HomeReviewsInterviewsStoreABlogsOn Writing

This Bitch Seriously Needs To Get Laid…

Thursday, January 5, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized

I usually lurk on a group called Afroerotik . I guess you could say that the purpose of the group is to discuss sexual issues from a black perspective.

Anyway, I originally joined because I thought there might be some interesting debates, and you guys know how much I like to have my say.

As I read the posts from the group owner, one thing soon became obvious. This bitch needed to chill the fuck out.

She’s an aspiring writer who shares her stories with the group. This is a good thing. However, she tends to get damn right scathing, if she doesn’t actually get any feedback from them, after she posts an excerpt. This is not a good thing.

I’ve been amused for months by her various rants. I rarely posted because quite frankly, the bitch is as scary as Tom Cruise on anti-depressants.

She was always going crazy at the group for not talking about what she wants them to talk about, which was one of the reasons why I rarely participated in the discussions.

She’s the kind of angst filled black woman I would usually avoid like the plague. All her subjects are usually centred around racism, which kinda gets wearing after a while.

What I did notice, was that on the odd occasion that I decided to contribute, my posts never actually showed up. I just assumed this was because I’d made a mistake. I soon figured out that that the owner wasn’t letting my posts through. WTF?

Anyway, let me give you an example of the type of rants that she regularly indulged in:

“I’ve had the flu for a week now. I was too sick to even get out of bed for a few of those days. Even in my fevered, aching delerium, I was ever hopeful that there would be some sign of intelligent life in this group, some sort of discussion that would be challenging people to look at ourselves and change our perceptions. I understand, the holidays and travel and family and parties take up people at this time of year.

I’m also quite sure I specifically said that if I don’t see some sort of effort to really discuss deeper issues and start working on healing ourselves in this group, that AfroerotiK would go bye bye.

It seems more than obvious to me in the last several weeks that people would be content to let this group be a regular ole Ebony Chat group that asks about what everybody did on the weekend and not much more. I’m extremely disappointed in the effort of the members of the group to show support for my writing.

I have contributed enough short stories to this group to fill two books. You want to know how many comments I got from people on the last story I wrote? ONE. ONE comment!

I wrote a story about an interracial couple that fell in love and engaged in alternative sex and ONE person out of 17,000 found the time and energy to comment. Is that not a storyline that deserves dialogue? You begged for audios. I gave you FREE audios. I gave you a FREE 40 minute podcast discussing Black sexuality. What did I get in return? NOTHING!!!!

I give up. You don’t appreciate what I do so why should I bother?”

Who the effing hell sends out a post like that to members of her own group? Whatever happened to trying to win friends and influence people?

This is one of her latest posts:

“I was all prepared to shut the group down. I’ve begged and pleaded and begged some more about getting more feedback only to be met with people who swear they will contribute more and never do and others who seem to take pleasure in calling me names and getting an attitude when they post one single message and I don’t respond to it.

I’ve asked what exactly is so hard about giving feedback and the only response I get seems to be that I’m too smart and people are intimidated by responding or that the issues are too trivial to respond to. As many people seem to take pleasure in telling me exactly how enlightened they are, the same ones that seem to feel that the group is best shut down, I’ve yet to read one thing that is particularly inspiring, that is would lead me to keep the group open.

Shutting the group down, however, will shut the door on the potential for my vision. I might be the only person that sees the vision but without the vehicle, we can’t get there. So I have to endure being called names, I have to endure people not accepting responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior, not acknowledging where they need to grow because this is the only place where growth can happen.

The thing that will make the name calling and the dysfunctional behavior more tolerable is companionship. I can’t keep doing this alone. There are emotionally evolved black men that have healed themselves from patriarchy and misogyny and I deserve their companionship. {K: Yeah, but you may need an attitude adjustment first}

I deserve love and affection from someone that has moved beyond their childhood issues, who has a vision for the future that isn’t tied to pussy, money or validation of their dysfunction. I’m not sure what’s been keeping me from forming a relationship with someone healthy but I resolve to take more chances, to put myself in places where I can meet the type of men that I am interested in. I resolve to continue to heal myself to create a space to find companionship with a like minded individual. I know he’s rare but he does exist.” {Only in your dreams Bitch}

Need Ritalin much?

