HomeReviewsInterviewsStoreABlogsOn Writing

My Best Friend’s Significant Other

Monday, June 20, 2005
Posted in: Uncategorized

Well, didn’t do much this weekend, apart from the usual visit to the leisure club, where as per usual, I swam, and the Tall Guy sat in the Hydrotherapy pool, I can’t help but wonder if the exorbitant price we pay for being members there is worth the actual use we make of the facilities…

Paul played gardener, which meant a trip to B&Q. I hate B&Q, I’ve never understood why people get so excited about going there, so what, you can get everything under the sun there, but then everybody in my town always decides to go there at the same time as we do, and God knows I hate crowds.

In and amongst my generally activity-free weekend, there was one thing that happened, which once again left me examining my relationship with The Tall Guy to make sure that we were still ok as a couple.

One of my best friends rang me on Saturday afternoon. I wasn’t sure who it was at first, all I could hear was sobbing. Of course my heart started racing, and panic set in. A hundred different scenarios flashed through my mind. At first I thought something bad may have happened to my baby sister. She’s only nineteen, and I live in constant fear that something horrid will happen to her. Some people call it paranoia, I call it knowing the world we live in too well.

Of course it wasn’t my sister, it was my friend (for the purpose of this entry I’ll call her Tamara).

Apparently she’d just walked out of her house leaving her baby with her significant other. Her first words to me were “He doesn’t love me.”

I’m a huge believer that you can’t deal with those kind of statements over the phone, so I asked her where she was, and if I needed to come and fetch her.

No. She was in her car, high up on the moors. She was trying to decide what to do with the rest of her life.

I told her to come round to our house. She was a little reluctant because she didn’t want to be around men (The Tall Guy) so I told her to stop being silly, and to get her ass over to our house now.

She agreed and I put the phone down. I told the Tall Guy to go and make himself useful somewhere else cuz Tamara was coming round, so of course being a typical man, he went to the pub with a friend.

I watched Tamara pull into our drive, and saw that she was blotchy faced, and she had huge bags underneath her eyes. She didn’t look good.

I went out to meet her, and escorted her into the house.

I sat her down, made her a cup of tea, and told her to start from the beginning.

Before I tell you her version of the story, let me give you some background info.

Three years ago, I got a call at about 3am in the morning. It was Tamara sobbing hysterically. She had caught Aidan (not his real name) engaging in explicit phone sex with another woman.

That night, I spent over two hours listening to my friend tell me that the perfect relationship that I thought they had was a myth.

She had confronted Aidan, who of course denied that he had been sleeping with this woman. To be honest at this point, I had to wonder what difference it made whether or not he slept with her, but I didn’t say this to her. I’m aware of the old adage of shooting the messenger, so I was quiet on this issue.

Tamara was devastated, so I invited her to come and stay with us, while she thought about what to do about her life.

She stayed with us for the weekend, while she contemplated her relationship with Aidan. She was hoping that Aidan would call and beg for her forgiveness, but he didn’t do that, and to me, that spoke volumes.

Tamara of course went back to Aidan, after he promised that he’d only been speaking to this woman for a couple of weeks (in my mind, you can probably multiply that by at least three weeks) and that she meant nothing to him. I was disgusted that she didn’t leave him then and there, I know that I would have. But of course, we’re all different, so it stands to reason that we react differently to different situations.

Fast forward two years. Tamara gets pregnant. At the time I recall thinking that she was making a mistake. I just didn’t believe that Aidan was the person that she was meant to be with.
As far as I was concerned after having watched their interactions since ‘that night’, I had come to the conclusion that whatever reason they were still together, it certainly wasn’t because Aidan loved her. She loved him to distraction, but I knew that he didn’t feel the same way. It was glaringly obvious to anybody watching, from the outside.

When she was seven months pregnant, I received a phone call at about 6pm one evening. It was Tamara. She wanted me to ring a certain hotel to check what type of room Aidan had booked. (He’d gone out with colleagues for their Christmas works event).

I of course told her not to be so silly, and that he wouldn’t be so stupid as to take a woman to a hotel where he knew, Tamara could have driven to at any point.

I told her to come round to the house, and once again told The Tall Guy to make himself scarce. He went to play in his office.
Apparently, Aidan had been acting funny, and now he wasn’t even picking up her calls (bear in mind that she’s seven months pregnant), she’d been trying to reach him for several hours.

