coercion- “the act of coercing; use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance”.

rape- “any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person”

Same damn thing, even according to the dictionary. Even if coercion is generally considered mental, it’s still just as bad (in fact, often times more damaging). I hate it when in books the Doms push the subs into situations they don’t like, and then it’s all supposed to be better because the sub ultimately gets pleasure out of it. Maybe my view is colored as a rape survivor, but if someone tried to push me into a situation I don’t like, I’m sure as hell not going to enjoy it. And yeah, this is where I freely admit I have control issues, and no way in hell is anyone ever going to be tying me up, blindfolding me, or gagging me.

According to my friends who are in the lifestyle, the reason the Dom/sub relationships work is because the sub is up for anything, and ultimately holds the power. I’ve read too many of these books where that is not the case. There are some accurate ones out there, but I’ve read a lot of ones where the Doms are in control, they’re pushing, they’re deciding what’s best for the sub, and there’s not even a safe word.

Again, not very sexy, in my mind.

It takes all sorts I guess.

Other appeals of the slave fantasy seem to be that there’s security and comfort in a clearly defined set of instructions and responsibilities that come with a corresponding security in a definite external source that is responsible for the safety, security, care, and comfort of the slave. In other words, a slave may be asked to do demeaning things, but that slave knows that there will be a payoff eventually–an orgasm at the end of the scenario, f’r'ex, and that the slave’s needs will be provided for.

Slave fantasy is inappropriate and not very politically correct. Much like coerced fantasy (I don’t favor the term “rape fantasy” because rape is about power rather than sex, and the coerced fantasy is about the abdication of control in the fantasizer), it doesn’t have a big place in our society. But it’s still there as part of the scope of human fantasy, hence erotica writers will write about it.

I’m mostly okay with it, as long as the book’s tone makes it obvious that it’s a fantasy–it’s hard to articulate, but in the books that squick me, the actual actions and behaviors may not be all that far from vanilla, but the attitude and general tone of the book carries some kind of vibe that sets my teeth on edge.

Just as there’s complete insistence that all menages must be MMF, never FFM; I just don’t believe that there aren’t an equal number of folks in the world who are turned on by FFM and not MMF.

But the thing is that the mindset is so rigid, and publishers are so unaware of it. They’ll back it up by saying “But we did focus groups and our readers don’t want femdomme!” Well, duh–obviously the people who buy books from an outfit completely set on maledom-only erotica are likely to be people to whose kink that appeals. It’s like the Jif company saying “We took a survey of our buyers, and they all prefer peanut butter sandwiches to roast beef sandwiches! Roast beef sandwiches would never sell!”

That said, I don’t mind a little slap and tickle in the bedroom…as long as I’m the one doing the slapping.

That is how I found out my friends were in the scene. And trust me, there are some things you *never* want to see your friends doing (and no, I’ve never again just let myself in, no matter what my friends say).

I always thought mentioning that a story has mild bondage/spanking in it was enough, but I bow to the folks in the know.

I hear what you are saying, but the particular publisher I’m thinking about does mention spanking/bondage as well as use the BDSM label.

I figure folks who are in the scene can’t be very happy that it’s being appropriated for all kinds of things that have nothing to do with BDSM.

@GrowlyCub- I agree that they are slapping the BDSM label on books I personally wouldn’t consider part of the genre, but I’ve got a pretty high tolerance on what I can handle. Some people don’t, and even the slightest amount of spanking or restraint-play upsets them, so the label is a good thing. Yes, most of the time it’s just leading to higher sales, but if it keeps even one person from reading something that would upset them, then it’s good enough for me (I personally wish books containing rape were labelled so I never accidentally buy them).