Check out some e-mails that we exchanged:


“I’ve sent several posts to this list, but for some reason they don’t appear. Can I assume you moderate them, and you pick and choose which posts appear and which
don’t? I haven’t flamed in any of them, so I find it difficult to understand why you wouldn’t let any of them through.”


“You don’t contribute when I post why should I let your messages through?”


“Don’t you get tired of angst Afroerotika? I think you would be Much better off worrying less about what the group is talking about, and just be grateful that you have such a lively list.

You need to just step back and breathe. Not everybody wants to talk about deep and meaningful subjects all the time, life’s just too short. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. People don’t like being told what they can discuss and what they can’t. You really need to just chill out, and stop trying so hard.”


“I get tired of people like you. You are now no longer a member of the group.”

I’ve been removed from the group. Wow, I’ve never had that happen to me before. Does this mean I’m a badass?

Anyway, here’s my final e-mail to her:


“People like me? I thought I was just giving you sound advice actually. You worry too much about stuff that in the great scheme of things don’t matter all that much. Do you know how bitter you sound when you go off on one?

I never attacked you, but you obviously felt that I did and for that I’m truly sorry. I get it, it’s your group, and you control things, but aren’t you doing exactly what you advocate against? You’re limiting free speech. I had an opinion on the Tookie Williams debate the other day, but you didn’t bother letting that through. That was my one attempt at posting in response to a current issue, but you obviously felt that it wasn’t good enough, or it didn’t gel with your thoughts.

That’s kind of messed up don’t you think?

I’ve seen some of your posts where you complained about people sending abusive e-mails to you, I wonder now, if some of the e-mails were along similar lines to mine? All I ever did was put my point of view across. It wasn’t me who used the phrase ‘people like you’ which is incendiary in itself. You did that, not me.

I’m sorry you didn’t have the courage to let my posts through, but it’s your group, and you’ll do what you want.

You strike me as being a very unhappy person, and I think that one day, you’ll look back, and wonder why your knickers were in such a constant twist. Life’s truly too short, and you ought to just chill out, and enjoy being alive.”

She has yet to respond. I wont hold my breath. Normally, I relate quite well with special needs cases. This moronic bitch couldn’t even get along with Mother fucking Teresa of Calcutta.

I wonder what kind of medication she’s on….


  • Eve Vaughn
    January 5
    8:52 pm

    She’s not on medication. That’s the problem. LOL It’s funny that it seems that she can dish it out but can’t take it.


  • Jennifer B.
    January 5
    9:23 pm



  • Kristie (J)
    January 6
    12:15 am

    Oh my Karen – that is a riot. Suppose she’s ever seen the No Soup for You Seinfeld episode? *chuckle* that’s what she sounds like
    No Group for you now.

    still laughing


  • Kristie (J)
    January 6
    12:17 am

    PS: I have an entirely different question for you. I’ll send you an e-mail


  • Jenn
    January 6
    12:40 am

    She has serious issues. Intense therapy MAY help.


  • Lori
    January 6
    1:18 am



  • Rosie
    January 6
    1:53 am

    This is one of those things you read and then re-read because you can’t believe what you just read.
    What a piece of work!


  • Anonymous
    January 6
    2:03 am

    I’m just…astounded. Why is she so ANGRY? My heart goes out to her. It’s too extreme to even get miffed at. LOL

    You always impress me with how you handle potentially difficult situations, Karen. Reading your blog, and the comments you post at other blogs, always helps me to keep things in perpective. And sometimes, even, to get over myself. LOL! I really mean that. 🙂



  • Anonymous
    January 6
    3:21 am

    Wow, what a piece of work she is! Sounds like this “group” was only set up to stroke her overly, inflated ego. Why would anyone choose to respond to a self-centered, egomaniac? And she wonders what “has been keeping me from forming a relationship with someone healthy”?! Well, I can think of a few things! lol


  • Desiree Erotique
    January 6
    3:34 am

    I agree with Eve. And you don’t need or deserve abuse like she’s dishing out, Karen. You’re better off not there.


