Oh Come On… Not Another One?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007Posted in: Not Another Fucking Negative Reviews post
I think somebody somewhere is wanting some link lovin. Well I’m too contrary for that shit, so I’ll just shamelessly take the piss out of her for being an attention seeking twat twit, and copy and paste her scribblings on here.
I wouldn’t mind, but she’s not even getting mad over a review of a book she wrote, she’s getting mad over a less than complimentary review of somebody else’s book.
Why would you expend that much energy on somebody else’s behalf? Increased blog traffic maybe? (g)
Anyway, she starts:
I’m still gritting my teeth over two reviews I read recently. I behaved though; I didn’t morph into a blog idjet and stomp my feet and foam at the mouth all over someone else’s blog. Nah – I reserve that pleasure for here. Okay – the cursing spewing from my brain right now is harsh even for here.
OK, she at least had the good grace to warn us, we here at Karen Scott Central love us some good manners.
She then continues with this slightly obvious tirade:
On Bam’s blog, there’s ANOTHER review of Bitch Mountain. Pretty much the same review Bam did but with more NASTY (rhymes with tasty – see blog dictionary) tossed in for flavor. It’s one thing to review a story and say you didn’t care for it and poke some fun at it in a snarky, humorous way.
It’s another to drop your drawers and take a shit all over it. All I could think when I read the review was “you Mean bitch.” I like bitches. Some of my best friends are TOTAL bitches. I enjoy refining my own bitchiness into an art form. That was just pure ugly bitch.
Bam hunny bunny, is she talking about you? How dare she? You’re not ugly at all, you’re hotness personified, and if I was that way inclined, I’d totally do you. Can I set her pubic hair on fire for telling such dastardly untruths? Can I, can I? No? Ok then.
Anyway, she carries on, cuz ya know… she’s reeeeal mad, and she .. ya know… wants us to know how mad she reeeeally is:
AND (oh yeah – we’re not done with this rant) if that wasn’t bad enough, the reviewer made at least two references to how “Surprised” and “OMG!” she couldn’t BELIEVE she liked Darragha’s story. Was that supposed to be a little sugar covering the stink of that review? PUUULLEASE!
She seems to forget that authors clamour for Bam to read their books. They know the score, the problem is, they think that their book is soo good that everybody and his pet mouse are gonna love it. *Sigh* When will these people learn?
I particularly liked this next bit, it made me want to laugh out loud.
Another review that torqued me off because the reviewer was just plain old-fashioned dense was the review of Megan Hart’s “Dirty” which just came out. I’m almost finished reading it now and when I read the review on Dear Author, I was stunned and thought WTF?
Jayne totally trashed the novel. Okay. So she REALLY didn’t like it. Fine. But her comments made me wonder if she had read it or did a speed read skimming. Or has her life been so perfect and without the slightest taint of trauma that she couldn’t comprehend the character’s struggle to overcome the psychological scars she’s carried since childhood.
Dammit Jayne, you’re such a total bitch. How dare you not love, LOVE the freaking book? How dare you! Now go and stand in the corner until you can play nicely with the other fucktards.
Anyway, she goes a little pyschotic, and tries to explain what was so freaking fantabulous about the book that that bitch, Jayne, hated. It went on for a while, so I just kinda skimmed. I have this short excerpt for you to enjoy however:
Megan Hart did a phenomenal job in writing this story and touching on a topic that just isn’t discussed, by those who are broken, those who broke them or those who silently watched and didn’t do a damn thing to help.
Yeah.
You know, I’ve never read a Megan Hart book, but that paragraph alone would have stopped me from ever picking one of her books up. I’m contrary that way.
To top it off, she finished off with this little gem:
Oh, oh! And THEN to top off what was a completely ignorant review, the reviewer takes jabs at another author in the comments portion that had praised the work. Lauren Dane (another author I read EVERYTHING she writes) is a friend of Megan’s and wrote a strong, positive review.
Somehow the fact that they are friends was an issue for the reviewer. So she not only crapped all over Megan’s book, she started crapping on her reviews. Not someone I can take seriously from now on. It must be nice to be so perfect.
Hee hee hee.
