That’s just…did you read some of the other entries? Everyone is entitled to their lifestyle, sure, but that doesn’t mean that *I* get it. Reading those was…yikes. Just yikes.
Urh…my husband and I practice the lifetyle, but this photo turns my stomach, probably for reasons different than other visitors here.
Ok, I understand that her Master runs the show, but SORRY, if her Master really cares he needs to put her on a diet before snapping a photo like that. There is such a thing as a sub with some self-respect about her weight. I sound bigoted, and maybe I am. But in my view, any Master worth his weight in leather is going to take initiative about his sub’s health and appearance just as well as her conduct.
Desiree, it’s always interesting to me to hear your take on this subject. And I’m glad you chimed in here.
I have no experience with the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but my basic understanding of the whole thing is that the couple takes care of each other. “Slave” doesn’t seem cared for enough to me. I mean, aside from physical health, shouldn’t emotional health be considered too? Am I missing something?
Wow. Is this a true BDSM relationship of is this woman with a really sadist control freak? I thought in a master sub relationship the sub had the power. This doesn’t seem very empowering to me.
that picture is just … Yikes. I mean Great Googily Moogily. The friends i have that practice the lifestyle would be shocked and appalled at seeing that picture. Her Master needs to get her health in check, i mean that is truly humiliating, but not for the reasons i think he was doing it for.
Honestly, I could say i feel sorry for her. its not a healthy relationship, not at all.
Hi Ann, I feel as you do, and think there should be a balance in a Complimentary Opposites relationship. I don’t see how making her upload that for the public has its emotional or mental benefits. In a healthy bdsm relationship the Dom takes responsiblity for the welfare of the slave/sub, and the slave/sub is yields to the partner’s role as Master/Mistress. But there is supposed to be a mutual understanding that the Master cares for the sub. If it is only the sub who seeks to please the Master, then punishments dealt out are not punishments at all, but activities that serve no better purpose than to bolster a quasi-Master’s ego. This kind of “Master” is one lacking in self-esteem and the pleasurable benefits of the relationship is purely one-sided. In other words, a sadist, trying to strut his or her power. Pleasure should be derived by both parties involved.
After reading more posts from “girl”‘s blog, I would recommend that she re-evaluate the relationship. If they made vows to one another, is he living up to his part? Or is he just using her loyalty to satisfy his one-sided needs?
Hi KarenS! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, but never posted. I’m a rather vanilla person who enjoys reading BDSM themed erotic romance, and the link really drives home the difference between fantasy and reality. I have read BDSM stories that I thought were very sexy and even romantic. But being forced to pee in a diaper, then put it up for anyone to see? Not so much. Erm…not at all. No, thank you. Desiree, your post was really interesting, and I agree with you that after poking around her blog a bit, I don’t see how she’s getting cared for. But she does seem to get off on it…I don’t know. I just hope it does make her feel happy and fulfilled at least. Cuz, yikes! But I’ll just try to go with “different strokes for different folks” on this one.
Thanks for responding, Desiree. In a perfect Dom/Sub world (or any world, for that matter) the two parties would be responsible for the physical, spiritual and emotional well-being of the partner.
It doesn’t seem the case between these two. Maybe that’s the reason why we’re sickened.
I can see the allure, but only with an emotionally healthy man. I think this woman has major self-esteem issues and so does the man.
Even I who has no real comprehension of the life style can see that this is NOT a healthy relationship by any measuring stick. However, I also wonder if there’s a relationship at all, or just an imaginary life someone is posting for their amusement or as an alter ego. Just something in the way the blog is written. More formulaic than a refelction of day to day life with the fluctuation of emotion one expects in an actual blog.
I went somewhere else, I guess from that site, and the “Master” also had a wife and children. It’s sad, there seems to be no sense of self-esteem, self-respect or even identity outside of the relationship.
Well, I take issue to this being referred to as a D/s relationship. Master/slave relationships are different from D/s. Very different. Letting someone top you is not the same as being a slave and having a master.
IMO, this woman is not being cherished by her master. He’s like some men in the BDSM community who use their position as a Master to abuse women. A Dom and/or a master is supposed to take care of the slave/submissive. He’s abusing her, mistreating her and not taking his job seriously.
A Top should earn it, I don’t see that happening here.
And her weight has nothing to do with self respect. Plenty of big women can respect themselves and should respect themselves. The fact that she lets this man abuse her is a bigger concern to her self respect than the size of her thighs.
