During the RWI debacle, someone at the SBTB commented that it wouldn’t be long before there were cries from conservatives about how de ghays oppress and bully them–and not shortly after, this comment popped up at Courtney Milan’s blog.

And then, when the furor has calmed down some, someone calling itself SeaLaughing left this screed (without a link, of course):

As both a published author & a long-time supporter of the G&L community, I believe this is an example of the bullied becoming bullies themselves. What none of you seem to understand is that there are many genres & sub-genres in the field of romance. This particular chapter is concerned with paranormal romances ONLY. There are G&L romances being written & published; those are considered part of another genre. For the G&L community to insist on inclusion EVERYWHERE is like Catholics whining because they aren’t invited to the Hanukkah parties!

I really believe that many younger members of the G&L community are intent on becoming martyrs, and that saddens me. My sibling is bi, but even before he admitted this to me, I already had numerous G&L friends. I support gay rights, including same-sex marriage, but I feel many of the G&L community are seeing discrimination where none exists.

I’m of mixed racial heritage, but I look white. When I was younger, a black man accused me of prejudice because I refused to go out with him. He wouldn’t believe my refusal was due to the fact that he behaved like a complete jerk, because it was easier to be a martyr & call me a bigot than face the fact that his own behavior alienated me. I think, in many cases, the same thing is happening among members of the G&L community.

The G&L community sees themselves as being bullied by the rest of the world, and refused to look at how they are bullying others!

This chapter has the right to limit their contest to specific material, and if you don’t fit that criteria, it doesn’t necessarily indicate discrimination. They also were not accepting Young Adult stories, or Regency, or many other categories, because all they were concerned with was a narrow slice of the romance field that they, themselves, specialized in. You’re attacking them over their personal preferences, but how is this any different from those who try to make gays give up THEIR personal preferences?
Gene
I’m hetero, & I couldn’t begin to count the number of lesbians who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, insisting that I’m just “a virgin” and they can “make me like it.” I don’t hold the actions of a few against the whole, but to me, the pressure they put on me to convert me to their lifestyle is no different than the Christians who attempt to ‘cure’ gays & lesbians. And this is more of the same: you have the right to live your life without being harassed, but you have no right to harass others who don’t agree with YOUR lifestyle.

I’ve heard many people – who aren’t homophobic – complaining lately that they’re sick of hearing the G&L community ‘whine’ over every little imagined slight. It seems to me, and to others I’ve spoken with, that many gays are becoming paranoid and overly sensitive. I would like to point out that over-zealous, aggressive attacks against the heterosexuals is not the way to win converts. Trying to force others to give you respect will not work.

The G&L community claims to hate bullying, but they need to be careful that they, themselves, do not become the thing they hate.

So raising awareness when you are not treated as a full human being is ‘whining’–oh, and being excluded from events, such at the MTM contest, that you were admitted to in the past, is an imagined slight, not discrimination, you silly babies you.

(Please note I’m not talking about the novel, as I’ve not read it)

Jane uses ALL CAPS to note that the females in the story cannot provide for themselves.

Just a few lines later, she reiterates, “They can’t even financially support themselves, you guys.”

Keeping to the pattern, the review last line is,  “the depiction of these poor little she wolves who couldn’t even financially care for themselves was depressing.”

But the last straw was the very first comment. LG says, in part,

I wonder what these ladies do when they have males around. Just have sex, look pretty, and bear children? They certainly can’t be working, if they can’t even provide for themselves financially.

Seriously?

So, women like me, who make just a few cents more than the minimum wage and work over forty hours a week, yet still barely scrape together enough money to pay our bills, we are…what?

A myth? non-people? don’t exist?

Or it’s simply that we are even weaker than the female characters in the story in question?

Yeah, this hits way too close to home, so you may want to skip it.

Look, haven’t we often complained how the heroes in many a romance have to be financially successful to be considered heroic?

Haven’t we asked for more realistic characterization? (aka, “How many English Dukes can you fit at Almacks?”)

Then why in the fuck would women struggling financially be automatically weak?