You know honey, it really is OK for people not to like the same things. Really, it is. Now get back into that lovely beige-coloured, lace-up jacket before those temperamental people in the white coats come lookin for ya, go on, quickly now. There’s a good girl.
Dontcha just love having your own blog? You can say lots of mean things, and if anybody bitches about it, you can just tell them that it’s your blog and you’ll say what you want to. *Happy sigh*.
Life is good.
How are you doin today? (g)
Chantal
January 30
9:52 pm
Hehe, I found the blog you speak off. Google rocks!
Jane
January 30
9:52 pm
I feel bad that poor Ja(y)ne who hasn’t read Dirty nor reviewed it, is getting slagged to death on another blog. Or should I feel insulted that they aren’t bitching about me? I want to be included in the bitchfest with Bam and Jayne.
But maybe Karen Scott Central could recommend other books that I should buy that I won’t like because generally that is how I make decisions with my money. Hmm, what book or item will I like the least?
FerfeLaBat
January 30
9:55 pm
Link to original rant dammit! … please. Email it if you must. FerfeLaBat @ Aol.com (Delete spaces). I am google impaired today.
I should be working.
Karen Scott
January 30
9:55 pm
Chantal, I knew somebody would cut and paste into Google, but I refuse to direct link, lol!
Jane, I soo knew that review wasn’t by Jayne, hehe.
Bam
January 30
10:00 pm
Bam hunny bunny, is she talking about you? How dare she? You’re not ugly at all, you’re hotness personified, and if I was that way inclined, I’d totally do you.
Naw, girl… the 2nd review of “A Witch in Time” was by my buddy, Shuzluva. She’s been helping me out with reviews ’cause school is slowly killing me inside and i can’t get to my TBR.
For the record, I love that sassy-ass bitch. She’s a girl after my own heart. A little braver than me, though.
P.S. jane, who knew that the only thing that separated you from the other ja(y)ne was… a Y.
Bam
January 30
10:10 pm
dear science, i just noticed that a y in the middle of two parentheses looks like a butt.
shuzluva
January 30
10:15 pm
Karen, I agree that Bam is hotness personified. She tells it like she sees it, which is all you can ask for. I frequently don’t agree with her, but I respect her opinion and love that she’s passionate about both her reading and writing.
A little braver than me, though.
Eh, I don’t think so. She asked me if I was upset that people were slicing me to ribbons. The truth is, I’m angry that there are people attacking her for something I wrote. She doesn’t deserve that crap.
Sarah McCarty
January 30
10:22 pm
Bam,
I wouldn’t say that it looks like a butt. LOL!
Anne
January 30
10:23 pm
I think it looks like the frontside rather than the backside *G*
And seriously, why, why, why do people get all in a snit and go off? Do they not realize it makes them look silly? Everyone has a right to their own opinion. Oye.
Karen Scott
January 30
10:25 pm
Bam, I’ve been staring at this for well over ten minutes, and I can’t say it looks like an arse to me. *g*
Candy
January 30
10:36 pm
dear science, i just noticed that a y in the middle of two parentheses looks like a butt.
Looks more like a female crotch to me.
On to non-crotch-related matters: That rant and the subsequent comments are veddy veddy amusing–if their writing is of the same caliber as their reading comprehension…well, watch out, Cassie Edwards. Others are gunnin’ for the Worst Romance Novel Ever Published award.
Bam
January 30
10:41 pm
Okay, karen, you’re right. I misspoke. It looks more like camel toe. Camel toe than only jodhpurs can create.
Dude, i just need to point something out. I started my blog because I LOVE romance novels. It’s because of LOVE that i do this. You, Sybil, me, The smart bitches, the Ja(y)nes, mrs. giggles… none of us would be blogging about this stuff if we didn’t give a shit about it. I read four-five books each week on top of my homework but only review 1-2. how do i choose which ones to review? ’cause I have something to say about them.
I wouldn’t blog about the book if all I can type up is a rehash of the blurb on the back of the book and say shit like, “it’s okay, i guess”. Every week, I write practically a TREATISE on the book I give a shit about. Ask Sybil. most of the time, my reviews are almost as long as the book themselves. I. GIVE. A. SHIT.
