One of the most painfully ignorant comments that I’ve come across in a while comes from a girl called Shannon, over at the SB’s site, where Sarah has a racism in romance post up.
Shannon writes:
OK, I might just be pulling this all out of my ass, and sorry if I offend anyone, but I’m just throwing down some of the random thoughts I’ve been having as I read comments.
Does anyone think that the reason only 20% of black women get married is a cultural thing? Because from what I’ve seen of “hop hop” culture (admittedly not a whole lot), it seems that promiscuity in men is glorified a great deal, and women who are willing to wear skimpy clothing and shake their ass, etc etc are the ideal. So those two things together there, if its a widespread cultural thing (and it seems to be in my school, which is possible Whitest School Ever yet still manages to bring that over), then could that be part of the issue? All those bad standards and behaviors that arent conductive toward happy monogamous relationships keep getting reinforced as positive?
Oh dear. What are these schools teaching their students?
Marriage is a cultural phenomenon?
Promiscuity in black men is glorified?
Black women who shake their asses and can dance are the ideal, yet the aforementioned behaviours are considered negative as far as marriage is concerned?
Hip-hop is to blame for the lack of monagomous, happy marriages amongst black people?
Sigh. There was more:
Also, I found the comment about romances with black characters reinforcing negative black female stereotypes interesting. Historically, IIRC, it was always black male sexuality that was feared (with good reason, there be some damn good looking black men) by white men. So could this be a case now of white women fearing black female sexuality? There is always this idea in people I’ve talked to and media I’ve seen that black women are just more sensual and sexual (not in a bad way), better dancers, better lovers, and yeah, more wild in bed…but is that necessarily a bad thing? To me it seems like black women got a reputation for things that arent necessarily bad, and maybe white women felt threatened by that.
To be fair, I think she feels as if she’s being politically correct, and saying the ‘right’ things, but she exposes her ignorance with her words.
She continues:
And just wondering here, but why is there this idea that it is mostly black men who are gay, adulterous, felons, etc etc? Seems to me that it isnt race that makes you any of those things, its personal choice.
Not only has she suggested that being gay is a personal choice, but that it’s on par with being a criminal. I have to say, I really didn’t realise that it’s mostly black men who are gay. That shit’s news to me.
I have a feeling she’s very young, and just doesn’t know any better, but still…
Emmy
May 12
6:02 pm
Black mens are gay adulterous felons? Well dang. Back to the drawing board.
Shiloh Walker
May 12
6:07 pm
Even after coming back to read this post a second time, I can’t think of anything to say other than…
Good Grief.
Shayne
May 12
6:20 pm
You really have to wonder. Especially when common sense would tell her, “You’re pulling things out of your ass.”
Okay, for once I am at a loss for words. *sighs*
Shannon C.
May 12
6:58 pm
Obviously a different Shannon from the one who posted over there, but yeah, I read those comments last night, too. I honestly think she’s young and ignorant, but hopefully all the responses she got will do some good and educate her.
I, also, live in predominantly white neighborhood. I’m a pale, pale white girl, most of my friends are white, etc. And I do think that people in that particular situation really need to be smacked around with the fact that they are highly, highly privileged and don’t, in fact, have a clue about how the real world works outside of the all-white microcosm. I think that’s the one thing all these race in romance discussions have done for me, because, yeah, I would never normally think about black romance and black romance authors, but I *should be* thinking about that sort of thing.
shaunee
May 12
7:37 pm
I’ve been following the post off and on over at Smart Bitches and at first I was literally struck dumb by Shannon’s comments. I took the weekend to try to…I don’t know…not be so friggin’ pissed and depressed maybe. Anyway, after rereading what she posted, I think I agree with others who’ve responded to her posts in saying that she is very very young and very very isolated. I can only hope that Shannon reads–really reads–what Mac, Trumystique, Laura Vivanco and others had to say and learns from it.
shaunee
May 12
7:37 pm
Sorry, didn’t mean to make it look like I was quoted myself.
shaunee
May 12
7:40 pm
Shit I did it again!!
Jenns
May 12
9:58 pm
I’ve been lurking lately. I’m tired, things are hectic, etc. But I just can’t lurk with this one.
I want to comment, but words are failing me. The sheer ignorance that’s apparently out there continues to astound me. And not in a good way.
Gail S
May 12
11:10 pm
She sounds very, very young and very, very privileged, as others have said. As if her only knowledge of black people comes from television and other media.
I lived in small, rural Southern towns for a whole lot of years–almost 30, if I pause to count. Now, I live in a larger town–some people would still consider it a small town, since it’s still under 100,000, but it’s 6 times larger than the town where I lived for 20 years, and about 20 times larger than the one where I lived the past 8 years. In some ways, those towns were still pretty segregated–and in others, especially the fact that everybody went to the same school–they weren’t segregated at all. The poor kids and the rich kids all went to the same school, and that was more of a divide than between the races.
Because the houses built of cinderblock and plywood were just down the street from my nice brick house, I knew that the people living there weren’t really much different from me. They didn’t have a lot of money, but they were nice people anyway. Some of them were white. Some were black. Some were Latino/Hispanic. Some were both.