Oh and I also want to point out that a Kajira is a Gorean slave. Gor as defined by a series of poorly written science fiction novels for teenaged boys to wank to with “slave boxes” and a universe where women are slaves because they are women and therefore born to be dominated by men. Yes, people have taken sci fi books and made it into a lifestyle. Sort of like kinky scientology.
JAYSUS! (I had to come out of lurkdom on this one too.)
I think the whole thing is sickening and disgusting and it makes me almost ill that people live like this.
I agree.
I’m sorry that’s just plain old abuse in my eyes.
It’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
I didn’t go any further into it other than to look at the photo. Does he allow anyone else in her life? Because DAYUM, someone needs to help her out of THAT sitch.
Reading her posts remind me of the dog who’d rather be kicked than ignored. That sounds hateful; I don’t mean it in a hateful way. She seems to have zero self esteem, and I don’t say that because of her weight. Her wording seems like that of someone in a pretty bad depression…I hope that at some point someone either helps her, or she reaches a point where she wants to help herself. It isn’t her choice of lifestyle that upsets me, it’s the life she’s living.
I’m at a loss for words…I find it interesting but anyone can post anything on the internet so I don’t know WTF that is. Like Fiona, the pink writing was kinda off-putting. Truly.
Maybe I’ve been reading one too many D/s or M/s themed ebooks, but I’ve always pictured the people who engage in this lifestyle as attractive and sexy.
I guess ugly people can have kinky sex too.
*ducks*
And it’s pretty clear from her previous posts that this chick’s master doesn’t give two shits about her, much less respects her.
I’ve read the Chronicles of Counter Earth (Gor) wherein the phrase “Kajira” may have been created. I don’t recall a Kajira ever being forced to wear diapers. Drink Slave Wine and say such such things as, “Rape me, Master,” yes.
But diapers, no.
I’m not sure diapers were what John Norman intended for “Kajira” when he wrote the GOR books.
Karen, I am sorry for not taking the time in my first comment to clarify my sentiment. I am bigoted against the “Master”, not anyone else. And my sincere apology for letting my anger push me to write some hasty, thoughtless comment. It was inexcusable of me.
Des, what thoughtless comment? You only said what everybody else is probably thinking but are too polite to say so. Don’t worry hun, you didn’t offend me, and I don’t think you came off sounding bigoted either, and that’s all that matters as far as I’m concerned.
I’m wondering how this woman came to believe that she deserves this kind of treatment. This is debasement and self-abasement to a pathological degree. She’s a pitiable creature. Very sad and damaged.
I was very much surprised to see that girl is obese. Usually controlling men control a woman’s weight as well as her sexuality. I wouldn’t be surprised if it plays a part in her debasement, though.
Yeah Bam, it’s only in erotica or erotic romances that just the pretty people get to play. Living in the neighborhood that I do I’ve seen plenty of subs and doms and they most definitely aren’t uniformly attractive. Quite the opposite in fact. At least the ones that I’ve seen.
Angela James
July 16
4:34 pm
That’s just…did you read some of the other entries? Everyone is entitled to their lifestyle, sure, but that doesn’t mean that *I* get it. Reading those was…yikes. Just yikes.
Katie
July 16
4:59 pm
That just plain freaks me out. *shudder*
Karen, oh why did you post that (or why did I read it), now I will never get this pic out of my head.
Katie
Desiree Erotique
July 16
6:27 pm
Urh…my husband and I practice the lifetyle, but this photo turns my stomach, probably for reasons different than other visitors here.
Ok, I understand that her Master runs the show, but SORRY, if her Master really cares he needs to put her on a diet before snapping a photo like that. There is such a thing as a sub with some self-respect about her weight. I sound bigoted, and maybe I am. But in my view, any Master worth his weight in leather is going to take initiative about his sub’s health and appearance just as well as her conduct.
Ann Wesley Hardin
July 16
8:41 pm
Desiree, it’s always interesting to me to hear your take on this subject. And I’m glad you chimed in here.
I have no experience with the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but my basic understanding of the whole thing is that the couple takes care of each other. “Slave” doesn’t seem cared for enough to me. I mean, aside from physical health, shouldn’t emotional health be considered too? Am I missing something?
Eve Vaughn
July 16
9:26 pm
Wow. Is this a true BDSM relationship of is this woman with a really sadist control freak? I thought in a master sub relationship the sub had the power. This doesn’t seem very empowering to me.