Manager R has been making the schedule for a couple of months–and oh my lord it sucketh ass. (Read: we’ve spent a lot of time waiting for A to show up, while he’s looking at bones and muscles somewhere else)

Manager B was in charge of training, so there would be times when unknown-to-anyone-else employee X would show up, as clueless as the rest of us, for ‘training’ (on what? for how many hours?). Not happy with that clusterfuck, manager B tells employee C to show up for training at this time, on this day…only to send him right back home the moment he shows up (after driving 20 minutes, mind you) because “we don’t need you right now.” ¹

erm…

Manager J decided to transfer employe K to another store–realizing right after the paperwork is complete that we don’t have anyone who can cover K’s position during the hours she was available.

…

His solution? Schedule employee N–outside her availability–to cover those shifts, while scrambling to train employee S (who, by the way, sucks at it) to regularly cover those slots.

*head desk*

Best part of last week: manager A asks manager J whether N will indeed cover K’s shift on Saturday. J’s answer, “I don’t know, she made me so angry² that I hung up on her.”

*sigh*

I need a new job–three months ago.

 * * * * *

¹ The second time he asked her, right out, “then why the fuck did you schedule me for training?” She’s lucky he didn’t do it in front of customers.

² Angry because she’s “bitching” about having to work when she’s not available to do it, how dare she, the bitch.

I was busy with other things yesterday when this review went up at Dear Author, but as I was coming over to post something else, Karen had already been there, done that, and come back to post about it.

Anyway, will you look at this precious, precious gem from Sandy:

For years, I was under the assumption that reviews are for readers. However, your “review” for Player’s Ultimatum seems to be more of an attack to the author (refer to your blog title). Why you would post something so clearly venomous is beyond my comprehension.
I have read MANY books that aren’t exactly stellar. However, due to the deeply ingrained ethic of professionalism I have, I wouldn’t blast someone like this. Every word of your review reeks of personalization. Rule number 1 of any Reviewer’s code is to NOT attack punctuation and grammar. Do you know how many “Best Seller” books I have read that contain grammatical errors? Sure, my OCD mind jumps all over it, but I refrain from the personal attacks. Maybe you missed the “Personal & Professional Ethics” memo. Hopefully, human resources will make many grammatical errors the next time they send it out. (Just to be sure it grabs your attention and sticks with you, of course).

You must be one of the following : a.) unpublished. b.) bitter. c.) in a delusional state in which you believe you are the next Siskel & Ebert of the Book Reviewers or d.) completely ignorant of the fact that ANY publicity is GOOD publicity.

Here’s a perfectly “cliche” comment for you: “Pot. Kettle. Black.” I’m sure with your vast intelligence, you will be able to fill in the blanks. (Refer to your truly incohesive review, if you are confused.)

Do I really need to elaborate here?

But that’s just the start (seriously, this is like comment ten or so). Naughty Girl pops up just a tad later with this oh so generous! offer:

This does read like a retaliation. And of course Jane supporters who probably have not read the book would try to discredit the author. My husband is an attorney and I asked him if this blogger would be libel for her actions, being that she purposefully solicited information from the author for a lawsuit then slammed her work on a public forum, Koko you would be really interested in his response. So click on my name and send me an email and I will put you in contact with him. (especially if you have the emails from jane).

I haven’t read your book (I don’t read much IR books) but I think I’ll pick it up now so I can be one of the informed reviewers, not a Jane follower.

All I have to say? This. This. This. ¹

And cockpuppets.

¹ I suspect I could go farther back in history–or look sideways for contemporary posts in other blogs–but there is really little point: those who read them already know (and have internalized) them. Those who need to read and process what we are saying will never get off their high horse long enough to learn.

*

Image found in this tumblr

Okay, so I’m probably being harsh in my interpretation, but that’s how this comes across to me¹:

Let’s say, hypothetically, that my wife has written a romance novel, and furthermore, it’s quite good and is saleable. I’m wondering if anyone here has firsthand knowledge of what channel would be best for her to publish it in. Namely, a traditional publisher or a respectable online publisher. Is online publishing as much of a shot in the dark as self-publishing? Are there good resources to help find online publishers or literary agents? Does anyone have an idea of what advance and payment rates might be expected from either channel?

