I’m All For Realism, But There Is Such A Thing As Taking Things Too Far…
Sunday, January 14, 2007Posted in: Uncategorized
I was just reading the above book when I came across a few paragraphs that managed to take me completely out of the story:
His kisses trailed down, down, down until his nose nested in her muff. She moaned and lifted her hips so he could lick her clit. He responded, then raised his head and said, “What a sweet little pussy you’ve got, darlin’, but you’re awfully furry. Will you let me trim you up a bit?”
That dumped a bucket of ice all over her growing arousal. She grimaced, thinking of Nicole, who’d gotten a Brazilian wax once and complained about how painful it had been. “Umm, how?” Dana asked.
“Oh, nothing radical. I don’t want you to look like a little girl. I’ll use an electric razor.” Colt leaned back and picked one of her pubic hairs out of his teeth. “I just don’t enjoy nature’s dental floss.”
I was taken aback slightly, when the heroine’s pubic hair was referred to as ‘muff’, but the whole ‘nature’s dental floss’ thing? Not good.
There are just some things that I don’t need to read about, and a guy picking pubic hair out of his teeth, and having the audacity to tell the heroine that she’s growing a jungle between her legs, is certainly one of them.
Besides being unromantic, it’s just plain bad manners, especially if it’s your first time in bed together. How rude?
I’d have punched The Tall Guy, if he’d told me I needed a good trim the first time we ever slept together.
Looking at the fun chick-lit-type cover, who’d have thought that the words pubic hair, and teeth, would be used in the same sentence? You live and learn.
If your interest has been peaked however, you can check out The Wilder Brother, here.
Chez Moi
January 14
9:05 pm
Karen, as far as I know Suz deMello normally writes rather hardcore BDSM novels. I only know her quickie “For my Master”, where the heroine meets her master and has his initials tattooed on her vagina at the same day – all of course for an undercover operation *rollingmyeyes*.
This book was so repelling that I decided to put this author on my “do not try again list” – and now reading your comment on this uh pubic inferno I have to say I made the right decision. During the first time! *snort* even if it may be uh necessary, the hero gets definitely zero/zip/nada points for tactfulness.
Anonymous
January 14
9:48 pm
It’s never necessary. It’s teenage fanboi pickiness. Not in 1,500 years has anyone cared about pubic hair, and suddenly it’s so intensely horribly evil that a guy won’t touch a woman without having her shaved like a five-year-old.
Sick and disgusting.
Sarah McCarty
January 14
10:29 pm
Ok. Way to kill a mood and to eat a few teeth. LOL! Surely men have more survival instincts than that?!
Eve Vaughn
January 14
11:38 pm
Now you see Karen, every time you hate a book I have to buy it for myself LOL. Is that wierd?
seton
January 14
11:52 pm
that is some funny sh*t. thanks for the laugh of the day.
Anonymous
January 15
12:08 am
And she ends up with him at the end?!?!?
At least tell me she got her revenge by making him drink nothing but pineapple juice for an entire day. *g*
sallahdog
January 15
12:21 am
I think this is why I am skipping most sex scenes these days… It seems like its either “thrusting into her sweetest place, with a full ripeness of being” tripe, or its feels like a pelvic exam at the doctors, gone horribly wrong…
I am looking for that happy medium, correct terms, ok, but dang, can’t it still be a wee bit romantic? Or at least not grossing me out?
Dee
January 15
5:45 am
AHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAH!
*choke choke*
This was SUUUUUCH a bad time to be eating pink shredded wheat!
Desiree Erotique
January 15
6:22 am
LOL dee
There is something very favorable to say about this author’s style: it certainly makes Purple Prose look good by comparison 🙂
Barbara B.
January 15
12:11 pm
Karen, was the “hero'” shaved as well? Experiencing nature’s dental floss is just as likely during a blow job. Vulgar but true.
Anonymous
January 15
2:43 pm
Oh my. Talk about a ruined love scene. Ick.
Anonymous said…
It’s never necessary. It’s teenage fanboi pickiness. Not in 1,500 years has anyone cared about pubic hair, and suddenly it’s so intensely horribly evil that a guy won’t touch a woman without having her shaved like a five-year-old.
Sick and disgusting.
1/14/2007 09:48:56 PM
Oh, really? So you enjoy having those hairs stuck in your throat? THAT is disgusting.
And why compare a shaved woman to a child? That is really creepy, anon. Time to get that head of yours out of the gutter.
Anonymous
January 15
3:42 pm
Jaysus, that’s horrible! I don’t blame you one bit for being taking out of the story! ugh.
Jane
January 15
4:55 pm
OMG. THank’s for taking the hit for us. And look, a fight amongst anons. I love it.
Anonymous
January 15
5:08 pm
LOL, I posted to the anon, I left the time stamp in by accident so it looks like a new post.
I didn’t mean to come off sounding like I was looking for a fight though. Oops.
Dee
January 15
5:44 pm
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with fighting for a clean coochie! LOL!
It’s not always about being childlike–which, in my opinion is icky–but maybe more about not feelingl like the missing link. Some of us God seemed to think would appreciate being mistaken for Yetis, so we keep waxers in the high life by getting eyebrow waxes and lip waxes and leg waxes and so on. Personally, a woman with a pillow in her lap kinda grosses me out. A man who trims seems fair, too. Basically, I think everyone is justified to not want to need a machete to have sex.
But I still don’t want to read about a guy picking it out of his teeth. Yuck!
Dee
raine
January 15
6:01 pm
I just choked on my cigarette smoke…
bwaaaaa-ha-ha-haaaaa!!!!!
Anonymous
January 15
9:21 pm
*GASP* If anyone every said that to me, he’d be out of my bed so fast his head would be spinning like Linda Blair’s. That is just out of line. The whold thing just gives me shivers.
Anonymous
January 16
4:48 am
Oh my! Definitely not romantic, but it had me ROFL. And she is a published writer???
LorieHartt
January 16
10:16 pm
Good lord. Okay, first, bwahaha at Yeti’s.
But in all seriousness. I’d be off that bed and away from him so fast his eyes would spin. And I’d find it next to impossible to get close again, I’d be waiting for him to “critique” something else.
I know men can say some sometimes stupidly ill-timed things but that’s a new low.
Anonymous
January 17
2:58 am
Hm. As part of a sex scene that borders on nas-tay and certainly isn’t hot. I could see it more as post coital (and NOT put in those terms), but maybe he makes the offer to shape it into a heart for her as a symbol of their love (or something marginally less cheesy).
But never, ever should a man be talking about nature’s dental floss or the woman’s furry muff. I don’t care if she’s wearing hair panties down there, back to front, it does NOT get mentioned. If he doesn’t want it, he should leave, not offering to barber her before sex. Oiy. So wrong.
Anonymous
January 17
3:37 pm
Haven’t read the book but I’m digging the cover!
But.. where are they? Is that an elevator?