Dilemma Friday: Would You Stay Or Would You Go?
Friday, January 2, 2009Posted in: Moral dilemma Friday
Happy New Year amigos!
Ok, here’s this week’s scenario:
You and a girlfriend are walking along, and all of a sudden, you hear scuffling and you look down an alleyway, and see a young teenager being held down by a guy, who looks to be in his early twenties. The girl is in some distress, and you see that the guy has his pants down, and seems to be trying to rape her.
You reach for your cell phones to alert the authorities, only to remember that you’ve both left your phones at home, and you have no idea where the nearest payphone is. It’s pretty deserted, and there’s nobody around for you to ask for help.
What do you do? Do you risk danger to yourselves, and go and help the girl out, or do you run for help, desperately hoping to see somebody. Bearing in mind that this guy could potentially kill her before you return.
What would you do?
vanessa jaye
January 2
12:35 pm
Start screaming at the top of our lungs, and throwing stuff at him. If possible one of us would start banging on closeby doors for help or flag down any passing traffic, but not straying too far away from the other.
Dorothy Mantooth
January 2
1:53 pm
Scream and run to help, while continuing to scream. If the girl is struggling and in distress chances are the rapist isn’t holding a gun on her or anything, and chances are the rapist will simply run away when he sees people coming. Either way I wouldn’t feel I had a choice, really.
Sheryl Nantus
January 2
2:25 pm
I go, stomp boy into snail snot.
I worked private security for 15 years and used to be a Guardian Angel…
đ
Cowards like that tend to run when confronted, anyway.
đ
(but that’s just me…)
Maddie
January 2
2:55 pm
Scream out that I’ve called the police and I think if that didn’t work I would have to tackle him.
Sorry this may sound dramatic but if I did nothing it would eat at my soul until the day I die.
Plus I think I would rather die in the act of saving some one then to sit by and do nothing.
I remember seeing the Kitty Genovese(sp?) movie where she was attacked and killed people heard her cries for help and did nothing, she would be alive today if some one came to her aide, I believe her attacker left and came back to finished her off.
O/T but related some what.
Just a couple of months ago a man travel from California to New Jersey to killed his wife one man tried to stop him and was killed but out of courageous action he saved several others because he was an organ donor and one man who was on the brink of death received his kidneys
Tuscan Capo
January 2
2:56 pm
Crime prevention authorities regularly recommend that when seeing a crime in progress individuals should seek out to the nearest telephone immediately and report to the police via 9-1-1. Give the operator the complete address to the place the suspected crime is in progress. Most officials advise the public not to directly interfere if the use of a weapon is evidently being used in the crime.
In such a scenario as you’ve described, however, my gut reaction would be to send my lady to call police and then approach the suspect and at least try to kick his sorry ass. He might be bigger, meaner and a lot better at kicking ass than me but at least it’d give the victim time to run to safety. Of course, this choice isn’t recommended by crime prevention officials lol.
Tuscan Capo
January 2
3:10 pm
I should add, that when speaking with 9-1-1 and you don’t know the address where the suspected crime is in progress then give the operator as many and as specific locale details as possible: names of nearby hotels, laundrymats, shops, stores, schools, ect. In other words, if the police know what businesses are across the street from the alleyway – or in other scenarios what businesses are located in the immediate vicinity- they can generally find the locale of the crime in progress.
West
January 2
3:13 pm
I would absolutely have to help. As a rape survivor myself, I could never just stand by and let something like that happen to someone else. As Tuscan pointed out, it’s not what crime prevention officials recommend, but you know what? They can come back and talk to me when they’re the ones who have lived through it, and then we’d see what they said.
Shiloh Walker
January 2
3:16 pm
Scream very loudly and then run and help. As Sheryl said, cowards tend to run when confronted by somebody that doesn’t show fear.
If it was me and the DH, I’d probably get to a phone while he went after the bastard.
vein
January 2
3:19 pm
Been there, done that–except I was on my own. I went to help only to be abused by the girl for attacking her boyfirend. And she had been screaming like a siren. Both were horrendously drunk. Still, I would do it again. I figure once more people get involved the odds are an attacker will give up.
Anne Douglas
January 2
3:44 pm
Yell, scream, wade in with my handbag or a handy hunk of 2×4… In other words most of the above from others comments above.
Now of course, this leads in a nice circular nature back into one of the previous questions isn’t it. Would you do the same if you saw a guy having the snot being out of him, then realised after you’d defended him he was the convicted paedophile?
Las
January 2
3:59 pm
I’d start screaming before even thinking of reaching for my phone. He’d probably runaway once confronted.
Now if it were more than one man or he was obviously armed and I was alone, I’d have to be more cautious, but I’m not sure my instincts would get that memo before I started screaming. I’d just hate to take the time to look for a phone, since the rape will have happened by the time the police get there.
Coco
January 2
4:08 pm
Regardless of the guy’s size, if it was me and a friend I would say we run in screaming like banshees and throw anything we could at the a-hole. Unless he’s some kind of ultimate cage fighter, he’d probably think twice about the odds of two crazy women against him.
