Karen:
If you’re an author, and you feel the need to ask me to review your book, please think about it before you do. In fact, my advice to you would be to think about it at least three times, before you send me the e-mail request.
Just because you sent me the book free doesn’t mean that I’m going to be nice about the baby that you spent months trying to deliver. If I like it, I’ll shout it from the rooftops, but equally, if I hate it, then please be prepared for your baby to be stomped on, and decimated on a public forum.
Of course there are nice ways to say that I didn’t like your book, but here’s the thing: I’m just not that type of blogger.
You have been warned.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
AztecLady:
To comply with FTC guidelines, allow me to state that I have received free books from authors, either as review copies or as prizes in giveaways. Most of my reviews up to now (October 8th 2009) have been of books I’ve purchased myself. Either way, a review is NOT an endorsement. A review is at its heart the expression of the reviewer’s opinion–in this case, my opinion.
Regardless of how the book in question ended up in my hands (or computer), I will not insult your intelligence by assuming that you will blindly buy any book I like, or that you’ll avoid reading any book I don’t like. Instead, I’ll give you credit for making up your own mind, and buying and/or reading whatever you think you’ll enjoy.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Willaful:
I’m happy to consider books for review, but please keep in mind that I already have far more than I can read in several lifetimes and that I do not love everything I try. If I accept your book for review, I’ll make a good faith effort to read it and to write an honest review. I reserve the right to not start it, not finish it, or hate it.
Monica
June 22
6:34 pm
If you like, I can send you a personalized Author Calming Visualization Aid for you to forward on to disgruntled authors upset over your reviews. It’s very soothing, calms upset nerves and is a balm for tender author feelings.
[chortle!]
Bam
June 22
6:38 pm
I love you, Monica. Thank God for you. 🙂
Selah March
June 22
6:49 pm
Being a relative newbie, with the relatively thin skin of a newbie, I’m not ashamed to admit that I live in fear of the scathing review.
But you know what might be cool? (And this is nothing more than a polite suggestion from the peanut gallery — please take it or leave it as you see fit, ’cause I know you’re a busybusy girl.)
If you could maybe list the top five or ten things that drive you absolutely batshit mouth-frothing insane with hatred about your average romance, THAT would go a long way toward helping me screw up my courage to send you one of mine.
For example, if you utterly despise first person POV…or can’t stand Alpha Males…or can’t stand NON-Alpha Males…or won’t have a widowed historical heroine on a bet…or are inclined to vomit at the mere mention of a child, much less the appearance of one on the page…
Maybe you’ve already compiled such a list and I somehow missed it. If so, apologies. If not, I’d love to see one. Subjectivity being what it is, it’s always a crapshoot to send your baby out to a reviewer. It would be a kindness to know up front if your work contains something that’s liable to trip a landmine.
Thanks for listening. 🙂
Karen Scott
June 22
6:58 pm
I love ay too Monica, although I still can’t comment on your blog, you need to sort that out!
Hi Selah, one of my major pet hates is a weak-assed heroine, who lets herself get walked on. I think this is because I’m a borderline feminist. I don’t mind vulnerable heroines, but they have to at least grow in the book, if they don’t then I just get annoyed.
Monica
June 22
7:04 pm
I thought I finally had the comment issue licked. I thought I made it so anybody could comment on my blog, even anonymously. Oh dear! Fricking blog (grumble, grumble).
I did so want to hear what you thought about the blowjob brouhaha on the feminist blogs. I swear all the sanctimony on the subject made my week and I was DYING for the romance blogs to pick it up, just DYING.
Ann Wesley Hardin
June 22
7:07 pm
Wow, I think back on those early days when you were just starting to blog, Karen. The times they are a changin’. Now your reviews have to come with a warning label from the Surgeon General. *ggg*
I’ve gotten two good reviews from you so there’s no way I’m going for the Triple Crown. I’m happy with two. LOL.
Idea: whenever anyone gets snarky with you, link to Daisy’s response to your review. Maybe someone will learn something!
Ann Wesley Hardin
June 22
7:09 pm
Blowjob Brouhaha?? *perk* Send us a link, Monica!
Beverly Havlir
June 22
7:16 pm
*GULP*
Somebody ASKED you to review their book? Damn. They’ve got bigger balls than I do.
*g*
Monica
June 22
7:43 pm
Ann,
I’ll send you to the post at my blog that tells you about it. http://monicajackson.com/blog/?p=1022
Twisty at I Blame the Patriarchy started it when she said, “I posit nevertheless that no woman, since the dawn of the patriarchal co-option of human sexuality, has ever actually enjoyed this submissive sexbot drudgery. There’s a reason that deep-throating a funk-filled bratwurst makes a person retch.*
______________________
*Reason: It’s fucking gross.”
The link to the 241 outraged comments and trackbacks is at the bottom. Unfortunately, the brouhaha seems to be over.
Ann Wesley Hardin
June 22
8:20 pm
Thanks, Monica! I read about seventy-five comments before my eyes got wanky.
Have to admit I’ll go back and read more. The whole idea of women having *power* while giving blowjobs makes me LOL. I mean, if a man doesn’t respect you, you have no power whatever-the-hell you do. But whatever.
It might actually be a very interesting thing for an erotic romance author to blog about. I’ll consider taking the reins.
Jenn
June 22
8:32 pm
I gurantee there will still be authors with sucky books sending you emails(g).
One thing I love about you is that you are honest to the point of insanity.
By the way do you fence?
You already have a formidable weapon with your tongue.
Seriously it should mean more to an author that they get a good review from you. They know it will be honest and not made by someone who is in bed with the publishing company. I have read some good reviews of some awful stories. And you are right who likes weak assed heroines? You just want to tell them to grow up and get some balls(g).