She tried to call him again from my house, and this time, she got through. Apparently, he’d left his cell phone on silent, so he didn’t realise that she’d been calling (she was seven months pregnant for Christ sake.). She accepted this explanation, and felt a little better.

The next day, the Tall Guy and I were at PC World, checking out some new laptops, when my cell phone rang. It was Tamara. Hysterical. Again. I knew this was another Aidan-induced angst.

To cut a long story short, she’d called the hotel at about 2am in the morning because he wasn‘t picking up her calls to his cell, and she discovered that he wasn’t there, and had never checked in.
When he came home the next day, she confronted him about this and he lied several times about his whereabouts, before admitting that he had spent the night at a female colleague’s house, (who Tamara had met, and had immediately taken an instant dislike to) he told Tamara that he’d been too drunk to go back to the hotel, and that he had slept on her couch (yeah, I know).

Tamara of course didn’t believe him, and was absolutely devastated.

When she got to my house, and told me the tale, I decided to check something out. I rang up this particular hotel, and asked if Aidan had ever been booked in to stay there. I asked the receptionist which reservation system they used, and it was one that I was familiar with, (from my Marriott and Park Plaza manager days) and knew that if he had ever been booked in to stay, there would have been some kind of record.

The receptionist came back to me and told me that there had never been a reservation made under his name. In my mind, this meant that whatever his story was, his actions were definitely premeditated.

I gave the information to Tamara, and waited to see what she would do with it.

She of course stayed with him, it was never going to be an easy solution to leave him, not when she was seven months pregnant. I think she may have even managed to convince herself that nothing had happened between him and this work colleague.

Fast forward to the here and now, and once again, I have a hysterical Tamara in my house in another Aidan-induced state of angst.

The problem this time? He has a work-related social next Friday that he will be going to, Tamara asked him if ‘that’ girl would be there. Of course she would be, it was a works party.

She proceeded to tell Aidan that she didn’t want him to go to the party. Aidan lost his temper, and told her that what she thought didn’t matter (what?).

They had a huge row over it, and apparently, she brought up the events of the Christmas before, when he had spent the night at this female’s house. He of course got all I-thought-we’d-agreed-to-forget-about-that, (idiot) and got very defensive with her. He just didn’t understand why she would have a problem with him going off to this works party just because this woman that he’d spent the night with was going to be there. (WTF?)

In the end she left him holding the baby, and drove off.

For some reason, at this point, I recall Mary Alice’s words in Desperate Housewives, of how some of us live our lives in quiet desperation, and nobody is any the wiser. To the majority of their friends, Tamara and Aidan have the perfect relationship.

When she asked me what I thought, I decided that it was time to take the kid gloves off and tell her how I saw it.

I asked her what it was about him that she loved. All through these problems her constant mantra was that she loved him, and she didn’t want to be without him.

I asked her this question several times, I even gave her examples of what she should love about him, and she still wasn’t able to tell me.

Does he make you feel good about yourself? Does he put you and your relationship first, does he listen to you? Does he lend a hand when you’re feeling down? Does he hug you spontaneously just because he feels like it? Does he make an effort to spend quality time with you and the baby? Does he make you laugh? Is he a good father? Is he a good lover?

She told me that he was a good father, I then did my attorney bit, and asked “In what way is he a good father?”

She couldn’t provide specifics, apart from to say that he loved the baby.

I then went on a long rant about how she deserved to be happy, and that Aidan was not making her happy, and that it was time she took control of her life again.

She was mostly concerned about depriving the baby of a father, and of losing her home. (They’d only just bought the house, and they had a huge mortgage)

I then told her that she had two choices, stay with him and put up with his bullshit or leave him, and start a new life for her and the baby.

I knew she wouldn’t leave him, but I told her that by staying with him, as far as I was concerned, she was giving him carte blanche to walk all over her, and make her life a misery, again and again.

The thing is, if she ends up staying with him, I can totally understand why, after all, as materialistic as this may sound, the financial implications are a huge consideration. If she’d been on her own, fine, but she wasn’t, she had the baby to think of.

By the same token, I can’t help but feel that Tamara and Aidan’s relationship, isn’t healthy for the baby. It’s all very well providing a family unit for the baby, but how exactly does rowing constantly, blatant mistrust of each other, and the constant suspicion, help anything?

I sent Tamara upstairs to sleep (she really was in no state to drive anywhere) and got busy finding telephone numbers for her. I wrote down the telephone number of a solicitor that I knew (he was one of my friend’s father, and specialised in family matters), I also wrote down the number of our financial manager, and the number for the Citizen’s Advice Bureau.

