Comments on: Ex-Spouses Can Be Good In Bed Too, Surely?

By: Chantal

Chantal — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:47:24 +0000

I think I get most annoyed by heroines who’s husbands have died. Even when they had a perfectly good relationship, when it comes to the sex, the comparisons are still made. Something along the lines of, “he never made me fee like you do”.

I feel the same way. Normally I don’t mind cliches in romance, but this one bothers me.

By: Karen Scott

Karen Scott — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:36:34 +0000

I think I get most annoyed by heroines who’s husbands have died. Even when they had a perfectly good relationship, when it comes to the sex, the comparisons are still made. Something along the lines of, “he never made me fee like you do”.

By: Rosie

Rosie — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:10:11 +0000

I don’t have a whole lot new to add to the mix except to say that I think it would be an interesting dilemma if a couple were good friends, raising their kids, still enjoying sex occasionally and then one of them falls in love for real. It would be nice because I’ve just described my sister and her ex-husband. They just can’t live under the same roof because they are so different, but they’ve been wonderful friends, parents and sometimes lovers to their kids. I just wish they weren’t so close so they’d each open themselves up to being with someone else.

By: willaful

willaful — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:00:33 +0000

I agree with you about finding the cliche tiresome, BUT… it occurs to me that when I read a romance and the reason given for a former marriage breaking up was that had once been madly in love but they just got tired of each other or grew apart or something mild like that, I wonder, “what’s going to stop this couple from growing apart?”

By: Amanda

Amanda — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:41:22 +0000

I guess its because the second relationship is supposed to give you that HEA that most books need??? Maybe???

By: Janet W

Janet W — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:31:56 +0000

Interesting! I can’t think of a single book I’ve read with a great sexual relationship between either sex ex and their respective ex. I can think of historicals w/widows: Mrs. Drew Plays Her Hand, Skylark … great topic? How do you come up with them?

By: MB (Leah)

MB (Leah) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:21:21 +0000

I have loved deeply 5 men including my current husband. None of those relationships ended due to crappy sex. In fact, the sex was always fantastic and I did sleep with every one of them long after the break-up in friends with benefits sort of way in between stories.

I’m still in contact with all of them and two of them I’ve met for a coffee while married to my current guy, with my husband meeting one of them.

It is nice when you’ve loved someone that you can still have a good friendship long after a break up. But in a romance novel I don’t see how having a great ex relationship would further along a new romantic interest for one of the parties. Or not get in the way.

Unless…the ex is the one who is facilitating the new romance in some way. That would be fun to read.

I’m reading a book now in which the ex is the bitch from hell and it’s really so cliched.

By: K. Z. Snow

K. Z. Snow — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:00:06 +0000

Exes good in bed? Heh. Not mine. Abusive? Check. (Gee, maybe in some cases, art does imitate life!)

By: Angela James

Angela James — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:23:40 +0000

I don’t have a problem with that plot device because my ex was (at the risk of TMI) lousy in bed and an alcoholic. And many of my friends have horrific ex stories. I know few of them who say anything nice about their ex.* So I find it quite believable

*I do have one friend who’s remained best friends with her ex, and she and her current husband actually vacation with her ex and his wife.

By: Melissa Blue

Melissa Blue — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:12:23 +0000

I wondered that too. It is a plot device one that is used for several reasons. One is to create a sympathetic character. Another is to create a conflict. Her ex’s is a buttmunch she so deserves the good guy this time. Her ex’s is a buttmunch this is why she can’t trust the hero. Sometimes an author would use to both.

And sometimes I wonder why not have her in a good relationship that didn’t work out. Wouldn’t that make for a really good conflict? ‘Yeah, this is nice, but it probably won’t last.’ Then again the author would have to prove why this relationship has HEA potential that the last relationship didn’t have.