Stella Price
July 16
10:32 pm
that picture is just … Yikes. I mean Great Googily Moogily. The friends i have that practice the lifestyle would be shocked and appalled at seeing that picture. Her Master needs to get her health in check, i mean that is truly humiliating, but not for the reasons i think he was doing it for.
Honestly, I could say i feel sorry for her. its not a healthy relationship, not at all.
Stella
Desiree Erotique
July 16
11:21 pm
Hi Ann, I feel as you do, and think there should be a balance in a Complimentary Opposites relationship. I don’t see how making her upload that for the public has its emotional or mental benefits. In a healthy bdsm relationship the Dom takes responsiblity for the welfare of the slave/sub, and the slave/sub is yields to the partner’s role as Master/Mistress. But there is supposed to be a mutual understanding that the Master cares for the sub. If it is only the sub who seeks to please the Master, then punishments dealt out are not punishments at all, but activities that serve no better purpose than to bolster a quasi-Master’s ego. This kind of “Master” is one lacking in self-esteem and the pleasurable benefits of the relationship is purely one-sided. In other words, a sadist, trying to strut his or her power. Pleasure should be derived by both parties involved.
After reading more posts from “girl”‘s blog, I would recommend that she re-evaluate the relationship. If they made vows to one another, is he living up to his part? Or is he just using her loyalty to satisfy his one-sided needs?
Devon
July 17
12:31 am
Hi KarenS! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, but never posted. I’m a rather vanilla person who enjoys reading BDSM themed erotic romance, and the link really drives home the difference between fantasy and reality. I have read BDSM stories that I thought were very sexy and even romantic. But being forced to pee in a diaper, then put it up for anyone to see? Not so much. Erm…not at all. No, thank you. Desiree, your post was really interesting, and I agree with you that after poking around her blog a bit, I don’t see how she’s getting cared for. But she does seem to get off on it…I don’t know. I just hope it does make her feel happy and fulfilled at least. Cuz, yikes! But I’ll just try to go with “different strokes for different folks” on this one.
Shiloh Walker
July 17
1:45 am
okay… that is something that finally pulled me out of lurk.
that is disturbing.
i’m not too into hard core bondage, but it would seem to me that just wearing the diaper is humiliating enough, if the deal is humiliation.
I can’t comment about the weight, seeing as how I’m not sleek and slender myself.
this is just so disturbing. especially the property bit
Kristie (J)
July 17
2:06 am
I think the whole thing is sickening and disgusting and it makes me almost ill that people live like this.
Ann Wesley Hardin
July 17
3:49 am
Thanks for responding, Desiree. In a perfect Dom/Sub world (or any world, for that matter) the two parties would be responsible for the physical, spiritual and emotional well-being of the partner.
It doesn’t seem the case between these two. Maybe that’s the reason why we’re sickened.
I can see the allure, but only with an emotionally healthy man. I think this woman has major self-esteem issues and so does the man.
Sarah McCarty
July 17
10:39 am
Even I who has no real comprehension of the life style can see that this is NOT a healthy relationship by any measuring stick. However, I also wonder if there’s a relationship at all, or just an imaginary life someone is posting for their amusement or as an alter ego. Just something in the way the blog is written. More formulaic than a refelction of day to day life with the fluctuation of emotion one expects in an actual blog.
Jade James Truth or Dare
July 17
11:14 am
BDSM relationship-I’m fine with.
Master control-I’m fine with.
Wearing a diaper-so it’s posted on a blog just because the master said so…So fucked up and not fine…sadistic control freak…yep those words covered it.
Karen Scott
July 17
11:54 am
Sarah, I may be wrong, but I don’t actually think she lives with her Master, I seem to recall reading somewhere that he has a wife and children.
Either that or he and his wife are divorced, but Just Slave and her Master definitely seem to live separate lives.
I could be wrong about the wife thing though.
Devon
July 17
12:22 pm
I went somewhere else, I guess from that site, and the “Master” also had a wife and children. It’s sad, there seems to be no sense of self-esteem, self-respect or even identity outside of the relationship.
Fickle Fiona
July 17
12:30 pm
That was…different.
I hated the 3rd person pink writing more than anything.
I’m pretty sure the diaper was for a class (sensitivity training). Her master only made her pee in it and post the picture. Only? Oh jeez…
Fiona
Lauren Dane
July 17
4:46 pm
Well, I take issue to this being referred to as a D/s relationship. Master/slave relationships are different from D/s. Very different. Letting someone top you is not the same as being a slave and having a master.
