What Would You Do?
Thursday, November 8, 2007Posted in: You smell like crusty knickers but I still love you
I was listening to my fave radio station earlier, where the presenters were asking their audience what they would do, if they worked with someone who smelt bad. Would they tell them, or would they say nothing, and just live with the smell?
It was most amusing to listen to some of the answers, but it did strike a cord with me.
Years and years ago, I had a girl who worked for me, who not only smelt like unwashed knickers, she also used to look really scruffy, and she had a bird’s nest thing going on with her hair. (I’d inherited her with the job.)
The thing was, she was absolutely wonderful at her job, she was super-organised, and the clients liked her. Now if she’d been a back office member of staff, then I probably would have just lived with it, but unfortunately, she was in the public eye quite often, so something had to be done.
I thought for ages about how to broach the subject, then I decided that I simply couldn’t tell her that she looked a mess, and that she stunk to high heaven.
Instead, I booked the whole office a make-over, fully equipped with a beauty consultant, and got our local Toni and Guy to give us all free haircuts.
Yep, totally chicken shit thing to do, but dammit, it worked. She had a new do, started wearing make-up, and the ripe smell was downgraded to just mildly sweaty armpits. Score.
So, what would you do if you had a colleague, or a friend who had a serious case of bad body odour? Would you tell him/her, or would you just live with it?
Also, is it worse when the person who smells is a woman?
Gina Black
November 8
8:46 pm
I think your solution was brilliant.
shiloh walker
November 8
9:04 pm
I’d say your solution was the perfect one. Not at all a cowardly way out… you dealt with the issue in a way that didn’t leave her feeling insulted or embarrassed.
I dunno if I’d have that kind of tact. I’ve had to deal with before when I was still working the day job, but it was with some patients, not my co-workers.
phsymom
November 8
9:19 pm
The only time this has come up for me, I worked in an industrial plant. I was also one of the few women working there at the time. The guys had no tact and just bough deoderant, soap, washclothes, toothpaste, toothbrush and shampoo. They left is all on the guys desk with a note that said “please use frequently.”
Sad but true.
I’m just glad I’ve never been the person elected to tell someone.
Desiree Erotique
November 8
9:25 pm
I don’t know about bird nest hair, but I had a friend who would go weeks without washing hers. I finally gave her a basket with a variety of different shampoos for her birthday. She got the message, and her hair was clean & beautiful after that.
A neighbor had a terrible aversion to soap and water. I finally had to cover my nose whenever she came around. Soon she stopped coming over at all. I heard from others she thought I was snooty; but they also reported her kids were starting to stink, too, lol. So I just counted myself lucky.
Rosie
November 8
10:30 pm
My first job as a ‘go-fer’ was at a hospital. On one of the medical floors was a nurse that smelled bad and looked unkept. B-A-D. Can you imagine being sick and having someone who smells terrible and looks awful taking care of you? In our case there were enough patients complaining that she got written up and cleaned up. Until the next time. It was a vicious cycle for literally years. Thankfully my exposure was short, but oh so NOT sweet.
KristenMary
November 8
11:01 pm
I work in manufacturing and have had the job of sending home an employee who smelled awful. He was given a warning that he needed to clean up (no pun intended) his act. It worked for a while but then he went back to the ways of wearing the same t-shirt for days on end. In the summer, in So. Cal, in a machine shop. Talk about smelly.
We’ve had the opposite problem also where our sales manager wore so much perfume we had to ask her to tone it down. She would literally use 12-13 squirts of perfume right before our daily production meeting. You almost needed a gas mask to be near her. Finally upper managment had a little chat with her and the perfume slowly went to a normal level.
Wendy
November 8
11:51 pm
My sense of “stink” has gotten incredibly tolerant after years of working with the public. Unless someone smells like an open sewer I really won’t notice. How sad is that?
Neither here nor there, The Boyfriend had a business trip yesterday that required air travel. Lucky man got to sit next to (and I quote) an “old lady” who smelled like “cat piss.” And goodie for him, they were delayed taking off, so he got to prolong the experience…..
katieM
November 9
12:37 am
I have two students who wear so much cologne that it make my nose burn and my eyes water. That’s before the coughing fits. I’ve told them both that they were too much and I’ve told their parents. All to no avail. I guess I’ll have to have a really bad asthma attack before they get the hint.
Eve Vaughn
November 9
1:31 am
I’ve been in that situation. I worked with a lady who had a really strong odor. Thing is everyone was talking and laughing behind her back. I actually felt sorry for her so I took her aside one day and told her what everyone else didn’t want to say to her face. I tried to tell her as respectlly as I could. She went to HR and told on me. She said I created a hostile work environment for her. Lesson learned. The next time I have a stinky co-worker I have I’m going to let them figure it out for themselves and keep lots of Lysol at my desk.
Marianne LaCroix
November 9
1:59 am
I actually had to tell a co-worker that she offended. I tried to do it as delicately as possible. You can’t ignore someone smelling who is supposed to bathe patients. (I was the nurse over her.) She did seem to get the message. I think she was more embarrassed than anything. I did see her in the parking lot of a grocery store years later, she looked a bit scruffy, but she didn’t smell. (By accident I parked next to her car, so she stopped me to talk. No smell of BO…I’d say that was an improvement.
