I guess you’ve all heard by now, that Darla, the ex assistant of author, Laurell K Hamilton, is attempting to pen her own book.
She has an excerpt up on her My Space page.
It’s…. interesting.
Let me give you a snapshot:
I was dreaming, and something was off. Something was poking me on the side in my dream and it didn’t really fit. Not that I ever remember what I dreamed right after I wake up. Just that I had been and it had been off. I am not my best right after I wake up. It takes me a while to get going. I do however have a good time sense even half asleep. I figured it was close to three AM by the feel. The poking continued. Wow, what a dream, the poking was following me in to wakefulness now too. That was definitely a first for me.
More pokes. Definitely not asleep now, so it had to be really happening. I could only hope it wasn’t a rat or some other vermin. Some of the nicest hotels will have issues if there has been a natural disaster nearby causing the wild life to seek refuge where they can. Such is life.
I cracked open my eyelids to look at the clock I knew would be there. Yup, I was right. It was 2:38 AM and black toes nails. Even to my befuddled mind that made no sense. I don’t keep black toe nails on my nightstand.
As I said, I am not my best right after I wake up and it took another minute for me to remember I was not home, snug in my own bed but at FictionConWest with Miriam. I was sleeping on the floor of the living room part of the suite. I needed to be handy in case Miriam needed me, which meant camping out on the floor. But that was okay with me. However, the time and the toenails were not.
I needed to roll a bit to see who it was. Both Miriam and Howard had their toe nails painted black. I should know I made them the appointment at the manicurist before we left Kansas. The edge of a black silk robe was no help either. They both had identical ones. No, nothing to do but keep letting my bleary gaze travel upward to see which of them was poking me.
It was Miriam, holding a pillow. Well, that was new. Was she planning on sleeping in here with me? Had she and Howard woke up and decided to fight? Though usually when they fought, it was Howard who wandered off to lick his wounds.
So, do we think that Miriam is LKH? *g*
For more, just click on this link.
Babz
July 29
9:14 pm
Uh. Yeah.
Maybe I’m a book snob, but there’s 6 paragraphs up there and I don’t know what is going on, so…
Darla, please don’t quit your day job.
Christina
July 29
9:23 pm
Uh, I hope she didn’t quit her well paying job hoping to break out big with that.
Shannon Stacey
July 29
9:53 pm
I think, no matter how bad the writing, if she can disguise a tell-all well enough as fiction so LKH’s lawyers can’t stop it, sonebody would pay her a buttload of money for it.
Throwmearope
July 30
12:36 am
Something’s poking at me, too, something that doesn’t fit… Oh yeah, grammar.
Janicu
July 30
1:13 am
Hmm. The next post has her saying Miriam is not LKH, but that she does have one true LKH story that she’s written up. It’s quite tame:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=92304655&blogId=497233252
maddie
July 30
1:15 am
#1. I’m afraid of clicking on the link.
#2. Wal-Mart is always hiring.
West
July 30
8:56 am
Umm, what’s the word I’m looking for here? Ouch. That’s it- ouch.
I’m writing my first book, and honestly, if it’s that bad, I would hope my friends would hold and intervention and make me stop.
Janean
July 30
10:28 am
I can see now why the grammar in the LKH books is so bad; Darla was often a proofreader for her.
I find it hard to believe her disclaimer that none of this is about her former boss. I used to read LKH’s blog, and I have to say that Miriam and Howard seem very similar to the way LKH and her husband come across in blog entries.
Darlene Marshall
July 30
12:33 pm
“Nanny Diaries meets the publishing world”? I imagine there’s a market for that kind of book. Especially when she’s been working for a bestselling author. It will be interesting to see if this gets published.
sallahdog
July 30
12:53 pm
well… Darla doesn’t work for LKH anymore, so she doesn’t have to worry about losing her day job… she already lost it..
But yeah, its really rough and doesn’t have a good voice (not a writer so forgive if I am not describing right).. Her stuff so far sounds like one of those “One summer, when I was at band camp, ” kind of thing…
I can’t write a story either, and maybe its just a first quick slap up with no editing, but boy it needs polishing
Randi
July 30
2:43 pm
MY EYES! MY EYES!
wah?
July 30
7:00 pm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Myra Willingham
July 30
9:51 pm
As an editor my first reaction was WTF? My second was: are you kidding me?
SinisterTwist
September 24
4:35 am
I posted this in another blog post, but I just thought I could post it here as well:
Darla Cook has finally published, albeit anonymously. She tried to delete her blog posts, never realizing that the internet never forgets. It’s called “The Diva Ate Her” and can be found on amazon.