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I’ve had a funny old day today. To be totally honest, it’s been an absolute bitch.

Firstly, it’s been pissing cats and dogs all day, which put me in a bad mood straight away, then when I went for my monthly pamper session, my bikini wax nearly turned into a f*cking Brazilian, because the new girl at the beauty clinic that I go to was very nervous. Sigh.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I went to a Bodyshop party tonight, and it was just my worst nightmare.

The Tall Guy and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, but for some reason, my body isn’t co-operating.

I’m usually ok with my reproductive problems, because I figure that what will be, will be, but some days, that kind of sensible rationalisation just flies out of the window, and leaves in it’s wake a lot of bitterness and jealousy.

Tonight, all the women at the party were mothers of young children, and so naturally, the conversations were mostly about the exploits of their babies.

On most days, I can usually carry on a perfectly reasonable conversation about other people’s children, but for some reason, tonight it was tough.

The feelings of inadequacy blind-sided me, and took me by surprise. It’s been quite a while since I felt so out of it.

Anyway, like I said, I don’t get like this very often. I’ve just sent Paul out to get some Mars Ice-cream in a tub. I intend to eat the whole lot when it arrives.

I’m currently wearing black polyester and listening to my Dawson’s Creek CD (yeah, I know) and singing along to ‘Don’t Blame It On The Weatherman’. I’m really looking forward to hearing te next track, which happens to be called ‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’.
I enjoyed the fourth track very much, it was entitled, ‘Life’s A Bitch’. In other words, the perfect album to listen to when one feels like shit.

On the bright side though, at least my skin feels wonderful today. Thanks for that Jody.


  • Kristie J
    October 17
    10:49 pm

    Ah Karen (((((hug)))))
    Hopefully the ice cream will help.
    Tomorrow will be a better day.
    Just don’t listen to U2’s Stuck in a Moment. I did when going through bad days and I really couldn’t get out of it.


  • Rosie
    October 17
    11:08 pm


    Wow! Reading about your day was like deja vu for me. Well, not the bikini wax part. I’ve never worked up enough nerve for that. But on the other thing…we tried to get pregnant for 2 years before we found out we were infertile.

    Like you most times I was fine but every now and again I’d be at a baby shower or christening (as a godparent 5 times) and feel uncomfortable and edgy, sad. It took all I had sometimes to act and BE happy at the event.

    One Mother’s Day my parents wanted a picture of their daughters with their progeny. I didn’t step into the picture because I didn’t have any kids. My Dad kept insisting and nudging me to be in the picture. When he finally said, “you are like a mother to your nieces and nephews” as an inducement why I should be included, I went running from the room. I felt very exposed and embarrassed by the whole thing. Of course after that everyone got hyper sensitive to my feelings and that was worse! :/

    So eat the ice cream! Enjoy! Read a good book (I’m sending you good book karma), dream a great fantasy. Tomorrow has to be better.

    God knows if one thing in life is true…nothing stays the same.


  • Sarah McCarty
    October 17
    11:54 pm

    Poor Karen, what a horrible blue day! Ice cream is definitely the ticket!

    And Rosie, my heart bleeds for you. That had to be tough.

    Hugs all around!


  • Paz
    October 18
    12:13 am

    It’s going to happen. In the meantime, enjoy the ice cream and other things that make you feel good.

    Paz 😉


  • Marianne LaCroix
    October 18
    3:45 am

    Ah dear…been there, Karen. Hubby and I tried for 7 years. Infertility on my part was due to PCOS–Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. After the jackass temp charts and poking around, I finally asked my GYN for serious help. I went on Clomid, a fertility drug/pill. It wasn’t for me, not strong enough. (Many people, that is all it takes.) I went to a specialist in endorcrine disorders. I did injections of a drug to build up egg production (stronger than Clomid), a butt shot for ovulation to actually occur (my problem), and art. Insem. of hubby’s little guys ( to increase the chances of getting pregnant). Complicated and time consuming? Yes. Worth every cent? You bet!! Seven years of feeling inadeqate, worthless, less than the average woman…to a mommy of twins.

    My point? Probably time to ask about fertility medications. Clomid is afordable and is a pill. I have PCOS so it took more than that. If you move on to endorcinologist, he will treat both you and the hubby (checking the swimmers, you know.)

    In other words, it may not be as bad as you think.

    Email me anytime if you want to ask questions about it.

    Err…fertility treatments do increase chances of multies…like twins, triplets, etc.


  • Jennifer Macaire
    October 18
    7:01 am

    I hope the ice-cream helped! (((hugs)))


  • Karen Scott
    October 18
    7:32 am

    Thanks Kristie, Paul bought Mars and Malteser ice-cream. I was in hog heaven!!, lol about the U2 song!

    Thanks for that Rosie, that’s one of the reasons why I hate family gatherings too, because invariably, everybody brings proof of their ability to procreate *g*
    I read another Linda Howard book, that made me feel much better!

    Thanks Sarah, the ice-cream was delish!!

    Thanks Paz!

    Marianne, I think I’ve been in denial for a while, but you’re right, it may be time to take positive action. I would just LURVE twins! Two babies for the price of one. Hog Heaven! Thanks for the offer hun. Much appreciated.

    Thanks Jennifer, I now have to go to the gym everyday this week!!

    Thank you for all your kind words. The Pity Party is officially over, it takes far too much energy to feel that sorry for one’s self!!


  • Scott
    October 18
    11:01 am

    I agree with Marianne there Karen. There are things that can help, and Clomid can work. You two should see an endorcinologist because they are sure to help.

    Marcia went on Clomid and it helped her ovulate (she had PCOS, too). We still couldn’t get her pregnant. We then went to an endorcinologist to see what they could do. Unfortunately when they checked my swimmers, they found that I had a ton of them, and they were swimming, but they were “abnormal”, or at least 99% of them were. Now if it was just Marcia, we would have been pregnant in no time. But their treatment plan for us was out of our price range because of my problems. We gave up the idea of doing that and figured we would go back to Clomid. But given some other issues Marcia was facing, we decided to just hold off. Then guess what happened? With absolutely no medical help, and no pressure from ourselves, she got pregnant.

    I know it is not easy to just relax and not worry about it. The ol’ biological clock keeps ticking, and it get pretty damn loud, too. But like SO many others, there comes a time when it just happens naturally, and it’s usually after a point when you are not thinking about it.

    I wish you all the luck in the world Karen! And try not to worry. Like I told Marcia, it will happen eventually.


  • Dawn
    October 18
    11:01 am

    Sorry to hear you had such a shitty day, Karen, and glad that the ice cream helped somewhat.

    And maybe, as Marianne said, it’s time to get you both checked out. At least then you’ll know what you’re dealing with.

    (((Big Hugs)))


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