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Dilemma of The Week...

I haven’t done one of these for a while, but I was inspired after a mini Twitter Kerfuffle yesterday. Also, I know that not many people read this blog now, so it’s a good place to posit this particular dilemma.

Scenario – You’re an author, you do ok, but nothing amazing. You have some hardcore fans who buy everything you write, but it’s not massive. You also work a full time job to keep a roof over your head and to feed your two children. Your ex left you, and he doesn’t pay you any child support, and none of your family have the means to help out. You struggle along anyway, and the money from your full time job and your writing endeavours is just enough to keep you afloat. You pride yourself on being a decent human being, you’ve always done things by the book, and as far as you’re concerned, you will continue to always try to do the right thing.

You then get laid off from your job, and all of a sudden the only income you have coming in is the money from the books you sell, and it’s literally peanuts. Your youngest child becomes ill, and you don’t have health insurance. The bills are mounting up, you can’t find a job, your rent/mortgage is due, your benefits aren’t enough to pay your bills, your rent, or the medical bills that are currently piling up. What do you do?

I’ll give you two options. Just these two options.

The first option is reaching out to your online community and other strangers on the internet, laying yourself bare to them, explaining your situation and asking them for money. You do this and set up a Go-Fund Me for people to donate. This is the honest option. The option where you forget your pride, because nothing is more important than feeding your kids. Some would say that this is the more selfless option.

The second option is that as a Kindle Unlimited author, you get paid by the number of pages that are flicked through. You’ve worked out that by adding additional material at the end of your books, you can make more money. You can ask your readers to make sure they read your books until the end so that you’ll get the maximum amount of money. This option is sketchy, because you know that anything you make means that other authors will lose out, due to how the KU system works. Authors who may be in a similar situation to you.  Some would say that this the more selfish option, how dare you do this to your fellow authors? How dare you ‘steal’ from them by taking advantage of a system that’s supposed to benefit everybody equally? At the end of the day though, nobody is more important than your family, certainly not a bunch of authors who you may or may not know. Also, there’s no way you’d ever beg for money from strangers on the internet, fuck that noise.

What would you do?

Sidebar, I’m not really interested in what you’d do, that’s between you and your God, but I thought it was at least a different way of looking at things. And now I’m really done, because I have way more important things to be dealing with.

question mark

The setup for this dilemma should be entirely hypothetical but, sadly, it may become reality for millions of people soon.

In Uganda there is currently under consideration a bill for a law that would make being homosexual illegal (those interested can read the entire outrageous document here [and keep track of the typos while you are at it—it’s sad])

Two points of interest for the sake of this dilemma:

A)    A person who knows of someone else’s homosexuality is criminally liable (up to three years in prison, in fact) if he or she doesn’t report the crime/criminal within 24 hours of coming by the knowledge of that second person’s homosexuality.

B)     Promoting homosexuality is punishable by no less than five years in jail. While there is no precise definition of what “promoting homosexuality” is, the tone of the document leads me to believe that any positive statement or observation of homosexuality would be considered criminal under the law.

Today’s dilemma:

You are a resident of Uganda. The anti-homosexuality act in question has been passed and is now law. Your adult child comes to you and tells you that s/he is homosexual. Further, s/he tells you that s/he has been reading about homosexuality, gender identity, human rights, etc. online—exchanging information with other homosexual individuals inside and outside of Uganda—and then offers to share with you some of that literature, to help you understand that homosexuality is not unnatural nor a choice.

What do you do?

To clarify the question: would you report your adult child for the ‘crime’ of being homosexual and/or the crime of ‘promoting’ homosexuality through his/her reading and online activity?


You can read a bit more about how this bill came about here.


This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You’re an author and you’re a member of a writing organisation that aims to provide advice and support to its members re all issues publishing-related.

You learn from your organisation that they have delisted a major publisher due to said publisher being in contravention of one of their rules. They’ve opened up a vanity press/self-publishing arm. You aren’t published with this particular company, but had hoped to one day be published by them.

The writing organisation is up in arms, the authors are thoroughly disgusted, and you feel that it’s a really bad idea, and you’re very vocal about your annoyance.

You submitted a manuscript to the company in question a while ago, and they finally come back to you offering you a three-book contract with a healthy advance

What would you do? Would you take the contract, even though you don’t agree with their new venture, or do you stick to your principles, figuring that you’re better off waiting for other offers to come through?

What would you do??

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You go on a blind date with a guy who seems perfect for you. You go on a few dates with him and grow to like him very much.

One evening, you’re watching the news together, and tonight’s entertainment section features a well known gay celebrity getting married to his long term partner. Your new boyfriend expresses disgust at the fact that the ceremony is taking place at all, and makes some blatantly homophobic comments.

You happen to have a brother who’s gay, and your new boyfriend’s stance offends you no end

What do you? Do you confront his bigotry head on, even though your relationship at this point is pretty new and tenuous? Or do you ignore his comments, figuring that you’ll tackle this issue some other time?

What would you do?

This week’s Dilemma Friday comes courtesy of Lynette Curtis: (Yep, I decided to keep it, so thanks for the comments guys)

You pick up your mother-in-law from work as a favor because her car is in the shop and you work fairly close to each other.

As a thank you, when you stop through the McDonald’s drive-through to pick up dinner for your family she pays for it. McDonalds is doing their Monopoly sweepstakes. When you get home and your familly eat dinner you collect the pieces for a lark and realize you’ve just won 5,000.

What do you do? Do you give the money to your mother-in-law who paid for the dinner, split it, or don’t tell her?


You’ll notice there is no Dilemma Friday today, I did have a decent one to post, but I wanted to know if this is a feature that’s worth keeping.

If you want me to continue with the DFs, please let me know in the comments section.

If you don’t give a shit, then don’t bother posting a comment.

If I get enough yeses, then I’ll continue to post the DFs.

Simple yes?


This fantastic Dilemma Friday comes courtesy of regular KKB reader Anon76, so thanks very much.

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You and your husband have a beautiful little girl (let’s call her Megan). When she’s five years old, you discover that she’s developed Leukemia. You go to see all the specialists that you can, and they inform you that in order to keep her alive, she’s going to need constant blood transfusions, and various organs will have to be replaced throughout her probably short life.

You learn that one way of ensuring that Megan has a genetic match for the organs that she needs, is to have a another child.

What do you do? Do you engineer a child specially to save the child that you already have, or do you just keep up with the various treatments and pray for a miracle for Megan?

What would you do?

By the way, anybody interested in submitting a Dilemma Friday post, can do so by emailing me at hairylemony @ gmail. com (no spaces). I’ll be happy to post the decent ones on here over the next few Fridays.

This week’s Dilemma Friday post comes courtesy of The Creole in DC blog:

You’re looking to shed some weight, so you start trying to eat more healthy foods, and you decide to hire a personal trainer. You look in the yellow pages, and find a guy who seems to be fairly popular.

You call this guy up, and he agrees to train you.

He comes to your house (let’s assume he isn’t an axe murderer) and you discover that he’s actually overweight, and doesn’t look particularly healthy.

What do you do?

Do you go ahead with his services, figuring that he’s obviously a ‘Do as I say not as I do’ kinda guy? Or do you dispense with his services, feeling that you need somebody who can at least visually inspire you?

What would you do?

By the way, anybody interested in submitting a Dilemma Friday post, can do so by emailing me at hairylemony @ gmail. com (no spaces). I’ll be happy to post the decent ones on here over the next few Fridays.


This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You have a really popular blog where you review books. You get thousands of hits everyday, and readers flock to you for your no-nonsense take on newly released romance novels. You don’t get paid for the reviews, you just get free books from publishers and authors, which you of course appreciate.

One day, you get chatting to a newly published author, and out of the blue, she offers to give you $200 for you to post a ‘positive’ review on your blog.

As it happens, you’ve already read her book, and it sucked great big hairy donkey balls.

What do you do? Do you take the money, figuring that $200 is too much to refuse, or do you say thanks but no thanks, and stick to your reviewing principal of honesty always?

