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OK, Nobody, but NOBODY does recaps like the Giggles Bird, check out her take on last week’s American Idol.

For those who aren’t familiar with her work:

‘King Tut’ – Simon Cowell
‘Sleazie’ – Ryan Seacrest

I think you can probably figure out the rest for yourselves!

Oh how I laughed!

During her recap, Mrs G implied that people never vote for visually perfect women. I kinda wondered what she meant until I realised, that the winner of shows like American Idol, or X-Factor, are never the stereo-typical statuesque blonde beauties. Carrie Underwood can’t be included cuz she had some weight about her.

Indeed, if you look like a goddess, talk like a goddess, and ooze bucketloads of sex appeal, you aint winning shit. Not Even America’s Next To Model. Why is that?

My theory? Total jealousy and resentment. As women, we don’t want the girls who seemingly have everything to win a goddammn thing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a great singer or a fabulous dancer, you just wont get those all important votes, because people (read:women) truly resent you for being the girl that seemingly has it all.

You can be male, and physically perfect, and still get votes, (Read: Ace of the ruby –red cheeks) but if you’re a woman, uh-uh. Not a fucking chance in hell, unless of course, you’re a blonde bombshell, who’s thick as pigshit, but endearing as hell, (Read: Kellie the trailer trash girl, who’d never tasted calamari).

What are your thoughts on this?

7 Comments »


  • Lori
    March 5
    4:53 pm

    LOL. Karen, I think you are dead on. And I think it’s borne of jealousy, true. Unfortunately, too many people don’t take the time to get to know those women. Take, for example, the perfect looking woman who never has a date. Or a woman friend, for that matter, because we all look at her, and what’s the first word out of our mouth? Say it with me… “bitch”! I even have my DH trained after all these years… “yeah, dear, she’s pretty, but she’s a bitch.” LOLOL!! What a guy.

    Of course, we all know that looks don’t count for anything, it’s what’s inside, but dang, it sure is hard to overcome those immature high school feelings of cheerleader jealousy, isn’t it?

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  • Lauren Dane
    March 5
    5:17 pm

    Unfortunately, Mandisa won’t win either. The fat girl never gets to win. Oh, they’ll keep her around until the last six or so, but then she’ll be out (if they don’t dig up a sex tape in the meantime)

    And don’t you just get the feeling that little kelly Pickler has been groomed to win since the first try out episode? (and admittedly, I do think she’s a doll)

    Anyway, if you like snarky recaps, have you ever read four/four or bitchtastic?

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  • Desiree Erotique
    March 5
    6:13 pm

    One would think that as adults we get over the petty practices of youth. I’ve found it very ironic, however; in high school I got made fun of by cheerleaders and the cliks for being “mousey” and hanging with the band, the “freaks” and the “geeks”. (My brother hung with the jocks, and they wouldn’t take a second look at me). Now, as an adult I’ve had my good share of jokes, cruel emails, anonymous IM comments and such directed at me. One comment in particular hurt; someone told me that as an author I’ll never have a good reading base because I’m a “dumb leggy model-type”. It hurts, it really does, especially when I’ve never chosen my friends based on what they look like, how they dress, ect. A couple of years now I’ve been a “red head” and the comments have slacked, but it still amazes me that supposedly adult women would say such things.

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  • Eve Vaughn
    March 5
    6:21 pm

    You might have something there K-rock. I usually don’t vote on these shows at all because its so slanted its not funny. I do enjoy watching the performances though.

    Sorry to here about those nasty comments Desiree, that really stinks. You’d think some peeople would eventually outgrow the highschool mentality, but they never do.

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  • Anne
    March 5
    6:55 pm

    I have to be honest and say that I vote on talent and not looks. I don’t care if they are pretty, ugly, fat, or thin… if they can sing, they damn well have my vote. Last year, I didn’t vote for Carrie Underwood… not because she was “too pretty” but because I really and honestly thought Bo Bice was way better than she was. Yeah, Carrie is a country singer and that’s cool and all, but have you heard the shit she’s singing now? “Jesus Take The Wheel” and “Some Hearts”… She thinks that’s going to make her #1? She better think again. I turn both songs off when they come on the radio because they aren’t great for me… as Simon would say.. no WOW factor.

    This year my choices are Chris because he’s a damn good singer and for the women it would be Mandisa because I honestly believe she’s got the best voice… but like Lauren said, she won’t win because she’s heavier…. and that’s bullshit if you ask me. She can and has outsang every one of those other girls… but who wants to bet that Kellie Pickler is one of the last ones standing instead of Mandisa because she’s cute and perky and BLONDE. UGH.

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  • Avid Reader
    March 6
    12:01 am

    Chris would hands down get my vote. I read Mrs G recap but didn’t see the one from last week in there. Mandisa is good but hey, Reuben was pretty heavy and he still won but as a woman, would America vote for Mandisa? Probably not. With Reuben, they problably saw another Luther Vandross (who I miss very much)

    Keishon

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  • Dawn
    March 7
    12:06 pm

    I really like Mandisa’s style. Still can’t stand Paris and Brenna (stab her, stab her!) For some reason, I never manage to stay awake for the fellas’ performances – could be the fact that it’s on so fricking late. The only ones I can remember are Chris and Taylor (and that’s just because of his hair colour).

    I actually don’t care too much for the Pickler girl, even though she sounds cute and stoopid when she says “caylamohreh”.

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