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These interpretations tickled me pink, Karen apparently means,”Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.” heheh, go look yours up!

Abby – agony aunt, always willing to explain about your confused sexuallity.
Ada – blue haired, smells of wee.
Adie – quiet and shy, but when you get to know her .. quiet and shy.
Adrianna – eats like a horse yet incredibly scrawny, her girlfriends all hate her.
Aileen – laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs.
Alana – pretty and popular, but with very dark secrets.
Alexandra – popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
Alice – likes horses but looks like Kermit’s girlfriend.
Alicia – pretty and knows it, watches herslf go by in shop windows.
Alison – bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Alyssa – wants to be ‘exotic’, but only manages to be ‘strange’.
Amanda – I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good shag, but she does practice a lot.
Amber – stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
Amy – Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night – Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
Amelia – A bit old fashioned, but still a goer.
Anastasia – overly-loud, with delusions of grandeur.
Andrea – Small breasts, small arse, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
Andrina – dark and sultry, pretends she’s a Russian spy.
Angel – face like an angel, mouth like the biker-girl from hell.
Angela – Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
Anita – Beautiful girl with perfect hair and a body to die for.
Ann – bone idle, can’t be arsed to put an ‘e’ at the end of her name.
Annabelle – Doesn’t wear knickers.

Anneka – Sporty type, in and out of the bedroom.
Annette – She’s BIG, like really BIG!!.
Anne – Looks like a horse, can’t drive.
Anne-Marie – Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly formed breasts
Annie – Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
Ashlee – Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
Aurora – Beautiful and sexy, every mans dream ,but sadly swings the other way.
Azaria – Beautiful and exotic with the brain power of an orchid.
Barbara – Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears alot of make up
Bea – Beautiful, sexy, original, but nearly impossible to satisfy in bed.
Becky – one of the boys, knows all about football and cars, quite tall.
Belinda – Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl – Repressed alcoholic.
Beth – Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
Bettina – Dominatrix.
Beverley – Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca – Ginger. big mouth.
Birgit – big scarey woman, likes small blokes she can intimidate.
Brenda – Big hearted, in fact big everything-ed.
Bridgette – Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney – Falsely improved, no use to society.
Cait – Bow-legged country girl, really loves her horses.
Callie – Dresses strangely, has psychopathic tendencies.
Camilla – replaces the word ‘yes’ with ‘ya’.
Cara – lazy girl, eats too much junk-food and yet doesn’t get fat – annoying.
Carie – just like the movie, a scary freak.
Carina – Looks like the back of a bus, doesn’t swallow.
Carla – Down to earth with good child-bearing hips.
Carly – Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
Carol – Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
Caroline – Lard arse, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
Cassy – Giggles too much, bit of an air-head.
Catherine – Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Celine – Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte – Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Chaz – life and soul of the party, plays the piano and then strips to her own music.
Chelsie – upmarket chav, says; “no right, I say right, etc”
Cheryl – Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Chloe – Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
Christine – Likes men in uniform, never warm.
Christina – Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
Ciji – strange girl, sleeps with a vibrating teddy-bear.
Claire / Clare / Clair – Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
Caoilionn – looks good and talks dirty.
Corinne – Insanely curious about everybody and everything.
Courtney – Bit of a ‘tomboy’, rolls her own tampons.
Daisy – Virgin, works on a farm because she likes the way the tractor vibrates.
Danni – Always happy to make up a nice three-some, often brings her sister.
Danielle – Stunningly attractive, yet has a tendency to self-destruct.
Davina – drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn – Gets up early, smells of chips.
Debra – Wannabe porn star
Debby – Experienced porn star.
Deborah – Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
Dee – Enormous mouth, gets a lot of work in porn movies.
DeeDee – cannot understand why no-one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise – Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
Di – Enjoys receiving oral sex, but doesn’t like giving it.
Diana – Cuddly, which is a shame because she smells like cheese.
Diane – Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
Dina – Always cheerful, wants everyone else to be as happy as she is.
Donna – 70’s throw back, likes cabbage.
Dorthe – smells of herrings, obsessed with over-sized sex toys.
Edith – dresses down, but mighty hot beneath.
Eileen – terrible flirt and yet shy deep down.
Elaine – Rides side saddle, drinks meths and likes sharp edges.
