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The other day, TTG and I were putting away the shopping, when we got onto the subject of the difference between my romance books, and porn. This is how the conversation went:

TTG: *Grabs book off kitchen top*
TTG: Jesus, this is pure porn.
KS: No it’s not:
TTG: *Reads out loud* “Her tongue flattened, raking the sensitive flesh beneath his cock and she felt another pulse of liquid, fall from the engorged flesh”
KS: What’s your point?
TTG: That’s porn:
KS: ::BLINKS::
TTG: If you put that scene in a film, it would be pornographic.
KS: It was romantic.
TTG: ::BLINKS::
TTG: *Looks at cover suspiciously*
TTG: Hmm… isn’t she the writer who likes anal?
KS: Erm…
TTG: Do you think she likes it up the arse?
KS: *lifts head from out of the fridge* Who?
TTG: Her
KS: *Checks cover*
KS: Dunno.
TTG: I reckon she does.
KS: Where did you put the toothpaste?
TTG: In fact, I think most of your writers are probably into kinky stuff
KS: What kinky stuff?
TTG: You know… water sports, and that kinda thing
KS: *SIGHS*
KS: I don’t read fetish books
TTG: Isn’t anal sex a fetish?
KS: Erm… I dunno.
TTG: Take away the storyline, and you’re left with porn.
KS: ::BLINKS::
KS: At least my porn has words.
TTG: So do mine
KS: ‘Suck Me Big Boy’ ten million times doesn’t count.
TTG: It’s art.
KS: Uh huh…
TTG: ::Silence::
TTG: Do you wanna go to bed?
KS: *Lifts head from shopping bags*
KS: What?
TTG: I feel horny.
KS: ::BLINKS::
KS: I’ve got a headache.
TTG: I bet the women in your books never have headaches.
KS: The men in my books all have twelve inch dicks, so what’s your point?
TTG: ::Silence::
TTG: So do you think she likes it up the arse then?
KS: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, WHO GIVES A SHIT! NOW FIND THE FUCKING TOOTHPASTE!

Men.