“and like any good dominant, I tried the wax on my body before trying it on Jon’s.” – Laurell K Hamilton Discusses Her Sex Life…
Monday, May 19, 2008Posted in: Laurell K Hamilton, LKH wants a threesome
A cyber pal pointed me in the direction of QB’s blog, where she’s got some interesting excerpts from Laurell k Hamilton’s blog.
There are a few tidbits to choose from, but I was most interested in the ones that talk about her and Jon’s hankering for a third person to join them.
LKH Blog- Sunday April 27, 2008
IronyMore irony; two of my male friends that are straight and one of female friends that is gay all have absolutely no gag reflex. Now how unfair is that? The rest of us that could use this talent must struggle on, and learn to work around our deficiencies.
…
Now, if I could just figure out a polite way to ask my three friends with no gag reflex what little misery they’ve got instead, I’d really know if the universe was fair. But some questions are not meant to be asked even between close friends. Not unless liquor is involved, and alas, I do not drink.
I’m trying to get rid of the image of LKH and Jon, humping some random unknown. Talk about life imitating art huh?
LKH Blog – Monday, May 5, 2008
Domestically ChallengedBut it is one of those days when I think longingly of having one extra more practical person in the house, but let’s face it, even if Jon and I could find a third adult that we wanted to cohabitate with, we’d never be attracted to someone organized and practical. When we were both dating, our choices ran high to artist, techies, writers, and scientiests. None of these jobs, or degrees are likely to net you an organized mate.
Her and Jon also do interesting things with candlesticks, but you’ll have to pop over to QB’s blog to learn more.
I have to say, I was more amused than surprised at the personal nature of LKH’s blog posts. She obviously doesn’t care about people knowing what she does in private.
Dorothy Mantooth
May 19
4:20 pm
Welll…
The hot oil stuff is a bit much. And I have to be honest, the idea of LKH and her weirdo husband together “in that way” squick me out almost as much as the overwrought, unecessary, badly written icky sex scenes in her books.
But thinking sometimes that it might be nice to have a third spouse…I’ve done that. I don’t know any married women who haven’t done that at one time or another. Another woman to deal with your husband’s moods (yes, sometimes even those moods), to watch the kids sometimes so you can nap, to hang out with when you’re bored and lonely. Or another man to be supportive when your husband isn’t, to wash the car or mow the lawn or whatever when your husband is tired, (yes, that too sometimes).
So while I think she crossed the crazy bridge a while back, and I don’t think it’s something her fans necessarily want to know, and I hate that I’m actually defending her, I don’t think there’s anything odd about sometimes thinking it would be nice to have another adult in the house.
Angela James
May 19
4:31 pm
Actually, the candles made for the purpose of massages are really nice, even in a non-sexual way, because the “oil” is warmed and it relaxes the muscles of your back, and massages nicely. Not particularly kinky at all (well, not in my house anyway, lol). But oddly, I almost felt like sharing that was almost TMI, so I guess we all have some very definite boundaries as far as what’s fair game on our blogs.
My husband would DIE if I shared details like that on my blog, and I’d probably join him, and we know I don’t have anywhere near the visitors she does and am not close to a household name. Boundaries are interesting things, aren’t they? How much they differ from person to person. Maybe she feels like, if people don’t want to read it, they should stop reading, as we so often say to people about our blogs? I don’t know. I’ve got mixed feelings.
jmc
May 19
5:13 pm
Does the woman have no TMI meter?
When we were both dating, our choices ran high to artist, techies, writers, and scientiests. None of these jobs, or degrees are likely to net you an organized mate.
What? I kind of disagree with this sweeping generalization. Maybe the techies, writers and scientists *they* dated were slobs who could organize themselves out of a paperbag, but that has not been my experience.
katiebabs
May 19
5:20 pm
TMI indeed. Why would I want to know if so and so wants a third person in their bedroom and know details? That is why I read fiction.