When she woke up, I gave her these numbers, and urged her to call them, and find out what the implications would be, if she were to leave him. As far as I’m concerned, knowledge is power, and the least she could do is to make an informed decision on her and the baby’s future.

I told her not to tell him what she was doing, and then if she decided that it wasn’t in her best interest to leave him, then he’d be none the wiser.

I sure hope she leaves the bastard.

What are your thoughts?


  • Dawn
    June 20
    10:27 am

    Karen, I really feel for your friend. Of course, looking at it from a dispassionate point of view, ie not being in the thick of it, we can be objective about it. But as you say, it is her decision. Tamara is very lucky to have you as a friend.


  • Scott
    June 20
    10:48 am

    It is hard to judge from the outside. Of course it seems that she should leave him. It is obvious that his committment is no where near as strong, and quite honestly now seems only because of the child. But again it is hard to see from the outside.

    I am in my second marriage. My first had a lot of issues that came out after we got married. My ex had an ongoing affair with another woman. I ended the marriage, even though I didn’t want to loose her, because I knew it would be hell trying to repair it, and I would never trust my ex. I even told her that she would not be allowed to even talk on the phone with the woman that she had the affair with (AND she worked with her!). Which seems childish, but how do you repair something by going back to what led to the problems? In the end she wasn’t budging, so I pulled the plug on my end.

    My now current marriage went through some problems. But THANKFULLY it had nothing to do with the trust of being committed to the relationship. It had issues of self-preservation and making a better life for us. Again, it is hard to see from the outside what either of us was going through. I had a few people tell me that they would have walked a long time ago. Or others tell my that the amount of patience I had was phenominal. Though I came to realize that some of the reasons for me sticking around where real problems of my own. Issues that I needed to take care of, too. But once the problems were taken care of, everything became clearer for everyone. (And the marriage has been wonderful!) I also came to realize that the advice I gave others, or the opinions I had of others and their relationships could be so uninformed.

    OK, now that I rambled and probably made no sense, I guess I agree with Dawn. Tamara is lucky that she has a friend like you that she can turn to at just about any hour. It is hard to be objective. But hopefully Tamara will make the best decision for herself, and more importantly her baby, and that you can support her and help her along the way (as long as it doesn’t become a huge problem in your life).


  • Tammy
    June 20
    11:55 am

    Karen, it’s more than obvious that your freind should leave the jerk, but advise is so much easier to give than to take when you’re not involved. She will get to a point where she says enough is enough, until then, the best thing you can do is to continue to offer her support.

    I’m not sure I’d have been as patient with her, everybody knows that middle of the night calls are no picnic.


  • McVane
    June 20
    12:03 pm

    I agree with you, Karen, but I learned one thing from dealing with similar situations is the only person who can talk to a troubled person into leaving is the troubled person her/himself. You have said your piece and I think it may be a good idea to tell her that, whatever her decision, you’ll always be there and supportive. A bit obvious, I know, but some do need to hear it.
    It sounds like that her partner isn’t the problem, though. It’s her. I think you already knew that. You did what you thought best [I’d have done the same], so bite your tongue and hope for the best.
    I also learned that it’s not a good idea to criticise the other half because it’ll only make the half defensive [she knows him better than you know him] and feeling stupid [after all, she chose to be with him].
    She does want to leave, but she’s afraid of starting a life of her own, especially because of – as you noted – financial implications. You did a fabulous job, Karen. Good luck in being a good friend from thereon and to her to figure it all out. xx


  • Anonymous
    June 20
    12:21 pm

    I was involved in an abusive relationship for years. My friends looked on in despiar that I would ever leave him. He put me in hospital on more than one occasion, I even left him briefly and went to a women’s aid shelter. I made the mistake of going back to him. He made lots of promises, he wouldn’t hit me anymore, he loved me. I just wasn’t strong enough to leave him.
    It wasn’t until several years and lots of beatings afterwards that I got up the courage to leave him.
    My friends and family had been telling me to leave him for years, but I think I was more afriad of being on my own than I was of being beaten.

    The truth is, I couldn’t have left him until I chose to. I wish I’d had a friend like you to support me through all of it though. I lost a lot of friends because they didn’t understand why I was still with him. I was an idiot, but ultimately, it was I who made the choice. I thank God everyday that I didn’t give in and take the easy way out, because believe me, I tried, on several occasions.


