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“I have said this before but now I am going to organize it. Snarky and bitchy are not interchangeable words. Snark is humor. Bitchy is just mean. Bitchiness indicates the person is in ill humor. Snarkiness indicates the person is finding humor in just about everything. There are quite a few bloggers and websites claiming to be snarky. They are bitchy. Huge difference.

Bitchy: Did you dress in the dark this morning?

Snarky: [Wouldn’t say jack about a friend’s clothing unless the friend asked how they look and then … THEN they would simply ask the friend:] “What kind of” or “How many” looks were you shooting for?

Bitchiness requires the IQ of a gnat. Snarkiness requires a few more brain cells.
There is an art to Snark. Anyone who enjoys Hamster Time and Television Without Pity understand this. But what makes it snark and what makes something else mean and bitchy. I’m going to build the list here.”

Cindy Cruciger AKA FerfeLabat.com

Blog Etiquette 101 ~ Careful commenting April 1

III. Be ready to apologize.

I do not believe there is a point in any career, writing or something else, where polite consideration for others is optional. You would be surprised at how quickly a bad situation can end by offering a simple, sincere apology. You don’t have to say you were wrong if you don’t think you were. But if an apology seems in order for allowing a debate to get too heated, offer it. When faced with extremely rude behavior from other bloggers, drain the poison. There is no subject online worthy of stress, a sleepless night or taking a day off from work. See the train coming and step off the tracks.

IV. Don’t make it personal.

Use the word “You” very carefully. Whether you mean to or not, when writing to a reader, using the word “You” is speaking directly to the reader. Used indiscriminately or incorrectly, “You” can end up putting the reader on the defensive and the conversation can get ugly very quickly. If you mean to address another poster personally, be clear who you are talking to. Otherwise, reread your posts and strip the direct references.

V. Take a break from the harsh blogs and boards.

Disagreements can be fun and in many cases creative, but too much of it can make you sick. An overload of it can turn you mean. If you find yourself carrying an online debate into your everyday life then it’s time to take a break from the blogs. This is hard to do because for some, online attention is an adrenaline rush. They get addicted to the instant gratification. It’s the same with authors who compulsively check their Amazon.com rating. There’s some weird kind of validation there and they crave it. Break away from it the instant you find yourself hitting refresh more than five times on a subject. Get out of your chair and go out.

If you are blogging for the long haul, pace yourself and keep your ego from expanding into infinite space. No one is handing out rewards for the worlds most brilliant blog comment.

Cindy Cruciger, AKA Ferfelabat.com April 1st 2007

I am deliberately fucking with Jane, Candy, & Sybil (as god is my witness I did not mean to upset Karen again). They know it. I know it. We are professional snarkers and in no way shape or form should you take anything we say or do when we go at it seriously. It’s fun. I respect them all. But sometimes someone has to fuck with them to keep them on their toes. It’s a tough job, sometimes dangerous – well always dangerous – and I am just the bat to do it. Do not do as I do.

Cindy Cruciger, AKA Ferfelabat.com – May 20th 2007″

“So. There I was reading the latest publisher smack down over at DearAuthor.com (Hey, I love a good train wreck as much as the next person when work gets boring. Where do you think I get characters for my books?) and wondering if Heebie Jeebies really is a horrifically racist term (but not enough to Google it) while admiring the similarities to the Imus vs Al show a few weeks back …”

Cindy Cruciger AKA Ferfelabat.com

“I rarely link over to this blog (insert KarenS link) in public posts anymore, though I fully admit to a handful of private online conversations trying to figure “WTH is she up to now?”. But recently she’s been posting some interesting, soul searching, personal Q & A type sessions and I think she deserves some answers that are more in depth than just “I just LOVE your blog because you are Oh so honest” lip service.

I could be completely wrong, but it’s possible some past dust ups could be laid to rest while mecury is in retrograde over there. Not on my part because she never slam danced my work or pilloried me personaly in a post, but the rest of you may want to check in and see if fences could be mended by a little online honesty.

It could also be a calculated lure in prelude to another slam fest, but maybe not.

If you are timid then wait and see how badly I get flamed (or just ignored) before dipping a toe in over there. No risk, no gain, right? And maybe you can check that niggling itch off your “Shit I wish I never had to deal with” list and use that segment of your brain for positive, productive projects. Oh. And don’t go there if you are still pissed as hell.

That never works out. Be prepared to state your piece in a constructive way and step off. Also be prepared for the fangirl backlash because it’s still not a moderated blog. Only been blogging for 2 1/2 years? Damn. She’s done some amazing damage in a really short time. I bow.

Anyway. That was how I wasted thirty minutes today. Boredom is going to be the death of me someday I swear.

eta – false alarm. She’s just looking for absolution and encouragement to continue. Hard to read the crazy mean ones sometimes.”

Cindy Cruciger AKA Ferfelabat.com

• FerfeLaBat Jul 21
“Oh and FWIW Goofing on Candy’s cleavage and saying that two women in cute costumes brought down the entire romance writing community are very different things.”

Selah March Jul 19
“This is the thing: I can’t imagine either Candy or Sarah writing a review like this. Making fun of plot inconsistencies, stupid characters, word misuse? Definitely. Saying the book put them to sleep it was so dull, or made them laugh out loud at the overly dramatic prose? Absolutely. Mocking to the razor’s edge of cruelty? Sometimes.

But doing everything but calling the author a soulless monster because she killed of a character they liked? Not if the book was well-written. They might express disappointment, but that’s not this. This is, in fact, the personal attack on an author that Jane insists she doesn’t do.

• And it seems to be just peachy-keen with almost everybody, doesn’t it?
I’m disillusioned yet again by our peers. I think I might need to take a break from the bloggage.”

Yo ANYTHING that makes Karen Scott cry is fine and dandy with me. High Five Ms Slaughter. Now all we need is for Scott to repost snippets from the spoiler letter and see if the Slaughter curse kicks in. Not the first part, obviously that barn door was left open ages ago, but the Herpes …”

Cindy Cruciger AKA Ferfelabat.com

“eta – I worked very hard at pissing off Jane, Candy, Sarah and Karen so they would never EVER mention me or link to me. It would be beneath them. Where did I fail? A year and a half of carefully timed contrary comments down the drain.”

Cindy Cruciger AKA Ferfelabat.com