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Let’s Talk About Sex Baby…

Monday, January 1, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized

First things, first, Happy New Year to all of you!

Because I’m slightly hung over from the festivities of yesterday evening, I can’t be arsed blogging about anything deep and meaningful, and writing an outstanding review is way beyond me at the mo, so I’ll just blatantly steal one of Anne Marble’s most recent topics on the All About Romance list. She writes:

I love sex in books. I do. I wouldn’t read erotic romance books if I didn’t, and anybody who says otherwise is just plain lying.

Having said that, I must confess to skipping sex scenes from time time. Yes I do.

Although, I have to say, I generally only skip love scenes for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I’ll skip them, if the sex is getting in the way of a great book (Tara Janzen’s, Crazy series comes to mind). I’ll also skip, if the sex scenes are dull and unimaginative, or if they are a tad too adventurous.

I know that anal sex is all the rage these days, but quite frankly, I’d rather not read about the ins and outs of the act in a romance book. It just seems so unromantic somehow.

The minute the hero’s finger goes anywhere near the heroine’s anus, I kinda find myself clenching my butt in preparation, and that’s a pretty good indication of what’s coming up, so I just move on a few pages.

I read an ER story a while ago where, in one of the love scenes, the hero licked the heroine’s butt. All I could think at the time was, what if she hadn’t cleaned herself properly the last time she went for a number two? *Shudder*. The importance of hygiene should really never be underestimated, dontcha agree?

When I used to regularly read Harlequin category books, one of the things that used to annoy me no end, was how much some of the authors would avoid using the word, penis, to describe the hero’s cock.

Till this day, ‘manhood’ has got to be one of the most irritating words in romance. I never understood why they simply couldn’t call a cock, a cock, and a pussy a pussy, instead of pissing around with all the crap eupemisms.

Another reason for skipping sex scenes, is if they are too damned long. In Rhyannon Byrd’s Triple Play, there was sex scene that lasted for two hundred effing Microsoft Reader pages. Talk about over-cooking the fucking goose.

I love Linda Howard’s love scenes (mostly). They’re hot without being over the top explicit, and she does tend to mix things up a bit, although I have noticed that her heroes, (God love them) tend to sport massive hard-ons, for the duration of the book.

Surprisingly enough, I tend to skip Eve and Roarke’s love scenes, in J.D. Robb’s In Death books.


Because they’re mostly predictable, and I find that they’re usually too short for this reader to get to grips with. Plus, they also tend to have jack-rabbit/hit-and-run sex, which is ok now and again, but does tend to get a little boring after a while. Ya know I still love ya right, Nora?

Thea Devine’s love scenes tend to skeeze me out. Mostly because I’m not a huge fan of purple prose sex (unless you’re Lisa Valdez ). I’m still scarred from reading Sensation. Jesus, that book sucked arse.

Anyway, enough from me, what about you? What makes you skip love scenes? What makes you keep reading every word? What gets you hot?

In short, how do you like your sex? (g)

I see Laurell K Hamilton has another Negative Reader Rant up on her blog… Bless….

For those who can’t be arsed to click on the link, here’s some of what she wrote:

I’d say she was a little annoyed wouldn’t you? (g)

Yep, she’s pissed, alright.

I guess that tells you Bam, heheh.

I must admit, this particular paragraph got me a little worried for her sanity:

I mean, come on, buying presents for her characters? Seriously? Isn’t that a little…. ya know… weird?

Just sayin’.