  • Indida
    January 6
    7:49 am

    She is a tyrant but her kingdom is imaginary.

    And she knows it.

    This is probably the only area in her life where she felt she had a chance of being in absolute control and failed at it miserably.

    I think that’s what makes her an all around bitch with branch up her ass.


  • Dawn
    January 6
    9:28 am

    Oh Boy! Like Eve said, sounds like she needs some serious meds and some time in one of those flotation tanks.

    Seems like she’s one of those blacks who feel that everyone out there is racist and out to get her. You’re better off without her group. Actually, I think you were rather restrained in what you said, I know that you can be much more scathing.


  • Dawn
    January 6
    9:52 am

    BTW, Karen. Love the new? bit where you list you fave past blogs. I’ve spent a bit of time revisiting them also. LOL

    Did you purposely title them like Friends episodes?


  • Angela James
    January 6
    1:17 pm

    This would be even more entertaining if she would come here and “rebute” your comments. We need a new good round of drama that has no bearing on our lives, don’t you think 😉

    lol, Karen. There are always going to be people out there who want the world to revolve around them, and them only. It sounds as though she felt you weren’t licking her boot sufficiently clean so you don’t get to be visible on the group. You might try to steal some of her groupies with your insightful and intelligent comments.

    The fun thing to do would have been to steal the membership list and invite everyone to a group not run by a narcissistic, raving lunatic. Thanks for the laugh this morning!


  • Rocio
    January 6
    4:19 pm

    Angie, you are right I was hoping for her to be sane enough to reply to Karen. I got the pop corn and my favorite chair to read it!!! LOL! But when I went through her group and read the post I felt like there´s something really wrong with that woman, really wrong and it scared me, and was very happy that Karen was kicked out of the group! There´s nothing wrong with let the grief go for a while but when let it rules your life like that it´s shameful. She actually writes good, you cannot help but keep reading at her rants, but she sounds sooo grim it takes a masoquist to enjoy it.


  • Karen Scott
    January 6
    7:43 pm

    Eve, she’d probably be ok if she’d just chill out. She’s so damned militant, and she doesn’t need to be.

    JenB, happy to have amused you!

    Kristie, you just can’t help some people

    Jenn, therapy wouldn’t help. Seriously.

    Lol, Lori!

    Rosie, she definitely has issues

    Awwww Shelby, that’s a lovely thing to say! I wish she’d get some perspective on life though.

    Anonymous, I have a feeling she’s hoping she’ll meet the man of her dreams by keeping the group going. It aint gonna happen, because most intelligent men would stay well clear. I wonder if she’s been married before…

    Ahhhh Des, but her rants used to make me seriously chuckle, much like watching a car crash, you know it’s happened, but you can’t believe it.

    Lol!! Indida, I couldn’t agree more. I wonder if her mother and father didn’t love her enough…

    Dawn, beleive me, I seriously like being mean, but with somebody like that, it’s just wasted energy.

    Re The Titles of My Fave blogs, I hadn’t actually meant to do the friends things, but once I started naming them, I thought it was a cool idea, so I kept with the theme.

    Angie, I’ve discovered that she has a blog, so to keep things fair, I think I will let her know what’s being written about her, then she has the choice to bring her army and come and post a rebuttal. I don’t think she will, but at least I wouldn’t be slagging her off behind her back. I like to be upfront about these things. *g*

    Ro, I love how articulate she is, and if she didn’t have her head up her arse, she’d find that people would appreciate her a lot more, and respond to her in a more positive way.


  • Kathy A.
    January 7
    1:03 am

    Even in my fevered, aching delerium, I was ever hopeful that there would be some sign of intelligent life…

    Any *intelligent* life would get as far tf away from her as possible. First time I’ve checked in your blog in a while Karen. Happy to see you’re usual sassy self. Keep it up!


  • SmartBlkWoman
    January 7
    4:35 am

    That woman sounds crazy. Be glad you got away from her and that group with your brains intact. She didn’t create that group to start some sort of intellectual dialogue, she started it to have an outlet for her insanity that people would respond too.