Hopefully that would allow the victim to get up and run toward us and we could all escape.
Really, I’m sure this is NOT what the police recommend, but I could not leave the scene as a woman was being raped and be able to live with myself.
BevQB
January 2
4:14 pm
My answer is based on the fact that there are TWO of us. If I was alone, I would FIRST get the hell out of any area so deserted that there are no businesses open. Actually, even with a friend, we would be stupid to be there to begin with- with or without our cell phones.
Standing together with my friend, I would shout down the alley “Miss? Is everything okay, do you need any help?” If SHE (I’d ignore his protests) tells me to bugger off and mind my own business, then we’d do just that.
Any answer from her that isn’t as passionate, and I’d next shout “Listen, we’re calling 911 anyway!” and I would turn sideways and hold my hand up near my opposite ear (where they couldn’t see) and begin speaking to a 911 operator on my imaginary phone. Hell, I’d even put my finger in my other ear to make it look authentic.
Hopefully, by this point, the little slimebag has realized that he won’t be getting any privacy while he does the deed and will have slithered away. If not, I think my friend and I would LOUDLY discuss his identifying characteristics- “I dunno, Cindy, would you say he’s 5’11 or 5’10?” Maybe even pretend to sketch him if we have paper and pencil on hand.
However, once he DOES slither off, I would then tell the girl to come out and wait with us for the police. No way would we walk down that alley and out of site from the street.
TracyS
January 2
4:14 pm
Make a lot of noise and run for help. Usually the noise will scare them off. They don’t want to be caught.
Jenn
January 2
7:47 pm
I agree with the noise, trust me I can scream when I have to. I would have to go down there to do something as well. I couldn;t just let someone be attacked that way and walk away. My luck I end up sued for attacking him. but there is no way I could just walk by and do nothing.
Plus there’s be three of us against him, My guess is with all the noise and getting beat on by a bunch of women he’s get the heck out of there.
dew
January 2
7:59 pm
I never go to unknown places without a charged phone. But in the spirit of the dilemma, I’ll pretend there’s no reception 8^)
I’d yell that 911 has been told that he’s raping a young teen, and that I’ve taken a pic of his attack with my phone. Hopefully he’d run off. If he comes at me and my friend, then I’d spray him with my 10% pepper spray/mace combo, then beat on his tender spots with my pointy metal baton (both are on my keychain, which I’d be holding if I was walking in an unknown area).
Sam
January 2
8:08 pm
I don’t have any real clue. I don’t know if I’d freeze or run in without thinking at all. More than likely the run in without thinking. I saw a fight at a ball stadium once and was wading up to stop two rather big idiots when my DH and friends said ‘what the hell are you thinking?’ and pulled me back. The fight lasted all of 30 seconds and then was just over…no one truly hurt.
I’m like many others and just don’t think I could live with it if I left and the person was raped, killed or both.
Sam
Julia Sullivan
January 2
11:20 pm
I’m a strong person who’s good in a fight, so I would probably wade in.
But if I weren’t, it would certainly be helpful to shout “I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND I HAVE CALLED THE POLICE. THEY’LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE OR SO” and keep shouting until either a) the attacker stops, or b) more passers-by are alerted.
And you know what? If it turned out that I was mistaken about the situation and it was drunken consensual horseplay, and the people abused me verbally, I’d be fine with that, too. Because the risk/benefit ratio of that is very clear to me.
Because I’ve been raped and I’ve been yelled at, and I’d gladly risk getting yelled at on the chance it would keep someone else from being raped.
Emma Petersen
January 3
12:13 am
We’ve been in similar situations and thankfully most of my friends are of the same mindset. One even carries a bat underneath the seat of her car. We’d do what we had to do. We’re women but we’ve learn to take care of ourselves and we’d never walk away from a situation like that.
Keishon
January 3
12:58 am
I was going to be flippant and say no good deed goes unpunished. I mean did you hear about the woman who helped her friend out of a car that she thought was gonna explode and is now being sued for helping her? Allegedly, the woman felt that she was being dragged out of the car like a rag doll and felt that her friend was the cause of her paralysis. Hard to say on that one, only that the good Samaritan law will be challenged with that case.
Of course, to answer your question, 911 is the way to go about this from the saftey of my car. It’s easy to not be involved and again, no good deed goes unpunished. Glad the guys here would go kick his ass, some women too but all one can do is try to help where one is able.
Kristen
January 3
3:20 am
Is this before or after my concealed carry permit has been issued?
Karen Scott
January 3
9:24 am
It’s interesting to note that most of you guys would try to help, because it seems that more and more of us prefer to mind our own business, when confronted with this type of scenario.
The other week, a young teen was gang-raped, and apparently there had been people who’d witnessed the attack happening and did nothing. I can’t quite get my head round that.
