“A Virgin and Her Country Music Mogul” AKA The Problem With Self-Publishing…
Thursday, March 15, 2012Posted in: HotMess.com, self publishing delusions, self-publishing
Now doesn’t this sound like a book worth mocking reading? I suspect it’s either self-pubbed or the ‘author’ has paid to get it published.
Check out this fantastic blurb – erm, or whatever it is, from Amazon.
Thanks for the great reaction to this book! (Karen: She’s totally deluded, check out the one star reviews hahaha!)
The story is steamy and quite unusual. I can see from one comment, however, that some people might think it’s too steamy. If steamy and sensual might offend you, then please be forewarned, this tale stimulates the senses. (Karen: Are you supposed to give your own review of the book within the blurb? Hahahaha!)
A handsome country music mogul tries to resist a gorgeous young virgin he has been invited to mentor. He can’t resist the virgin, of course!
She notices the country music mogul’s physical assets, including his big c**k. (Karen: Hahahahaha, lolololol!) She can’t stop thinking about him. Like all good stories, this one has some surprises that leave you wondering what will happen next.
In the end, the virgin understands the rationale for waiting before hopping in bed with men. But it’s too late. This is a great bedtime story. (Karen: Eh? Is she reccing this book to be read to children???)
Please be aware that this book is written in the language of the characters (Karen: I so badly want to know what in the language of the character means, heh). So, the book utilizes their particular dialect. This dialect is quite beautiful though it might offend strict grammarians. (Karen: Oh this books sounds too delish to pass up!)
This story is for, and about, adults 18+ (Karen: Oh ok, it’s not for children then!)
Enjoy!
Hahahaha! What a hot mess! Anybody want to take one for the team?
You can Kindle this from Amazon.com here. From what I can gather it was originally a freebie.
Happy reading!
Ginny
March 15
1:01 pm
Lawd! It’s too early for this. That’s the second spit take I’ve had this morning.
Jane G
March 15
1:26 pm
What’s the difference between self-publishing and paying to get something published?
Mireya
March 15
1:42 pm
Thanks but no thanks 😛
M.
Karen Scott
March 15
3:03 pm
What’s the difference between self-publishing and paying to get something published?
The rule of thumb when publishers are involved is that the money should flow from the publisher to the author, not the other way round. Vanity publishers get the majority of their money from fees that they charge writers rather than books sold. They basically get paid whether the book sells well or not, which is why they don’t care about the quality of the work.
People who self-publish control everything from printing, editing, cover design etc, and they earn money from books sold, without having to fork over a load of money to a third party. (they may pay for services like printers etc, but that’s within their control)
willaful
March 15
4:27 pm
Blurbs are so useful — if an author can’t write a simple blurb, I’m pretty confident when I pass.
JoanneF
March 15
6:41 pm
How did he know she was a virgin? Did she wear a “I’m a virgin” t-shirt or something? Did she tell people during introductions? “Pleased to meetcha! I’m Tammy, and I still have my hymen!” If she was so virginal, how could she judge him regarding his equipment size, and how would she have seen it? Was it his skin-tight leather pants straining to contain him? I remember seeing one up-close in the upright position for the first time back in olden times, and thinking it was gigantic. If my fuzzy memory is correct, I now believe it was pretty average.
Please, somebody, read this and report back all the dirty deets! I don’t have an ereader myself, or I might be tempted. I do loves me some good trash.
Lori
March 15
6:45 pm
Karen, you temptress. I’m so resisting but the idea is almost too hard….like the mogul, apparently.
Jane A
March 15
6:51 pm
Thanks for the explanation!
As for this book; Amazon lets you read a few of the first pages online in the web browser, no need for an e-reader.
That was more than enough to decide whether it is worthwhile or not!
Laura
March 15
7:11 pm
“I, Magnolia, was a young woman of eighteen, going on 19 soon, and sexually inexperienced.”
That, and the very first sentence telling us that her twin brother has an enormous cock bulging from his crotch(as opposed to?)……enough.
Karen Scott
March 15
7:22 pm
Lori wrote:
Karen, you temptress. I’m so resisting but the idea is almost too hard….like the mogul, apparently.
@Lori Do it! Do it! Do it!
Karen Scott
March 15
7:26 pm
“I, Magnolia, was a young woman of eighteen, going on 19 soon, and sexually inexperienced.”
That, and the very first sentence telling us that her twin brother has an enormous cock bulging from his crotch(as opposed to?)……enough.
@Laura Seriously, she notices the size of her brother’s cock???? Ewwwww!
JoanneF
March 15
8:49 pm
I have 5 brothers and, thankfully, I know nothing about their cocks, other than what little I saw of them when Mom bathed and/or dressed us simultaneously as preschoolers. That was more than enough info, thank you very much!
Ann Bruce
March 15
10:16 pm
Am I the only one who got a creepy American Idol or [insert any reality talent show] vibe from the blurb?
Jody W.
March 15
11:25 pm
Wouldn’t it make more money if the country music mogul was her step-dad?? Since PayPal has said that’s groovy and all… *heh*
Karen Scott
March 15
11:26 pm
@AnneBruce Nope, I thought of an American Idol type set up too!
Carolyn
March 16
1:23 am
Lori wrote:
Karen, you temptress. I’m so resisting but the idea is almost too hard….like the mogul, apparently.
@Lori Do it! Do it! Do it!
Don’t you dare, Lori!! (We share a Kindle account, lol.)