My new town, while larger and quite a bit older, is a lot like that, which is why I was startled when someone–from the other side of the causeway where the population is much larger and much more segregated by wealth–said that she prayed her car wouldn’t break down every time she drove down Broadway–the main drag from the bridge into town to downtown, (or the beach, depending on where you’re going).
This woman was petrified of driving down a street with a few ratty old buildings (Leon’s Barbecue, some of the best in town, is in one of them.) and auto-parts stores and concrete warehouses and people –who admittedly can sometimes look a little bizarre. (I got a little creeped out by the guy wearing a pair of running shorts, a tank top and a single Michael Jackson glittery glove in a Cold wind, running down the median on his tippy-toes–he was black. The biker with earrings lining the upper ridge of his ear like ticks in a dog’s ear was white…) Thing is, they’re just people.
I guess because I lived in those smaller towns, I learned that. I’ve had the exposure to know that just because someone doesn’t have much money, or doesn’t have much education, or has skin of a different color–that doesn’t mean they’re of a different order of humanity. They might be great people. They might be jerks. Or addicts. Or “gangstas.” So might the folks with the same color skin as you. Jackassedness is equal opportunity, just like Niceness. They’re still just people.
And I wonder how we can teach people who live in these insulated communities that. Maybe we can’t, but it sure seems like something we ought to know how to do. Talking about it is a beginning. Talking TO each other is another, tougher thing.
My comment’s getting way too long, so I’ll stop here.
veinglory
May 12
11:59 pm
Anyone can be well-travelled on the internet.
katieM
May 13
1:12 am
Wow. Just… wow. Youth is no excuse for that kind of ignorance. That is just sheer stupidity. Sometimes people just have to grow up before they can step outside their own perceptions and misconceptions. Maybe she will grow out of it.
I must admit, though, that my students think the life reflected in gangsta rap is real. I teach in a school with 68 percent Black, 20 percent Latino, about 10 percent White and the rest Asian or biracial. They live in a middle class neighborhood in homes that their parents – two parents btw – own. They don’t see themselves and their lives, they see what’s on tv and think its real. Even their parents are stumped by their children’s weird perception reality.
Emma Petersen
May 13
8:07 am
Roflmao. I shouldn’t laugh but what else is there to do in the face of such lunacy?
Dawn
May 13
8:38 am
This girl is obviously very young and VERY stupid. I’m trying to think of something to say, but I’m just stumped. Even my 12-year-old knows that what you see in the videos is not real life!
loonigrrl
May 13
9:10 am
I seriously read that first paragraph two times because I couldn’t figure out what “hop hop culture” was.
Shannon Stacey
May 13
1:04 pm
Like Shannon C., I just feel a need to say “not this Shannon”.
Ebony
May 13
6:14 pm
I saw the post and left the following comment on the original post over there:
The only difference between mainstream romance novels and Black Romance novels is the “color” of the characters skin. Believe it or not there are many successful Black people who own their own businesses, own homes, come from two parent households, go to college, etc.
Newsflash!!! Single black women want the same thing as single white women. We want the husband, the house, the white picket fence and 2.5 kids…so whoever told you otherwise is lying.
As far as good men, a good man is hard to find no matter what color of his skin, so please stop the stereotyping.
Bailey
May 13
7:11 pm
I really do feel for the authors of Black Romance. At the same time I’m dying to find a good romance, erotic or otherwise, where the Italian-American hero isn’t stereotypically portrayed as a mobster, former mobster or have family ties to the mob. There are plenty of men of Italian descent who are decent, hard-working guys, and the popular stereotype truly pisses this reader off.
Angela
May 14
5:04 am
I sympathize with you wholeheartedly. I’m just annoyed in general over the acceptance of stereotypes of any non-WASP in the romance genre. I’m even more annoyed that it’s rarely pointed out when I’m sure many readers, writers and even folks in the industry aren’t WASPs. It really brings home the subconscious “fact” that the perfect fantasy means you’re a non-ethnic white, middle-class (somewhat) Christian American with no “culture”–therefore you’ve got to exoticize someone else’s (cultural appropriation!).
Shreela
May 18
10:56 am
I wonder if Shannon is watching certain talk shows instead of interacting with people.
@Gail S – I wonder if I live north of you, on the south side of the bigger city (if I’m guessing correctly where you live). I remember seeing some zany characters in the place I’m thinking of, and not during celebration times either 8^) And if I’m guessing close, I am thinking of a few places across the causeway with people like that woman.
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Joey Pinkney
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I know I’m chiming in a little late on this one, but… There seems to be a great divide.
And I’m not talking about between black people and computers. No, there seems to be a divide between the intelligence of your average reader (of any genre) and the intelligence of some of the people who are bold enough to put their actual thoughts in comments on the internet to be permanently seen.
(I’m one to talk, by blog is full of my thoughts…Smart to me, ignorant to others.)
What gets me is that it’s soooo natural to be ignorant about another group of people when we all live in the same country, in the same neighborhoods for that matter. Yet, these stereotypes and bad pseudo-statistics persist.
Sheesh!