  • Sharon
    June 20
    5:49 pm

    Hoo boy, I could go on all day about this one, but I, too, hope she leaves the jerk.

    Sounds like she’s perfectly miserable, and that’s a rotten place for anyone to be.


  • paz
    June 20
    5:51 pm

    anonymous, i’m glad to read that you were able to get out of that abusive relationship. i hope that karen’s friend finds the courage to get out of it, too.

    it will take a lot of courage but with the support of family and good friends like karen (who went above and beyon the call of duty), she can make it.

    btw,karen, you write that one of the reasons your friend is reluctant to leave the man is because she has a baby now and there will be a financial burden.

    question: don’t they have child support in the u.k.? just because one gets a divorce doesn’t mean the divorced parent is released from parental responsibility… i know that’s just an excuse, as is the worry about the new home and mortgage… there are other deeper issues why she won’t leave, other reasons why it seems that she never faced reality about her husband and their relationship from the very beginning…

    also, i’m just curious; with all the problems they seemed to be having did they ever try counselling? of course, both parties would have to want to attend the marriage counselling for it to work. or has your friend maybe tried counselling for herself to make her feel better about herself. there’s gotta be a reason that she’s clinging on to the person to her detriment….

    anyway, you gave her a lot of help with the numbers that you provided.

    i wish her luck (she is already lucky because she has a friend like you).



  • paz
    June 20
    5:53 pm

    p.s. how’s the other friend — the older lady with the younger cheating church going guy? hope she’s doing better and found someone else.



  • Rocio
    June 20
    7:08 pm

    This is a very hard situation. But even though it most be hard for you to accept, your friend is the only one capable of change things, and it most be on her own time. It hurt very much to see people you love get hurt and humiliated like that. I guess it depends on the person self steem or something, because some people stands too much of this shit, without even noticing that by this kind of submission they are loosing whatever little feeling of love or respect from their partners and the rest of the world, which is the worse enviroment to raise a child.


  • Anne
    June 20
    10:17 pm

    I hope she leaves him. She won’t yet though as sad as it is. Until that day comes all you can do is be there for her and encourage her to break free of this miserable life. Let her know it is NOT good for a baby to be in that environment; and, as much as she loves him, she needs to put her child’s needs first before her own. She may love him, but sometimes love just isn’t enough… obviously he doesn’t feel as strongly for her as she does for him. She needs to get out of there. Soon! Good Luck Karen! You’re a great friend to her! One day she’ll know just how great!


  • Jenn
    June 21
    1:24 am

    It is sad but no matter what you say she will have to face the truth herself and when she has had enough she will leave.
    Nothing you can do except be there. It will probably get worse before she gets fed up.
    She thinks he will change or it will get better.
    I know it hurts you to see her in this situation and it frustrates you but some women see what they want to see. All you can do is be a friend.


  • Eve Vaughn
    June 21
    2:42 pm

    Unfortunately she won’t leave him until she’s ready to and no amount of talking to her about it will change that. If she didn’t walk away before the baby, she’s not going to do so now. She’s basically in a mentally abusive relationship which is just as bad as physical abuse. He’ll screw up, she’ll cry, he’ll make promises that he’ll eventually break, but the only person who can help her is her.
    On the other hand as Scott pointed out, it’s hard to be objective when you’re looking from the outside in. I know I’ve gone through my share of problems in my relationship, but what made me stay was his willingness to work things out and realizing the good far outweighed the bad.
    My perception of this situation is that Aiden is not willing to work things out. Why should he? He has yet to realize there are consequences for his actions.
    You are doing the only thing you can do Karen, and that’s being a friend to Tamara when she needs you.


  • Jennifer
    June 21
    3:18 pm

    I’m going to be the voice of dissention here. Tamara isn’t alone anymore. She has a baby, and the baby has a father. Sure it’s easier to say to hell with it, leave him, and try to get along all alone.
    But I think she better stay with him. Of course he doesn’t love her. She doesn’t love herself. She has no life beyond Aiden and the baby. She needs a good dose of self-confidence and some maturity.
    Most of all, she needs maturity. If she and Aiden can grow together, it would be the best thing for the child. You say constant rowing isn’t good for the baby – but at the stage your friend is, she will be in a row with anyone. She’s immature and insecure. In this mess, I feel most sorry for the baby – who never asked to be invited to Tamara’s messy life, and Aiden, who could have left her ages ago but who has stayed because obviously he feels a sense of responsibility – which Tamara bette get a dose of quick.