Also, I’m assuming you would get a literary agent for a traditional publishing, but do agents factor in to online publishers?

After a request like that, I hate to sound like a jerk, but… I would also like to have an idea of how much of a reply is opinion and how much is first hand or anecdotal evidence. I would appreciate if you would refrain from just throwing out your two cents worth unless you have actual information, and also try to explain where your information comes from.

And thanks in advance for any replies.

Huh.

Really?

If you scroll up the thread, you see that I started that thread almost two years ago with some very general information on publishing, gleaned from years (six? almost seven?) of reading about it on both readers’ and authors’ blogs. My post on the matter began and ended with a disclaimer (me=/=writer, me=/=expert, writer beware, writer do his/her own research).

The post I quoted offends my sensibilities on so many points–let me show you:

Let’s say, hypothetically, that my wife has written a romance novel because dog forbid I admit she–or, dear jeebus protect us, me!–has written such rubbish, and furthermore, it’s quite good and is saleable, not that I’ve done any research to base this assumption on, you understand, buy hey, she/I wrote it, and she/I could read it to the end, of course it’s good. I’m wondering if anyone here has firsthand knowledge of what channel would be best for her to publish it in, because it’s obviously a given that it so awesome it will be snatched up as soon as it’s submitted. Namely, a traditional publisher or a respectable online publisher, not that I really know what that means, because I can’t be bothered to research the matter. Is online publishing as much of a shot in the dark as self-publishing? Are there good resources to help find online publishers or literary agents? because I can’t spend five minutes using Google or other engine searches to find well known resources such as Absolute Write or Preditors and Editors. Does anyone have an idea of what advance and payment rates might be expected from either channel?

Also, I’m assuming, because it’s not as if it’s my business to find out–that what you are here for, suckers, you would get a literary agent for a traditional publishing, but do agents factor in to online publishers?

After a request like that, I hate to sound like a jerk, though I hide it quite well, thank you, but… I would also like to have an idea of how much of a reply is opinion and how much is first hand or anecdotal evidence, because–as should be obvious by now–my time is much too important to waste separating the wheat from the chaff. I would appreciate if you would refrain from just throwing out your two cents worth unless you have actual information, and also try to explain where your information comes from. Show me your credentials if you expect me to deign acknowledge your efforts, you peasants.

And thanks in advance for any replies.

Mind you, my reply there was very, very tempered and calm. I sincerely doubt that this guy purposely intended to come across as he did (to me). But the sheer carelessness and…well, entitlement I feel coming through incensed me. Hence, this rant.

But really, with so many resources available at the tips of your fingers, all that is required to find out about anything is to be willing to spend the time and effort to separate the worthwhile from the worthless.

Typing ‘romance publishing’ in Google yields 105,000,000 results. The first one, an ad for Harlequin. The second, an ad for Dorrance Publishing (never heard of them). The third one, Passionate Pen’s list of romance publishers and their submission guidelines. Three down, Karen Fox’s list of romance publishers. Second down from there, another list of publishers by Romance Book Covers.  And so on and so forth.

Of course, how is anyone to know which of these are reputable resources?

By spending some time reading and reading and reading.

Or perhaps, go to a bookstore and browse the shelves in the romance section, pull a book by authors with two or more novels on display (hint: likely successful enough to get the shelf space), find the publisher’s name and look into their submission guidelines (or do a Google search to see what people have to say about said publisher–hint: Dorchester)

In brief (yes, I know, too late), if it was important enough for you (or the hypothetical wife) to spend the time writing it, shouldn’t it be important enough to invest the time in researching your potential market?