IMO, this woman is not being cherished by her master. He’s like some men in the BDSM community who use their position as a Master to abuse women. A Dom and/or a master is supposed to take care of the slave/submissive. He’s abusing her, mistreating her and not taking his job seriously.
A Top should earn it, I don’t see that happening here.
And her weight has nothing to do with self respect. Plenty of big women can respect themselves and should respect themselves. The fact that she lets this man abuse her is a bigger concern to her self respect than the size of her thighs.
Oh and I also want to point out that a Kajira is a Gorean slave. Gor as defined by a series of poorly written science fiction novels for teenaged boys to wank to with “slave boxes” and a universe where women are slaves because they are women and therefore born to be dominated by men. Yes, people have taken sci fi books and made it into a lifestyle. Sort of like kinky scientology.
Valeen
July 17
5:49 pm
oh my shit. Seriously??
What kind of a class requires you to wear a diaper in the first place? and what kind of a person gets sexually excited after urinating in one??
Zeek
July 17
6:50 pm
JAYSUS! (I had to come out of lurkdom on this one too.)
I think the whole thing is sickening and disgusting and it makes me almost ill that people live like this.
I agree.
I’m sorry that’s just plain old abuse in my eyes.
It’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
I didn’t go any further into it other than to look at the photo. Does he allow anyone else in her life? Because DAYUM, someone needs to help her out of THAT sitch.
Laura
July 18
5:39 pm
Reading her posts remind me of the dog who’d rather be kicked than ignored. That sounds hateful; I don’t mean it in a hateful way. She seems to have zero self esteem, and I don’t say that because of her weight. Her wording seems like that of someone in a pretty bad depression…I hope that at some point someone either helps her, or she reaches a point where she wants to help herself.
It isn’t her choice of lifestyle that upsets me, it’s the life she’s living.
Avid Reader
July 18
9:54 pm
I’m at a loss for words…I find it interesting but anyone can post anything on the internet so I don’t know WTF that is. Like Fiona, the pink writing was kinda off-putting. Truly.
Keishon
Bam
July 18
11:06 pm
Maybe I’ve been reading one too many D/s or M/s themed ebooks, but I’ve always pictured the people who engage in this lifestyle as attractive and sexy.
I guess ugly people can have kinky sex too.
*ducks*
And it’s pretty clear from her previous posts that this chick’s master doesn’t give two shits about her, much less respects her.
LSB Author, Darragha Foster
July 19
4:22 am
I’ve read the Chronicles of Counter Earth (Gor) wherein the phrase “Kajira” may have been created. I don’t recall a Kajira ever being forced to wear diapers. Drink Slave Wine and say such such things as, “Rape me, Master,” yes.
But diapers, no.
I’m not sure diapers were what John Norman intended for “Kajira” when he wrote the GOR books.
Kathyb
July 19
7:48 am
I am two skerred to even click on the link. I don’t want that pic in my head… lolol.
On a side note… Karen girl.. you have been hiding from me… I had to ask AAR where you were…
Glad to finally have found you again! Keep it going girl!
Kate R
July 20
2:12 am
but maybe she really, really, really enjoys being humiliated and she lies in bed with a big old smile when she thinks about that picture.
Desiree Erotique
July 21
6:53 am
Karen, I am sorry for not taking the time in my first comment to clarify my sentiment. I am bigoted against the “Master”, not anyone else. And my sincere apology for letting my anger push me to write some hasty, thoughtless comment. It was inexcusable of me.
Karen Scott
July 21
7:11 am
Des, what thoughtless comment? You only said what everybody else is probably thinking but are too polite to say so. Don’t worry hun, you didn’t offend me, and I don’t think you came off sounding bigoted either, and that’s all that matters as far as I’m concerned.
Barbara B.
July 21
5:42 pm
I’m wondering how this woman came to believe that she deserves this kind of treatment. This is debasement and self-abasement to a pathological degree. She’s a pitiable creature. Very sad and damaged.
I was very much surprised to see that girl is obese. Usually controlling men control a woman’s weight as well as her sexuality. I wouldn’t be surprised if it plays a part in her debasement, though.
Yeah Bam, it’s only in erotica or erotic romances that just the pretty people get to play. Living in the neighborhood that I do I’ve seen plenty of subs and doms and they most definitely aren’t uniformly attractive. Quite the opposite in fact. At least the ones that I’ve seen.
Desiree Erotique
July 21
7:18 pm
Hey Karen. Thank you 🙂 I just get really angry with men who put on the caring Master bit, but their actions speak differently.