Comments on: Dilemma Friday: Would You Tell Her She Stinks?

By: Melissa Blue

Melissa Blue — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:35:06 +0000

I have an unusually sense of smell. Seriously, I can smell sh#$ on a fly from 100 yards away. And I had this woman at my old job who smelled like she decided to roll around in funky vagina, three-day-old non-washed booty and armpit atrocities. Every day in the summer. And, for some weird reason she wanted to come into my office. Small office with no air flow. I didn’t say anything until she stood in front of the office fan with her arms up.

I called her supervisor and found out that there had been several complaints. The supervisor had already talked to this woman. Since I was stuck, I said nothing directly to the woman. This woman knew she was funky and did nothing about it.

Now not every body is like that. For someone who is UNAWARE it could be a tight rope, but I’d want to know if I reeked of funk. But, it just depends on what you are comfortable with.

By: Shiloh Walker

Shiloh Walker — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:32:44 +0000

If it’s a work situation, I’d let the manager handle it…that’s one of the reasons she is there for. Outside of a work situation, I’d try to broach the subject as best I can. I don’t much care to see people mocked over things like that.

By: Marianne LaCroix

Marianne LaCroix — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:41:46 +0000

I actually had to do this, tell a work collegue that she needed to bathe regularly. SHe was a patient care tech and I was the nurse in charge for the evening shift. The problem was just horrid and no one in management approached her. So I did. She was hurt, but I tried to be as gentle as I could. The situation did improve. But it was a hard thing to do, but the air DID clear.

By: Louise van Hine

Louise van Hine — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:05:07 +0000

i’m late for the Friday dilemma. These types of questions end up in the advice columns routinely, and the best solution I have seen to this is – the anonymous gift of a high power deodorant. I have been using the absolutely wonderful natural product called “Lavilin” – it is not an anti-perspirant, it is literally an anti-bacterial, which kills the smell and doesn’t interfere with your body’s natural need to perspire. Lavilin is expensive, but long-lasting and dead-on effective. There is also a foot deodorant (which I have never needed.) The solution to the smelly colleague is, get a jar of Lavilin (of the appropriate type, foot or body), put it in a nice giftwrap box with a card “From a friend” and put a nice note in it saying something pointed but polite like “To improve your relationships with your colleagues, from someone who respects you and cares.”

I had a situation beginning to develop with a colleague who is from India, and I have noticed that some Indian natives tend to use fragrances rather than deodorants, and in this case it was definitely not covering up the body odor. If I hadn’t been whisked away from the project so fast I would have done the gift-wrap box thing with her.

By: Throwmearope

Throwmearope — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:32:38 +0000

I worked with a surgeon who didn’t bathe. He was from France. (Really, not just an anti-French joke, swear.) We tracked a serious infection to his fingernails. We had a friendly conversation in French (so nobody knew what we were talking about.) I told him when in Rome, you can do what you want. When in the U.S., fricking take a daily shower. (Not exactly, but close.)

The second infection we tracked back to him, we called him in front of a committee and told him if we tracked a third infection back to him, we would go after his license.

Because Emmy is right, in the med biz lack of hygiene is dangerous to others.

By: anoni

anoni — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:26:51 +0000

Something similar happened to me once. I was the one with the BO. I was pregnant and my hormones were doing crazy things to my deodorant. I didn’t realize it though. Someone I worked with took me aside and mentioned it. I was embarrassed, but also SOOOO grateful. She wasn’t rude, just let me know in a polite way. I changed deodorants right away and the problem went away. I’m still thankful she took the time to tell me!!!Be a good friend, tell her, but be kind about it!

By: Eve Vaughn

Eve Vaughn — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:35:12 +0000

Yes, I’d tell them, especially if they were the butt of jokes. As a matter of fact, I had a manager once ask me if I could talk to the “stinky co-worker” because her odor seemed to be of a female nature and he wanted it to come from another female. Turns out she wasn’t aware of any problem went to the doctor and learned she had an infection, so sometimes telling someone could help them medically as well as clearing up what I’m sure is an embarrassing situation.

By: Emmy

Emmy — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 18:39:37 +0000

I work in the healthcare industry. Lack of simple personal hygiene like hand washing can KILL one of her patients, so not only would I tell the worker to clean it up, she’d prolly get fired the next time someone had to point it out.

By: Janice

Janice — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:39:20 +0000

I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling someone I work with. I’ve worked with a guy with EXTREMELY smelly feet and I couldn’t tell him. It was bad. I was dying inside. On the other hand I have NO problem telling someone like my sister to go take a shower for the love of god.

By: Lori

Lori — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:04:11 +0000

I’d hope someone would tell me if I had a case of the stinks! I do think I’d tell the person but as gently as possible. As Peggy said, it’s often a case of something else happening. But I know I want to know things like that myself.