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Dear Samuel Konan Age 22 Years Old…

Monday, February 18, 2008
Posted in: Spam e-mail

Please look away now, if the liberal use of the ‘f’ word offends you.

Dearest one,

Who the fuck are you calling dearest one, you don’t fucking know me.

With no intention to offend you I pleed with you to please assist me in this problem of mine which i will need your help, however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honour it against your wish. I am Samuel Konan, 22 years old and the only son of my late parents Mr. and Mrs. Melije KONAN.

Are they dead, or did you fucking kill them you lazy, lying, conniving piece of shit?

My father was a highly reputable business man (dealing in film materials)he operated in the capital city of Mali during his days.

I doubt your father was a highly reputable anything, in fact, I doubt you know who your father is, you mother-fucking scumbag.

My fathers died mysteriously in belgium during one of his business trips abroad on octtober 14/2006.

Don’t pretend you even know who your father was, you weren’t born, you were an amoeba that happened to find a breathing vessel to cling to, you fucking pond scum.

Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth!

You are such a lying piece of shit, what do you know about truth, you spend your life trying to scam innocent people of their money, why the fuck don’t you just get a proper job like everyone else?

My mother died when I was just 4 years old on child birth according to what my father told me,

If I was your mother, I’d want to die too, you robbing greasy snake bastard, piece of crap.

The time for her delivery was complete and the doctor did not know because according to my father the doctor told them that my mother was not going through labour according to his own prediction my mother had about one month more to deliver.

If there was any truth to this, the tragedy would have been that you lived, and she died, you fucked up twat.

So before they realise she was on labour, it has taken about two days and she became very weak and could not make it during child delivery.Since then my father took me so special.

You lying, gonorrhea-infested, wanker.

After the funeral ceremoney of my late father,I noticed from his file in his private room some documents which shows that he had Deposited the sum of four million Two hundred and thirty thousand United State Dollars.(USD$4.230,000) with a bank here which I have verified and they confirm the existance of the fund.

Liar, liar, your pants are on fire! You don’t have a fucking bean, because, if you did, you wouldn’t have sent me this fake-assed e-mail. You’d be in Honolulu butt-fucking the locals instead.

Finally, they propossed that the fund has be to transfer to a foreign bank account acording to the agreement with my father.Upon this informatioin given to me by the bank i decided to contact you to help me recieve this money in your bank account.

You are such a fucking liar, you decided to contact me, because you want to defraud me of my hard-earned cash. You’re hoping that I’m as stupid as you sound. Well, unfortunately for you, you fucking stupid robbing lying scumbag bastard, I’m not.

But please i want to beg you by the almighty God to be faithull to me. And tell me if you will not, because of my age cheat on me. I will like to come over to your country and finish my school and settle down for life.

I’ve got a good place you can settle down for life. Oh yes, Her Majesty would only be too pleased to keep you settled for life at her pleasure, you fucking ejit.

If you like we can as well go into a joint business of any type in your country. So if this mail is acceptable to you i will like you to confirm by sending to me the information’s bellow :
*Full Names.:
* Nationality.:
* Occupation.:
* Address.:
* Phone No.:

In your fucking dreams. You are a fucktard of the highest order. Calling you pondlife, would be doing a disservice to the noble creepy crawlies that inhabit ponds.

Thank you very much and may the almighty God continue to protect you
and your family.
regards
Samuel Konan.

And hopefully lightening will strike you down and kill your lying arse, you fucking c*nt.

Yours sincerely,

Karen Scott

25 Comments »


  • azteclady
    February 18
    4:50 pm

    Not that you have any strong feelings on this, eh Karen?

    ReplyReply


  • katieM
    February 18
    5:06 pm

    Hey! I received that letter, too. How many people is he trying to scam?!? Worse yet, how many did he manage to scam?

    ReplyReply


  • azteclady
    February 18
    5:21 pm

    Yet another variation of the Nigerian Scam *shrug* One would think that adults would know better than to fall for the ‘get something for nothing’ gambit, but apparently sense is anything but common.

    ReplyReply


  • Jenns
    February 18
    6:07 pm

    I’ve lost track of how many of these emails I’ve gotten over the years. And they always annoy the hell out of me.
    Way to tell ’em, Karen!

    ReplyReply

  • Hmm, I’ve never received one of these letters. Must be I don’t come across as *choking on laughter* receptive as you Karen. šŸ˜€

    ReplyReply

  • I used to get this crap four or five times a day until I switched to a G Mail account. I still resent illiterate asswipes who have nothing better to do with their time. They might as well carry around a banner that reads Too Good To Work For A Living.

    ReplyReply


  • TMS
    February 18
    6:57 pm

    I get these letters all the time. They are annoying.

    Capo~oddly, I get more of these in my gmail account than in my yahoo account.

    ReplyReply


  • Rosemary Laurey
    February 18
    7:38 pm

    I’ve deleted a few similar one. Do they really think people are that stupid? Obviously.

    Junk mail is the bane of the 21st century..

    But at least it seems you missed out the offer to give you a twelve inch penis.

    Rosemary

    ReplyReply

  • You gotta love these con artists that can’t even bother to spell correctly. šŸ˜‰

    I think Samuel’s cousin or something emailed me a few weeks ago.