“I glanced over at my twin brother, Colt, 18. He was ruggedly handsome with dark brown hair, and an enormous cock bulging from his crotch.”
Um – no. Just … No.
How on earth did you come across this book, Karen?
Karen Scott
March 16
1:38 am
Oh Carolyn, you’re such a spoilsport!
I was on Amazon looking for free self-pubbed romance books. I’d just taken part in a discussion over at GoodReads about why self-publishing got such a bad rap, lol.
AztecLady
March 16
1:42 am
She’s 18, he’s her twin, yet she apparently needs to make sure we know he’s also 18 (along with the humongous size of his cock)
Dear lord.
LVLMLeah
March 16
1:50 am
Please be aware that this book is written in the language of the characters. So, the book utilizes their particular dialect. This dialect is quite beautiful though it might offend strict grammarians.
This is code for not edited.
Karen Scott
March 16
2:01 am
Please be aware that this book is written in the language of the characters. So, the book utilizes their particular dialect. This dialect is quite beautiful though it might offend strict grammarians.
This is code for not edited.
Lol, no doubt!
Linda Hilton
March 16
5:27 pm
And if you liked that one. . . .
http://www.amazon.com/THE-COWGIRL-TEXAS-DUDE-ebook/dp/B007J8AZQA/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1331918555&sr=1-4
THE COWGIRL AND HER TEXAS DUDE
Just how does a sexy cowgirl win the man of her dreams?
This Texas cowgirl thought she knew what to do, though it took a while to get there.
Did she exercise her passions at the right time? It’s debatable. In her case, something else took place. An interesting twist!
She wound up with the man of her dreams–a lesson for all of us!
This story is for, and about, adults 18+
Enjoy!
Carolyn
March 16
10:43 pm
I wish to thank you, Karen, for challenging Lori.
As we all know, Lori has never met a challenge she hasn’t taken and our pristine Kindle account *cough* is now sullied with badly written, straight out porn. Ain’t no erotica about this baby!!
Lori owes me $2.99. She says she is broke and I should apply to you? Y’all use pounds over there, don’t you? I dunno, I don’t need anymore poundage …
Karen Scott
March 16
11:24 pm
As we all know, Lori has never met a challenge she hasn’t taken and our pristine Kindle account *cough* is now sullied with badly written, straight out porn. Ain’t no erotica about this baby!!
@Carolyn Lololololol! Oh dear, I can’t say I’m overly surprised, Any writer who has her romance heroine noticing the size other brother’s doo-dah is probably not our kind of writer.
Lori paid $2.99 for the book? Wow, what a rip-off! By the way, how long was it? I imagine it wasn’t very long seeing as there doesn’t seem to be much of a plot to speak of.
Linda, The Cowgirl and her Texas Dude sounds a real treat. Was it written by the same person???
Linda Hilton
March 17
3:10 am
Nope, not the same author, not the same “publisher,” but there are obvious similarities. I won’t pay good money for them, but I got the one for free and the free sample of the other ought to be enough/more than enough. I’ll let you know.
Lori
March 17
4:42 am
Rip off doesn’t begin to sum it up. I truly thought it would be a hoot but its badly formatted, probably about 10,000 words (maybe) but so badly written and non erotic that I want to stick a fork in my eye.
So basically the author doesn’t know how to use contractions, has a heroine who spies on everyone in the household so she can admire their junk and watch them have sex (and describes it in such repulsive terms I don’t know why she’s horny) (slime trails of come)and Carolyn is going to make me suffer for this for years because it’s now on her Kindle too.
On a positive note, it sure does make me feel better about my own writing.
Anon 76
March 17
6:31 am
Okay, Karen, you are seriously on my last nerve tonight.
I told my rational self “don’t hit the link to the book.” Then, “okay, you hit the link but don’t read the sample pages.”
By my opening sentence you can figure out how that went…
I’m bashing my head on the keyboard with a mixture of laughter and groans. This type of book is exactly what gives self publishing a bad rep. “I gots me a puter and a keyboard, I can rite.”
Anon 76
March 17
6:38 am
And I am sooooooooo not hitting on the link Linda provided. Once bitten twice shy. At least for tonight. LOL
Linda Hilton
March 17
4:53 pm
Opening sentence of “Texas Dude” strongly suggests pretty much the same origin as “Mogul.” :
I, Harry, was a 25-year-old fearless Texas dude, a crop farmer in the Lone Star State. This wide-open Texas land was my oasis, the place where I felt most at peace.
Claborine, Claytor (2012-03-10). THE COWGIRL AND HER TEXAS DUDE! (Kindle Locations 9-14). Essex-Baton Publishers. Kindle Edition.
It’s a lot of fucking (can I say that here?) AND a lot of moralizing in a very short “hot” read with HEA. I will say that whyile the formating is slightly awkward and the story is,, uh, predictable and weak, the writing is actually better than some I’ve read.
I tried three times to download the free sample of “Mogul” but for some reason it won’t, er, arrive. From what I’ve seen, though, it’s the same type of stuff, a bizarre melding of Beavis and Butthead with June Cleaver. Seriously. And without humor.
There. I took one for the team. Now can I delete it from my Kindle? 😉
Linda Hilton
March 22
5:16 pm
He’s ba-a-a-a-a-ck!
http://www.amazon.com/CINDERELLA-DOES-COUNTRY-WESTERN-ebook/dp/B007MJCG6S%3FSubscriptionId%3D1GVBN9WWNVXC5DBPE502%26tag%3Dkiq-free-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB007MJCG6S