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Sunday, December 30, 2007
Posted in: Excerpts that make you wanna say no

I just read an excerpt, where the heroine is in a witness protection programme, hiding away in a safe house, but for some inexplicable reason, she’s told her mother and sisters where she is, so they’ve sent her birthday cards.

Can we say, Too Stupid To Fucking Live?

I don’t think I’ll be buying the book.

I like Ken Levine, and I usually find him quite amusing, but I have noticed that he has a penchant for ragging on female Hollywood celebs much more so than the men. I guess it’s an age thing, but I honestly find him terribly sexist.

His post about Nicole Kidman’s movie choices, and her alleged plastic surgery annoyed me so much that I had to comment. Three times.

It also annoyed me that he had two photographs of Kidman, one from years ago, and a more recent one, obviously to point out the changes made to her face.

It seems to me that in Hollywood, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Everybody knows that the work dries up for women over forty in La La Land, much more so than for their male counterparts, so you can hardly blame them for trying to keep up with the younger, fresher starlets, in a town where a woman is only as good as her last botox injection.

I can probably excuse Ken for his sexism, after all he’s nearly a hundred years old from a different generation (57 is a different generation to mine dear), and he’s a bit of a shock-jock, but when I read this comment from some dumbass, I just about burst a blood vessel:

You know what I say to that? Screw you bitch for perpetuating the belief that any attempts at self-improvement by women is a heinous crime.

In a world where youth is revered, and old age becomes an excuse to not employ somebody, there’s no such thing as growing old gracefully, (unless you’re lucky enough to be born with great genes). All there is is growing old, and either accepting that age comes to everybody, or fighting it tooth and nail.

She wasn’t the only annoying commenter however:

Sheesh. I of course had to respond to the genius who wrote that, even if it was three weeks later.

I’m not a huge fan of plastic surgery, but I think it’s wrong to constantly slag off the women in Hollywood who do have them, when so many Hollywood men are also going under the knife, with very little being said. And no, Michael Jackson doesn’t count.

Totally off-topic, but why is it that men can’t go shopping without having to pee a hundred times, and making you (read: me) wait for 15 minutes each time they have to relieve themselves? Sheesh.

Blackromancereader brings up a good point: how come Harlequin aren’t offering any freebie Kimani Press books, along with The Billionaire Sheik’s Virgin’s Secret Baby?

Surely this would be the perfect way to promote AA penned romance to the traditional white romance reader?

Maybe nobody at Harlequin even gave it a thought. Now that wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

Mind you, you would have thought that some of the KP authors might have stood up and made the same point.

The more things change, the more they stay the same I guess.

I followed the link that Anon supplied in a comment below, and I found this fascinating blog post. Here’s a snippet:

“Amid rumors of financial mishandling, Peacock Cove e-book publisher, Rebecca Gatto, plans to exchange vows with Charles “Chip” Davis in February 2008. Davis is also known as inmate # 5447632 at Fern Valley State Penitentiary.”

I can’t imagine that any publisher would flaunt herself in her undies, like the photo suggests, but how funny if it were true? Spoof or not, it sure is amusing, heheh.

I was just over at Erecsite, on the Whiskey Creek Press post, (they do so have interesting stuff over there) when this comment by Pepper Espinoza caught my eye:

“Liquid Silver has a sales requirement *and* a length requirement. They also flat out said that authors with a “good relationship” with the publisher will have priority for print, all else being equal. They claim that everything that meets those requirements will be moving into print at some point, but I have no idea when that’ll happen.”

I was a little gob-smacked. Does this mean that if an author doesn’t make nice with the publisher, that their books take much longer to go to print?

I always wondered if this was the case with Elloras Cave. There always used to be certain authors who’s books were slated for print really quickly, whilst other author’s books were left and left. (Actually, now that I think back, certain authors used to have a book out every two minutes, whilst others had to wait, and wait, and wait.)

I like Liquid Silver, but if what Pepper says is true, then what a crappy way to conduct business. They’re basically saying, if the author behaves well, then they get priority over the problem authors. Hmmm… not impressed by that at all. I kinda understand it, but it just seems….. wrong, somehow.

