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I’m amazed by how many people visit my post about male virgins who are over thirty. The following comment was left by yet another male virgin. His story is very interesting:

I have a very similar situation, but more complex. I’m 34, single and never been kissed.

I grew up in another country where men and women do not talk to each other and most marriages are set up by families. However, I’m not religious, which made me an outcast there. I moved West.

I also had social anxiety. I was very self-conscious about hair loss and body hair.

My height growth stopped at 5’7? due to mumps when I was 13. 5’7? is quite tall. However, it became another reason for my self-consciousness because women in the West constantly rejected me in online dating.

Even women as short as 4’11? reject me because I’m not above 5’8? or 6? or whatever arbitrary minimum criterion they’ve come up with in their online dating profiles.

I experimented by increasing my height to 5’9? or 6’1? with exactly the same profile content, and I would get responses from the same women who rejected me previously.

I proved through a lot of experiments using different photos, fake hair, PhotShop’ping, changing height, athleticism, etc that women online were just shallow! (more…)

Interesting comment posted on my Thirty Year Old Virgin thread: (The typos are painful, but it’s fairly interesting – if any of it is true that is)

Im a 30 year old male, semi pro skater. Ive got a very good job which pays very well but again i work from home. I play computer games ALL the time, its like an addiction. I only leave the house to go skating which i use as a form of fitness. $40,000 in debt, no friends, no family and ive also never had a girlfriend.

The last and only girl ive kissed (not passionatly, never in my life have i kissed passionatly)was my mom. Im not good at socialising because i cant keep conversation going, i really have nothing intresting to talk about and loose intrest if im not being spoken to, about things i like e.g. skating & computer games. Im in great shape as ive always been very self-consicous, look after my body like a listed building, always smell great (adidas sponsorship – thanks guys for the tops trousers and shower gel etc…)

For some reason all my life ive chased girls and not one of them has been interested in me. My confidence is now non-existing due to all the negitive put downs ive delt with. So im now very, very, very, very loneley, depressed and i only thing i have to live for is my job, which i need to pay of debts. Why are girls / women SO VERY VERY crule?? They can ruin a mans LIFE. Now ive lost my mom i get no attention/love at all and i think in time i may just turn to sucide, unite with my mom and i think i’ll be happy again.

So, how true do we think the above is? Seems like he’s taking the piss to me…

Yet another over thirty year old male virgin writes:

I’m in the exact position of Chris #38. Hilarious how similar our stories are. Although, I have been on several dates.

I basically gave up on women in my 20s for that very reason. I got a late start as it is–only started dating in my mid ’20s. But by that time there was no such thing as ‘dating’, for the females it seemed like some kind of panicked progression on the ladder to marriage/kids that I wanted nothing to do with.

There have been a few close calls, but I could never seal the deal because I was pretty honest about me being a biological dead end.

It’s funny because occasionally I’ll attract some random chick out of the blue but once she finds out about my V-Card status it’s all over. I must be some kind of FREAK! The heroin addict, wife beater, or violent felon you were dating before meeting me was totally normal though. : ) Hilarious–but utterly predictable.

I recently got into shape (used to be really fat) and seem to attract attention from females, but I don’t have that pavlovian response to vagina that would get me to act on these supposed signs I’ve been noticing. Which is why I advise all men to get laid before they’re 20–if you plan on having any kind of passion at all.

Anyway–athiest, mid-30s, childfree virgins unite!

Are women in their twenties truly only using the dating game as a means to an end? Do they all really only want to date just to get married?

You remember the blog post where I asked if there were many virgin men over the age of 30? Well, apparently there are more of them out there than I would have imagined.

Check out the most recent comment from that old thread, this guy is called Mike:

I’m a 53 yr. old virgin. I never thought life would work out this way. Here is my backstory-no I’m not gay, but I was always shy around women.I never had the confidence to ask for a date. I got colitis at 20, and I never owned a car until I was 33. First date was at 35, and the last one was 8 yrs. ago. I dated 5 times in all. I never enjoyed it.

At the time in life when most folks get laid and pair up, I had to fight a tough illness and had no money. Today I’m worth six figures, and it’s nice to have that, but there are NO dating prospects anywhere. I did not know you can and will “age out” of the dating market.

After 40 it’s pretty much over. I kept hoping, but I was fooling myself. In the USA only 5% of men over 40 ever marry, and only 1% of all women over 40 marry. The partners aren’t there. I must learn to be single and enjoy it. I’ve handled many divorces as a paralegal, and I see what married people go through. I’m sorry I missed out on all that great sex. I do feel thankful I didn’t contribute to fatherless America or the welfare rolls.

I never had to deal with the agony of divorce either.

I guess I’m weird. I grew up with a large dysfunctional family, and my parents never encouraged me to date let alone marry. If you don’t get laid by 21, you are moving in the wrong direction. I wouldn’t want anyone to end up in my shoes. Date early, find someone to be with in bed, or you will feel terribly lonely at the end of the trail.

The regrets of what I missed will haunt me forever.

That’s so sad right? What would your advice to Mike be? He seems to think his sexual life is over at the relatively young age of 53.

Over at the I Heart Harlequin Presents blog, they were talking about the fact that so many Presents titles seem to have the word ‘virgin’ in them. (Ya don’t say?) The actual post was a mite boring, as many of the posts over there tend to be, but I came across an interesting comment that caught my eye:

“I love to read about virginal heroines, and when it comes to reality, believe me, there are virgins over the age of 18. I was one of them. I had my first boyfriend (now my husband) at the age of 21. And he was 30 at that time, and guess what, a virgin himself! Of course I expected him to be experienced (because I read so many Presents books:)), but he soon told me he was not, and I thought, ok, why not? Let’s learn and have fun together!”

I was quite fascinated at the notion that there are males over thirty out there, who are virgins for non-religious reasons. Do you guys know any?