  • Karen Scott
    June 21
    4:15 pm

    Jennifer Said:

    “But I think she better stay with him. Of course he doesn’t love her. She doesn’t love herself. She has no life beyond Aiden and the baby. She needs a good dose of self-confidence and some maturity.”

    So let me get this right, if you had overheard your significant other having phone sex with another woman, and further down the line, you discovered that when you were 7 months pregnant your partner spent the night with another woman, you wouldn’t be a tad insecure? I don’t believe that for a minute.

    Jennifer wrote:
    “Aiden, who could have left her ages ago but who has stayed because obviously he feels a sense of responsibility – which Tamara bette get a dose of quick.”

    Let me give you some further facts here. Before the events of three years ago, Tamara was a healthy, confident, secure beautiful young woman. A less jealous person you couldn’t have hoped to meet.
    Fast forward three years, everything’s changed.

    Financially, if it hadn’t been for Tamara’s financial savvy, they wouldn’t have the house they live in now. She contributed the £50k they needed as a deposit for their house. Aidan didn’t contribute a thing, yet the house is in both their names with no addendum regarding how much equity either of them put in. Does this sound like an immature person? She may be guilty of being naive, but don’t tell me that in the circumstances, you would be thinking straight.

    “Tamara’s messy life” is not hers alone, a major portion of the blame can and should be shouldered by Aidan, he’s the one who cheated on her, whether he slept with these women or not is almost negligible, the fact is, we can prove intent and premeditation on both counts. As far as I’m concerned if this was happening to me, I’d go a little crazy too.

    Jennifer wrote:
    “but at the stage your friend is, she will be in a row with anyone”

    I can assure you, the rowing is kept between the two of them, hence the fact that most of their other friends think they have a great partnership. I think I find this comment from you very strange actually.

    Frankly, I’m astounded at your lack of empathy. Let’s hope you never have to go through a similar situation in your life.


  • Jennifer
    June 21
    7:17 pm

    Maybe you should have made things clearer in your post. But phone sex – so what? Sorry – that’s not cheating on someone. What about erotic novels? Does that count as cheating? If she stumbles on her husband having phone sex when she’s 7 mos. pregnant, did she ask if maybe he needed something more than she was giving him? Where is the dialogue here?

    I don’t see how I can have empathy for someone who’s life has been reduced to three paragraphs about how she is unhappy with her cheating spouse. So far, my empathy goes out to the child, whose life sounds like it will be nothing but one drama after another with its mother.


  • Jennifer
    June 21
    7:19 pm

    May I add – you asked at the end of your post “What are your thoughts?” I should know now that the last thing people want are other people’s thoughts. So sorry mine happen to be in divergence with yours.


  • Karen Scott
    June 21
    7:29 pm

    Jennifer, you don’t think that spending a night with another woman whilst your partner, who is 7 months pregnant,is at home fretting, is a problem?

    You don’t think that’s wrong?

    What if she’d gone into early labour? As it happens, she went into labour a month earlier than she should have, what if he hadn’t been there at the time?

    What’s reading erotic novels got to do with anything?

    If I thought you really believed what you just wrote, I might well think about it seriously, but I suspect you have an entirely different agenda.


  • Sam
    June 21
    7:45 pm

    There was never any proof he cheated on her. Spending the night in someone’s house doesn’t always mean the worst.
    A lawyer would say ‘You have no case’ against Aiden. On the other hand, you have a woman who has no trust in her husband, who leaves him (and leaves her baby behind) at the slightest provocation.
    She has probably decided long ago she wants to leave her husband. I think (you asked, remember?) that she runs to you because she knows that you feel the same way she does – but she can’t take the responsibility of acting on her own. She needs you to push her along, and afterwards, you will find, that she will probably blame the break-up on you when she discovers she is no more happy or trusting without Aiden.


  • Karen Scott
    June 21
    8:12 pm

    Sam, I’m not sure that it matters whether or not Aidan had sex with the woman, the fact is, his actions were premeditated, and he lied to her several times. How is this going to lead to her trust?

    The sad thing is, once upon a time, she trusted him to the nth degree, that trust was damaged badly when she overheard him engaging in phone sex with another woman. Things have never been the same since then.

    Everybody reacts differently, but if I caught my husband talking dirty to another woman, I don’t think I could ever trust him again. How could I? Just because penetration isn’t involved doesn’t mean it’s not cheating.

