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"Not someone like that"

“Not someone like that”

Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Posted in: Azteclady Speaks, cranky AztecLady, rant

I’m a bit hesitant to post this because the exchange started in a different venue where I’d rather not create trouble for the moderators–especially since technically I’m still one of them.

So, if I may, let’s keep whatever discussion ensues over here, please. With that said…

This is what happened: remember how I posted that I’m in love with this video? Well, there’s a thread in the music area of that other forum devoted to all things Adele. Obviously I had to share the love, right? So far so good. Some people comment that they don’t get the video, blah blah and then this guy says that the video doesn’t make sense because (and I quote):

I dont get the video. the guys got a hot girl and leaves for college only to become bisexual and mess around in bed with another guy and I’m supposed to be moved ?

if your last lover was female.. finding a new man is nothing like finding “someone like you”


The guy went from a hottie to a man butt, that is NOTHING like “someone like you” if that YOU is female. PERIOD.

I dont hate gays, but the video doesn’t make sense.

it would have made wayyyyyyy more sense, if he had been gay at first, then found another butt to plug at college.


I just can’t stand it these days, throw a gay guy in there and you’ve got a “hit” simply because you’ve addressed the issue.

and, to top it all,

no way, see that would be an AWESOME video. I love all races and even gays, I just do not see the logic in the video. maybe its just me. I apologize. I can see how a guy would go from a white girl to a black girl, I’ve done it.

Seriously? I mean, really?

There are so many things wrong with those comments I hardly know where to start.

Become bisexual?

Find a butt to plug?

Throw a gay in to address the issue?


But hey, he loves all races and the gays, dontcha see. He’s even gone from a white girl to a black one, that’s just how open minded he is.

Gotta love the intrawebs–every asshole gets to spew his ignorance for everyone else to see.

My reply over there was very, very brief–otherwise I would probably gotten myself banned forever more:

If a person is nothing more than plumbing, then yeah, of course a man cannot be like a female.

If a person is a heart, a mind, compassion, understanding, generosity, and so much more…then your argument is insulting and homophobic.

Once I calmed down a bit I realized I phrased it poorly, and betrayed my own ignorance and biases, because the imbecile’s comments are not so much homophobic as they are bisexual-phobic–or rather, alternative sexuality/gender-phobic. There’s so much going on with the people we interact every day that we are not aware of, much more than what we are used to consider and think about.

Which brings me to this post by orannia, she of the Walkabout, and Embrace the Rainbow by Kris:

A challenge to help us increase awareness, acceptance and support for the trans*, intersex, intergender and questioning people in the m/m romance and broader community.

 I will.

*   *   *

First image from commonsenseatheism.com


  • MIreya
    December 1
    3:36 am

    That sounds like some of my experiences in CNN whenever I read any opinions on illegal immigration and the like. I have pretty much stopped reading comments for that very reason. Ignorance, narrowmindedness, and everything else you can think of. The thing with the internet is that a lot of people either don’t really care about what they say because no one can look at their faces as they spew their bile or don’t consider others on the internet as “real” people, believe it or not. Kudos to you for refraining from ripping a well deserved new one to that guy.


  • Ugh. That’s disgusting. (And the word “biphobia” is a real thing, and gets talked about in various gblt circles, because it’s a definite problem.)

    I had missed that video before, though, so thanks for bringing attention to it again. It’s a touching video. 🙂


  • It never ceases to amaze me, the complete and unmeasurable ness of some people that post their hate and ignorance on the Internet. One wonders how we could be considered the same species.


  • eggs
    December 6
    1:51 am

    I’m kind of ambivalent about calling it ‘hate speak’ when someone who seems to be a very young man expresses shock and disgust about gender and sexuality. Often, these things read to me: “This is gross and disgusting … isn’t it?” or “Nobody normal would accept it if a guy who could pull hot chicks suddenly started pulling guys too … would they?”

    I’m only going by what you’ve posted here. He may well have articulated a solid hate stance in the forum these postings came from. That I don’t know. What you’ve posted here are the ill-informed ramblings of someone who’s confused about what’s ‘acceptable’ and what’s ‘disgusting’ when it comes to human sexuality. The writer is clearly ignorant, but he won’t necessarily end up a ‘hater’ when he’s a proper adult. Especially if he gets some gentle redirection and education when he expresses these kinds of clumsy thoughts.

    It’s easy as an educated, mature person on the internet to think that other people are equally educated and mature and have given deep thought to their opinions before expressing them. It’s just not the case. How do I know this? I have a 10 year old son. He has college level language skills, is an active writer in a fan-fic community and reviews books on goodreads and videos on youtube.

    From the interactions he has online, it’s clear that the people who are talking to him think he’s an older teenager or college student. I’m sure the adults who spend hours talking and arguing with him online would DIE if they knew he was just a 10 year old kid. As a result of this, I just assume everyone who says something ignorant is really a 10 year old kid and respond accordingly.


  • He’s an adult–not just because he says so. I’ve been acquainted with him for over six years, and I know he’s in his mid- to late thirties, with children of his own.


  • eggs
    December 6
    3:08 am

    Well, in that case, carry on!! Kind of sad that he reads like a kid, no? Perhaps I should point my 10 year old at him for an argument? I wonder who would win? 🙂


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