25 piped up to “Dilemma Friday: Would You Take The Money?”

1. Amarinda Jones Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 am

   1 “You believe him one hundred per cent, because as far as you are concerned, your son has no need to lie.” I would fight for justice. As much as I love money, no one messes with my family.

2. Shiloh Walker Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm

   2 Fight for justice. Love money, but family and the safety of a child will win out every time.

3. MB (Leah) Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm

   3 This would all depend on how much my kid would be put through the ringer and derided by the media. I’d want justice and to make sure that just because someone is famous, that they shouldn’t get away with something as heinous as child molestation. And also to keep this mega star from doing it again. But at the same time, if it would keep my kid from having to go through months and months of hell and being dragged through the mud himself and questioned on his motives, then I might take the money to keep him out of it. If there were a way to do it and keep him out of the limelight then I’d go through the trial.

4. sallahdog Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm

   4 since this mirrors the first time Michael Jackson was sued, I would think of it this way, that non trial, settlement cemented in a lot of peoples minds (mine included) that he actually did molest that kid… Michael Jackson was hurt by it, probably more than a trial where his high priced lawyers could have torn that kid to shreds… I don’t know that a trial would be the best thing for my kid.. But I have to say, I don’t let my kids hang out alone with adults, having “sleepovers”, like the kids that were practically handed to MJ on a plate, either… I don’t give a crap about him being the “eternal kid”, its just not kosher.. I thought it odd that all MJs friends were kids, and kidstars (like Macauley Culkin, Cory Feldman) when he was an adult… I have friends who insist he didn’t do it, but I believe he did, and its probably why I am not in mourning over his death…

5. Anya Howard Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm

   5 Shiloh Walker said, Fight for justice. Love money, but family and the safety of a child will win out every time. I’m with Shiloh on this. Money won’t heal the damage to a child, but fighting for justice can start the process.

6. Fae Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 4:03 pm

   6 If it’s a civil case, as you said, then the entire point of it is to win money, not send the person to jail. You can’t get jail time in civil court, only be made to pay monetary damages. So, since the entire point of bringing a civil case is to get money, not prove a crime, then yes, I’d take the millions. If someone wants to fight for justice for their kid being molested, civil court isn’t the place to do it.

7. FD Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 4:23 pm

   7 Being British, this one’s a moot point – our law works differently. You would not be suing, you’d be pressing criminal charges. And really, given I believe my son, it’s not about justice per se, I’d be thinking of the other children who might be in harm’s way and balancing that against the potential distress caused to him by any attendant publicity. Although, again, being a British minor he would be protected under law in the event of a trial. Certainly money wouldn’t come into it one way or another. Ugh.

8. Anon76 Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 4:46 pm

   8 Wow, I’d def be worried about having my child dragged through the mud by high-powered attorneys. But at the same time, could I (or my child when he or she is grown) live with the fact that accepting the money and remaining mum may damage other children who come in contact with this adult. I keep thinking of all those poor kids (now suffering as adults) involved in the church scandals. Silence is not a good thing. However, as Fae said, this was mentioned as a civil case. That is definitely not the first route I’d take. I’d be wanting the SOB in jail. A civil suit could always follow.

9. SarahT Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm

   9 I would pursue the court case. Definitely. If I thought the guy really did molest my child, I’d have to ask myself how I’d feel if someone else had failed to take the bastard to court in the past, thus leaving my child vulnerable to attack. I wouldn’t want to do that to another family.

10. md Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    10 My child and his well-being come before anything else in the world. This question is a no-brainer for any decent parent.

11. Fae Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    11 My child and his well-being come before anything else in the world. This question is a no-brainer for any decent parent. Well, you know, a decent parent wouldn’t have let their young son have sleepovers at some adult man’s house, no matter how famous he was. So the decent parent thing is kind of moot in this case, imo.

12. kirsten saell Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    12 Well, you know, a decent parent wouldn’t have let their young son have sleepovers at some adult man’s house, no matter how famous he was. So the decent parent thing is kind of moot in this case, imo. Have to agree with Fae. Especially if the man in question was as, well…weird as the man we’re all really talking about. Love him or hate him, you have to admit MJ was a bit of an odd duck, and no amount of soft-spoken charm and extolling of his admiration for the pure innocence and loving nature of children would get me past that oddness and have me put my kids under his watch for an afternoon, let alone a sleepover. I love kids, too, but that amount of fixation on children is going to set my alarm bells ringing no matter who it comes from…

13. Maili Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    13 Take him to the court. Mostly to protect other children. It may be too late to protect mine, but it’s not too late to protect the others. It’s every adult’s responsibility to protect children whenever possible. Of course, that depends on two things: a) my son doesn’t want to go through with it (in this case, I still won’t accept the money), and b) whether I could stop myself from ripping the celebrity into pieces. I doubt I could. (FYI, publishing photos of children under 10 in British newspapers and magazines without parental permission (whether parents are celebrities or not) are illegal. When a newspaper wants to publish a candid photo of a child without parental permission, the child’s face is blurred or pixelled, even if their parent is a celebrity. For trials, children or sexually abused victims’ names are withheld from the public and the media.)