    I actually haven’t pushed her prior to this. The other times she’s come to me, I’ve just been an ear and a hand-holder and done the whole, its-your-life-you-decide thing. I just couldn’t do it any more. I did tell her that whatever she decides, I will support her, and for now, that’s the stance I’ll be taking.

    She used to be such a happy person, it makes me mad to see her so unhappy, but it is her life, and as somenbody already said, it’s always easier giving advice and standing in judgement when it’s not happening to you.


  • Karen Scott
    June 21
    8:19 pm

    BTW Paz, I went to visit Flora last sunday, she wasn’t in, so maybe her and Edward the cad are back together… I’ll keep you posted. (g)


  • Dawn
    June 21
    9:14 pm

    I disagree entirely that phone sex isn’t cheating. If I found my husband having phone sex with someone other than me, I’d be devastated. So what if there was no penetration involved, as far as I am concerned, there might as well have been.

    Good on you, BTW, Karen for telling Tamara to get herself armed with information from solicitors, etc. When she does decide to make the break she will have all the ammunition she needs.


  • Rocio
    June 22
    1:02 am

    Hey I love when we have different point of view because that enrich the discussion. We all should remember that we have only the facts according to karen and her friend point of view. I know things always look different when hearing both sides. Karen, your friend is not a victim here, we are talking about a relationship which we don’t know about. Cheating don’t start and end with the fact..is more like a process we all should be aware of to work with our partners to solve them. You might kill me for this..but if I find my hubby having something as stupid as phone sex for a married man, I would try to find what is lacking in our relationship, why would my husband rather have phone sex that actual sex with me. Your friend tend to be more in the drama side. Just ask yourself this: When you have a problem with the tall guy, you panic and go find a friend to discuss it? or you stay and try to work it out with your man?


  • Karen Scott
    June 22
    5:54 am

    Rocio, I realise that there are two sides to every story, and if it had been any other issue other than cheating then I probably wouldn’t be as bothered.

    Rocio wrote:
    “if I find my hubby having something as stupid as phone sex for a married man, I would try to find what is lacking in our relationship,”

    Not me I’m afraid, when you make your commitments to each other, where does it say that cheating will be tolerated as long as you talk about it? I’m just not that touchy feely about the issue, it’s too black and white for me to give any leeway I’m afraid. I realise that this is not what “Dear Deidre” would advise, but everybody deals with stuff differently.

    As for finding out that he stayed with another woman whilst I was pregnant with his baby, there is nobody going to be able to convince me that he doesn’t need to be strung up for this.

    I know too many other couples who tried to talk it out and give it another chance after one of them was caught cheating. Distrust and suspicion eventually killed those relationships off.

    Tamara is a huge advocate of “let’s talk about it” and I know that Aidan isn’t, I know this because in the past he used to come to me to find out the woman’s perspective on things. (post-‘the phone call’) So I know they’ve talked about things until they were blue in the face.

    If I had a problem with my marriage, and talking was not gettiing us anywhere, I wouldn’t necessarily run to Tamara, but I have a few friends who I would quite happily run to.

    Me personally, I wouldn’t feel better until one of my brothers broke his legs, then we could talk about it. (g)


  • Anne
    June 22
    7:48 pm

    All I have to say is that if I found my husband having phone sex with someone, whether I were pregnant or not, that’d be it. Any form of cheating is a blatent betrayal, and just because there wasn’t penetration doesn’t mean he wasn’t cheating! To me phone sex is the same as intercourse. Being involved with any woman intimately other than me, to me is cheating. My husband knows that if he were to cheat on me, it’d be over. No questions asked… just over. I don’t tolerate betrayal on any level.

    If anyone out there would tolerate their significant other getting involved with another woman intimately on any level, they are a complete and utter fool. The cheating may start on what you might constitute a low level but they eventually that won’t be enough and they’ll work their way up the ladder of betrayal. It’s a given that if you give them an inch, they take a foot.

    Be smart people.. cheating is cheating and if you have any self respect at all it will be intolerable.


  • Rocio
    June 23
    12:01 am

    Well, I just think that cheating is probably the last sign of a broken relationship…I don´t think a healthy relationship will face this kind of problem suddenly, this most have to be the result of a deterioration process. And believe me, I´m not into let your partner belittle you in any way!!..But as respect, those are values you have to inspire in the others!


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment