West, while I agree with you here:

Agreeing to co-parent, get along with, and act like adults, sparing the child from growing up-albeit however temporarily- with parents who hate each other, that is the honorable thing to do.

it’s also true that people don’t always have that level of maturity by the time the accidental baby is in the oven. So to speak.

And so perhaps at that point in time, they don’t have the clarity to foresee the consequences of marrying someone you don’t love, quite likely don’t know, and perhaps don’t even like.

IMnotHO, YMMV, of course.

Julia Quinn had a hero who had hated his previous bride (The Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever) but he actually said something about not missing her during her funeral. Julie Garwood had a heroine chant ‘thank you God’ when she found out her abusive hubby was dead (can’t remember that title, hero was Gabriel).

So, kill them off, but don’t torture the hero/heroine with false regrets. Of course, those examples are historicals, when divorce was not really allowed.

Sam

And I really, really hate the married-cause-someone-was-knocked-up plotline. I hate it with a fiery passion that leaves scorch marks. Because getting married to someone you don’t love and will eventually resent and not be able to get along with is *not* the “honorable thing” to do. Agreeing to co-parent, get along with, and act like adults, sparing the child from growing up-albeit however temporarily- with parents who hate each other, that is the honorable thing to do.

Married young, begot two kidlets (who are adultlets now *gulp*) and became increasingly miserable as we grew into different people than who we thought we were marrying.

Yup yup. I married fairly young, and my husband was 17 years older than me. It took about seven years to realize I was growing into a person who couldn’t make him happy, but I kept trying, mostly for the sake of our kids. It took another seven before I gave up. It was making me miserable trying to be what he needed, and he was a million miles away from being the person I needed. I asked for a separation in September, and it was like a crushing weight on me was suddenly gone.

At this point, I don’t know if I’ll find someone else I can love–and it doesn’t matter. Having someone isn’t worth putting your own happiness and love for yourself in the crapper.

A divorced hero/heroine is cool by me, as long as they’re honorable in their dealings with their ex. The psycho ex thing doesn’t do it for me, though. Been there, done that, with two of my ex’s exes, and I never want to experience that again, even vicariously.

Married young, begot two kidlets (who are adultlets now *gulp*) and became increasingly miserable as we grew into different people than who we thought we were marrying.

Got divorced and had a few rather rough years.

Now we are back to wishing each other happiness; the kidlets have good relationships with both of us. The ex remarried and is happy. I’m in a long term relationship that’s heading towards marriage and I’m happy.

So yeah, it would be rather hypocritical for me to resent divorced heroes or heroines, no?

And yet… it’s all about how it’s written. Why did they marry, then divorce? The stereotypical “the ex was psycho” can work, when it’s well written, but I find it more interesting as a rule when there are layers to the exes and not just to the hero/heroine.

And it’s perfectly fine with me if the reason for the divorce is “I didn’t want to die that unhappy” (thank you, Dee *hug*)–if it’s well written.

I’m curious though-what’s your take on divorced heroines?