Kate R
June 22
9:01 pm
Hey, refer any whiners to Monica, PBW and me. I just put up a note about that today.
Stella Price
June 22
11:45 pm
Karen…
I sent to you for one reason and one reason only- because youll give it an honest and fair review. I might be new to the writing world, but i do have thick skin when it comes to my work.
Most review sites have to say something positive, and thats why i like indie reviews, you can be as blatanly honest as you want to be, and thats what i value. So im anxiously waiting on what you have to say cuz good or bad, its going to be honest, and i would rather the honestly the fluff.
Stella
Kimberly
June 22
11:58 pm
Karen…I sent my book to you because I like your snarkalicious ass and…after the review…I like ya even more. Go figure.
You and Bam are pretty great bitches 🙂
Best,
Kim
Selah March
June 22
11:59 pm
Thanks for the answer, Karen. Since I consider myself an outright feminist — nothing borderline about it — I surmise I’m not in danger of writing weak-assed heroines anytime soon. Expect an offering from me sometime this summer.
Off to explore the next fascinating topic: “Blowjobs and how they force women into virtual slavery: Film at 11.”
Bam
June 23
12:02 am
Kim, you’re right. I am a pretty great bitch. Oh, and Karen too. 😉
December Quinn
June 23
8:24 am
If any of my full-length stuff was out yet, I’d send it in a heartbeat, for all the reasons above. Especially with ebooks, it’s very difficult to find a place that gives honest reviews. I read a book once that seriously made me ill. It was badly written, the characters were refugees from the Stupid Stock Character Camp, the history was completely innacurate (note: when medieval men wore “hose”, they were not pantyhose. There was no “waistband” in his hose.) This was the kind of bad that forces you to keep reading because you’re convinced that nothing can really be this bad, that there has to be some moment where like an ’80s movie supercomputer, the book becomes self-aware and elevates itself above the incompetence of its writing, but it doesn’t.
The thing still got a good-a glowing-review from the one review site I could find it listed on.
It’s hard to trust a good review these days, and as a writer that’s very frustrating. It’s hard to be proud of a good review when that reviewer seems to like everything they read.
So one of these days you’ll be getting something from me, anyway.
Leigh Ellwood
June 23
1:23 pm
Bad reviews don’t bother me anymore. Death threats, well…
T. C. Archer
November 11
3:06 pm
ROFL. I see no one has commented on this thread for quite some time. I don’t know if that means people weren’t willing to risk a bad review, or you’re not doing reviews anymore. In any case, I thought I’d ask.
I’m Shawn M. Casey here, half of the writing team that makes up T. C. Archer. Evan Trevane is my writing partner. We have a recent digital release from Loose Id, Sasha’s Calling, an erotic space opera. If you’re still reviewing books, we would love a review. The book is 35,000 words.
If you’re interested in reading the blurb and an excerpt, I’ve included a link for you.
http://www.loose-id.com/Sashas-Calling.aspx
Thanks.
Shawn
Koko Brown
December 28
12:42 pm
I noticed that you all like football, so I was wondering if you would like a copy of my newest release Player’s Ultimatum to review for your blog.
Player’s Ultimatum is a multicultural Harlequinesque romance filled with lies, blackmail and a secret baby, but way steamier! There are enough football scenes to satisfy even the most discerning sports fan, but not too many to bore those who hate the smell of hotdogs and peanuts.
Here’s a link to an excerpt if you’re interested in reading the official excerpt/blurb:
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-player039sultimatum-651622-144.html
Thanks!
AztecLady
January 3
5:58 pm
T. C. Archer,
I haven’t reviewed anything for over a year, but the blurb tempted me until I got to the disclaimer. I admit it, public sex squiks me (the whole, “did the public consent?” bit). Thanks for the offer, though.
Koko,
Thank you for the offer. Alas, I must decline.
(I wonder, however, if you read the disclaimer carefully enough.)
Joel
August 16
11:52 am
Hi Karen,
I’m from Quercus. Given you’ve enjoyed her work in the past, we were wondering if you’d be interested in receiving a Review Pack for Dorothy Koomson’s forthcoming novel – The Rose Petal Beach.
If you’re interested, please let me know a postal address to which we can send it!
Joel
alan mitchell
October 25
1:10 pm
Hi i would like to submit my debut novel, Dapper Carter’s 8 Rules of Dating for you review.
Ever wondered how a guy gets over a terrible breakup that he caused? Dapper Carter’s 8 Rules of Dating is a sexy and erotic laugh out loud comedy of errors about Dapper Carter– a five tool playa; athletic, handsome, intelligent, charismatic, and witty. His problem is that he has an insatiable appetite for women. He has an even bigger problem because his wife of six years, Kennedy Craig, ain’t going for it no more and humbles the playboy on their sixth wedding anniversary when she files for divorce.
Dapper embarks on a downward spiral after the divorce. At his wits end he eventually repairs his damaged ego and moves out of suburban Jersey into Brooklyn to get his swagger back and find true love by developing and incorporating eight rules to help him navigate through the treacherous dating minefields of New York City. This ain’t no self help book! In his search to find true love he finds more than that.
S.C Rhyne
August 2
10:13 pm
I’m interested in submitting my book for a review. How can I send you the blurb and information?
AztecLady
August 3
1:38 pm
@S.C Rhyne: At present, Karen is not blogging; Willaful is reviewing almost exclusively for her own blog, and I’m in the middle of a reading slump, so your chances of getting a review out of any of us in the foreseeable future are close to nil.
If you still want to risk it, a link back to the book’s page on your website is a good start.