Katie Price

Have any of you ever attended a wedding full of lapdancers and strippers?

Well, TTG and I did last night.

The bride was a lapdancer, and she invited a whole host of her lapdancing friends and colleagues.

It was certainly an eye-opener.

It was so clichéd.

We were invited by the groom, who was TTG’s friend, and neither of us had met the bride before, so this entitled us to be as mean and two-faced as we liked. So we indulged.

I’ve actually never seen so many botoxed cheeks, enhanced lips, fake double D boobs, and orange peel-looking skin in one place. The bride, bless her cottons looked like her lips were hurting, and her black Katie Price styled hair extensions kept getting caught in the train of her dress.

TTG and I spent most of the day with our jaws on the floor, and we were mean and totally judgemental, and after attempting to converse with a few of the lapdancers, that didn’t change.

Anyway, we had a good time, even though I was the designated driver as per usual.

At the end of the night, we came home and cackled like the bad people we are, hehe…

‘It’s like having a child that never grows up – how perfect is that?’ … Mary Lynn Campbell and Silly Willy, in My Monkey Baby. Photograph: Channel 4

I don’t agree with the act of dressing dogs in cutesy doggy clothes, as if they were a fashion accessory. In fact I hate it, and I truly believe it’s an act of cruelty towards the dogs, so you can imagine my horror when I watched this programme on the telly the other night.

It’s a new form of family life, and thousands of Americans are raising a monkey as a member of their family.

These cheeky monkeys have everything a real child could want, expensive clothes and toys. Their own rooms complete with TVs. Sweets, treats, and most of all, quality time with ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’ In fact, all the love and attention a parent can give.

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I’m thinking, absolutely not, but apparently, it’s all the rage in India.

I think that a woman going for fertility treatment, and getting pregnant when she’s well into her sixties is beyond cruel, and should not be allowed.

A child should come into the world at least expecting his/her parents to live through his/her childhood, not be waiting for them to die, because they happen to be old.

What say you?