As a friend told me, “Far better that anyone talks about the book than it die unmentioned and
unnoticed.”
Chantal
January 30
11:45 pm
Oh I love all these comments. You girls are funny, lol
FerfeLaBat, did anyone email you the link yet?
Kat O+
January 31
9:53 am
The comments I found most interesting were along the lines of “I used to read Bam’s reviews until she got too snarky”. Meaning, until she gave a bad grade to a book written by a friend or a book they really, really loved.
And I read the comment thread on Dear Author. Lots of commenters stuck up for that book. I can’t see that it did the book much harm at all. Even Jane admitted that it seemed to be selling well, and that maybe it was her and not the book.
I notice the blogger only started her blog last November, so maybe she’s just new to the concept of reader-reviewer blogs (and the snark therein).
Eva Gale
January 31
2:52 pm
Huh. I thought Jane’s review was good. I didn’t think there was anything to be offended about.
Ferfe-I thought you called yourself a computer god? What kind of god can’t find a blog?
Eva Gale
January 31
3:17 pm
I e-mailed pita the link.
Karen Scott In Bristol
January 31
5:16 pm
I already sent FLB the link Eva.
“I used to read Bam’s reviews until she got too snarky”.
Kat I’ve noticed that lots of authors on Bam’s blog find her hilarious until it’s their work being sliced and diced. They seem to think it’s ok to laugh their tits off when it’s somebody else, but they soon lose their sense of humour when Bam gives them a low grade, and goes to town on their own offering. Hypocrites, the lot of them.
Ann(ie)
January 31
6:14 pm
Typically I agree with Bam’s thoughts on a book. The only one I’ve thought she was a little off target on was FINDING HOME, but then I’m probably the ideal audience for that book. I just posted where my opinion differed and why, though.
But wow, that’s a really heated rant, isn’t it? I don’t quite understand the acrimony. If you send your book to a site that’s known for snarkastic reviews, you shouldn’t be surprised if the book takes a few hits. And there are SOME readers that will buy a book just to see what’s so BAD about it. I bet Cassie Edwards bounces in glee everytime Candy gets going on her. Any press is good press. At least people are talking about it.
FerfeLaBat
January 31
7:08 pm
First: Eva. I? Amd not a PITA. You would know this if you had ever read Nora Roberts, which you haven’t. Because you haven’t you can’t say that I am wrong.
Second: Rants? Should be entertaining. So should snark. When Bamm goes batshit over a new LKH blog post or book, that is a rant and qualifies as entertaining. That blog post? Falls under the classification of “watered down, imitation clue cake”. If you are going to bitch where I can read it, please put everything you’ve got into it. Snark the ever-loving shit out of the subject. Run up and over the top. Or, go for the inigmatic unfinished haiku: Those Snark reviews sucked! There. I said it. Now I am f …
There’s no creativity on the blogs anymore I swear. Still. It’s her blog and she can bitch all day on it. Blogs exist for this reason. I used to think they existed for my personal entertainment. Aparently … they do not.
Sigh.
Eva Gale
January 31
10:22 pm
FLB- I see you gave no proof as to your goddessness over computers. No. You just gave me a skittle / Diet Coke induced answer stating that because I had not read Nora I could not define a pita?
It’s a piece of feckin flat bread. ;p
Darragha!
February 1
12:24 am
So I wrote a story that 3 reviewers were surprized they liked in an athology that no-one liked. I’m laughing all the way, darlings.
I adore Bam.
I have nothing but respect for Mrs. G.
I’ve been snarked and I’ve been ridiculed without mercy by a group of strangers. I’ll take the snarks over that experience any day.
Perhaps I’d better make Karen’s blog a “daily” look-see, too 🙂
Darr
FerfeLaBat
February 1
3:06 am
Translator please?
Rachel Carrington
February 1
3:55 am
This type of stuff makes me laugh my ass off. There’s loyalty, and then there’s psychosis. I mean, going to that extreme to defend a book?????
I’ve received bad reviews before, some of which were definitely snarky, but that’s what falls under the heading of “someone’s opinion that isn’t mine.”
