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The Tall Guy and I have just returned from food shopping. My brother and sister took turns to watch the house while we were on our jollies, and somehow managed to eat us out of house and home at the same time.

We shop in Sainsbury’s because it’s the nearest supermarket to us, and they also have quite a good variety of foods that you don’t find in other supermarkets.

Paul and I were browsing through the DVD aisle when we suddenly caught a whiff of the most disgusting smell I’ve come across in a while.

It was a combination of underpants that hadn’t been washed for weeks, a body that hadn’t been in contact with soap for months, and dirty feet that happened to be blessed with that not-so-faint smell of Gorgonzola cheese, blended together with raw sewerage.

In short, it was f*cking foul.

When I looked up, I came face to face with the owner of the smell, and only just managed not to throw up in my mouth, as the stinking odour increased ten-fold, and nearly made me swoon.

I smiled faintly at him, and quickly moved away so that I could breathe clean air again.

The guy looked perfectly normal. If I had stood at the other end of the aisle where I could see him, but not smell him, I would never have assumed that such a rancid odour could come from such a person. Looks can be sooooo deceptive. Sigh.

I know that interest rates in this country keep going up, thus making it hard for home-owners to pay for their mortgage, but surely soap is cheap enough for one to indulge? Sheesh.

I had a shower when I got home. I don’t think I need to explain why.

Whilst shopping, I also realised how much I missed Florida, when the mealy-mouthed cashier didn’t even bother engaging us in polite conversation. I’m normally quite a chatty person, so I’ll speak to anybody, especially supermarket cashiers, but this particular cashier seemed to be immune to my considerable charms. If the bitch had smiled, I swear her face would have caved in. Miserable cow.

Maybe her personal life was falling apart, but I certainly didn’t know that, and to be honest, I really didn’t care. What I do know is that she came across as ignorant and rude, and as a paying customer, that’s just not good enough. If things are that bad, she should have just stayed home, and taken some anti-depressants. Isn’t that what all the other Britons are doing?

Oh how I long for sunny skies and people who know what customer service means. Sigh.

On a completely different note… what the hell has happened to good Blaze books? Where did they go?

I discovered Blaze about two years ago, and in those days, for category books, the story lines were appealing, and the books themselves were well-written.

Not so these days. It seems to me that some of the Blaze books have the laziest writing and flimsiest plot devices I’ve come across in a while.

Whilst I was in the US, I picked up a couple of Blaze books, and attempted to read them. They were utter bollocks.

One of the books was called So Many Men, by Dorie Graham (sorry, I can’t be arsed linking) and being familiar with Ms Graham’s work, I at least thought it would keep me amused for a while.

I was wrong. It was an utter snoozefest.

The heroine was basically a slut who had slept with many men, (this is what attracted me to the book in the first place) but somehow managed to keep all these guys as really good friends. Enter the uptight hero, who obviously ends up being the one to make her see the error of her sluttish ways. Bastard.

The plot device really appealed to me, because generally, heroines are rarely allowed to have sex with more than two people before the hero pops up, so I liked the thought of a gal who really enjoyed sex, was sexy, and knew it, without any of the blushing coyness and the bullshit.

It could have been good, but somehow the author managed to make it blander than bland, by offering too many justifications for why the heroine had slept with so many men. Why couldn’t she just sleep with them because she was a raving slut who loved sex? Works for me.

Also, I don’t know many gals who have all their former lovers virtually living with them, helping them out when necessary, and being a shoulder to cry on when things went tits-up with the current lover? What kind of f*cked up alternative universe is that?

I hope Blaze improves soon, because otherwise, I’ll cancel my subscription with Mills and Boon. £12 per month for crap books is just not my idea of value for money. Sigh.

7 Comments »


  • Tammy
    October 4
    12:40 am

    Ugghhh on the smelly guy! But it did make me laugh!

    I totally agree with you about the Blaze books. I used to read them a lot, but lately they have been really bad. I’m not sure why either.

    I usually like Dorie Graham, I’ve read quite a few of her earlier books and enjoyed them. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy the one that you read.

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  • Marianne LaCroix
    October 4
    4:06 am

    First, welcome home. We all missed you.

    Second, pubs dictate to authors what is acceptable content (esp a NY pub like HQN). A woman having multiple partners is generally a no-no. Basically, the pubs make the rules on that one. Maybe thats why Chick Lit is so popular.

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  • Rosie
    October 4
    6:39 am

    Karen, I work in an RV (recreational vehicle i.e. motor home) park. We have people who live here for months and years at a time in their vehicles and others who travel through.

    I totally identified with your experience with smelly guy. We have had some travelers come in and register that were so rank we couldn’t get the “taste” of their smell out of our mouths all day even when we open doors, windows and burn candles.

    Like medical examiners do I now keep methlatum (Vicks) to rub on my nose on those days. My grandmother used to say “There is no shame in being poor, but there is no excuse for being dirty…soap is cheap!”

    As for BLAZE books…I’ve been so disappointed in most series books for over a year now. I often wonder if we readers are just jaded or have the books really gotten worse?

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  • Eve Vaughn
    October 4
    1:50 pm

    LMAO, I’ve never heard BO described in quite that way before. You should be an author K-rock!!

    As for Blaze books, to be honest, I haven’t read any, but I used to be a huge fan of the Presents line and still read it occasionally when one of the blurbs catch my fancy. Sure a lot of them have the same story line, but I think it’s interesting reading different authors putting their own spins on plots. Sorry you haven’t had a great experience with that line lately.

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  • Angela James
    October 4
    1:53 pm

    I was just sayng this morning how much I loved England and London. How much I loved it despite vacationing with the morons from hell (my ex-husband and his two college buddies, shoot me now) and that it’s a testament to how much I did love it despite my vacation, not because of it. But one thing I would never have said I loved was the customer service. Err…um. LOL! Although, the smaller pubs and grocers in Western England were quite chatty and friendly, London was a whole other world.

    And thanks so much for the olfactory experience on smelly guy. I worked home health for too many years and you brought some of the foulest things I ever experienced rushing back. Yak.

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  • Rocio
    October 5
    12:45 am

    Don’t kill me, but your people that lives in cold weather are not to fond of baths and when turist comes here and this mega hot sun hit them….puff!!!
    I wouldn’t know about the Blaze because I had to quit my subscription due to economics you see when I started out 1 dollar was 30 pesos and suddenly it when up to 50 pesos..so it was kind of decide between books and soap…LOL!! Karen you are going to be the freakiest old lady!!

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  • Dakota Cassidy
    October 5
    1:20 pm

    Darling? Do you have the vacation blues? LOL. Good to have you home 🙂

    DC 🙂

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