I wonder how many e-pubs make their printing decisions this way?

I just read this on Erecsite:

“Dear WCP Authors…
Hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas, and we wish you a great New
Year’s too. We’ve been working very hard at WCP, and we are making
some changes which we believe will help all of us find a bigger
audience for all our great WCP titles.

First, beginning with all new contracts signed on January 1, 2008
forward, the set-up fee charged by Pawprints to WCP authors for the
print option will be paid by Whiskey Creek Press (the book must be
35,000 words or more to be print eligible). WCP will put the book into
print and pay the set-up fee to Pawprints when one of two things happens:

1) The author pre-orders and pays for 30 copies or more, at the author
discount price (this is optional).
2) The book sells 50 copies or more in ebook format.”

OK, I get that WCP’s authors no longer have to pay for their own printing, but why do they have to buy 30 copies of their own books first?

I’m guessing that selling fifty e-books wont be a problem to most authors at WCP (or is it?) therefore, they wont have to worry about item number one. Maybe.

Anyhoo, it’s good to see an e-book publisher who listens and responds in a positive fashion, because let’s face it, that shit’s rarer than a lucid Britney Spears.

You can read the full statement over at Em’s Erecsite blog.

Hey, does this mean that they bowed down to pressure from The People? *g*

For those who don’t know already know, Eharlequin are giving away a free e-book everyday until January 1st. I’ve already downloaded the Blaze book from yesterday, and the Silhouette Special Edition book from today.

I started the Blaze already, because it’s written by Debbi Rawlins, who I’ve always liked, and I have to say, so far so good.

The male protag is very unusual, in that he doesn’t jump off the pages like most heroes do, and the heroine initially isn’t into him, (most unusual for a romance), so kinda blanks him for a while.

Anyway, going back to my reading.

I just read that the Pakistani opposition leader, Benazir Bhutto, has been assassinated. I knew it would only be a matter of time, but I was still shocked by the news.

When she returned, having been exiled for a good number of years, I thought she was extremely brave, if a little foolish.

Apparently she was shot in the head, then a suicide bomber blew himself up, taking a few other people with him.

Fucking animals.

…like Mel Gibson’s film career after that incident… especially after reading this comment from a fan on the Beyond Reach thread at Dear Author (Yes it’s still going strong):

Could she be anymore condescending, and uncaring about her fans? That was just such a big f*ck-you, it’s not even funny.

Out of the 168 (and counting) comments, that are there, only a handful, of those (if that) have commended her on her willingness to think outside the box, and take a risk for the good of the book. If we follow the rules of random sampling, that surely means the majority of her readers think that she fucked up royally. Hopefully, that translates into crappy books sales on her next GC book. Mean much? Probably.

Well, I’m sure she’ll be pleased that she got what she wanted; lots of people talking about her book months after she wrote it. After all, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

Here at Karen Scott Central, we hope you all have a lovely Christmas, and a happy New Year!

Oh btw, don’t forget to recycle like crazy this Christmas!!

Today was the second day of a marathon shopping spree. I hate Christmas shopping. You spend shitloads of money on other people’s kids, and get crappy presents back from their parents. Oh I miss my early twenties when none of my friends had children, and I only had to worry about buying them one present each. Just call me Ebenezer Scrooge. *g*

Anyway, I’m digressing, as usual…

Today was a particularly cold day in my town, and I do so hate the cold, so I bobbed into a Greggs to get a cheese and onion pastie, and a bottle of water. I left the shop, and proceeded to walk pass a homeless guy begging for money on the pavement (sidewalk to you Americans). As I usually do when I see homeless people, I totally ignored him and carried on walking.

In my head I was bitching about how crappy the English weather is, when something made me stop walking.

I suddenlly realised how totally ungrateful I was, because, yes, I was cold, but I had a nice warm home to go to. A lot of people weren’t so lucky.

Anyway, I walked back to the homeless man and offered him my cheese and onion pastie, which he gratefully took from me.

It was such a small thing, but it seemed to mean an awful lot to him, and at that moment, I had a kind of epiphany (for want of a better word).