Eleanor – Very posh, always washing her hands, but likes her sex dirty.
Elizabeth – Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ella – Fiery temper, but when she’s not shouting she’s as cute as a kitten,
Ellie – Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Ellen – Could well have eaten all the pies.
Elma – Shy, easily dominated by men.
Elsa – Kind of old fashioned, but with beautiful big hair.
Emily – Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma – Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Erminia – Small and graceful, slightly psychotic.
Estelle – Likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther – Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Eve – Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
Evonne – Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
Faith – Legs meet at knees, can’t shag standing up.
Fae – Small and pretty, her mind seems always elsewhere.
Faye – Wears wellies, can’t swim.
Fee – Not very bright, talks fast to make up for it.
Felicity – One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
Fern – Posh with a large mouth, can hold a conversation whilst giving head.
Fiona – Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
Fiyza – Very sexy, she knows it and she flaunts it
Florence – pretty, but sometimes too nice .. people tend to take advantage of her.
Francesca – Likes horses, not too fond of blokes.
Francess – A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
Frankie – Wears leather underwear, if it’s quiet you can hear her buzzing.
Gabriel – An arse to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
Gail – Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen – Big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gaynor – Wanna-be Lesbian who can’t pull the girls.
Gemma – Talks too much, even during sex, even during oral sex!
Geraldine – Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian – Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina – Eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda – Eats children, hates smoking.
Georgia – Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
Georgina – Wants to be a man.
Grace – petite and pretty, fucks like a rabbit.
Grainne – Giggles excessively, sometimes wets herself.
Gwyneth – Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah – Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Harriet – Wears tweed and green wellies to the pub.
Hayley – Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
Hazel – has piercings, wears black.
Heather – Shags like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
Helen – Hangs around with the wrong rowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
Helena – Likes to be in charge, wears a lot of black rubber.
Heidi – The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins, hates Nazis.
Hilary – Frigid.
Holly – very sexy, doesn’t take any crap from anyone.
Imogen – Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid – Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Iona – always carries a plastic carrier bag containing a bottle of strong cider.
Isabel – Pretty lady who likes to be dominated, needs a man, any man.
Isobel – Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
Jackie – Heroin addict, sold her child.
Jade – I once had a Jade, but hasn’t everybody??
Jalaine – Strange, introverted girl, secretly into plastic model aeroplanes.
Jamie – Gentle and yet with a very scary temper.
Janet – Massive over bite, no neck.
Jane – She’s hot and she knows it, a prick-teaser.
Janice – Loud and over-the-top, tends to talk with her hands.
Janine – Always takes on the ‘mother role’ when in a group.
Jarla – Kinda like a female Ali-G only not as funny.
Jasmin – Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jean – hangs around with old blokes and let’s them buy her stuff.
Jemma – Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jen – accident prone, especially around men she fancies.
Jenni – bone idle hence the tendency to shorten long words.
Jennifer – Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jeri – only owns one pair of knickers and they’ve never been worn.
Jessica – Always shags on the first date and sometimes even before it.
Jo – Bisexual and proud of it.
Joanna – Moans in her sleep, moans when she wakes up, can’t cook.
Joelle – Lively, exciting, jolly and fun … sometimes too much so!
Josephine – Likes to be tied up and teased.
Jodie – pretty and clever, therefor a bitch
Jody – Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
Jordon – Wears a lot of make-up, nobody knows what she looks like.
Joyce – Never stops talking … for God’s sake shut up woman!
Judith – Big eyes, big tits, big problem with ballance.
Judy – Huge tits, married to a retard.
Julia – Innocent face, don’t trust her, she’ll steal your wallet in five minutes
Juliet – Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy arse.
Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men’s toilets.
Julie – Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
Kacie – cute and adorable, but prone to sulking.
Karen – Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Karly – not too bright but always means well, pretty in a tubby way.
Kate – kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
Katherine – old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
Kathryn – life and soul of any party until she falls asleep an hour before the end.
Katey – Tom boy, likes her sex dirty, usually outdoors.