*     *    *

¹ In case someone wonders why I bring this up here instead of over there: the conversations in those forums tend to have a very different tenor than they do in most blogs (and definitely here at KKB). Plus, I really rather not give the mods over there any more work.

image found at T.G.I.F. Smurf Button (beware: video ads play automatically there)

Over at Dear Author, Jane has up a very apt post on the reader/author paradigm (honestly, should be required reading). The discussion that follows is, as usual, also very, very interesting–which doesn’t mean that everyone agrees with Jane on all points, by the way.

And so it goes until we read a looooooooooooooooooooonnnnng screed comment left by EMoon(1)(2). We get all the usual–but readers don’t understand how much about publishing a book is out of the author’s hands. But readers don’t know how horrible the author’s life was while s/he was writing the book. But readers just don’t get how difficult it is to write a book.

The kicker, though is at the very beginning:

I agree readers have a right to their opinion. They have a right to state their opinion. They have a right to state their opinion publicly, in writing. This does not, however, make every reader a capable reviewer. (It doesn’t make every reader a competent reader, for that matter.)

Are. you. fucking. kidding me?

Not that this is a novel idea. Whenever authors rant about readers not understanding what the author meant, the implication is there: you are a moron who can’t read.

(1) please take note that I was very, very controlled in my reply to that comment in that thread. Not my blog, not my space to engage this…person.

(2) a commenter later speculates that EMoon is author Elizabeth Moon.

*  *  *

Okay, I’m a bit calmer now.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, here’s the deal: authors who publish their books–independently or otherwise–are trying to get readers to buy those books.

Hence, it makes sense for authors not to antagonize readers.

Which in turns means, don’t be patronizing, don’t be condescending, don’t be abusive and, above all, don’t loose your cool–at least not where readers can see it.

Because if you do, you’ll have to face the music. Free speech doesn’t mean speech without consequences.

Look, it’s not that reviewers are immune to criticism. It’s not that reviewers ‘can’t be wrong’–as I said over at DA, I’ve been called on factual mistakes from the book at least twice by the authors, so yeah, reviewers can be wrong.

But the crucial difference between authors and reviewers in the public eye–particularly people like me, who review because we want to share the love of books and have no one around who wants to talk with us about them–is that we do not get paid. Most of us publish our reviews at small, tiny, personal blogs, many of which are free blogs. If someone reads our reviews/thoughts/rambles and comments? Yay. If no one does? We still write them. Having followers or regular readers is nice, but it’s not what makes us blog.

Of course our speech has consequences, such as losing the trust of those who read our reviews or posts, but blogging is–for most of us–not a career.

For authors, however they publish, it’s supposed to be(3)

(3) I’ll concede that many people writing fanfiction are authors who publish their work, yet don’t consider it a career. This is obviously not what I’m talking about here.

So, if I may, let’s keep whatever discussion ensues over here, please. With that said…

This is what happened: remember how I posted that I’m in love with this video? Well, there’s a thread in the music area of that other forum devoted to all things Adele. Obviously I had to share the love, right? So far so good. Some people comment that they don’t get the video, blah blah and then this guy says that the video doesn’t make sense because (and I quote):

I dont get the video. the guys got a hot girl and leaves for college only to become bisexual and mess around in bed with another guy and I’m supposed to be moved ?

if your last lover was female.. finding a new man is nothing like finding “someone like you”

and

The guy went from a hottie to a man butt, that is NOTHING like “someone like you” if that YOU is female. PERIOD.

I dont hate gays, but the video doesn’t make sense.

it would have made wayyyyyyy more sense, if he had been gay at first, then found another butt to plug at college.

and

I just can’t stand it these days, throw a gay guy in there and you’ve got a “hit” simply because you’ve addressed the issue.

and, to top it all,

no way, see that would be an AWESOME video. I love all races and even gays, I just do not see the logic in the video. maybe its just me. I apologize. I can see how a guy would go from a white girl to a black girl, I’ve done it.

Seriously? I mean, really?

There are so many things wrong with those comments I hardly know where to start.

Become bisexual?

Find a butt to plug?

Throw a gay in to address the issue?

But hey, he loves all races and the gays, dontcha see. He’s even gone from a white girl to a black one, that’s just how open minded he is.