Dorothy Mantooth
January 3
1:07 pm
Kristen, you wouldn’t be legally able to shoot the rapist–you can only shoot if someone’s life is actually in danger. I had a buddy with a concealed carry permit and asked him about this exact scenario once; he told me it always comes up in the classes you have to take for the permit, and unfortunately, if the rapist isn’t actually trying to kill anyone you’d be busted if you shot him.
But yeah, I’d shoot the walls, I’d wave the gun around, whatever it took. đ
Kristen
January 3
1:15 pm
I would say I thought he had a weapon. It is a dark alley, right? (And actually my permit class is on the 7th, so thanks, I’ll keep that tidbit in mind.)
Throwmearope
January 3
3:47 pm
Emma, in Colorado carrying a bat under your car seat can be construed (the cops here are a*m*a*z*i*n*g) as carrying a concealed weapon. You can carry a concealed gun if you have a permit, but you can’t have a lead pipe or baseball bat under your front seat.
So I carry an 8-lb flashlight that is about 10 inches long under my car seat. The last conversation I had about it with a cop ended with him apologizing to me. (If you knew Denver cops, you would be as astonished as I was.)
But a flashlight, even a big mean one, is a tool, not a weapon.
Addressing the question, if you scream batsh*t crazy, loud obscenities, act like you’re crazier than the rapist, it works out okay quite often.
I think a bunch of guys doing a gangbang would cause more of a pause. In that case, I’d call the cops and hope they were bored enough to respond.
Fae Sutherland
January 3
4:45 pm
I’d have to help. I’d probably freeze up for a second, I’m the type in panicky situations it takes my brain a few long seconds to process what’s happening and then the reaction comes.
In this case I’d send my friend to find a phone and I’d start shouting to the girl, telling th eguy the police have been called, basically being as loud and obnoxious and distracting as I could without going into the alley and getting myself in harm’s way. I’m not a fighter, I don’t think I’d do any good physically, so I’d stay out of the alley if at all possible.
But if my plan didn’t work and the guy kept going for it, I’d grab the nearest weapon-like thing (alley’s are good for those) and do what I could to stop him. Even if it meant I got hurt too, I couldn’t stand there and just watch without doing something.
Christine McKay
January 3
4:45 pm
This brings up an interesting topic – what people do when confronted with the option to be a hero or back off. I just finished “The Unthinkable: What to Do When Disaster Strikes” by Amanda Ripley.
It describes certain personality types and why people do what they do in scenarios – everything from a hostage situation to the 9/11 to the stranger risking his own life to rescue a person. Highly recommend it.
P.S. I’d wade in to help. Car keys applied to the eyes, perfume or hair spray sprayed in eyes, a swift kick to the side of the attacker’s knee/the groin. Take off your lovely spike heeled shoe and apply to attacker’s face. Female, male, small built, etc, you are not defenseless.
BevQB
January 3
5:49 pm
I wouldn’t have either- not directly. Becoming another victim of the gang wouldn’t have helped her. Even if I was with a friend and we both had cell phones, I would get the hell away before I even took a chance on stopping and calling police. More than one attacker means too much danger, even if we were both armed. Hell, even if my friend was a big guy, I wouldn’t let him chance taking on a pack of rabid animals.
Karen Scott
January 3
6:49 pm
When I say they did nothing, I mean that literally. They didn’t even call 999. They just opted to mind their own business.
Anon76
January 3
8:43 pm
Phone or no phone, I’d def pretend like I was calling the cops and be really loud. Plus be verbally abusive, lots of swearing and screaming, and, believe it or not, laughing.
Crazies are a bit afraid of other crazies. Learned that growing up on the streets of a big city. Plus, the perp has to calculate how to take out three people rather than just the one.
And also, shouting something like “fire” or what not draws more do-gooders than “help”. Sadly, people are more willing to come out to protect their personal property rather than another life. Sigh
Fae Sutherland
January 3
10:31 pm
In that situation…yeah no, I wouldn’t do anything but run and try to find a phone to call the police once I felt I was a safe enough distance away and was sure they hadn’t seen us. If there’s a gang of them, two more girls would just mean more rape victims and my and my friend’s safety comes first.
I would definitely call the police once we were safe, though. And I’d likely be wracked with guilt for the rest of my life, but in the end it’d have done the victim no good to give the gang of guys another two victims. đ
Emma Petersen
January 5
12:43 am
Thankfully our police aren’t all that bad. I’m sure she’s been stopped by the police and the subject hasn’t come up. I think as long as she isn’t brandishing it they’d be okay with it.
I think as women sometimes we have to bend the law to protect ourselves.
You know something sad? This applies to someone breaking into your home too. Or at least it does in California. đ Le sigh.
Lynne
January 6
12:00 am
I agree — making noise and throwing shit would be the way I’d go. Some big trash cans or lids would be great for that.
Dee
January 6
3:37 pm
I’d scream at the top of my lungs and jump up and down like a lunatic until he stopped or left the scene. No way would I let that happen to anyone if I could help it.
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