Comments on: Dilemma Friday: Would You Ask Strangers For Help?

By: Fae

Fae — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:40:10 +0000

But that’s the thing AL, some of us wouldn’t have gotten there. Getting there as stated would be impossible due to the way I live my life. So I can’t just accept “Suspend belief, pretend you got there exactly as stated” because I wouldn’t. Period. That’s like saying “Pretend you’re a fundementalist christian.” Would never happen and is so far out of the scope of my reality I cannot fathom it. Same thing here.

I do not have the mentality and lifestyle to ever be in the situation stated.

By: sallahdog

sallahdog — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:36:13 +0000

but here is the thing, AL, is that cyber cries for help, just like asking for help from real life friends isn’t likely to get you far if your as deep in the hole as the situation stated…

So are you fixing the problem, or just delaying the inevitable..

By: orannia

orannia — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:01:13 +0000

I have no words. I think I would do everything I possibly could before I turned to friends and family. I have been learning of late that family and money DO NOT mix. But then, everyone has to make that decision for themselves.

Where I reside chemotherapy is paid for the Government and the Cancer Society provide a lot of support. And I don’t mean to pry, but did the family not have mortgage protection insurance?

By: AztecLady

AztecLady — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:52:52 +0000

Yes but if the situation is as stated–nevermind what you would have done different before getting there, assume you *are* there–would you rather keep your friendships or feed your kidlets?

By: Teddypig

Teddypig — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 00:44:20 +0000

Venus wins!

By: Venus Vaughn

Venus Vaughn — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:29:27 +0000

I think it was a Lisa Kleypas book I read that said this:
Friends last longer the less you use them.

By: sallahdog

sallahdog — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:10:06 +0000

I am not knocking those that do ask for help, and have given help in the past. It would not be my first move in this situation though… I would be more likely to ask my church for help, or real life friends… Although some of my cyber friends are also real life friends, so I might throw myself at their mercy…

I own enough property now, free and clear that if I had to, I could sell off anything with a mortgage (even at a loss) that I could still have something to live in (it wouldn’t be the ritz, but it would be a roof over our heads)

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:23:16 +0000

I’d be more likely to solicit my friends for ideas rather than money. I’m one of those people who believes that there’s always another idea to try. And I’d make sure I tried ‘em all.

I’m also one of those people who believes one of the jobs of the government that takes my taxes should be in providing me, and the rest of my fellow citizens, with a social safety net, and considering the years I’ve paid into it, I would go through those official channels as much as possible. That’s what they’re there for. The internets is for pr0nz.

If it turned out to not be enough, for whatever reason, I’d declare bankruptcy. Good friendships will get you through a patch of bad credit better than good credit will get you through a patch of bad friendships. I’ve lived poor before and I can do it again if I have to.

By: Treva Harte

Treva Harte — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:41:01 +0000

Ignoring the other issues because they could be changed or modified and getting to the “would you ask for help if things were desperate” question — well, no. I grew up with a parent who kind of bounced from emergency to emergency and someone always bailed her out with no strings attached. I think it’s a knack you either have or don’t. I don’t. Everyone has different survival skills, I guess.

By: kirstensaell

kirstensaell — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:38:18 +0000

In Canada, if you declare bankruptcy, creditors can’t touch your residence or your car (not sure if that’s the case elsewhere). So that’s what I’d do. Sure, there’s a stigma attached to declaring, but for something like medical and funeral bills, I wouldn’t feel like a failure.

Of course, in Canada, there would be no medical bills to deal with…