Gotta love the intrawebs–every asshole gets to spew his ignorance for everyone else to see.

My reply over there was very, very brief–otherwise I would probably gotten myself banned forever more:

If a person is nothing more than plumbing, then yeah, of course a man cannot be like a female.

If a person is a heart, a mind, compassion, understanding, generosity, and so much more…then your argument is insulting and homophobic.

Once I calmed down a bit I realized I phrased it poorly, and betrayed my own ignorance and biases, because the imbecile’s comments are not so much homophobic as they are bisexual-phobic–or rather, alternative sexuality/gender-phobic. There’s so much going on with the people we interact every day that we are not aware of, much more than what we are used to consider and think about.

Which brings me to this post by orannia, she of the Walkabout, and Embrace the Rainbow by Kris:

A challenge to help us increase awareness, acceptance and support for the trans*, intersex, intergender and questioning people in the m/m romance and broader community.

*   *   *

First image from commonsenseatheism.com

Asshole cheating drug using pastor claims that therapy has cured him of his “urges” to use male prostitutes.

I call utter and absolute bullshit on the whole thing.

You cannot cure who you are.

Blame abuse all you want if it makes you feel better, but don’t belittle so many people’s sexuality just because you can’t accept who you are.

Asshole.

This email has been doing the rounds on the web of late:

Shame on you GREAT BRITAIN..we have children going to bed without eating..elderly going without needed medicines..mentally ill without treatment..troops without proper equipment..yet we donate millions to other countries before helping our own first..99% ppl wont have the guts to copy and repost this.!!!!!! WILL YOU ???

I’ve seen various versions of the same email, some that begin with “Shame on you AMERICA”, etc.

If I’m honest, I don’t get it.

I understand the concept of charity beginning at home, but it seems to me that people comparing poverty in the West, to poverty in third world countries are either off their heads or off their meds. Or both.

The fact is, poverty is relative. A poverty-stricken child in England just cannot be compared to a poverty-stricken child in Sudan.

As far as I’m concerned, children going to bed without eating in the UK, is often down to parents who are either too strung out on drugs and alcohol to care, or too selfish and lazy to want to provide adequately for their kids, in which case, the government usually intervenes. Now compare that with the fate of the children who were unfortunate enough to be born into squalor and poverty, the likes of which, few of us in the West are familiar with.

The elderly going without meds? I’m sorry, but this is total bullshit. The elderly get free meds over here. The system isn’t perfect in the UK, but it still doesn’t really compare to the plight of elderly people in the most ravaged parts of the world.

Troops going without proper equipment? Quite frankly, we entered into this war without a proper exit strategy. This has led to billions of pounds being spent on fighting a war that is beginning to look increasingly, un-winnable. The money has to come from somewhere, and with so many people out of work, and the current economic situation, the military budget, along with other public spending is inevitably going to be impacted.

Mentally ill going without treatment? Whilst this is true in some cases, in my experience, the ones who go without treatment are the ones who refuse to be helped. Unless these people commit actual crimes, there’s only so many times you can section them under the Mental Health Act. Also, in most cases, somebody has to notify the authorities if they suspect that a person has mental problems, and unless it’s reported, how are the authorities meant to help?

There are lots of Brits who will nod vigorously at the points raised in the email above, but as far as I’m concerned, this kind of bullshit only encourages xenophobia.

There have been some key times in history that we as a nation have needed help from others. Where would we be if those countries had decided to turn their backs on us?

What say you?

I hope you get crabs and become allergic to them.

Enjoy your chuckle, asshat.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

In other news… still haven’t gotten my reviewing mojo back, and I have no idea when (if? *gulp*) I’ll get it back.

I just started working again–hourly employee in the food service industry. This translates into never having the same schedule two days in a row, let alone week to week. It also means more physical exertion than any other job I’ve ever held (and for less money than I’ve ever earned too).

On the other hand, in an economy where one in ten persons is unemployed, I’m very grateful I’m one of the nine with a job.