Moral Dilemma Friday: Would You Go To The Police?
Friday, January 16, 2009Posted in: Moral dilemma Friday
This week’s dilemma is as follows:
You and your husband waited years before your first child came along. You went through everything in order to try to conceive.
Finally, the day comes when you realise that you’re pregnant, and you end up giving birth to a healthy baby girl.
Your baby girl is the apple of your eye, and you’d do just about anything for her.
When she’s eighteen, she gets involved with a guy who is not good for her. He doesn’t beat her or anything, but he’s a bit of a bum, and he deals drugs. She moves out, and you don’t see her for a while.
One day you see on the news that her boyfriend has been found murdered, with his head decapitated. Your daughter explains to you that on the night in question, she was at home on her own watching TV and she’s afraid that the cops wont believe her, so she asks you to provide an alibi for her, if she needs it, which you readily do because you know that whatever’s happened to her boyfriend, she had nothing to do with it.
She’s taken in for questioning, and tells the cops that she was with you on the night that her boyfriend was murdered. The cops release her, and they continue with the investigation.
One day, you’re collecting washing from her room, when you find evidence that your daughter was the person who killed her boyfriend.
What do you do? Do you go the cops and tell them that your daughter is the murderer, or do you protect your daughter, because after all, her boyfriend was scum, and it was only a matter of time before somebody killed him?
What would you do?
Sparky
January 16
10:50 am
Well 1) I wouldn’t provide a false alibi anyway because there’s such a huge chance that it’ll get found out
2) Family first. Not in all instances, but in most
loonigrrl
January 16
11:04 am
Despite the evidence, I wouldn’t assume she killed him. I mean, he was frickin’ decapitated.
I’m not sure what I would do in that situation, but I cannot see myself agreeing to lie to the police.
Karen Scott
January 16
11:40 am
Loonigirrl, the girl definitely killed her boyfriend.
loonigrrl
January 16
11:48 am
Dammit. Ok. But she’s pretty strong is all I’m saying.
Karen Scott
January 16
12:44 pm
I’m pretty sure you don’t have to be physically strong to kill someone. *g*
KristieJ
January 16
1:24 pm
I don’t think I would have given the alibi in the first place. But if I had of – which I wouldn’t have – it would totally break my heart, but I’d go to the police, then mortgage everything I have to get her a good lawyer.
Emmy
January 16
1:31 pm
No girls, only my son, but nope. I’ve never been anything remotely resembling an enabler. I wouldn’t give the alibi, or hide it if I thought he had made a mistake. I *would* automatically assume it would have been a mistake, because to think my child would deliberately kill someone in cold blood…
Fae Sutherland
January 16
2:03 pm
I wouldn’t give the alibi. I’m a terrible liar when I’m genuinely afraid (I can tell meaningless fibs with the best of em) and if I tried to lie to the police they’d find me out in half a second.
On the off chance that I did give the alibi and then found irrefutable proof that she had committed the crime later on. I’d go to her and tell her I know and if she doesn’t go to the police I will.
And then I’d hire the best lawyer I could to prove that asshole had done *something* to drive her to it in self-defense. That’d be the only explanation I’d be able to accept, I think, self-defense.
KristieJ
January 16
2:25 pm
Good call Fae! I would go to her first and try and convince her to turn herself in.
Emmy
January 16
3:38 pm
I don’t know that I’d confront the kid privately and tell them what I know while bringing along the only evidence of the crime. You just might become the next unsolved mystery.
Anon76
January 16
3:47 pm
Wow, how timely.
No, I wouldn’t lie for him/her. No alibi on this end. When I did find said proof, I would def give him/her the chance to fess up, and hire a good lawyer. (Of course, this is again without providing the alibi in the first place.
Why I say it is so timely, is that a guy we were friends with long ago had a somewhat similar situation happen to him recently. Similar in that a body was found, different in the fact that his child contacted him asking where he could hide the chopped up body.
Now dad had never ever been in trouble with the cops, but following that old “family first, bull, he told the kid where he might hide the pieces and get away with it.
End of story, dad’s in jail and ended up turning state’s evidence against the kid so he wouldn’t be in for the rest of his life. Seems he FINALLY figured out that certain things are WRONG, no matter if it’s family or not.
After such a shocking event, we gave fair warning to our kids. Don’t drag us into something so horrendous unless it is only for emotional and legal support, and then ONLY if you had what “may” be considered just cause. Such as self defense.
But it really is hard to take the next step and justify decapitation or dismemberment. EGADS!
Karen Scott
January 16
4:05 pm
Emmy, that’s a good point, it’s not like kids have never killed their own parents before.
I heard one story where a son killed his mum and dad because they wouldn’t let him go away somewhere. I’m sure it was in the news.
Angela
January 16
4:48 pm
Hmm. It’s a tough question for me honestly. I’d love to agree with everyone here and say no way. I would never provide the alibi. I would definitely take the evidence to the police.
But I don’t know. Having been in a similar situation (without the murdered boyfriend) as the daughter in the story, it makes it a little different for me. Plus family is very important to me.
So I argue with myself over it. I haven’t yet decided where I’ve landed on the subject.