BevQB
May 19
6:02 pm
Actually, Angela, that IS basically what she says, and pretty much my usual feelings about it too. But I think when even an uber LKH fangirl like me (albeit one who has maintained a sense of humor) feels the need to speak negatively about her blog content, I would hope that she would realize that she might need to consider whether using her blog as a sort of personal diary is wise.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m fascinated by her blog when she discusses her writing process, teases us with upcoming story points, etc. Even mentioning events in her life (in general terms) is fine every now and then. But the changes in her blog entries of late, and not just the intimate details, but the smugness, has been escalating rapidly and it seems… well… not right, as if there was some change in her/ to her. I hope that makes sense.
Angela James
May 19
6:52 pm
I wanted to come back to this, because I am so conflicted about it. On one hand, my personal feelings are that it’s way too much information for an author to share, and I find myself always hoping that my authors and editors will put their best professional foot forward on their blogs. I struggle with this often on my own blog, and have discussed on there before, keeping a seperate personal blog for friends.
On the other hand, I feel like if she wants to tell the world about her sex life, that’s between her and her husband because she’s not representing a company, she’s just representing herself.
Then I wonder, how does her publisher feel? And then I think, does it matter? As long as she’s still got a solid fanbase (which her sales seem to indicate she does) do they care?
And I also wonder if it’s her responsibility to monitor herself for TMI on her own personal blog, because it’s her blog, she’s not making anyone read it and if people don’t like it, they shouldn’t read it. Plus, everyone has different levels of TMI, so what seems innocuous to me might seem horribly revealing to someone else. So where does the self-censoring end. And at what point does it make it not really “her” blog, but the reader’s blog, because they’ve demanded she change her content. And I’ll bet there are readers out there who love the amount of info she reveals, so who does she listen to?
Gah. It’s an interesting topic, but one I don’t think is so easy.
Puppet Truth
May 19
7:31 pm
WOW. That woman packed her bags and went crazy a long while ago. Why would you post ANY of that on a public blog? I mean Shes already went the TMI route when she told everyone that She considered herself Anita, and that her ex was Richard and her most recent husband was Micah, but have you SEEN Jon? Guy gives most straight women the heebie jeebies. And wasn’t he like the president of her freaking fan club? I seem to remember reading THAT too on her blog a while back. That is like ultimate stalker.
Someone stop her, please!
GrowlyCub
May 19
7:54 pm
I disagree with people wanting her to shut up. It’s a free internet, nobody forces anybody to go to her site and if she uses her blog to share her private life and sexual practices it’s her and her husband’s decision to make.
Just think if somebody came to your blog and insisted you had to share your personal sexual practices and to shut up about your books or your hobbies because they were bored or made uncomfortable by your posts about that. Would you feel they are in the right to tell you what to write on your own blog?
I should mention, I’ve never read her and all I’ve seen online about her with regard to her fans seems to indicate a person with some social issues, but I still feel no fan or non-fan has the right to tell her what to say on her own blog.
I think Angela has a point about her publisher having an interest and I’m not entirely sure where I stand on that part of the equation.
BevQB
May 19
8:14 pm
Puppet Truth, SHE didn’t say
That is ongoing speculation by readers that is far more interesting that the facts, so it has been accepted as the truth.
GAK! I do NOT usually wander around yapping to defend LKH– yes I’m a fangirl, but she’s a big girl and can defend herself. But in this case, I would like to share the following:
Since the release of the first of the more sexually oriented ABVH books, Narcussus in Chains, most of the speculation has been that Laurell discovered good sex with her then new husband, Jon, and felt a need to “share” it with her readers through a new character called Micah and a new emphasis on sex. However, Anita had been shooting the heads and or hearts out of people for several books. Did LKH write that because she suddenly had a need to share her real life bloodthirstiness with her readers? So where has she been disposing of all these bodies?
Here’s the scoop directly from Darla, LKH’s PA, and interviews that Laurell has done:
At an early LKH book signing, only 3 people showed up- Darla and her husband and a then older teen Jon. They all became friends and Laurell’s most faithful fans. Cut to down the road more than a few years and Laurell is going through a divorce from her first husband, Gary. She’s a single parent with a very young daughter, trying to make a living and support them through her writing. She has started writing Narcissus in Chains.
