy Pig
    September 1
    9:18 am

    THEN YOU HAVE A MOJOR PROBLEM.

    I think I saw this along with “All your base are belong to us.” in a poorly translated video game.

    ReplyReply


  • Kristie (J)
    September 1
    1:41 pm

    Do you suppose it’s the same dog that chewed her homework when she was in school?
    And what about the fallowing? Isn’t it fields that get fallowed in springtime? I can just picture all the poor authors out fallowing the fields trying to get the money they are owed.
    And Nora’s comment made me shriek with laughter.
    The thought that this person is a writer is most frightening isn’t it?
    One final thought – how does one ut their nose???????

    ReplyReply


  • Mrs Giggles
    September 1
    2:36 pm

    I noticed that Jaden Sinclair’s books are published only with Mardi Gras. She’s most likely one of those blindly overzealous “I’m indebted to my publisher for THE HONOR and THE GIFT of giving me the OPPORTUNITY THANK YOU GOD HALLELUJAH!” type.

    ReplyReply


  • Barbara B.
    September 1
    3:01 pm

    Mrs. Giggles, I think Jaden Sinclair might have started with Silk’s Vault. I tried Silk’s Vault when they first opened but never found anything truly good there. Sinclair’s books never interested me and now knowing that she verges on functional illiteracy I’m glad I didn’t waste my money. The batshit craziness doesn’t help either.

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    September 1
    3:43 pm

    Loyalty is an admirable quality, particularly in spaniels. Stupid loyalty, however. . . I remember years ago when Ford Pintos used to explode and burn when rear-ended at anything over 5 mph. It was so bad, Ford had to stop making them. But some folks went out and bought the last few Pintos to show their loyalty to Ford. Go figure.

    –Jackie L.

    ReplyReply


  • Kayleigh Jamison
    September 1
    3:51 pm

    Jaden was recently signed with Siren Books.

    Diane, what the hell were you thinking?

    Does anyone else get a mental picture of Cujo, eating everything business related, mouth foaming, evil glint in his eye?

    ReplyReply


  • sybil
    September 1
    3:54 pm

    uh huh

    best selling where… and out of how many…

    my fave is the dog eating her homework

    well that is second to nora’s puter giving head, the umpa lumpas are really VERY happy living with nora me think.

    ReplyReply


  • Desiree Erotique
    September 1
    4:19 pm

    Gee, maybe I should thank this colleague -cough, cough- for giving the impression that e-book writers in general are angst-wallowing, passive-aggressive illiterates? The perception couldn’t have been better served on a silver platter to Oprah and Larry King.. heck, Jerry Springer for that matter.

    ReplyReply


  • Kay Webb Harrison
    September 1
    4:39 pm

    Since no one else has mentioned it, the Spanish word “puta” means
    “prostiture, whore” in English. That is probably why “puter” suggests what it does.
    Kay

    ReplyReply


  • sybil
    September 1
    5:29 pm

    LOL Kay… I don’t think so because that would require being clever.

    ReplyReply


  • Kay Webb Harrison
    September 2
    1:50 am

    CORRECTION: The English word is “prostitute” not “prostiture”. My ability to spell in Spanish remains; my ability to spell in English continues to deteriorate.
    Kay

    ReplyReply


  • Ciar Cullen
    September 2
    4:58 pm

    Something in Nora’s posts (there have been a few elsewhere) about small press authors shying away from outing their troubled pubs irked me at first. The more shit that comes out, and the more I read her posts, I realize that I’m over that fear. Part of the trouble is that if you are new, and the publisher is the equivalent of Darth Vadar, you don’t know better and believe for a while what they tell you: you suck, you won’t do well anywhere else, abide by the rules or suffer. It’s like an abusive marriage. Fuck that. Triskelion sucked, I had horrible troubles with Amber Quill, I’ve had no troubles to date with EC, LI or Samhain, and damn it, I’m a good person ;o) I’ll never eat turnips again. Skin officially toughened.

    ReplyReply


  • Becka
    September 2
    5:23 pm

    Incidentally, a cable that connects your “puter” to the ‘Net costs all of a few bucks at your local Radio Shack. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

    Unless, of course, said dog ate her cable router or, perhaps, her cable *provider*… which wouldn’t necessarily shock me, considering all the other stories I’ve been hearing. 😛

    ~~Becka

    ReplyReply


  • Sarah McCarty
    September 2
    6:55 pm

    *Handing Ciar a glass of champagne.*

    Congrats!

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    September 3
    5:07 pm

    I find it irritating that Jaden’s email is being splattered across the web while all the cyberstalking and vicious spew Patti/AP Miller and others have been saying about Teresa that go far beyond the line of unprofessional angry author are missing. Jaden might be woefully wrong in this mail, but publicly berating her to raise ones own self higher on the horse reeks in my humble opinion.

    ReplyReply


  • Dawn
    September 4
    9:23 am

    I say up the dose of the meds!

    I did think she’d typed “pubic puter” which would have fit in perfectly with everything else.

    Rant aside, this has sent me into multiple facial tics over the spelling.

    ReplyReply


  • Melissa
    September 6
    10:27 pm

    And I find it irritating, Anonymous, that you are hiding who you are. What about the way Jaden, Teresa and company dogged Wendi Felter and the majority of authors who elected to leave MGP prior to the closing debacle? These women spewed bitter acrimony and hate all over the web as well as to Piers Anthony. This is still very much in evidence as http://www.hipiers.com hasn’t undergone the October update yet. I also found it annoying that when I was released from my MGP contracts in May it was with a torrent of insults hurled after me. It seems that was the standard operating procedure at MGP towards the end: CAPSLOCK! angst with bitter invective with not a jot of it making any sense.

    I apologize in advance for my own spelling and grammar errors. Personally, I am still aggravated by Jaden’s apology, wherein she said she had no excuse for her post in one breath then in another laid it all at the feet of an unnamed other author and her own lack of contact with Teresa – an utter contradiction of her ill-thought diatribe above.

    ReplyReply


  • Anonymous
    September 10
    2:29 pm

    I found that liquid spewing funny, and after the day I’ve had so far, I needed a good laugh. Thanks Jaden! Now we see why some authors really need their editors. (and spell check… never leave home without it)

    Saying that, I have nothing but sympathy for the AUTHORS who were with MGP, in particular the ones caught out for a second time after suffering the same problems with Triskelion.

    ReplyReply

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