I argue a lot about the ethical, moral values that I’d be walking all over if I didn’t turn her in, and the emotional feelings that I’d be ignoring if I did. That’s what makes it tough for me.
Dee Tenorio
January 16
4:54 pm
I’m with the others. I wouldn’t give the alibi. I’d want to know what the hell was going on that she’d need to lie. The truth should be enough. After that, I’d be suspicious–heartbroken, but suspicious. If I found the evidence, I’d get her father and at least one police detective (yeah, if she can DECAPITATE someone, I’m treating her with some security) and get her a good lawyer. Running just makes it worse.
Marianne McA
January 16
4:56 pm
You don’t make these easy.
Why am I doing her washing anyway? Child’s eighteen!
I literally can’t make that imaginative leap. I guess that if I found one of my children had killed someone, given that they don’t seem to have sociopathic tendancies, I’d assume that they had developed some sort of mental illness, or had been under the influence of mind-altering substances at the time. Either way, they would need help – so not only would going to the authorities be the moral thing to do, it would seem to be the loving thing to do as well.
But, as Fae says, thenceforth I’d fight their corner, and try and make sure that they had access to the best medical help.
But that’s a guess – I can’t imagine it.
Lolita Lopez
January 16
6:01 pm
As much as it would kill me to do so, I would not provide my daughter with an alibi nor would I destroy the evidence against her. When we were kids, our parents made it perfectly clear to us that they would not bail us out of jail or trouble, no matter how small the charge or the infraction. They stuck by their guns every time my younger brothers, sister, and I pulled a stunt (pranks gone bad on my part, DUI/MIP/spotlight hunting for my brothers.) As an overly dramatic teen, I thought they were heartless, but as an adult, I totally get it now. Sometimes tough love is the only way.
Shiloh Walker
January 16
6:27 pm
God, that’s a hard one, Karen. Unfortunately, though, the fact that she’s looking for an alibi doesn’t exactly speak to me of somebody that was terrified for her life, which means more than likely it was a planned murder.
I’d want to know why she did it before I’d make a call.
melindaevette
January 16
7:34 pm
I’d need the full story first, before I decide to lie. If it wasn’t some Jeffery Dahmer I enjoyed it and I’m gonna do it again, type stuff. We’d just never speak of it again.
Jen
January 16
7:57 pm
If he was that much of a bum, I’d’ve probably offed him myself first…then made her help me hide the body. 😛
SarahT
January 16
9:10 pm
Honestly? Unless I thought my daughter was psycho and likely to kill again, I’d give her the alibi. I’d assume he’d threatened her and she’d done it in self-defense. I know it’s not the *right* thing to do but I think I’d probably put my child’s welfare first.
Bhetti B
January 16
10:14 pm
What is in the daughter’s best interests? Psychological treatment and punishment for her doing wrong, being cleared of something that hangs over both of you, making sure she never kills again…
I don’t have a daughter. But I do have a little sister. I’m a religious person, I’m an ethical person and I love her to bits.
I strongly believe that everyone MUST face the consequences of their actions, so that they can have a chance at healing.
I hate lying and it causes me too much stress. I have done it for family before. I just don’t know if I’d go that far, whether I’d do it out of love… or out of fear.
Seneca
January 17
12:52 am
Oh, man, how do you come up with these, Karen? LOL
This is one that I can’t answer. I simply do not know.
I’d have to actually have to be in the situation before I could answer it.
Good question. An impossible one for me to answer, but still a good question.
Sam
January 17
1:38 am
I also can’t imagine dealing with this. I have that problem with moral dilemma questions. I certainly *hope* that I would do the right thing. I hope I would not provide and alibi and also I hope I would turn in the evidence when I found it. I just don’t know though.
This is OT, but I have always *thought* (absolutely no proof, just a gut feeling) that Jon Benet Ramsey was done in by her brother and her parents didn’t want to lose BOTH kids, so protected him.
Sam
Diane/Anonym2857
January 17
5:08 am
Just a teensy point of order and another point to ponder:
If you did indeed give your daughter an alibi previously, when you now turn her in and get that good lawyer, be sure to get one for yourself as well. In fact, be sure that YOUR lawyer is better than HER lawyer. She’s going down for murder, but you will be going down for some combination of conspiracy, aiding and abetting and perjury. And you’ll both end up turning on the other in defense. Depending on the jury, it’s a crap shoot who will spend more time in jail.
Is it worth it?
Just sayin…
Diane
Seneca
January 17
3:24 pm
Sam, I always thought it was the mother who killed little Jon Benete.
That’s an interesting theory about the brother. There was an episode of CSI that was like that once.
Anon76
January 17
6:53 pm
EXACTLY, Diane/anon
”
She’s going down for murder, but you will be going down for some combination of conspiracy, aiding and abetting and perjury.”
Plus, in the proposed circumstances, the jury may not be so friendly. Why? Because of the “abuse of a corpse” thing. Like, “okay, you killed him, but did you HAVE to chop his head off?”
M E 2
January 17
10:17 pm
Count me in as one of the “I wouldn’t have provided an alibi in the first place” respondents.