I have a really good life. I have a wonderful family who I love, and who love me, and I know that if I was ever in trouble, they’d always be there for me. I’m one of the lucky ones, so I should really take the time to appreciate that.

I don’t really do New Year resolutions, because I think they’re mostly pointless, but this year, my resolution will be to really appreciate what I have, and to open my eyes a bit more, and actually see those people who are less fortunate than myself, rather than being overly preoccupied with my own quite selfish thoughts.

And maybe once in a while, I can do something that takes very little effort from me, but means the world to them.

Merry Christmas everybody, and I hope that you and your families all have a prosperous New Year.

I’ll be back when the Christmas hoopla stops kicking my arse.

Conflict? What Effing Conflict?

Thursday, December 20, 2007
Posted in: Whatever happened to plot?

I’m currently reading a book where the hero tells that the heroine that he loves her by page 40, and there are still 150 pages to go. Where’s the fun in that?

Erm.. incidentally, the couple seem to be having mammoth sex sessions every two pages, so I guess I’m supposed to forget about the plot, and just get my rocks off.


BF1: Soooo…how often do you go down on TTG then?
K: Silence
BF2: Well?
K: Looks around to see who they’re talking to.
K: You talking to me?
BF1: Yep.
K: Why?
BF1: Just wondered…
K: You can keep wondering, I’m not telling.
BF2: Well, do you swallow when you go down?
K: Are you on drugs?
BF1: Oh come on, tell us whether you swallow or not.
K: Nope.
BF2: Why not?
K: Because it smells like bleach, and I’m not too fond of bleach.
BF1: Bleach?
K: Yep
BF1: No it doesn’t.
K: How do you know? When was the last time you went down on my husband?
BF1 Well, —-‘s doesn’t smell of bleach.
K: Babe, too much information already.
BF2: Neither does —-‘s.
K: Sticks fingers in ears
BF1: Silence
BF2: Silence
BF1: So… does that mean you’re a spitter then?
K: Stupified silence
K: Waiter, can we have another bottle of wine please!!?

This weekend, TTG and I attended a party, where an allegation of rape was made by one of the women at the party.

Now TTG and I were familiar with the woman, and I have to say, I’ve never thought much of her, (mostly because she had a habit of sleeping with anything that moved) but when I heard that she’d been raped (allegedly) by one of her colleagues, I immediately felt devastated for her, and wanted to know who the rat bastard was.

For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to me that she could be lying.

Anyway, the colleague in question was arrested in the early hours of this morning, and taken away in a police van.

The woman has since dropped the charges, claiming that the sex had actually been consensual, and that he’d just been a little rough with her in bed, and that she was too drunk to know what she was doing.

We’ve since found out who the alleged rapist was, and it was the same guy that she’d been following around all evening. He’d come up to myself and TTG earlier to tell us he was going home early, but the woman had waylaid him, and invited him up to her room, so being a man, he of course took her up on her offer.

He was still asleep in her room, when the police came to drag him away.

I have no idea what went on in that room. I have no idea whether or not he actually raped her, but if he didn’t, as she later claimed, then I’m pretty disgusted at her for accusing him in the first place, because no matter what, the taint of being accused of rape will stay with him, and remain on police record, for the rest of his life. And she would have done that to him.

What makes me crazier, is the thought that the next time there is a genuine rape case, that the victim might not be believed because of stupid bitches like this woman, who cried wolf.

I Heard This Earlier…

Friday, December 14, 2007
Posted in: Queen, These Are The Days of Our Lives

And it just moved me for some reason. I wasn’t even a Queen fan particularly, but this song is actually quite lovely, and quite sad I think.

I’m feeling slightly hung over from the Christmas party last night, therefore, you wont be getting any scintillating posts from me for the rest of the weekend.

Unless of course Teresa Jacobs sets up another e-book publishing company. *g*

Hey Look, Blogger Got Smart…

Friday, December 14, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized

I think my rather caustic e-mail to Blogger HQ must have worked, seeing as they’ve decided to allow other non-blogger users to sign in. *g*

commenting is now available for all Blogger blogs. This means that your friends and readers can leave authenticated comments on your blog using their blog URLs from OpenID-enabled services such as WordPress.com, LiveJournal, and AOL Journals, or with their AOL/AIM accounts.

