I give you permission to file this post under ‘Far Too Much Information Luvvie!’
Sooo, enquiring minds want to know if this request by your lover during the throes of sex ever works?
It just seems to me that every hero in every book seems to use this line, and as if by magic, the heroine orgasms instantly.
I can tell you that it’s never worked for me. I orgasm when I’m good and ready, and not before.
Just sayin’.
iasa
March 4
2:40 pm
It works for me and on me occasionally. But its not the kind of command you can throw at someone from left field. It helps if you know your lover well and if you’ve gotten close to orgasm but been halted several times before.
MB (Leah)
March 4
3:09 pm
What Iasa said. If I’m not even close, then no. Although it can get me closer real quick.
But if I’m fairly close or I’ve been teetering on the edge for a while, then yes, commanding works.
AztecLady
March 4
3:24 pm
TMI? weeeeeeeeeelllllll
Yeah, a bit.
But o Karen, how you make me laugh!
Heh.
Tuscan Capo
March 4
3:46 pm
Well, as long as she’s not had to say, “Quick trip, eh?” I’m happy.
Shelby
March 4
4:19 pm
*rolling with laughter* Karen, what would I do without you to inadvertently remind me of the faux pas I have committed in past works? Writing this one down on the list of What Not to Use Anymore.
J.C. Wilder
March 4
4:27 pm
Pavlov’s dog…need I say more?
kirstensaell
March 4
4:33 pm
Yup, every time someone says “Come for me,” my stomach growls and I start drooling uncontrollably. Horribly embarrassing…
vein
March 4
4:37 pm
I always assumed it was that the person was reading the lover so well they knew he/she was about to come. Thus it is descriptive (e.g. “you like that, don’t you”) or an illusion of control as part of roleplay rather than literal coming on command.
Randi
March 4
5:03 pm
I’ve had a number of guys say that to me. I either laugh or ignore it, because it takes me FOREVER to come, and certainly not on demand. In fact, I find it mildly irritating.
kirstensaell
March 4
5:14 pm
Oh, I know! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve succumbed to my frustration and just swatted him away. Kind of, “Oh, here, let me do it! Sheesh.”
As for “on demand”, I cringe anytime the guy seems determined to make it happen. “Ooh, baby, you will get off, if it takes me all night and my tongue ends up in traction.” That’s a lot of pressure, and pretty much a guarantee it ain’t gonna happen.
I don’t know. All I really want is a guy who’s consumed with need for me–that’s the biggest turn on–even if it means he’s not focussed on my pleasure. Orgasms are the primary reason why I masturbate. They’re not my first consideration when it comes to sex. Although they are nice…
MichelleR
March 4
5:17 pm
Yeah, in books it works, because you assume the guy knows she’s on the brink, and that — along with whatever else — pushes her over.
I’m sure an attentive and talented real life guy could make it work, too. 🙂
MB (Leah)
March 4
5:51 pm
See, I’ve never experienced it as a demand, but more of a need of them that I share the orgasmic experience with them or that they give me pleasure.
If I would say those words it would be out of a really deep need to give pleasure and that’s how I’ve experienced it coming from men I’ve been with when they’ve said such things. And I can’t help it but that’s such a turn on that it does make me pop sooner or easier.
When I read it in books, it depends on how the author has written it, but mostly I read it coming from my own experience, so I don’t find it annoying.
JulieLeto
March 4
6:00 pm
I will not reveal anything about me personally, but any time I’ve written it, the heroine has been on the edge and for whatever reason, holding back. I think it was in an upcoming book and she was holding back because he wasn’t anywhere close and she was trying to hold out for him and well, he wasn’t interested in making her wait. I mean, wasn’t like she couldn’t do it again later…which, of course, she did.
So no, it’s not an “on demand” kind of thing and I’ve NEVER read a book where it was like that.
Randi
March 4
6:20 pm
MB: hahahahahahaha. TOTALLY! I am soooooo there with you.
You know, I’ve found it really hard to get guys to understand that sex isn’t just about an orgasm. In fact, it often isn’t, as MB said above. It’s like whipped cream on ice cream, when ice cream is delicious anyway.
Eve Vaughn
March 4
6:31 pm
I think it depends on how close the woman already is to coming.
Randi
March 4
6:42 pm
Oh, I meant to respond to kirstensaell. sorry!!!
sallahdog
March 4
8:16 pm
works for me everytime… I also fetch, roll over and shake….
now if I could just get rid of the fleas…
Angelia Sparrow
March 4
8:30 pm
I tend to reserve Comes When Called for BDSM pieces. Some tops train subs to only orgasm at verbal command.
I don’t read enough het to know if this is a common trope. I have had lovers I had to encourage. They needed the extra dirty talk to get off.
Shiloh Walker
March 4
11:36 pm
Eh, I kinda like it. :OP
Louise van Hine
March 5
12:12 am
unless it’s in an orgasm-control situation in a bdsm novel i call it “lazy dom” writing. In answer to the question, if my lover ever said something like that to me in real life he’d get a foot in his face.
Lolita Lopez
March 5
12:21 am
Yes. One of the perks of having a partner totally in tune with your body…
rebyj
March 5
12:57 am
Ok Best laugh of the day. The comments just have me snorting like the delicate flower that I am.
I think that it works better when you tell your man to “come for me” but then why would you ever want to speed a man up?
I have been told that during sex back in the old days when I had sex and I said “Hit the right damn spot and I will!” …..He never said it again.
Lorraine
March 5
4:03 am
I’ve always been mildy annoyed when heroines come on command, it just didn’t seem realistic, *not that anything I read is realistic*. Clearly I’m wrong.
Amen to that sista!
Lori
March 5
4:10 am
The guy that can make me come on command is the one that I immediately dump my hubby for.
Just sayin.
Lori
March 5
4:10 am
NOT that I’m out there checking for him.
carolyn jean
March 5
8:59 pm
Hah!
I was wondering, too back last year, a I did a survey on this topic. (way down on my sidebar now). But 13% say it works on them.
NOT ME!!!
West
March 5
9:43 pm
I’ve had it said to me, and it never works. I don’t take order well 🙂
willaful
March 6
1:50 am
Doesn’t work for either of us.
Senenca
March 6
2:56 am
Yes, but only during BDSM play. Never with vanilla or the more romantic sex.
Karen Scott
March 6
2:51 pm
Seneca, how does the body differentiate vanilla sex from BDSM sex? Why wouldn’t the same command that worked for BDSM sex, work for vanilla sex on the same person? Or is this a mind control thing?