14. Emmy Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    14 How could he come and offer me money, when I has already killed him dead?

15. Fae Posted: Jul 3rd, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    15 How could he come and offer me money, when I has already killed him dead? Emmy wins for best answer. *hands trophy*

16. KristieJ Posted: Jul 4th, 2009 at 2:30 am

    16 I know I’m going to get booted out of the Mama bear club for my answer – but sometimes kids lie. It’s the second paragraph that causes me problems. I speak from experience, having raised two sons, that there were times I couldn’t take what they said at face value and had to do further investigating to find out the story behind the story. I wouldn’t launch a civil suit like that without having my son talk to professionals. If and when it came time and I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was telling the truth, I wouldn’t launch a civil suit. His and my motives would always be in question and I wouldn’t want that hanging over his head the rest of his life. The publicity would only make things worse for my son and money wouldn’t fix the problem. Instead I would see that he gets all the help he can. I would go to the media with all guns blazing to expose this person and protect others, but I wouldn’t launch a lawsuit.

17. Sam Posted: Jul 4th, 2009 at 2:46 am

    17 I’ll be the weird one. Can I discuss it with my son? Tell him that money has been offered and the ramifications of taking it vs. going to court. And let he boy decide. At 12, I would hope he has some sense of what he wants. Does he want the guy to go on his merry way to hurt others vs. does my boy want to testify, become a focus of news media etc. If the boy says ‘I don’t want to go through all that’, we take the money I guess. If he says ‘what he did was wrong and I’m willing to stand up…then on we go. Sam

18. Alexandra Posted: Jul 4th, 2009 at 5:08 am

    18 Being offered millions would only make me 200% sure that this man molested my son, and I would fight. I would do what I could to keep my son out of the news, but I would make sure the news got out that the molester offered a $22 million bribe to shut my kid up.

19. Las Posted: Jul 4th, 2009 at 7:22 am

    19 Well, you know, a decent parent wouldn’t have let their young son have sleepovers at some adult man’s house, no matter how famous he was. So the decent parent thing is kind of moot in this case, imo. Absolutely. It’s the reason why I’ve never been convinced that Michael Jackson molested those kids–any parent who lets their child attend unsupervised sleepovers with an unrelated adult just because he’s famous is capable of instructing their child to lie about being molested. Now, let’s say I lost my mind and naively let my son sleep over at the home of a famous guy with obvious mental issues, and my son tells me he was molested…I’m with KristieJ on this one. I’d do everything I could to make sure that he was telling the truth (I come from a family of social workers and psychologist–many kids lie about this stuff. A lot.) before pressing any charges. And it’d be a criminal charge. If we lose that one, THEN I’d consider a civil suit.

20. Lori Posted: Jul 4th, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    20 My kid would never have unsupervised sleepovers period and never have sleepovers at an adult’s house. Because there are no innocent adults who hang out with kids. If a grown-up is choosing friendships with children, I say that’s enough of a warning sign to set me off.

21. Bhetti Posted: Jul 5th, 2009 at 3:53 am

    21 Well, being regrettably acquainted to this to an undisclosed extent. I cannot imagine anything more damaging to a child than having to live with the fact that they did nothing to save someone else. Or that it is swept under the carpet. Not talked about. They have been bought off. Trials are difficult. But eventually it is over and the right thing has been done. Guilt is relatively more permanent and the reaction to it shapes the person you become. P.S. Sleepovers are probably irrelevant to the essence of the question. These things happen to even the most protective of parents and don’t require sleepovers.

22. Christine Rimmer Posted: Jul 5th, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    22 I have to agree with Kristie and Las. Kids do lie and what kind of parent am I if I let my kid have sleepovers with any adult? The water in this case is so muddy, everyone involved looks creepy. Except possibly the kid. But only possibly. In the end, I would want to know the truth, would want to get to that. And then decide what happens next.

23. Seneca Posted: Jul 6th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    23 Hell no! No amount of money would make me ‘go away’. You hurt my child then you pay the price of having your ass used daily in jail. Not the price of handing me some hush money. The fact that those parents settled out of court is just one of the many, many reasons why I know MJ is no child molester.

24. Seneca Posted: Jul 6th, 2009 at 1:14 am

    24 Being offered millions would only make me 200% sure that this man molested my son, Why? If I was accused of something that horrible you can bet all the money on the planet that I would do everything in my power to make it go away FAST. If paying the liars off is going to do it, then that is what I am going to do. Even though I am innocent there is no way I am going to risk going to prison just because there are some stupid people on a jury who will believe some good acting. Damn right I’ll pay someone off to go away.

25. Masha Posted: Jul 6th, 2009 at 8:53 am

    25 Everyone seems to be assuming that the (alleged) molester is an adult. But kids get molested by other kids. It doesn’t say that the molester isn’t someone young with Harry Potter/Miley Cyrus levels of fame. I’m still curious why the hypothetical parent didn’t immediately go to the police about this . . . If he/she went straight to a civil case without trying to get a criminal case, it makes him/her look greedy.