What would you do???

This week’s dilemma comes directly from the Creole in DC blog:

You go through a VERY difficult breakup with the father of your two children.

During the breakup he once told you that he would kill you AND your babies.

You have stayed away from him since then and kept your children away from him.

It’s 6 months later and you still haven’t filed for child support because you just don’t want to anger him and you have been struggling financially.

He has apologized and has said that both of you said things you’d never do during the breakup and that you know he’d NEVER do something to his children.

What do you do?

What would you do? Do you let him see the children, or do you fight his access claims in the courts?

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You’re at a romance reader’s convention (yeah, you’ve been there for a while *g*). You meet a lovely woman named Tina, who’s really excited to be there. She tells you that she’s saved all year to make it this year, and she can’t wait to meet the authors. You spend quite a bit of time with her, and she confides in you that her hubby has been seriously ill, and because his medical bills were so astronomical (sic), at one point, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it here.

Later, you part ways in order to go and see your respective fave authors.

You’re walking out of the signing suite, when you spot Tina. You’re about to call out to her, when you see her bend over, pick up a wallet, and quickly stuff it in her bag. You assume she’s just dropped her purse, and think nothing of it.

Five minutes later one of the convention organisers gets on the microphone and announces that one of the attendees has lost her wallet. She asks for anybody who has seen the purse to come and see her. She describes the purse in detail and it dawns on you that the wallet that you witnessed Tina picking up earlier, obviously wasn’t hers. You wait for her to approach the organiser, but she doesn’t make a move.

You confront her with your suspicions, and urge her to hand the wallet in. She laughs nervously, and tells you that she has no idea what you’re talking about.

What do you do? Do you leave it alone, taking into consideration what a tough year she’s had, or do you report her to the convention organisers, because at the end of the day, stealing is just plain wrong?

What would you do???

Dilemma Friday: Would You Tell On Her?

Friday, September 18, 2009
Posted in: Dilemma of the week

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You’re at a Romance Readers Convention, and you’re eagerly looking forward to meeting your idol, Nora Howard (humour me, people).

You’re wandering around the hotel looking for the room where the book signing is taking place, when you suddenly spot your favourite author, Nora Howard going into a room. You follow her, assuming that she must be going into the book- signing suite.

You walk through the door, expecting to see lots of people milling around, but in fact it seems to be some kind of large store room. You spot Ms Howard hastily throwing lots of books into a brown sack. She looks around furtively and you realise that she’s doing something rather naughty.

You back out of the room and wait until she comes out.

You follow her out of the building, and watch her dump the books into a bin.

When she leaves, you go along to investigate.

You discover that all the books are by author, Janet Bailey. You remember that a while ago, Ms Bailey was found guilty of plagiarism. She’d copied large chunks of writing froma couple of Ms Howard’s books.

You figure that Ms Howard has decided to get her revenge by dumping all of the books that Ms Bailey will need for the signings.

What do you do? Do you alert the hotel staff, so that the books can be returned to Ms Bailey, or do you ignore the whole thing, figuring that Ms Bailey had it coming, considering what a cheating skank she is?

What would you do?? *g*

(There is a 3rd option, but I’m assuming that you’re all as honest as the day is long, heh)

Continuing the theme, this week’s dilemma is as follows:

You’ve successfully helped build a business that is now thriving. You get on well with your colleagues, and you are well respected throughout the organisation.

You are then approached by a rival company, who have only just started up. They offer you twice the salary you are currently earning, and an office with an amazing view. You do your research and find that they appear to be savvy people, with plenty of experience in this particular field.

What do you do? Eager for a new challenge, do you take up their offer, knowing that it may take a while to help build a credible organisation, or do you play it safe, and refuse, knowing how hard it is to operate as a start-up company, in the current economic climate?

What would you do?

Dilemma Friday: Would You Try It?

Friday, September 4, 2009
Posted in: Dilemma of the week

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You and your boyfriend have been together for a couple of years. You have health sex life, and you’re both very much in love.