Katie – likes blokes and team sports, preferably both together.
Kayleigh – The Lara Croft of Essex, great in bed (practice makes perfect)
Keira – person most likely to start a cult, related to Starlin.
Kelly – smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kelley – not very bright, can’t spell Kelly.
Kelsey – Very clever, wears glasses, boys scare her.
Kerran – tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
Kerry – pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
Kiersten – very sexy to look at, hard to please in bed.
Kim – small and sexy, only into pretty boys.
Kimberley – wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke and swears loudly.
Kira – She’s very very hot, so it’s a shame about the lobotomy.
Kirsty – Eats live moles, can’t dance.
Krista – Cool and pretty, tends to daydream all day and sleepwalk all night.
Kristy – Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
Kristen – Emotionally stunted, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
Kylie – Can’t sing but who cares … lovely arse.
Lana – Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara – Fun loving girl, but doesn’t find time for blokes..
Laura – Likes Max power magazine, can’t drive. Dominatrix
Lauren – Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah – Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Leanne – Eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
Leaine – Seems cute until she opens her mouth and starts swearing.
Lena – Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leonie – Tall girl who likes short boys, it’s a power thing.
Leslie – Likes bondage, hates men.
Leyla – Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
Lily – Makes a good friend, doesn’t take crap from anyone.
Linda – Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
Lindsey – Likes doggy style, doesn’t do housework.
Lisa – enjoys money and is only turned on whilst watching porn.
Liz – Long legged and brainy.
Lizbeth – Sensible and serious, can talk without moving her lips.
Lois – Just wants to be loved but everyone seems to want to over-protect her.
Lorraine – Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
Lorrie – Named after the vehicle she weighs the same as.
Louise/a – Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
Luci – cute and loveable
Lucy – Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Lyndsey – wears 2 pairs of knickers, won’t undress with the lights on.
Lynn – Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
Lynnette – Has the attention span of a budgerigar, likes pretty things.
Madeline – Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Madusa – Really likes men, preferrably grilled with a side salad.
Maggie – Trainspotter, likes plaid.
Mairi – Quiet and shy but incredibly clever, secretly planning to take over the world.
Mandy – Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
Margaret – Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria – Bangs like a barn door.
Marie – Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina – No get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marion – stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
Marolyn – Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martha – enjoys cooking, a shame it’s always inedible.
Martina – Ugly lesbian.
Martine – Can’t act, can’t sing, nice tits.
Mary – Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
Matilda – Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Mavis – seems nice until you notice the black cat, broomstick and pointed hat.
Meg – Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
Meghan – Cold, hard-hearted bitch, enjoys upsetting little children.
Melanie – Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melinda – Trailer trash … pretty, plump, and infected.
Melissa – Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Mercedes – pretends to be posh yet enjoys sleeping around.
Meryl – Dances like an ape, doesn’t realise.
Mia – Cute, small, sexy, but mostly just annoying.
Michaela – Likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle – Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Mikayla – Petite and shy, doesn’t realise how pretty she is.
Marsha – Big butt, small brain.
Molly – Pretty and naive, would like to be slimmer, wears clothes with too many flowers.
Monica – Control freak, but very pretty so we’ll let her off.
Monique – cool, calm, collected and probably drunk.
Morven – Very very loud and doesn’t see to realise it.
Nadine – Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don’t mess with her.
Naomi – Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy – White hair, pays for her real ale in old money.
Narelle – Likes dressing up as a French maid but not French.
Natalie – Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha – Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell – Hasn’t realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nephie – Pretty, smiles a lot, not very bright.
Niamh – Quiet and cute, secretly wears mens under-wear.
Nicci – Pretty, blonde, nicely dressed and vacant.
Nichola – quiet, studious type, wears glasses, a tiger in bed.
Nicola – Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nicole – small sweet and with nice hair, should wear underwear more often.
Niki – wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
Nikki – wannabe lap-dancer but got no rythm.
Nina – Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Nissa – speach impediment causes her to hiss, fond of reptiles.
Olga – You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.
Olive – usually accompanied by a couple of people in white coats.
Olivia – Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
Olwyn – stupid name, welsh, just unlucky I guess.
Paige – Normally much too serious, but giggles a lot in bed.
Pamela – Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Patricia – Obsessive about appearances, yet denies that she’s shallow.
Pat – short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
Paula – Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Peggy – Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
Penelope – Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
Peta – Rough and tough, seriously into bondage.
Phillippa – Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Phyliss – Thinks sex is dirty, always washing her hands.
Polly – nice girl with really bad dress-sense, fashion disaster, it’s a shame.
Priscilla – likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Preya – can’t cook or clean but good in bed.
Prudence – sensible girl, wears flat shoes, but will shag anything in trousers.
Rachel – Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca – Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rebekah – Not very bright, pretty, but sometimes forgets to bathe.
Robbie – Fun loving tom-boy with a cheeky smile.
Roberta – Takes herself much too seriously, could be a fun loving tom-boy.
Renee – Huge breasts, but wishes blokes would notice her mind.
Rhiannon – big and strong, prone to vilence.
Riza – clever and funny, makes some blokes feel threatened.
Romany – Wild and beautiful, swings both ways.
Rosalind – Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
Rose – Can be prickly, gives good head.
Rosemary – Very shy, nearly always seen with a bright red face.
Roz – Only enjoys sex when she’s tied up and spanked first.
Rula – She measures up well.
Ruth – Has stretch marks around her mouth.
Sadie – Stand up if you’re slim, please stand up.
Sally – Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha – Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
Sammy – likes to be the centre of attention, clumsy.
Sandra – Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sara – Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
Sarah – Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.
Sarah-Jane – ‘posh’ girl, will screw anything in a BMW.
Sasha – dresses like a bloke, screws like a rabbit.
Scarlett – stunnngly beautiful and with a temper like a nuclear explosion.
Selina – Doesn’t wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Shannon – Beautiful, curvaceous, should be a model.
Sharon – The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Shauna – Lives in a trailer, has 16 kids each with a different surname.
Shelly – very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
Sheree – Cute, but very loud! desperately needs a volume control.
Shirley – Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Shona – Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
Siobhan – Ginger Minger with a severe wind problem.
Sinead – Wears big knickers and a vest, but is secretly very sexual.
Sian – Does great sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Silka – Appears shy, but secretly Miss Whiplash the dominatrix.
Silke – Only ever has sex outdoors near her favourite tree.
Simone – Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.
Sonya – Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a “carrier”.
Sophia – Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her arse is the size of a small country.
Sophie – Brothel manager because she’s too ugly to be a working girl.
Stacey – Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo’s.
Steffi – Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Stella – reassuringly expensive, she’s worth every penny!
Stephanie – Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue/Susanne – should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
Summer – wears flowers in her hair, a pretty dress, and no knickers.
Sylvia – loves the outdoors. Mad.
Tammy – Kind-hearted and generous, particularly in the bedroom.
Tanya – Hot minx, too short.
Tara – Upper class slapper, enjoys random chemicals.
Teresa – surprisingly small given the amount of alcohol she drinks.
Teri – fun and flirty, sometimes annoyingly bouncy!
Tiffany – likes short skirts and low tops, spends a lot of time in front of a mirror.
Tina – Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori – Lives in a hedge, can’t water ski.
Tracy – Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey – Wears a lot of pink, wants to be a lesbian cos she thinks that would be cool.
Trudy – Genuinely nice lady, everybody loves her.
Ursula – Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
Val – usually drunk, doesn’t know where her knickers are.
Valerie – quaint and old-fashioned, someones aunt.
Vanessa – Beautiful, power-crazy bitch.
Vera – favouritr Aunty, smellsfaintly of lavender.
Veronica – closet lesbian who sleeps around to prove she isn’t!
Vicky – Likes Yoga. And Women.
Victoria – everybody loves her but not as much as she loves herself.
Vikki – Drinks anything so long as it’s got vodka in it.
Wendy – works on a building site, possibly a man.
Yasmin – Talks loud and fast, thinks she’s gorgeous.
Yvette – slightly timid, until she loses her temper and then watch out.
Yvonne – control freak and yet crap at everything she does.
Zakia – Wants to be a spy when she grows up, but needs to wash more often.
Zoe – Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.

Men’s Names

Aaron – ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam – cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
Adrian – usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan – shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex – cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Amir – Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.
Andy – boring and has a small pecker.
Andrew – gay and still has a small pecker.
Antonio – has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony – great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.
Arnold – loser.
Arthur – hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry – lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
Ben – funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bob – quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad – thinks everyone likes him…but they don’t.
Brandon – good looking but uses girls.
Brendan – quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett – world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian – mean and only thinks of himself, no he’s not the Messiah he’s just a naughty boy.
Bryan – sexy, but stupid – can’t spell.
Bronsen – annoying and never grows up – has a stupid name.
Bruce – stinks bad and thinks everyone else’s name is also Bruce.
Bryce – fun to be with and will make you laugh, you’ll kill him within a week.
Calvin – immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron – Australian
Carl – thinks he’s funny…he’s not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson – fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad – cute, sensitive and very studly – only found in American movies no real person has that name.
Charles – can’t trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris – can’t pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
Christian – very sexy and seductive (think ‘Legends of the Fall’).
Clark – hilarious and always in trouble, problem with ‘jailbait’.
Cliff – very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole – nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Con – lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Cory – funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig – tries to fit in – he never does.
Cyril – well, Cyril.
Damon – total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan – quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
Dane – weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Daniel – enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
Darren – charming , but sleeps with men.
Daryl – smells bad, has no real mates
David – total wanker – hated by all.
Dave – extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter – i.e. a wanker.
Dean – full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis – either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek – has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
Dominic – hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don – dickhead.
Doug – has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew – bad-arse losers who never shuts up.
Dylan – horny bastard, who can’t sing.
Dwayne – cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie – wants too many chicks he’ll never get cos he’s an arsehole.
Emrys – Load mouth gobby Shitte.
Elliott – Full of himself
Eric – shy.
Erik – funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
Evan – a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Frank – “different” – missing DNA – favours girls named Lucy.
Gareth – sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary – drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin – likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff – prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George – barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen – the sweetest guy – really down to earth
Greame – very hard to understand, likes group sex
Graham – will screw anything
Grant – HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg – really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Guy – Covers his back, has a small dick.
Harvey – cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem – smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls.
Haydn – tries hard.
Howard – likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn’t everybody!).
Ian – really popular but knows all the girls want him…yeh right!!!
Jake – shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie – Scum of the Earth.
James – built like a horse.
Jay – very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff – really ugly.
Jerome – gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy – loud and thinks that he’s all that he says he is.
Jesse – unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack – stupid but hot. Always alright.
Jim – sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe – built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel – arse.
John – has no friends or life – tends to kill small animals.
Jonathon – think he’s good – he’s shit.
Jordan – sexy but weird in bed.
Jose – hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh – full of himself, fun.
Junior – hotty and totally good at football.
Justin – aggravating, insecure & jealous.
Kain – the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin – Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis, really nice to women.
Keith – good person to talk to when you have a problem – his is worse.
Kenneth – very, very…anything you want him to be.
Kim – very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.
Kurt – can kick anyone’s arse, likes small boys.
Ky – see Kain.
Kyle – hornball who eats too many cornchips.
Larry – cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey – short and funny looking.
Lee – girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis – lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon – can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam – loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
Lorenzo – fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas – fat loser that dates other men.
Luke – seems to be sweet – Luke Solomons exactly!
Malcolm – tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Marc – Fantasises about pretty lights, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke – Tries to tell everyone
Mark – wished girls liked him for who he is, not his great looks, mouthy bastard though.
Martin – dresses in stolen gold, loud mouthed arsehole,wees in the bath
Michael – very good looking but he’ll do anything for a girl, which is totally sweet.
Mick – always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mitchell – the ugliest dog and he don’t get any.
Mohammed – Small Penis
Nathan – stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick – HORNY! but really nice – can’t get past the missionary position though.
Neil – sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Noel – an absolute diamond, sexy, funny and faultless….apart from when it comes to sorting out contents insurance for his home
Oliver – likes men but is in denial.
Oscar – loser, a good name for a dog.
Owen – cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick – cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in pricks.
Paul – drunk, drunk, drunk.
Peter – cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip – stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rashpal – C@@t
Reagen – …strange.
Rhys – great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long,long time ago.
Richard – cant see his feet balls are to big
Ricky – ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki – see above.
Rob – constantly watches porn.
Roy – total loser and computer genius.
Rupert – arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell – likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan – short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam – wannabe sex machine.
Scott – has serious disabilities.
Sean – has small testicles and no friends.
Seth – so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane – thinks everybody wants to shag him – he’s a virgin.
Shannon – the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun – bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon – likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Steve – popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stuart – droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Tim – hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby – best blow ever.
Tom – cool but can be arrogant.
Tony – hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Travis – fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor – sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy – cute and popular.
Taylor – gay.
Warren – cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley – great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will – wishes he were popular.
Zach – sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid – devious and sly. Not to be trusted.


  • Karen Scott
    August 21
    6:24 pm

    For the Jennifer’s out there:

    Jennifer – Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.

    For Monica’s:

    Control freak, but very pretty so we’ll let her off.

    Just for Dee Tenorio:

    Enormous mouth, gets a lot of work in porn movies.

    What can I say, I’m easily amused. *g*


  • Jane
    August 21
    7:33 pm

    I love being a pricktease (because torturing men and small animals is what I do when I am not being mean to authors) but the other name I have does not fit the description, much to my dismay.


  • Lyn Cash
    August 21
    8:03 pm

    “Lynnette – Has the attention span of a budgerigar, likes pretty things.”

    ROFL – uh, moi?


  • Rosie
    August 21
    8:06 pm

    My first name is two words and I’m not even from the south. So…

    Rose – Can be prickly, gives good head

    Marie – Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY

    The guy I live with…

    Greg – really sweet and feels sorry for himself

    What a duo!!! This is hilarious. You know I’m stealing this…don’t you?


  • Lori
    August 21
    10:31 pm


    Named for the vehicle she weighs the same as.

    Deciding that it doesn’t apply to me, snce it’s spelled differently…


  • Laura
    August 22
    12:35 am

    They got me wrong. I am such a bottom………


  • Desiree Erotique
    August 22
    4:03 am

    Funny stuff, She of the Huge Tits!

    But you left out mine:
    Desiree- desires much that leaves little to the imagination


  • Dawn
    August 22
    6:05 am

    OK, I do get up early, but (sniffing self) I don’t smell of chips.


  • sybil
    August 22
    7:00 am

    I am so abused. just saying…


  • Karen Scott
    August 22
    8:05 am

    Sybil, I did look for your name, and was surprised that it wasn’t there. I tell ya what, make one up for yourself!


  • Vicious Trollop
    August 22
    11:58 am

    Mine is: usually drunk, doesn’t know where her knickers are.

    It’s freaky how on the spot they are about that! LOL Wonder if they know me! *g*


  • Valeen
    August 22
    1:34 pm

    Big Surprise – Mines not there. LOL

    I could go with Val:

    Val – usually drunk, doesn’t know where her knickers are.



  • Beverly Havlir
    August 22
    3:47 pm

    I’m trapped in an eighties timewarp. So true, Karen! I was crazy about Duran Duran when I was high school. I just LOVE 80s music, still listen to it today, in fact, most of the songs in my ipod are 80s.
    So funny!


  • Dee
    August 22
    7:37 pm

    ROFL Karen!! I was howling at mine and damn near knocked over the kid when I saw you note it! LOL!

    Man, hubby is going to be shocked. (Er…not really, lol!)


  • Eve Vaughn
    August 22
    10:01 pm

    Shy and timid me? Hahaha, so wrong. And I don’t even drink!!


  • Monica
    August 23
    5:53 am

    LOL! I’d rather be Dee though and Jennifer’s would be only half right 😀


  • Larissa
    August 24
    5:43 pm

    This is hilarious. My name isn’t here, which isn’t a surprise…and for which I’m greateful! 🙂


  • Bam
    August 24
    7:45 pm

    Damn. My name is never on these things. Hell-O! Dionne happens to be a FAMOUS name! Doesn’t anybody remember Dionne Warwick? *sniff*


  • Karen Scott
    August 24
    8:05 pm

    Bam, I did actually look for your name, but it wasn’t there!


  • Hmm – “quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time”.


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