Anita and her hunny-bunny, Richard, aren’t really together anymore, but Laurell, who’s going through some rough personal times, can’t bear for Anita to not have someone too. Thus Micah came into the picture. Most people start speculating that Micah was/is Jon. Nope, before NiC was finished, Laurell had started to date again. Most men her own age either dismissed her writing career or were intimidated by it. By the time she finished NiC, she had begun to wonder if there could be something more than just friendship between her and Jon.
Now with edits and publishing lag time, by the time NiC was released, her and Jon WERE together. But a whole lot of people put two and two together and came up with 5.
Bernita
May 19
8:44 pm
I think sharing intimate personal details in a public venue is tasteless, vulgar and unwise.
Nevertheless, I agree with Growly: her blog, her business, and her repercussions – if any.
Shayne
May 19
8:53 pm
I’m not sure why anybody would care what LKH puts on her blog. If her fans want to read it, they will. If not, go elsewhere. How hard it is?
I stopped reading about her and her books long time ago because of lack of interest. How hard it is for others to do?
As far as publishers having anything to do with my private life. Oh, hell no. They get my books, my writing ability. My private life is mine and not part of the contract. And if I blog about wild monkey sex with my spouse and three of my neighbors and my accountant, that would be my business. If I’m doing the pool cleaner and say it on my blog, still not my publishers business. End of that story.
My personal behavior doesn’t reflect on my publisher any more than the publishing company owner’s behavior reflects on me. Or their editors or other authors.
T.J. Killian
May 19
9:05 pm
I have to agree with Shayne. I don’t need an education. If that is what LKH wants to put out there, then – thanks for nothing because I’m not interested.
Too much information – for me, yes. Well hell, it’s her blog, if she wants to tell her whole sex life it is none of my business. Just because she puts it out there doesn’t mean I don’t have an option of reading it.
sallahdog
May 19
9:25 pm
The big problem I have with LKH is that she often gets pissy with people for drawing conclusions from her blogs and starts yapping how she isn’t going to TMI route and then WHAMMO, she goes totally tmi on us all over again…
The thing with her hubby jon, I remember when a lot of this went down. I remember when a friend of mine (while she was still married and still dedicating her books to her now ex, went to a sci fi con(I believe they were promoted OB, but I would have to ask) and saw Jon and Laurell necking in the hallways…. Now at the time, and even today, I say to friends who point to that, that who knows where LKH and her hubby were in their marriage. Who knows, he could have been dating others too… Truly, I don’t even care that she dedicated NIC to Jon, hey, people fall in and out of love all the time.
but lets face it, we are never going to get the full true story from someone who’s paycheck depends on LKH… and probably rightfully so… Its not really our business and there is a child involved…
I just wish that LKH would stop with the TMI, or quit getting pissy when an ex fan calls her on some of it..(for the record, I don’t read the Anitas anymore, but I do peruse the Merrys, I don’t pay because ID cost me money I am never going to get back)
For the record, I think LKH can write whatever she wants on her blog, but once she sticks it out there, it is there for people (some who have an axe to grind) to run with..
katieM
May 19
10:47 pm
I stopped reading her a long time ago. For my tastes, she jumped into crazyville a long time ago.
Nifty
May 19
10:49 pm
I think this might be it in a nutshell for me as well. Sure, she has every right to write whatever she wants in her blogs or her books. But once she puts it out there in the public domain, it’s fair game. If you read the blogs and you read the books, it’s easy to see the parallels. Maybe those parallels are completely off-base…but I don’t think so. LKH herself just makes way too many loaded statements, such as how Anita doesn’t do anything that LKH herself hasn’t tried. LKH DOES share too much information — spelled out or coyly alluded to — in her blog. It’s totally mock-worthy, and yet for some strange reason she doesn’t get that.
Shayne
May 19
11:13 pm
I still honestly wonder why anybody cares what LKH and her hubby do. That floors me more than anything.
eggs
May 20
12:55 am
LKH is a sexual exhibitionist, pure and simple. One way or another, she’s going to find a way to get an audience for her sex life. The solution she’s hit on (revealing a leeeetle too much on her blog and creating a close association between herself and Anita) is win-win.
