HomeReviewsInterviewsStoreABlogsOn Writing

Katie Price
Katie Price

Have any of you ever attended a wedding full of lapdancers and strippers?

Well, TTG and I did last night.

The bride was a lapdancer, and she invited a whole host of her lapdancing friends and colleagues.

It was certainly an eye-opener.

It was so clichéd.

We were invited by the groom, who was TTG’s friend, and neither of us had met the bride before, so this entitled us to be as mean and two-faced as we liked. So we indulged.

I’ve actually never seen so many botoxed cheeks, enhanced lips, fake double D boobs, and orange peel-looking skin in one place. The bride, bless her cottons looked like her lips were hurting, and her black Katie Price styled hair extensions kept getting caught in the train of her dress.

TTG and I spent most of the day with our jaws on the floor, and we were mean and totally judgemental, and after attempting to converse with a few of the lapdancers, that didn’t change.

Anyway, we had a good time, even though I was the designated driver as per usual.

At the end of the night, we came home and cackled like the bad people we are, hehe…

I always thought they were referred to as ‘unpublished’, but apparently, that’s a derogatory term these days.

No, apparently the more politically correct term is ‘pre-published’.

Yeah, that’s what I thought too.

You guys remember her, right? Course you do, she was hot topic round Blogland for two days or so.

You know what they say about eavesdroppers never hearing any good of themselves, and how re-posting things online is kinda, well you know… passe?

Well, since I have no moral compass, to speak of, let me share this little Yahoo List conversation with you…

“I just don’t feel like doing anything today. So far, I think I’ve only written about…

I keep telling myself I need to work on this book for Helen but there just any motivation to get it done. I’m not even sure if/when they will contract it because it will most likely go into ’09.

On the other hand, even though I know I won’t get a tenth of the money from Total E Bound, it’s nice to be able to write a book and very quickly see the fruits of your labor.

Maybe I’m just in a funk today. Saw an interesting article on Karen’s blog this morning. Complaining about Feels So Right and the Quickie by Barb sherridan and Anne Cain being the same story.

Of course she admitted that she hadn’t read either one, but the blurbs both had the brother of the bride falling for the father of the groom.

It’s not like we got together and planned it. I’m sure that if you took all the Naughty Nuptial Quickies and put them side by side, a lot of them would have the same combination of players.

But because Karen has a hard-on for me, this is the one that gets the attention. I feel like writing Anne and Barb a note appologizing for bringing them into Karen’s little hateful world.”
Carol Lynne

“Who the fuck is this Karen bitch anyway? Is she reviewer? Another publisher? What’s her deal?”
Christine Allen-Riley

“Wait a sec…is she the Dear Author hag?”
Christine Allen Riley

Re: Blagh!

“Karen is the blogger bitch from London who first started the carnage over Ben’s book. Since then she mentions my name every time she can.
I probably brought more bloggers to her site than anyone else. She also hates, hates, Jaid/Tina.


I keep thinking if I don’t respond in any way it will all just go away, but apparently Karen doesn’t want that. She likes the attention I believe.”
Carol Lynne

“Only 1200. Gee Carol, I wish I could do that many.

What a jerk Karen aqpparently is. I liked Feels So Right, btw. And the two aren’t even close to being the same book. Of course she’d know that if she’d read them.

I mean what about tentacles of love. The groom is trying to hide something in that one. In Heather Holland’s Desperate [something] the guy… hiding something. Wedding Jitters the heroine is trying to hide something.

All plot points. Additionally, when dealing with a wedding, there are only so many stock characters to deal with. With readership looking toward a little bit older characters, it stands to reason that a parent might come into play. With as many Nuptial books as their doing, it also stands to reason that there will be cross over plot points.

Karen needs to get over herself and take and enema”

Michele w/a Brynn Paulin

“Yeah, it’s also why I’ll never do another themed Quickie. I’m sure someone will also have a M/M werewolf quickie out at Halloween and I’ll hear the same thing all over again.”
Carol Lynne

“I’m just really depressed today. When I read other books, they just don’t read like mine. I used to think maybe I just had a different style, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I’m too close to them, but mine seem to read rather simple in nature. Maybe it’s because I’m a story teller and not a story weaver. Who knows.

I can tell the mechanics of my writing are improving, but I think that’s not the only problem. I’ll know more when the new stories come out next month from the other publisher. Those are written with a different editor/beta, and they include the new mechanical skills I’ve learned so far.

If they are well received it will make me feel a little better. I’m also really worried about any nasty reviews I may get when Finnegan’s Promise comes out. Maybe writing something so personal isn’t such a good idea. That book is way too meaningful to me to let anyone rip it to shreds. I can be the strong, silent author for only so long before I decide to fight back, whether it hurts my career or not.”
Carol Lynne

Carol, how many people knew your name before I reviewed your book honey? I give you all that gooey free publicity, and this is how you repay me?

Some people are soooo ungrateful…

Seriously, don’t feel bad , I totally get your anger, and know that I don’t hate you for it. I hated your book, not you, but I guess you feel they’re one and the same huh? Sorry I totally trashed your book, and made you feel bad, depressed even, by all accounts, but look on the bright side, at least you got my money, which means you had the last laugh right?

By the way Carol, you know there were much worse stuff in there that I didn’t post right? You know why I never posted them? Because that would have just been plain ‘ole mean, plus they had nothing to do with me. Better go and hide those posts quickly now, you never know, how many of your peers will be reading them…

Oh yeah, and you can slag people off as much as you want, God knows, everybody does it, but for the love of God, lock your goddamn posts, so that they aren’t accessible to all and sundry.