(I wrote this a while back, inspired by Jessica of Read React Review, and it seemed topical again. The author’s name I chose is just a silly pun and not intended to refer to any author in particular.)

Scene: Two women wearing “We heart Arini Saxy” t-shirts and holding bundles of bookmarks wait outside the public library.

Susan: “Grace, what’s the matter? Why are your bookmarks drooping?”
Grace: “Suz? I… I don’t know how to say this.”
Susan: “What? What on earth can be wrong? There’s a new book out! We have BOOKMARKS TO GIVE AWAY!”
Grace: “The thing is… I read the new book yesterday. And… it sucked.”
Susan: “Shut your mouth!”
Grace: “No, really! The characters had no chemistry! The ending came out of nowhere! The villain was a perverted homosexual slaveowner mastermind spy who was also the butler! They had midnight sex in the LIBRARY!”
Susan [grabs Grace’s arms]: “Listen to me. I heard nothing. This never happened. We. Are. A. Street. Team. We are family. You do not go against the family.”
Grace: “But…”
Susan: “No buts. We are SaxSlaves! We committed to this. You remember Melissa, don’t you?”
Grace: “Melissa… she moved to be with her girlfriend in Canada.”
Susan: “Sure she did. Sure she did. Right after she mentioned that the pregnant heroine refusing to marry the hero trope was just a teensy bit overdone. Do you want to…  move to Canada?”
Grace [rushing up to a woman on the street]: “You look like you love romance! Let me tell you about the most awesome book ever!”

finis