By posting all these details on her blog and writing her fantasies as Anita’s exploits, she gets the buzz of an audience – and the people in her home town are relieved of the fear of actually coming across her and Jon getting down to business on bus stop benches or in random parking lots. This way, only the people who WANT to read about her sexploits are exposed and the rest of us continue our lives in peace.
Dorothy Mantooth
May 20
1:50 am
Good point, I totally agree.
sallahdog
May 20
2:12 am
I don’t know if care is really the right word. But conversely, if LKH didn’t want people to “care”, she probably wouldn’t bother to post about their sex life either…
The thing is, its human nature to gossip, comment on others lives, and to wonder how other people live. If you put out information that makes that easier for people to do, you just can’t be surprised or dismayed when people pick up the ball and run…
I think eggs probably has a point about LKH being something of an exhibitionist, at least in this regard.
Lady Niko
May 20
7:18 am
LKH jumped on the crazy train a long time ago and the most depressing part of it is that her two closest people seem to be sheltering her from the reality of it and in fact, feeding into it.
Jon & Darla go off on anyone that *dares* to not write absolute praise of LKH and LKH herself seems to not understand the fact that if she puts stuff out there in a public forum without any age warnings and then, doesn’t understand that most people don’t want to read everything about her sex life. (She talks about one of her entourage like he’s one of her bed partners is something I wonder if he’s aware of this? He’s a police officer for one of the STL municipalities & that’s not something you would want your superiors to see, because it could be considered as a “career limiting move,” I would think. Not to mention he’s married w/ 2 kids!)
I don’t know what her problem is, but like others have said, I feel sorry for her daughter. Since the blog entries about her make it seem like she *doesn’t* want her around and that it’s *such* a burden to be a parent, when Jon seems to spend more time w/ her than LKH herself does.
Diane
May 20
4:34 pm
LKH’s blog appears on Amazon for GP-TH and I think the Merry books. That means anyone who wanders onto Amazon to order Guilty Pleasures is told about Laurell’s sex life. So I honestly think that LKH should either a) not blog about her sex life or b) take her blog off of Amazon and put a ’18 and older’ warning on her web page. Then she can blog about having sex with cats and dogs for all I care.
red sea
May 20
5:24 pm
But Laurell has a housekeeper, and a stay-at-home husband to do all those things. You can’t get a spouse more supportive or devoted than the one she met when he was the teen president of her fan club. She was complaining because he had a doctor’s appt., and coudn’t prepare dinner for one freaking night!
As for the TMI blogging, if she didn’t have a child it would just be tacky, but no one should have to deal with their parents contemporaneous public sex-diary. She lives with the child, and constantly makes her sound like a burden, publicly bashes the father in one book dedication after another, and leaves her ripe for public humiliation by her peers.
I’m starting to wonder if the constant blogs which are dismissive of her daughter on the one hand, and full of explicitly sexual TMI on the other, are a passive-aggressive attempt to goad her ex into pushing for full custody.
K. Z. Snow
May 20
9:44 pm
Well, y’know, we’re basically back to the new old adage, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”
Not my cuppa — I couldn’t care less what LKH and Cabana Boy do; in fact, couldn’t care less about LKH and her books, for which I have a distinct loathing — but, hey, let her pull out all those cyber stops and garner more attention. As long as she’s not doing it on my blog, I don’t care one way or the other.
Tracy
May 21
7:09 am
Question:
I’ve never read LKH, so I’m not “up” on her story. But, she met her husband when he was a teenager and the president of her fan club???? ewww. What is their age difference?
squicky.
Anaquana
May 21
3:52 pm
Tracy, if I’m not mistaken, there is about a decade between them.
She is in her mid 40’s and he is in his 30’s.
red sea
May 21
4:00 pm
He was the 19 year old president of her fanclub when they met and she was 31.
For those who are familiar with the series, he has the same long red hair, and slavishly submissive personality as his avatar Nathaniel.
In the series, Anita considers it a sign of mental instability when the avatar of her first husband (Richard)cut his hair. When her first husband got a haircut after college, she admits in her blog that she spent the following 16 years (nagging) begging the poor man to grow it back, and praised her fan-boi for growing his out “as soon as I requested it, because he knew it was important to me.”