Anonymous
November 9
2:25 am
I worked with a stockboy who was not only smelly but on the large size, oh and had the plummer butt thing going and every time I would take my lunch break he would come and the back room to do stock or what ever it got so bad that I went to my boss and had a word with her…………oh and get this I could not eat cheese for a long while after because that is what he smelled like………….
Kristie (J)
November 9
5:14 am
Karen: What a stunningly brilliant way you handled it. I’ve never run across that situation, but if I ever do, now I know what I would do for said person’s birthday!!!!
Kat O+
November 9
8:38 am
My first thought was to send the team to a personal deportment class, but a make-over sounds even better. I don’t think you could have handled that any more tactfully.
I’m very bad at confrontation, so I probably would have done the same thing.
I don’t think it’s any better or worse if it’s a woman. It’s definitely worse if they’re sitting next to you. The worst for me was when I used to commute to work. At peak times, seats on the train were hard to come by, but because my station was at the beginning of the line, I could usually snag a cozy window seat. Unfortunately, if someone with a noticeable odour sat next to me, I either had to bear it or give up my seat.
katieM–I reckon at my old high school the teacher would have sent those kids off to wash the smell away. Then again, we had rules for hair cuts (nothing radical), hair colour (nothing unnatural looking), nail polish and make-up (none), etc. so it wouldn’t have been a stretch to ask students to get rid of smelly cologne.
Dawn
November 9
9:14 am
I would have just grimaced and borne it!
Years ago I temped at Abbey National and there was a lady there who smelled like fish (or punany). It was such a strong smell, but she was quite nice. Luckily I was only there for short while.
Only recently I discovered that it wasn’t a case of bad hygiene, but actually a medical condition!
MERLIN
November 9
12:03 pm
So – was that Dynamo Kiev or a Hartlepool Schoolboy 11 ?
Another day ; another 4 goals.
I give smelly women a good bath before I shag them rigid.
(Am I allowed to say that here?)
M x
Dalia
November 9
1:16 pm
Dawn said: “Years ago I temped at Abbey National and there was a lady there who smelled like fish (or punany)”
I am cracking up!! Esp. since I spell it poonanny in my head!
Karen Scott
November 9
1:22 pm
Years ago I temped at Abbey National and there was a lady there who smelled like fish (or punany).
Dawn, that had me in hysterics, and like Dalia, I spell it differently in my head! I spell it punani!
And Merlin, it was an awesome performance wasn’t it? It did my heart good to see that Arsenal didn’t actually score, against a team they spanked last time round. Could they be coming to their dodgy time, performance wise?
And yes, you can say whatever you like on here, because you are a Man U supporter, and all my fellow United Brethrens have special privileges on my blog. *g*
M.
November 9
2:33 pm
I come from a culture in which everyone is very fastidious about hygiene (men and women alike). The one time I had to deal with something like that was in high school, but a teacher took care of it. It involved a girl so it was sad. You know how unforgiving kids can be. They used to call her by the name of a popular brand of deodorant.
In all my jobs there have been dress codes, so that is something I’ve never had to deal with at work either. The problem has been more on the side of too much perfume (which can be equally annoying).
If at work I sat close to someone that smelled, I would probably speak with the HR department and let them handle it. If that didn’t work, anonymous note with a few “recommendations”.
I think your idea was smart and nice too, Karen, sadly, is not an option for most of us.
Kristie (J)
November 9
3:16 pm
Where I work they have a no perfume policy. Now whenever I wear some myself or go somewhere where there is a lot of it, I really notice it. Some good – some gives me headaches. Mine of course is good *g*
Bonnie Dee
November 9
4:19 pm
Wow, what an interesting topic. I enjoyed reading everyone’s stories and am glad I haven’t had to deal with anything like that myself. A co-worker with bad breath was the closest I’ve gotten. I know I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to someone like that. Not even if we were very close–maybe especially then.
I simply can’t imagine a person not realizing they were hygenically challenged. How could you look yourself in the mirror with unwashed hair and dirty, stinky clothes and think, “Yep. This look works for me.”
Teddy Pig
November 9
7:17 pm
In the military we did horrid things to guys who did not shower. I do not think that is advisable in civilian occupations especially the steel wool and the hosing down.
avidbookreader
November 10
2:53 am
You got a better nose than me! How you handled it was pretty good. It’s not an easy subject to broach with a stranger, co-worker, on personal hygiene. I think we do these folks an injustice by NOT saying anything or doing anything about it (directly or indirectly). If I looked a mess or had lipstick on my teeth or my zipper was down or I had toiler paper under my shoe, heck, I’d want SOMEBODY to tell me!! Just sayin…
You did good. I’m all for brutal truth myself.
Keishon
avidbookreader
November 10
2:54 am
oh er, excuse me, I mean’t “toilet paper.”
I’m outta here.