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OK, Nobody, but NOBODY does recaps like the Giggles Bird, check out her take on last week’s American Idol.

For those who aren’t familiar with her work:

‘King Tut’ – Simon Cowell
‘Sleazie’ – Ryan Seacrest

I think you can probably figure out the rest for yourselves!

Oh how I laughed!

During her recap, Mrs G implied that people never vote for visually perfect women. I kinda wondered what she meant until I realised, that the winner of shows like American Idol, or X-Factor, are never the stereo-typical statuesque blonde beauties. Carrie Underwood can’t be included cuz she had some weight about her.

Indeed, if you look like a goddess, talk like a goddess, and ooze bucketloads of sex appeal, you aint winning shit. Not Even America’s Next To Model. Why is that?

My theory? Total jealousy and resentment. As women, we don’t want the girls who seemingly have everything to win a goddammn thing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a great singer or a fabulous dancer, you just wont get those all important votes, because people (read:women) truly resent you for being the girl that seemingly has it all.

You can be male, and physically perfect, and still get votes, (Read: Ace of the ruby –red cheeks) but if you’re a woman, uh-uh. Not a fucking chance in hell, unless of course, you’re a blonde bombshell, who’s thick as pigshit, but endearing as hell, (Read: Kellie the trailer trash girl, who’d never tasted calamari).

What are your thoughts on this?