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Somebody’s O Had To Go…

Monday, February 4, 2008
Posted in: condolences, Superbowl 42

TTG and I stayed up and watched the game last night. I stayed up because I wanted to watch the half-time show, and watch men in tight pants run after a funny-shaped ball. TTG stayed up because he loves the game to pieces.

I wanted The Patriots to win, if only to beat Miami’s record. TTG wanted The Giants to win, to preserve Miami’s record.

When the blokey in the Giant’s uniform got a touchdown with just 35 seconds left on the clock, Shannon, I really felt for you.

I blame Gisele Bundchen.

By the way, how scary is that damn clown? *shudder*

Harlequin finally got around to officially launching its Paranormal Romance Blog. (There were some posts in October and December.) Other than inflicting those obnoxious Nocturne covers on you, someone named “Laura…the Digital Production Coordinator at Harlequin” inflicts some obnoxiously shallow and poorly written opinions on anyone dropping by. (Clue #1: Anyone not providing a full name or at least a witty nom de Web is hardly to be trusted as a blogger.)

Oooooh, handbags! The above post was by the editor of Juno Books, Paula Guran.

I read the Harlequin Paranormal post that seemed to be the cause of Guran’s angst, but it was just a simple commentary on why she (Laura) felt that vampires were sexy. Nothing really to get one’s knickers into a twist about.

Anyway, Guran continues:

What do I find so terrible about “Laura’s” posts and why won’t I comment if I take such umbrage? Because I don’t have time to tear apart each sentence. Let me give one example of an opening paragraph: “Vampires are sexy. The question is—why?”

Are vampires sexy? Not all vampires are sexy. To ignore this fact is to ignore the basis of any discussion of erotically potent vampires. Even if one needs to be simplistic, one should acknowledge. For example: “Most vampires we read about these days are sexy even though the traditional folkloric vampire was not a pleasant creature. Some writers (and readers) prefer the “monster” version of the myth. But for those of us who love paranormal romance, the vampire is sensual rather than truly sinister. Why do we think of the vampire as sexy?”

At this point I can’t get over the fact that she’s getting all deep and heavy about the sexiness, or lack thereof of vampires. Do you think she knows that vampires aren’t actually, um ya know… real?

I won’t even go on the the next paragraph, let alone essays on “works which have helped shape the [paranormal] genre over the years” or “what defines paranormal vs. sci-fi vs. fantasy”. (Yes, “sci-fi”.)

I just don’t have time.

Perhaps she coordinates digital production well, but couldn’t Harlequin find someone else to write these things?

I kept re-reading Laura’s post to see what Guran could have possibly found offensive about it, but I can’t for the life in me, find anything vaguely rant-worthy.

I can only conclude that Guran is perhaps a paranoid schizophrenic who thinks everybody is out to get her, and that she is the expert on all things vampiric?

I’m kidding of course.

Bram Stoker was the expert on all things vampiric.