One day he tells you that his fantasy is to sleep with two women at the same time, and wants to know if you would be up for it. He reassures you that it doesn’t matter if you aren’t, he just wants a way to spice up your sex life.

What do you do? Do you say yes, because after all, life is one big experiment, and if you don’t like it, you wont do it again, or do you refuse point blank. Under no circumstances are you going to be sharing him with another woman, or touching another woman’s lady-business.

What would you do? *g*

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You start dating a guy who seems perfect for you. You have great chemistry, and he makes you laugh a lot.

You’ve been dating for two months, when he reveals to you that he’s a porn star.

He explains that he didn’t tell you right away because he wanted to be sure that your relationship was going somewhere. He tells you that he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he really wants to keep seeing you.

What do you do? Do you keep seeing him, figuring that he’s too good to toss aside because of his job, or do you break up with him, knowing that you couldn’t handle him having sex with lots of other people on camera?

What would you do?

Dilemma Friday: Do You Keep Quiet?

Friday, August 21, 2009
Posted in: Dilemma of the week

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You and your husband are close friends with your next door neighbours, Lucy and Neil. You frequently go out together, and you and Lucy are especially close.

One day, you’re out shopping when you see somebody who resembles Neil. You look more closely, and you see that it is indeed your next door neighbour, and he is kissing a woman who is not his wife.

What do you do? Do you A, confront him, with what you know, B, tell his wife, or C keep quiet because it’s not really any of your business?

What would you do?

We might as well continue with this week’s theme eh?

This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You run a very popular blog, that’s visited by all and sundry, far and wide. In order to keep the blog running, you post adverts on the site. By doing this, you generate fairly good revenue that enables you to run competitions, and do other pretty nifty stuff.

One day, you get a request from an author who as well as writing the kind of stuff that you mightily disapprove of, also has a history of being an asshole online. You really don’t like this woman.

Your top advertising spot is available, and she’s willing to pay.

What do you do? Do you take her money, because you figure that her greens are as good as anybody else’s, or do you tell her thanks, but no thanks, because you just don’t want her associated with your blog in any way?

What would you do?


This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You run a small company, and you’re currently looking to hire a new assistant. You interview a guy who’s perfect in every way, but ufortunately, he served time in prison for aggravated burglary and assault. He explains that he’s trying to get his life together, and admits that he made some huge mistakes. He just needs a chance to prove that he’s a changed man.

What do you do? Do you give him that chance, and take a risk by employing him, or do you send him on his way, and look for other suitable candidates? What would you do?


I stole this Dilemma Friday from the Creole In DC blog:

You’re divorced, and your hubby has re-married. You have children together, and you retain a good co-parenting relationship.

You and his wife get on well enough, and you don’t have a problem with her.

During a family celebration, you overhear your ex’s wife talking about something that happened when they first started dating. You realise that the wife thinks that you were legally separated at the time. In actual fact you weren’t. You also recall that your husband was always travelling, supposedly for work. You realise now that he was really going to see her.

This happened more than ten years ago, but you still feel a little hurt, because he was obviously lying to both of you the whole time.

What do you do? Do you A, confront your ex about his lying, B, do you tell his new wife about his lies, or C, do you leave it alone seeing as it was over ten years ago?


This week’s dilemma is as follows:

You’re engaged to be married to the love of your life. You’ve been together for nearly five years, and at last the big day arrives. You’ve invited all your friends and family, and you can’t wait till they witness your marriage to the man you love.

You get to the church, and your fiance hasn’t arrived yet. You ask the best man where he is, and he has no idea.

You wait, and wait, but he doesn’t appear. It’s clear that you’ve been jilted on your wedding day. You’re absolutely devastated. The whole wedding has to be cancelled.

A few weeks later, your ex-fiance returns to the house you share. He tells you that he’s sorry that he let you down, and begs for your forgiveness. Apparently he got cold feet, and he felt overwhelmed by everything so he ran away. He also asks you to marry him again.

What do you do? Do you forgive him for not showing up on what was supposed to be the best day of your life, or do you tell him that it’s over?

What would you do?