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I see that Americans went for the safe and sanitized rocker, Lee Dewyze, for the win. No doubt all the text-happy tweens, pre-menopausal women, and Christian evangelists had a hand in crowning him the winner. Nothing new there then.

I guess I was hoping that voters would choose the winner based on actual talent, rather than on who they’d most like to sleep with.

Listen, I liked Lee, I did, but there was no way he was more talented than Crystal. Even he knew that.

Last year when safe, and sanitized tween-magnet, Kris Allen beat out Adam Lambert, I knew how the script was going to go. Kris would probably die in obscurity, because the people who voted for him probably wouldn’t buy his records, whilst the decidedly unsafe and unpredictable Adam would probably dance amongst the stars. I wasn’t wrong was I? Adam will be Lady Gaga to Kris’s Taylor Swift. One is an American darling who will fade once her fans grow breasts, and the other is an international star, whose stock will continue to rise for a long time to come.

It’s funny how many of the losers have gone on to do better than the actual winners.
Chris Daughtry was on one of the earlier Idol shows with his band, and he didn’t even make it to the semis did he? I’m still convinced that the only reason Kelly Clarkson won was because Americans thought she was the safe choice. Nine seasons gone, and Americans have only gotten it right two times it seems.

I give American Idol one more season without Simon. Simon Cowell is American Idol. It would be like going to see the Beatles without Paul McCartney, and who the fuck wants to do that? (Actually, I wouldn’t want to see them even with McCartney, but that’s beside the point).

Good luck Lee, but I think you know as well as we do that Crystal will outsell you massively. It’s an American Idol tradition these days. At least Crystal wont have to turn into an Idol-Bot, churning out shit music, album after album.

I should be grateful that at least the pretty boy with the girly hair didn’t make it to the final. Now that would have been ridiculous.