    ReplyReply


  • Barbara B.
    February 18
    7:54 pm

    Rosemary Laurey said-
    “But at least it seems you missed out the offer to give you a twelve inch penis.”

    Don’t forget the discount rates on Levitra, Cialis, and Viagra!

    ReplyReply

  • Check out Tom Smith’s song
    The Most Trusted Man in Nigeria

    ReplyReply

  • Sadly enough there are plenty of people who fall for these scams. Like PT Barnum once said, there’s a sucker born every minute.

    ReplyReply

  • Karen, you’ve said what a lot of us probably feel every time we get this trash in our inboxes. NBC Nightline did a story on some of the folks behind these scams.

    ReplyReply

  • Karen, you’ve said what a lot of us probably feel every time we get this trash in our inboxes. NBC Dateline did a story on some of the folks behind these scams.

    ReplyReply

  • In the whole big scheme of things . . . . who gives a flying fuck about a piece of spam?

    I generally find your blog hilarious, but to get your knickers in a knot over stupid shit like this?

    I think you have a lot bigger fish to fry than one Samuel Konan.

    ReplyReply


  • Nora Roberts
    February 18
    10:32 pm

    I get a gazillion of these in my spam folder. Constantly. Do they think we’re idiots? Some of us must be or this wouldn’t continue.

    I like to think I sent Karen’s response to each and every one of them. It’s a nice feeling, even if I just delete this FUBAR from my spam folder every freaking week.

    It’s not a PIECE of spam, Ima. It’s a constant barrage of this crap. And there are probably people who just have some sort of brain blockage who fall for it.

    I wish the people who generate this shit would die, horribly.

    ReplyReply

  • If I was your mother, Iā€™d want to die too, you robbing greasy snake bastard, piece of crap.

    LMAO. I don’t know how people can say such blatant untruths. I know I may be superstitious but I wouldn’t speak death and my parent’s name in the same sentence if they were still breathing.

    ReplyReply


  • azteclady
    February 18
    10:38 pm

    Nora Roberts said,

    I wish the people who generate this shit would die, horribly.

    At the very least, I would hope that all the horrible and sad things they claim have happened to them, would.

    ReplyReply


  • Karen Scott
    February 18
    10:55 pm

    In the whole big scheme of things . . . . who gives a flying fuck about a piece of spam?

    The relatives of some of the elderly (and not so elderly) people who get scammed to the tune of thousands of pounds Ima, that’s who.

    ReplyReply

  • Karen you are such a jinx because I was just checking my mail and I receive this!!!

    Good Day,

    A customer of ours who may relate to you (perhaps) in Singapore died
    three years ago in Tsunami tragedy in Indonesia leaving behind an
    estate/capital (US$42.9M with interest) in a bank here where I work, till date
    nobody has come forward or put application for the claim. Please log
    on to this websites for more information about the Tsunami tragedy.

    During the bank private search recently for the late gentle man
    relatives your name and email contact was among the findings that matches the
    same surname as the deceased (name WITHELD for security reason) who
    died intestate with no Will or next of kin. To maintain the level of
    security required I have intentionally left out the final details.

    I urge you to come forward since I can provide you with the details
    needed for you to claim the estate/capital so that I can be gratify by
    you, in this way $17,160,000.00 for you and $25,740,000.00 for me and my
    colleagues that will do all the crucial part in the bank to have the
    claim release to you promptly.

    The email is from Cheng Koh. I think he may be friends with Samuel Konan. LOL

    ReplyReply


  • Jackie L.
    February 19
    3:25 am

    I get the you won the lottery in England ones. They’re so cute. And you Brits are so generous, allowing the rebellious colonists to win your lotteries, without even playing.

    ReplyReply


  • Dawn
    February 19
    2:10 pm

    I get loads of invitations to send my bank account details in order to get a share of many millions on a regular basis. I am also very desirable to women in Russia who want to meet up with me. I also have a very small penis that I didn’t know I had because I also get a stack of messages inviting me to “go harder for longer” etc. And I have numerous accounts with NatWest, Barclays, Royal Bank of Scotland, that I must click on the link to verify my account details in order that my account isn’t closed.

    Aren’t I just the lucky one?

    ReplyReply

  • These letters are hitting email accounts with a regularity that surprises me, yet I acknowledge that I shouldn’t be surprised by anything these days.

    I would hope that no one is actually naive enough to give anyone their information. I could only hope.

    ReplyReply


  • Jenns
    February 19
    7:05 pm

    And how about all of the Lonely Hearts stuff? I’ve gotten offers to *meet* Christian Singles, Mormon Singles, Catholic Singles, Jewish Singles, American Singles, Conservative Singles, Liberal Singles, Asian Singles, Russian Singles, Italian Singles, Irish Singles, Wealthy Singles … Etc.
    Hmm. Either they figure I’m really pathetic or I’m that much in demand. šŸ˜‰

    ReplyReply


  • laura
    February 19
    7:22 pm

    The latest one I’ve gotten was from Master Sgt. So-&-So in Iraq, who had made investments in Iraqui oil and needed help moving the profits to the US. Started out “Hey buddy, can you help a soon to be veteran?”

    Asswipe.

    ReplyReply

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