We’ve chosen a few popular OpenID providers to highlight on the comments form, but OpenID is, well, “open”! You can use any OpenID service to post a comment by choosing “Any OpenID” and filling in your OpenID URL.

Does this mean that you don’t have to have a Googlemail account to subscribe to comments I wonder?

Anyhoo, the wisest decision they’ve made for a while, as a lot of Blogger users were about to revolt.

I read One Of The Guys by Shiloh Walker last night, and I have to say, I totally loved it. (Thanks Shi) Great story (friends to lovers does it for me every time), fabulous hero, great heroine, and an ex-who gets his just deserts at the end. If I could be arsed, I’d have written a glowing review about One Of The Guys, but as Dee Tenorio and Bam can attest to, I’m lazy as a mother f*cker when it comes to reviewing. *g*

Here’s the blurb:

Sounds yummy, yes? Anyway, go and buy, it’s a short sweet read, and I promise you wont be sorry! (And if you are, go complain to somebody else about it. *g*)

Mrs Giggles At Her Best…

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Posted in: Mrs Giggles Rocks On A Grand Scale

Seriously people, go check out her Special Blog Guest: Mrs Kristi Theresa, CEO of Trixy Lion Publishing post.

I especially love the beginning bit:

“Dear friendsa nd familie of Trixy Lion Publishing,

I am pleasing to let everyone knowed that Trixue Lion Publishinng is still the undisputedly #1 publishers in womanizing erotic fiction. I am hoping (and worrying!) that Mrs Theresa Wayne’s new besuiness La Media will be welcoming by us to this challenging world of epublishing business becos as a woman I am always happy to see another woman enterpriser step up to the task of showing the worl dwhat women can do and improving the futuristic of quality fictions.

However, I am dismayed at how poor Mrs Theresa’s new business is forced to be shut down wjhen it has barely opening its doorways to surely authoprs who will flog to its doorwayts with their premiering qiuality work! As usually, this is the workings of the jealouseuy minds of those horrible unchristian women like Karen Scotland and Ash Achoonox (the last name alone is surely indicating of a satanic mind!), tools of the evil Samhane Publishing people who are like Microssoft trying to get a sinistering gripping on the world of epublishers! I ask you, my freinds, what kind of world are we lives in when everyone is full of bursting hot devil jellousy?”

I nearly fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

Remember how earlier this year, Teresa Jacobs, CEO of the now defunct Mardi Gras Publishing, lost her damn mind? No? Well she’s the madam who wrote that she’d closed down MGP, “due to a lack of finances, hormonal females, and bitching”.

Well, apparently she’s started up a new publishing company called LA Media. I was wondering who the hell would be foolish enough to trust her with their books, but upon closer inspection, I noticed that one of the authors was a lady called Jaden Sinclair (the other author was Teresa, herself under the guise of Teresa Wayne, and some bird called Savannah Black). Now for some reason, that name seems very familiar to me, can anybody shed a light on who she is? Didn’t she engage in a full-on rant trying to defend Jacobs and MGP?

Anyway, I found her Teresa Wayne blog, and I must admit, I was tickled pink when I read the blog post entitled Vengeance is Karma. She writes:

Apparently LA Media also provide proof-reading, and various other editorial services. Nuff said. *g*

In other news remember The Dishing Diva, AKA author, Rene Lyons? Well apparently she’s also decided to start a a new publishing company too. It must be something in the air.

I must say though, I was most gratified to see the following stipulations on the site:

Now if she’d banned daddy/daughter play, I would have been in seventh heaven, but alas, I’ll have to make do with her banning rape play and incest. *g*

It seems scarily easy to start your own e-pub these days. If I was an aspiring author, there’s no way I’d give them my work until they’d been published for at least three years.

I’m wondering how long they’ll both stay in business?

And before anybody mentions it, yes, I did indeed notice who the first commenter on the Dishing Diva post was. Ahhh, the good old days of rampant sucking up eh? *g*