Hee-hee. I need to visit here more often!
bam
February 1
4:08 am
FLB, my site reviewed “A Witch in Time” which is an anthology featuring Darragha’s work. I did a review, a friend did a review. We both only liked Darragha’s story. Mrs. Giggles also only liked the same story. The reason there was “OMG” and “surprised” was because the friend had reviewed Darragha’s work before and her contribution to the anthology was the first work of Darragha’s that she liked.
Oh. And she thinks Karen is rocks hardcore. As we all do.
bam
February 1
4:11 am
well, bloody hell. I was typing too fast last time. And consequently, chatting with Sybil at the same time.
You may need a translator for the above post.
FerfeLaBat
February 1
4:17 am
k.
So.
Damn.
My head just …
Why can’t we buy just the ONE story? There should be a way. No sleep tonight I guess. This one will bug me all the way back to my book segment theory.
Working way too hard lately.
Laura
February 1
6:42 am
Fangirl with a blog and a stick up her butt.
Sybil
February 1
7:17 am
HEY! Don’t blame me because you didn’t make sense! 😛
It wasn’t the rant that annoyed me, cuz I don’t know who the fuck that is anyway.
But the authors in the thread… that was some what disappointing. But whatever is clever.
Ann(ie)
February 1
8:03 am
Oddly, I don’t really mind what people say about my work. Early on I developed a very thick skin. You almost have to when you’re starting out and you’re not as good as you -want- to be. The problem is, many authors don’t have a realistic vision of their talents. They think each word is perfect, set down from God’s mouth to their ears, and if a reader doesn’t see that, well, then they must be stupid. I don’t know how many authors I’ve caught saying that or implying it.
Me, I know that everything I write isn’t going to resonate with everyone, because it’s a deeply subjective thing. Like any art, writing is personal. If I tell a story about living in the bayou and you grew up in Lousiana, I damn well better have my facts straight or you’ll call me on it. But if I get it right, it’s going to speak to you way more than it will somebody who grew in Oregon. I don’t say the reader from Oregon won’t like my story, but maybe she won’t feel it like you do. There’s a difference between liking something and feeling it. You know that deep down gut feeling when you read something that hits you just right.
That’s why writers are going for, everytime, with their stories, but we can’t take everybody there, 100% of the time. All we can do is write the story to the best of our abilities and hope it hits the mark.
I know I’ve written some wicked awful shit in my time, but as long as I know that, I’ll get better. The people who can’t accept criticism never will, and that’s stagnation, another kind of death. I can’t imagine anything sadder than that for someone who purports to bring the written word to life.
LSB Author, Darragha Foster
February 1
4:33 pm
>>>>Why can’t we buy just the ONE story?
I have lots of non-anthology stories out there. Please feel free to buy any one of them. Buy them, read them, snark them or place them dead-center of a pentagram and bleed chickens over them. As you wish.
Incidently, Bammie is total hotness embodied. Absolutely true.
Jackie
February 2
3:59 am
I love Bam. Adore her. Want to carry her love child. (Well, maybe not that.) And one of the things I appreciate the most is her brutal honesty. Ditto Mrs Giggles, Paperback Reader, the Ja(y)nes, etc. If I wanted the “Oh, your writing is perfect” reviews, I’d stick with giving my mom copies of my book. (As long as she skips the nookie scenes.)
Sure, scathing reviews suck. They hurt. But unless they’re of the “Hate this and that’s all I have to say” variety, chances are there’s something the author can learn from them. I’ve taken notes on the criticism I’ve been getting for my book, and I’m keeping it in mind as I write/copy edit the next books. I even plan on taking one consistent criticism and turning it into a series plot point. Hell, gotta grow, don’t we?
That’s just it: without meaningful (if snarky) feedback, how are we supposed to know whether our intended audience enjoys our writing…and how we could improve it?
No, we don’t have to take all advice given. But something that I’ve found is that if three or more people all have the same criticism, then you know what? It ain’t them. It’s you. Me. Whatever.
Anyway, all hail Bam.
bam
February 2
5:03 am
::blushing::
well… damn.
Karen Scott
February 2
7:52 am
I love you too Bam. You are hotness itself. (g)