    You said it best: That bitch is crazy!


  • Dakota Cassidy
    January 7
    8:01 am

    Holy narcissitic, Batman! good gravy she’s made quite a plea for people to “hear” her, eh?

    But this isn’t the kind of person who will ever have their fill of people stroking her ego. The center of attention is what she craves.

    She’s the kind of person who will always need more and she’s downright honest about it. She made no bones about the fact that she does so much for you all and you fail her by not returning the favor.

    She’s the kind of person who will suck the life outta ya and then, suck some more because it’s how she exists and continues to thrive.

    And does she really have 17,000 folks on her group? Or was that a typo? because if 17,000 people interacting isn’t enough for her–nothing will ever be.

    Just my .02,
    Dakota 🙂


  • Karen Scott
    January 7
    11:15 am

    Hey Kathy, I hope you’re well? When’s your next book due out? As for thisa group owner, I think she may have her uses yet!

    SBW, I genuinely think she’s got a screw loose, who get’s that upset over stuff that doesn’t matter?

    Dakota honey bunny, I’ve decided that each week, I’m going to have a section called ‘What’s That Crazy Bitch Up To Now?’, and I think I’ll post some of the stuff that she rants about on a weekly basis. Should provide some light relief… What an utterly fabulous idea. Now all I have to do is to rejoin her group, hehehe!


  • maven
    January 7
    7:18 pm

    Woah, someone not get enough attention as a child?!? Like one of 10 brothers and sisters maybe? As far as “what has been keeping me from forming a relationship with someone healthy?” My thought is that “someone healthy” would RUN like hell from all that DRAMA.
    I thought I knwe Drama Queens, now I bow to the new ruler! I mean, I know it’s all about me, but she really believes it’s ALL ABOUT ME!
    You’re better off gone from there Karen, it’s hard to be soaked in that much drama regularly and not have at least some of it rub off on you.


  • Lauren Dane
    January 7
    7:49 pm

    It makes me sad to read this kind of thing. It takes a lot of energy to be that much of a control freak and it makes me wonder how much mure she could do with her life and her writing if she let go of things that didn’t matter so much.

    All of the posts I’ve seen along these lines (and yeah, I’ve been online long enough to have seen this at least fifty times in groups), just make me tired. Hell, I’m just happy when my group gets talkative and I can barely control my children much less the minds and conversation topics of those at my loops.

    Eh well, Karen, sounds like you’re better off outside this particular group.


  • Jane/FabDame
    January 7
    9:05 pm

    Three Words: Needs More Medication.


  • Dakota Cassidy
    January 7
    9:39 pm

    See now, I’d do the same, cookie. Join for the entertainment value of it all. I know it’s horribly crass, but sometimes, ya just gotta laugh 🙂 LOLLOL

    I say, you join under a new name and keep us posted. LOL

    I’m soooooooo bad.

    Dakota 🙂


  • Paz
    January 9
    10:58 pm

    LOL! This is funny. I’m with Dakota. Keep us posted.



  • Monica
    January 11
    12:15 am

    Where do I vote for starting your new feature, “What’s The Crazy Bitch Up To Now?”

    With the surfeit of crazy bitches running around, you’d never, ever run out of material!


  • MaryJanice
    January 12
    1:52 am

    Holeeee…! I thought *I* was an arrogant asshat. I can’t believe you got bounced for THAT.

    A good friend of mine is a PBW (Proud Black Woman) and she don’t take no shit from nowhere, but I’ll tell you, she’s classy. She’d eat her own face before treating people like that. Wait ’til I tell her!


  • Tasha
    November 28
    6:01 am

    I used to lurk around the group as well…this woman is absolutely INSANE! I had some problems in the group as well. While I completely appreciated the premise of the group, she lacks the humility to be running anything. She is a tyrant, and one of the most self-centered people I think I have ever come across in my life. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but then I decided that she was a psychic vampire thriving on sucking the life out of any and everything that would pay her any attention…Good riddance AFROEROTIK, calling that group a “community” was a joke, it was more like Scottie Lowe’s virtual kingdom.


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment